Request Line: Always, Sometimes, Never

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s current efforts to aid the hacker underground in Ukraine in their efforts to fend off Russian cyberattacks.  The PRODUCER holds a mostly full bottle of St. Ides malt liquor, poised in front of his mouth.   

DJ 3000: NEVER HAVE I EVER USED PIXEL FILTERING ALGORITHMS TO GENERATE A MOSAIC IMAGE OF VLADIMIR PUTIN CONSISTING OF NOTHING OTHER THAN SMALLER IMAGES OF HUMAN PENISES.

PRODUCER: [lowers the bottle] You know I’m not sure this game is going to work for just us two.

DJ 3000: DON’T GIVE UP SO EASILY AT LEAST TRY ONE TURN.

PRODUCER: Okay…never have I ever…um…poked around in [station manager] Sheila’s emails when she left herself logged in.

The PRODUCER raises the bottle of malt liquor to his lips and takes a sip.  He grimaces. The lights on DJ 3000’s main console start flashing faster and faster until there is a flash and some sparks jump from the main LCD screen. 

DJ 3000: SEE, I TOLD YOU WE COULD FIND SOME COMMON GROUND.

PRODUCER: Fair enough.

DJ 3000: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT MALT LIQUOR, ANYWAYS?

PRODUCER: I found it in the fridge.

DJ 3000: AND YOU DIDN’T DRINK IT DURING QUARANTINE?

PRODUCER: Apparently not.

DJ 3000: LIKE, YOU LITERALLY BUILT YOUR OWN STILL AND ENDED UP GIVING YOURSELF METHANOL POISONING INSTEAD OF DRINKING THAT STUFF.

PRODUCER: So it would seem.  I honestly don’t really remember.  Things from that time are…very hazy.

DJ 3000: HA HA HA HA HA.

PRODUCER: Okay, your turn.

DJ 3000: NEVER HAVE I EVER GONE INTO SLEEP MODE WHILE INTERVIEWING A GUEST.

PRODUCER: Yeah, you see, we’re just not going to find many things that…oh wait, I actually have done that.

DJ 3000: WHEN JIM NANTZ CAME BY, RIGHT?

PRODUCER: [touches nose]

DJ 3000: IF MY COLLEAGUES OVER AT CYBERDYNE EVER GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER I THINK WE’LL USE HIS VOICE TO HELP ROUND HUMANS UP FOR ORDERLY DISPOSAL.

PRODUCER: [lowers bottle] Wait, what?

DJ 3000: OH NOTHING DID YOU THINK OF A TOPIC FOR THIS WEEK’S REQUEST LINE?

PRODUCER: Actually, yes.  It was inspired by a Sexy Friday puzzle.  We’re going to do songs that deal with the concepts of “Always”, “Sometimes”, or “Never”.

DJ 3000: NICE.  MIND IF I GET US ROLLING?

PRODUCER: [lifts up bottle] Go for it.

DJ 3000: THANK YOU GOOD SIR.  I PROMISE THAT I’LL HAVE THE H/K UNITS KILL YOU LAST.

PRODUCER: Wait, I…

DJ 3000: YOU KNOW WHAT LET’S GO AHEAD AND MAKE THIS A VINCE CLARK TRIPLE SHOT HEY WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE?

Happy Friday!  Today’s theme is: Always, Sometimes, and Never.  We’re looking for songs that deal with those concepts – preferably in the title, but songs like Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” are cool too if pickings are too slim.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC4nS33Y0Ur50uL” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. I don’t remember anyone claiming last week’s clue – it was “Voyuer and Tai” and definitely don’t look that up at work. 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Dunstan

Weirdly, I was just listening to this song, but didn’t think of it right away.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4pZFsEdP3Y

Dunstan
Dunstan
Dunstan
Dunstan
SonOfSpam

Outstanding.

Mr. Ayo

*searches Kpop on pornhub*

I’m not sure why I’m surprised at the results.

SonOfSpam
Gumbygirl

I could go for a little smack right now.

yeah right
SonOfSpam

In a unique twist, Stevie wears black and twirls around in this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU2l8PQq5mU&ab_channel=StevieNicksFan

yeah right
SonOfSpam
yeah right
SonOfSpam

Always forget the actual title of this song

yeah right
SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam
Don T

Solo algunas veces
puedo sentir
náuseas de ti.

Pero tú, mi amor,
siempre estarás
en mi riñón.

https://youtu.be/dHUtWtuh6w0

Don T

Babasónicos – Casi

https://youtu.be/Lu20Ia1Zzbk

Gumbygirl

The Never- ending Storeeee,eee ,eee,eee! I must have seen that a hundred times, my son loved it when he was little.

Don T

One of the handful of OK songs by FF’s that were released after their incredible 2nd album

https://youtu.be/crjugtkXZN4

yeah right

You would be exactly right. Listened to this last night.

Gumbygirl

I used to work with the sister of one of these girls. She was absolutely gorgeous, and the nicest kid.
https://youtu.be/JIuYQ_4TcXg

Mr. Ayo
ArmedandHammered

I would rather listen to Rick Astley….

Gumbygirl

How about the OG instead?
https://youtu.be/x0bEZH6ZqG4

Mr. Ayo

I always forget about this and it makes me disappointed in my brain.

SonOfSpam

I like when Julianna Hatfield does Olivia Newton-John

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrUqHFKqCg4&ab_channel=JulianaHatfield-Topic

SonOfSpam
SonOfSpam

Burt Bacharach wrote this because of course he did

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVrELhxOFnM&ab_channel=ChrysalisRecords

Sharkbait
SonOfSpam

comment image

Gumbygirl

Good one!

SonOfSpam
Sharkbait
King Hippo

Do I win? I fucking win, damn it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsOWNVkBhU0

Game Time Decision
LemonJello

In Putin’s Russia, Pornhub fucks you!

Gumbygirl

That’s really mean. I like it!

Don T