Guess who was inundated with every kind of hat ad imaginable all week long? This guy, that’s who. (the personal sacrifices I make for this site, smgdh) Maybe it’s just the football yakkers doing their thing to keep interest up (which is completely unnecessary during the Final Eight Round, by the way) but each “dog” playing this weekend has a legit shot at a win. (I feel there’s no real dog in the Bills/Chiefs game tho)
To The Game!
Bengals/Titans:
-Vrabel mentioned that he wanted to see how King Henry reacted to contact during practice. After sending three practice squadders to the hospital, coach announced that Derrick was ‘ready to go!’.
-Entering Belichick/Reid Territory? Vrabel is 8-0 when his team has had rest.
-Back in 2019 the Bengals were the league’s worst vs the run. After overhauling the D (there are only 2 holdovers from that team) they now sit at 13th. Turning over that many players while assembling that O unit indicates that despite everything you might imagine about about Cincy’s head office, they’ve done incredible work/gotten lucky.
-However! Their o-line features three starters with bottom 10 PFF grades if you’re into that sort of thing. So… quick passes it is. (with the occasional long throw to Chase)
-Speaking of, the fella is 27(!) for 507(!) and 3 TD’s over his last three games. The Titans are middle of the pack DVOA-wise in defending the other team’s #1 wr.
-One thing you can say about the Titans OC Downing is that he is disciplined/stubborn with respect to his commitment to the running game. Don’t expect him to change course if they get down by two scores.
-I mean, that almost certainly plays into the Titans game plan, right? The last thing the Bengals should do is go the quick score route and force their iffy D back onto the field for long stretches at a time-that’ll no doubt catch up to them towards the end of the game.
-Also, Burrow’s tendency to take punishment/sacks doesn’t mesh well with a Titans front four that has dumped the opposing qb on the ground the 2nd-most times this year.
It’s time to make those fingers dance.
Joe Burrow: 24 pass attempts
Joe Mixon: 6 rushes
A bit one-sided.
Either I have CTE or that was the shortest halfed-time I ever did see.
Yes.
Get back to the booth, Mr. Green. I will have an intern help you find your pants.
This year’s Superb Owl halftime show will be Snoop Dogg cleaning out his bong water.
LOL
This is Rocking!
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/what-your-favorite-sad-dad-band-says-about-you
Jaws has lost some serious weight. Guess the cocaine is paying off.
It truly is the one and only effective dieting aid.
Karen Carpenter disagrees.
But we’ve only just begun…
“To throw up content for Top Forty radio?”
-Richard Carpenter
She’s not heavy, she’s my sister
She’s not heavy. She’s my sister.
I have to say…pretty sure I couldn’t pull off the “purple suit” look. Plus, I’d feel like I was Tinky-Winky or some shit.
Does another one of those (many, functionally identical) carriers get to remain the official 4G network of the NFL?
/signed, guy who still has BlackBerry
Loved this preview. More insightful than all the stuff I’ve read since Monday.
Still behind; it’s 6-6 in 1st halves.
ANOTHER TIT SACK
yeah, I’ll catch up soon
Will the Bengals Trainers go Any Given Sunday and follow the Hippocratic Oath and give Burrow ice and heat or will they go Varsity Blues and pump Burrow’s knees with sweet, tasty pain killers?
halftime
Always time for a quick catnap.
bengal-cat-kitten-sleeping-bed-closed-eyes-deep-dreams-white-background-bengal-cat-kitten-sleeping-bed-154140269.jpg (800×600) (dreamstime.com)
The Hangover movies are on today as alternative programming to the games. I just finished the first one and they’re starting the second one. Got the game on the bottom screen.
Let’s just say that Tracy (White Doug’s wife) is extremely attractive.
Now that’s how you run out the clock
-McCarthy
(Bengals hunts down and hands ball to referee to spot the ball)
Dez: “What is he doing?”
It’s just too bad that Tennesse’s starting quarteredback got hurt and they have to deploy Tannehill in such a big game.
Beer has food value but food has no beer value
Very fresh bread might have a little yeasty alcohol business still in it?
I might have just let that clock run.
Agreed. You don’t let the Titans talk about this punt and you get a timeout to run your FG team on the field.
Where is Don T???
surrounded by many burning candles, trying not to get hot wax on his wing-wang?
He did send me a message that he was drinking the bottle of gin I sent him this morning with his lady friend.
Gin in the morning
Liver takes warning
The fourth circle of hell maybe? That’s the one where you only get sporadic coverage of the game.
None of my Don T/Dante jokes ever land, SMGDH!!!
ooooohhhhhh!!!
/y’all is too smart for me sometimes
That would have been good from 64
That was an adorably cute sack by Simmons. Was like he just tucked Joe Burrow into bed.
“CAN YOU JUST GET RID OF THE FUCKING BALL WHEN YOU SEE YOU’RE IN TROUBLE, FUCK SAKES!”*
-Me, channeling the dark side of Redshirt
Let the hate flow through you – YouTube
Please-is the clip three hours long?
Fireplace 10 hours full HD – YouTube
Honestly, I thought you would take the higher ground.
Have we not (virtually) met?!
That dude has been such a solid kicker all year.
If this game stays 6-6 they can bring in McNabb to commentate
Fake FG Pooch Punt?
I WAS WRONG!!!!
LOL
Big ol’ Stinkin Raccoon 🦝
Yeah, but WHO put the dead raccoon in the AC duct in the first place???
FBI takes those inter-agency hoops games seriously.
Like I says, it’s always the coons! – Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL
Just run and kick the FG
ain’t nobody ever listen to Hippo
nope never
Brush With Greatness:
Howie Meeker was a surly son of a bitch while ordering chicken noodle soup.
Better lucky than good!
“That’s what I kept telling my patients! Well, some of them. The ones where I got lucky.” – Dr. David Chao
Cincinnati
Cincinnati
Why doesn’t my stupid phone know how to spell Cincinnati?
Well, on the bright side, seeing the franchise get the beat up and your RB running into a brick wall could convince Duke Tobin to invest in the OL in Free Agency and the Draft.
The Bengals are close. Closer than we all thought. They just need a better line.
“Game Over.”
-Redshirt, writing in his notebook, the game tied at 6-6.
They still need to invest in the OL. Just imagine this offense if Burrow has time to throw and Mixon isn’t making his first cut three yards behind the line of scrimmage.
You’re preaching to the choir-I’m a Giants fan-I know all about a crap o-line’s.
Exhibit A
“We drafted Anthony Munoz 25 years ago, what more do you people want!?”
-various Browns
Burrows, Mixon, Chase, Higgins, that TE whose name I can’t spell; it’s all there.
I suspect their picks this year will be O-line, O-line, O-line.
Cue the ” I wonder if that will come back to haunt them taeks”
Eggs Benedict in Beverly Hills, ca. right now.
Brick dines amongst the swimming pools and movie stars.
Now THAT looks like a proper plate of Eggs Benedict!
And it only cost $45.00, plus tax and tip. I think that cup of coffee was ten bucks.
Yup. That sounds about right for Beverly Hills. I once had breakfast at the Peninsula, just a simple eggs and bacon plate, and I believe the cost was somewhere around $65 out the door. Fucking glass of OJ was double figures.
That’s Rockingggg
Tricky Tricky Tricky
Henry with the TD run
That was kinda Rocking!
Giggity
Downing doing a great job of using Henry as a decoy here and there.
I’m sorry redshirt
In my heart, I knew this would happen.
Tannehill is dinged up? Thank you, 17-game season and three-game preseason.
Safe to say that Henry is not quite himself. Yet.
He still has rust. Only playing time can knock that off.
Touchdown, Not Quite Himself.
Bengals don’t win this without Mixon.
Mixon, mixon, mixon. Grind clock. Win game.
That would be Rocking
the longer you can has ball, the less exhausted your Tractorcito-battered defense is in Q4
They need to dust off the Andy Dalton playbook and do the three step drop and throw plays. If they do plays that require several seconds to go through progressions, Joe Burrow will be in the ICU by the end of the 3rd Qtr.
Also keep Mixon involved. He doesn’t need to take over, just be enough of a threat to keep the defense honest.
I don’t hate that. Gotta get Beattie going & keep Tits D honest.
Underrated Thing the Bengals Did-Trent Taylor is a sure-handed dude that couldn’t cut it with a deep wr corps at San Fran. Now he’s returning/not dropping punts for the Bengals.
OH, COME ON! THAT’S TWO FREE HITS THEY’VE GOTTON ON BURROW! GET INVOLVED REFS!
Death by offensive timeout, well done!
TN very much is killing it in the punt game.
New rule: instead of those mooching war widow charities, the proceeds from player or coach fines go directly to a lucky, randomly selected fan in attendance at the game. It’s like winning the lottery, but at the expense of a concussion-addled lunk who will probably end up in worse financial conditions than the fan!
That’ll really help the NFL secure all those ex-Nascar fans that left because Nascar got too progressive!
This Ryan tannehill I call him his wife because Kentucky windage uh…her tits…ah I don’t fuckin know.
That pretty much describes Ryan Tannehill’s success as an NFL QB. You can’t really define it; it just works.
THESE GUYS THE CINCINNATI BENGALS I CALL THEM URBAN MEYER CAUSE THEY LIKE KICKING THINGS.
Paramount+ app is currently shitting the bed.
it held up for me during Shempions, but one assumes that was like .01% of the traffic of NFL playoffs
Yer not wrong
Are you on a German server?
[makes painful screaming orgasm face]
[explains self to wife]
[is sued for divorce]
Doing ok on my laptop, but seems like it would be bad marketing to give people on the free trial a shitty stream right out the gate
That idle game I downloaded yesterday begs to differ.
“Did we piss you off. Well, how’d you like more of the same, but now you hafta PAY for it?!”
I CALL BURROW ‘EARLY GRINCH’ BECAUSE HE’S ALWAYS GOING TO TAKE THAT SACK!