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Your Very Own Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut

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Did you not get enough hot, hot NFC East action earlier today? Well have I got a treaty-treat for your eyeballs! (ok, I have to give the NFL sked-makers a bit of credit here)

To The Game!

TEAM/Cowboys:

-Dallas has 4(!) takeaways in each of their last three games which is completely sustainable. Seriously, those extra four opportunities per game are masking some serious problems on a star-studded offense.

-Antonio Gibson’s toe is a game-timer. No word if it went to the market or was just enjoying a nice Chablis on a patio.

-That circumstance as well as a ton of folks on Covid and the short turnaround from the Tuesday game spell disaster tonight, methinks.

-With 10 interceptions and with three games to go, that other Diggs guy is a lock to break Everson Walls’ Cowboys record of 11 picks in a season.

-Amari “Want Ball More” Cooper should have no problems whatsoever vs TEAM’s depleted secondary, should DAK! deign to throw him the ball.

-Heinicke is a mere 69 (shut up!) yards shy of 3,000 yards passing which ain’t that bad for a scrub that was thrown into a starting role.

-Pour one out for Scary Terry McLaurin. Yes, he’s leading Washington in receiving (I mean, who else would be?) but relatively speaking this seems like a lost year. Much like Allen Robinson, I thought this guy was ‘quarterback proof’ in that, no matter the talent throwing to him, he was going to put up top 12 numbers. Not so. Hopefully, someone worthy of his talent is behind center next year.

Have at it.

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Horatio Cornblower

Collinsworth and Al getting into a brawl about how to score a fumble TD would be the chef’s kiss ending to this game.

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Gumbygirl

Didn’t Collinsworthless already get in trouble because of this condescending ‘”wow, women know about football” bullshit? He and Al Michaels can eat an entire bag of dicks.

Last edited 4 years ago by Gumbygirl
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Al Michaels hasn’t done anything good since his creepy role as himself in Baseketball

2
Horatio Cornblower

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Last edited 4 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
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JimU

Only way to keep this game interesting.

1
Horatio Cornblower

The Redacteds need a big tent over them with calliope music just fucking blaring.

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Horatio Cornblower

IT’S COOPER RUSH TIME!!!

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Horatio Cornblower

The Cowboys getting called for 5 yards for being offsides while Hienecke is crawling around looking for his spleen is a pretty perfect encapsulation of this game.

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Horatio Cornblower

Micah Parsons on being compared to Lawrence Taylor: “I do not do cocaine or pay for sex with teenage prostitutes.”

3
Mr. Ayo

Yet

4
Spur

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Spur

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh cool the highlight package for Broncos-Raiders is now available:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aCP6Q95Nk64

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Horatio Cornblower

This is the greatest football game I have ever seen.

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Horatio Cornblower

It would be nice, but it’s never going to happen. No one likes JJ, and The Narrative in the NFC is Green Bay and Tampa Bay, in that order. Dallas is at best 4th.

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yeah right

Cris Collingsworth still trying to make “Sawl” a word.

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Horatio Cornblower

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Horatio Cornblower

I don’t go back to work until 1/4, and if there’s a better feeling in the world that doesn’t involve heroin I don’t know it.

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Horatio Cornblower

Mikaela Shiffrin is not unattractive and is one of the best skiers on the planet.
comment image?width=280&sharpen=true

If she hits a couple of gold medals in the Olympics she is going to make more money than Jim Irsay spends on a Saturday night at the disco.

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Horatio Cornblower

Naturally she’s dating a Viking with devastating good looks.
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Mr. Ayo

*scribbles game over in notebook*

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Horatio Cornblower

The second-half Dallas team better look like the roster for the last pre-season game of the year; just straight cannon-fodder across the lines.

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Redshirt

This Washington Team is about to explode.

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Horatio Cornblower

Their half-time trip to the locker room is gonna be a real trail of tears.

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Spur

Those heater benches were a bad idea. Everyone’s blood is boiling.

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Horatio Cornblower

Jonathan Adam is listed as ‘Questionable for return, may murder teammate’

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Redshirt

Can a player be ejected for throwing a punch at his own teammate?

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Spur

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyc7nB-CJKs&ab

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hippofant

I’m calling it. Gonna watch some CUUUUUBE on Twitch.

0
Spur

Gleaming the Cube?

0
herodotus450

Can I interest you in an Oat or Goat instead?

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Horatio Cornblower

I suspect Cooper Rush is getting warmed up for the second half.

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Spur

I suspect Heinicke is going to remain out there until Tank runs him over
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Horatio Cornblower

I will die on a hill arguing that this might be the best kill scene in movie history.

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Redshirt

You have your hill and I have mine.

The Naked Gun 2½ (1991) “Shower Scene” – YouTube

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Horatio Cornblower

When the killer breaks into song I cry laughing every goddamn time.

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Redshirt

This is why today’s comedy movies fail. They go for cheap laughs and not great writing and bits like this.

1
Gumbygirl

It’s the toothbrush/ hair dryer battle that gets me.

1
yeah right

Was that Kelly Leake?

0
Petronel

Another possible contestant for that title:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQKrmDLvijo

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Horatio Cornblower

Is this a mock draft topic for the off-season, Horatio?

Yes it is, Other Horatio. Yes it is.

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Spur

https://youtu.be/ky_8hn5lCFs?t=158

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jason Vorhees slamming that girl in a sleeping bag against a tree is the one that comes to mind for me.

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Spur

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rockingdog

Hahaha That’s Rocking!

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rockingdog

Last funny;

This is Rocking!

D066F635-4B21-4BDD-B7A0-5A8180B84ACB.jpeg
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not enough yet though

0
Spur

Those Swanson meals are colon cancer juice.

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Redshirt

You have put me in a position to defend Nazis. As a person with German family history, you are putting me in a very uncomfortable position here.

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Spur

Collinsworth is rounding up the lynch mob for WFTs #94 for fighting with a teammate.

Last edited 4 years ago by Spur
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Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen {redacteds} turn on each other like this since the Iroquois left the Six Nations Confederation!

(has no idea if this happened, is reaching)

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herodotus450

Those Algonquins had it coming!

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Horatio Cornblower

Them and their fancy hotel bars in New York City.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And their elitist round tables!

2
Redshirt

Just watched the Spider-Man Hyundai commercial and only a Hollywood executive would think Kansas is 300 miles from New York City.

2
Redshirt

Okay, Robocop 2 is in the depressing part where they backtrack all the progress they made in Robocop of Murphy rediscovering his humanity and go “Forget it! He’s a robot named Murphy!” Back to football…

Okay, I see SNF is also in the depressing part, too.

1
Spur

I disagree. The writers did a great job on this. The lawyers start explaining how a grieving wife is going crazy. She believes her murdered husband is back but is really not. The lawyers point out Alex cant be a man she needs. So Alex decides on his terms to be Robocop.

Also this game is Great.

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Redshirt

It was rushed. It was like they made the movie and then decided to shove this whole story into Act 1.

They could’ve have spanned it out the whole movie, with Alex longing for his past and had the ending be Alex saying goodbye to his wife but not in a cold way. Not “You’re husband is dead. I don’t know you.” Instead “I may not be your husband, but I have your husband’s memories. He would not want you to continue to suffer.”

Last edited 4 years ago by Redshirt
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Horatio Cornblower

I’ve never seen Robocop 2, and in fact I’m not sure I knew it existed until now, but since Spur is right that this game is great, I also agree that Robocop 2 is great.

0
Redshirt

You and Spur are correct. Robocop 2 is great. Robocop 1 is better.

Robocop 3 wasn’t a complete disaster (see Rocky V), but it wasn’t needed.

Robocop remake was an interesting movie that attempted to approach the original but from the opposite perspective (realistic movie instead of violent self-parody; family still in the picture; Murphy fully retains humanity instead of becoming something new). It still wasn’t as good as the original, but I still liked it.

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JimU

It looks like my decision to not watch this game is paying off in spades!

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Fronkenshteen

BANNER

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Horatio Cornblower

Seconded.

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Redshirt

Do we have to? I’d hate to treat the current banner like shit.

1
Horatio Cornblower

What you did, it’s there, and I see it.

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Gumbygirl

Bannerbannerbannerbanner!

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Fronkenshteen

I need 56 rushing yards from Gibson. I think I’m fucked.

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Horatio Cornblower

TD reception, anyway.

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Mr. Ayo

Oh no, Team. What are you doing?

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King Hippo

This…this, is no longer gonna be on in the background. As soon as my senile ass can remember what I done with the remote.

/no, is NOT up my butt, I done checked smgdh

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Horatio Cornblower

I am never turning this game off.

At least until Dallas goes up 28-3.

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Horatio Cornblower

As much fun as I make of vegetarians, I am very much at an age where increasing my vegetable intake while decreasing my red meat consumption is very much in my interests.

1
Fronkenshteen

Do meat-based stocks have the same detrimental effects as the actual meats? Because I think I could go vegetarian if I could still have beef and chicken stocks. That sounds stupid, but you know what I mean.

0
Horatio Cornblower

We’ve done a lot more ground turkey in place of red meat. It’s fine, I don’t miss ground burgers, and I’m not at all upset that I can’t tie a noose for shit.

0
Mr. Ayo

Don’t throw at Diggs

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Petronel

Don’t really want to hear Collinsworth talking about staring into people’s souls, thanks

0
Redshirt

Almost forgot to post the tribute to these wholesome Christmas movie that is fun for the whole family.

Honest Action – Home Alone – YouTube

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rockingdog

LOL

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rockingdog

Hahaha that’s Rocking!!!

0
rockingdog

Found a funny;

Shaggy’s 2000 hit song ‘It Wasn’t Me’ was a pro-gaslighting anthem but we weren’t advanced enough as a society at that time to recognize it and call it out

0
Redshirt

I would’ve guessed a Jan. 6th anthem.

“They caught me on the steps.” “It wasn’t me.”
“They caught me breaking the window.” “It wasn’t me.”
“They caught me beating that cop.” “It wasn’t me.”
“They caught me on the Senate floor.” “It wasn’t me.”
“They even caught me in Pelosi’s chair!”

Last edited 4 years ago by Redshirt
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herodotus450

Also a cautionary tale about the oncoming surveillance state as evidenced by the line “she even got me on camera”

0
JimU

Dallas has clinched the division though they are in contention for the #1 seed. Still not watching this game.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Samesies

0
King Hippo

It’s on in the background? But no pay no attention.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Just wrote the last tuition check I will ever write in my life.

Go ahead, Dallas, fuck me up. I am beyond disappointment this evening.

4
JimU

Was it for you or your kid?

0
Horatio Cornblower

Kid. I still remember the day I paid off my law school loans. Did it in 10 years, and went without a lot of things to make sure I did.

And I’m still in favor of student loan forgiveness, because I understand that tuition has sky-rocketed while wages have not, and because I’m not an asshole.

At least on this subject. Pretty much any other issue, eh, can’t argue with it.

0
Redshirt

I paid off my loans about six years ago, however I had to live at home with my parents to pull it off. That also includes overtime and a small jackpot winner at a casino.

While I don’t fully agree with Student Loan Forgiveness (veers a bit too much to a handout for me), I can understand why it is needed as Tuition has skyrocketed (240% from when I went to school) while everyone is saying everyone should go to college, when in reality some people would benefit more from a trade school rather than college.

What is needed is tuition control. If tuition was at today’s prices when I graduated high school, I’d never be able to afford college.

Last edited 4 years ago by Redshirt
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Horatio Cornblower

What you need to do for that is get the government out of giving out no-question loans. You do that and tuition will drop like Joe Biden’s approval ratings.

I do think some sort of means testing should be involved. You come out of law school into a job with a starting salary over 100K I don’t need to hear about your loans woes, but if you come out and take a 40K a year job as a public defender I’m more than happy to have the government eat that.

I’m also not really inclined to forgive someone’s $150K loan to get a PhD in new wave French cinema, but that’s getting way too subjective.

1
herodotus450

Hollywood upstairs medical school has gotten expensive

2
Horatio Cornblower

It’s that goddamn rock-climbing wall.

1
JimU

Yeah, colleges have to have a bunch of that stuff to attract students now. They’re country clubs now!

0
Redshirt

Seattle fans are behaving rationally.

Seahawks Fan Throws Snowball at Bears Players (msn.com)

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Because they aren’t batteries?

1
Horatio Cornblower

Saw the video. Dick move, but impressive arm.

0
Redshirt

— Ryan Leaf’s NFL Combine Scouting Report

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