Instant Hippo Thoughts – Sabado el Divisional Round

Holy shit, what do you say about The Game That Had Everything?  OK, Homer – maybe not Morganna the Kissing Bandit or the return of Jim Brown.  But hot damn, Tits/WKRP was some proper footy.

Margins were very thin.  Yes, el Tractorcito played, and played pretty well.  But…deffo not 100%.  Speed was fine, power…less so.  But that was mostly covered up by the burst of new relevation Dante Spelled Wrong.  Tennessee got what they needed – overall – from the run game.

Likewise, Joe Burrow was methodical and efficient, finding ways to get Chase into the open field.  But he couldn’t take deep shots, and they only partially adjusted the playcalling.  Because the Tits’ best kept secret (no, DonT, not The Weapon – we’ve learned of his greatness now)?  The ability to get game-changing pressure on the QB by just rushing four.  They sacked Burrow NINE times.  Number of playoff wins for a QB sacked 8+ times?  Same as Cincy road playoff wins, in history.  ZERO.

But as good as the TN front four was, the CIN back seven was equally stout.  The much-maligned Fiona Apple even made the last of the many game-changing Q4 plays.  Tanny Fanny made like 2-3 big (positive) plays, and that was all.  One of those required super-human body control by AJ Brown (the typing TD, at 16-all).

Tanny Fanny also, to be blunt, fucked up on multiple occasions.  Giving up 9 sacks is a great way to lose, but so is throwing three pickerceptions. Punch, counter-punch.

But though I questioned some of Cincy’s offensive playcalling – it really was played well by both head men.  One of the things I liked best was Vrabel NOT going hurry-up on their last possession – AND Taylor not calling timeouts.  Two heavyweight fighters, wary of how the other might get a haymaker in, kind of felt each other out.  That meant fewer chances for TN, maybe.  But also fewer chances for Cincy to turn the game around again.  Had the last 3rd down pass fell incomplete – no big deal.  You punt, Cincy runs, we go to Extra Time.

But Fiona Apple made an incredibly good – and difficult play, defending the pass WITHOUT incurring BLEERGH’s wrath, and tipping the ball for his linebacker buddy-guy to make a very good catch.  Cincy ball, 20 seconds and 2 timeouts, around its own 43.

Twenty yards and out of bounds on the very first throw.  Then run for 2, timeout with 9 seconds at the 32.

I liked the quick timeout.  Every yard is precious from that distance, so let Mixon run again.  Or, even preserve the chance to take a mulligan if the snap is bad.  But no – Burrow INTENTIONALLY LOST THREE YARDS, setting the ball up on the right hash.  To me, that’s just lunacy.  50 is pretty hard, 53 a not-insignificant amount harder.  But the rookie made it, and now you have ONE playoff team winning taking 8+ sacks.  Baby, if you ever wondered.

Two other HAWT TAKE-ish issues from the game, that I have no strong reaction about.  First, Vrabel taking the 12-man penalty on the extra point at 6-6 early, going for two and coming up like 2 inches short.  Too many interdependent events to say that point “cost” Tennessee anything.  That early, you play the percentages as to what gets you the most EXPECTED points, based on the maths.

What was significant?  The harbinger of not being able to run for a yard.  It happened again with 7 and change to play, score tied and on the very edge of Fat Kicker range.  3rd and 1, Tanny Fanny sneaks for fuckall.  4th and 1, el Tractorcito off-tackle – also for fuckall.  Cincy didn’t score right away, but that was as close as TN would get to pulling ahead.

Also, the incredible tip drill pickerception by the Titans, which went to VAR.  It looked to me like the call on the field was wrong.  The ball hit the ground, and I’m pretty sure it shifted on impact, at least a little.  But was I 90/10 sure it was wrong?  No.  More like 70/30.  Is/should that be enough to overturn the call on the pitch?  I think you can argue THAT either way, so the ruling was fair and sensible.  Play on.

All the various push and pull between these very evenly-matched teams, and perhaps special teams decided it.  Tennessee had the advantage punting (duh, THE WEAPON).  But Cincy got better kick returns.  And they sure as hell had money in the bank with their placement man.

So close, so good.  WKRP 19, DonT’s STILL MAGNIFICENT Tits 16.  One FOAR the ages.

The nightcap promised to be a wet bag of shit.  You just now Fox and The Shield will move heaven and earth for OMFG, Q-aaron and MRSA Dreamboat!!!1111 and just fuck this fucking decade, really.

Bay of Green scored a TD almost immediately.  Then…a whole lot of back-and-forth nothing.  Looked like it would be 10-nil at the half, but Crosby’s kick was blocked (put a pin in that).

Then, the snow started.  It would intensify.  Each team would scratch out 3 points, but the Packers – maybe not without justification – seemed to think they could just run out the clock.  Until they got a punt blocked for 6, and extra point tied us at 10, under 5 to play.

Shell-shocked Q-aaron managed nary a first down, and Janeane quacked a few completions to cross into Packers territory.  After GB used their final timeout withg 1:03 left, Santa Clara (rightly) ran on 3rd and 7.  Miss it, and you likely go for it on 4th and likely Extra Time.

But Deebo, badass to end all badassery – MADE it.  Two more runs gained a crucial 3 yards, and Robbie Gould nailed the winner from 46.  HOLY SHIT, that really happened.  And I would have gone to bed at halftime, if not for doing laundry.   Football was good to us last afternoon/night, truly it was.