INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time. There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s current efforts to aid the hacker underground in Ukraine in their efforts to fend off Russian cyberattacks. The PRODUCER holds a mostly full bottle of St. Ides malt liquor, poised in front of his mouth.
DJ 3000: NEVER HAVE I EVER USED PIXEL FILTERING ALGORITHMS TO GENERATE A MOSAIC IMAGE OF VLADIMIR PUTIN CONSISTING OF NOTHING OTHER THAN SMALLER IMAGES OF HUMAN PENISES.
PRODUCER: [lowers the bottle] You know I’m not sure this game is going to work for just us two.
DJ 3000: DON’T GIVE UP SO EASILY AT LEAST TRY ONE TURN.
PRODUCER: Okay…never have I ever…um…poked around in [station manager] Sheila’s emails when she left herself logged in.
The PRODUCER raises the bottle of malt liquor to his lips and takes a sip. He grimaces. The lights on DJ 3000’s main console start flashing faster and faster until there is a flash and some sparks jump from the main LCD screen.
DJ 3000: SEE, I TOLD YOU WE COULD FIND SOME COMMON GROUND.
PRODUCER: Fair enough.
DJ 3000: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT MALT LIQUOR, ANYWAYS?
PRODUCER: I found it in the fridge.
DJ 3000: AND YOU DIDN’T DRINK IT DURING QUARANTINE?
PRODUCER: Apparently not.
DJ 3000: LIKE, YOU LITERALLY BUILT YOUR OWN STILL AND ENDED UP GIVING YOURSELF METHANOL POISONING INSTEAD OF DRINKING THAT STUFF.
PRODUCER: So it would seem. I honestly don’t really remember. Things from that time are…very hazy.
DJ 3000: HA HA HA HA HA.
PRODUCER: Okay, your turn.
DJ 3000: NEVER HAVE I EVER GONE INTO SLEEP MODE WHILE INTERVIEWING A GUEST.
PRODUCER: Yeah, you see, we’re just not going to find many things that…oh wait, I actually have done that.
DJ 3000: WHEN JIM NANTZ CAME BY, RIGHT?
PRODUCER: [touches nose]
DJ 3000: IF MY COLLEAGUES OVER AT CYBERDYNE EVER GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER I THINK WE’LL USE HIS VOICE TO HELP ROUND HUMANS UP FOR ORDERLY DISPOSAL.
PRODUCER: [lowers bottle] Wait, what?
DJ 3000: OH NOTHING DID YOU THINK OF A TOPIC FOR THIS WEEK’S REQUEST LINE?
PRODUCER: Actually, yes. It was inspired by a Sexy Friday puzzle. We’re going to do songs that deal with the concepts of “Always”, “Sometimes”, or “Never”.
DJ 3000: NICE. MIND IF I GET US ROLLING?
PRODUCER: [lifts up bottle] Go for it.
DJ 3000: THANK YOU GOOD SIR. I PROMISE THAT I’LL HAVE THE H/K UNITS KILL YOU LAST.
PRODUCER: Wait, I…
DJ 3000: YOU KNOW WHAT LET’S GO AHEAD AND MAKE THIS A VINCE CLARK TRIPLE SHOT HEY WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE?
Happy Friday! Today’s theme is: Always, Sometimes, and Never. We’re looking for songs that deal with those concepts – preferably in the title, but songs like Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” are cool too if pickings are too slim. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC4nS33Y0Ur50uL” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. I don’t remember anyone claiming last week’s clue – it was “Voyuer and Tai” and definitely don’t look that up at work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53Z3oKVLkaM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hi8NtRBfrAc
When you hear the expression “Wolf Colonel” you’d expect a song that Rob Ryan would like better, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fn2RQt_3ZE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHNbHn3i9S4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLl7xrGQ1RM
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puSQjcAxbR0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv0bmxq_zYk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkl8yFmGlOo
Weirdly, I was just listening to this song, but didn’t think of it right away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4pZFsEdP3Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gmq4WIjQxp0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4pg6Jh94Lo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhJg1finpyU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krxU5Y9lCS8
Ooh, nice get this late in the day.
I wish tWBS had been around long enough to enjoy the KPOP craze.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lFuA7InjyM
tWBS (artist’s conception)
Outstanding.
*searches Kpop on pornhub*
I’m not sure why I’m surprised at the results.
WOO HEROIN SONG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snILjFUkk_A
I could go for a little smack right now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwq7djqdsjM
In a unique twist, Stevie wears black and twirls around in this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU2l8PQq5mU&ab_channel=StevieNicksFan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAGAoy5WZWY
Good version of this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DxtsmaKCEs&ab_channel=FrankDietz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4x0fPZrPV3M
Always forget the actual title of this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwF_PRpy6yI
Multinational Eachotherfuckers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E7rUemfC-A&ab_channel=isaac8399
Irish potatofuckers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuDqHtAR6L8&ab_channel=U2
Norwegian fjordfjuckers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3ir9HC9vYg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ulU08Se7Qs
Fun fact: Nada Surf also has an album called “Never Not Together”.
Hadn’t heard of these guys before I saw them live; recorded version of this song doesn’t do it justice. It KILLED.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxtkgmdqnU4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siO6dkqidc4
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYjedww3fNo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saZVNLMMmmo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb3Bh7CDHXc
Solo algunas veces
puedo sentir
náuseas de ti.
Pero tú, mi amor,
siempre estarás
en mi riñón.
https://youtu.be/dHUtWtuh6w0
Babasónicos – Casi
https://youtu.be/Lu20Ia1Zzbk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJ-E5Z6tnX8
“A friend of mine asked if I could request this for him.” – Eli Manning
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WN0T-Ee3q4
The Never- ending Storeeee,eee ,eee,eee! I must have seen that a hundred times, my son loved it when he was little.
“Yeah, my, uh, friend loves it too. It’s pretty much his favorite movie.” – Elisha
One of the handful of OK songs by FF’s that were released after their incredible 2nd album
https://youtu.be/crjugtkXZN4
I suspect the only reason this hasn’t been requested yet is because Yeah Right is still at work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejU5YAHN3vQ
ANOTHER DOUBLE SHOT FOR RIKKI THIS IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHAgOnHq5mQ
You would be exactly right. Listened to this last night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Drwpw4d8DL8
I used to work with the sister of one of these girls. She was absolutely gorgeous, and the nicest kid.
https://youtu.be/JIuYQ_4TcXg
These aren’t embedding properly for me but I can’t imagine anyone posted this one yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=483ISyyey50
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JWTaaS7LdU
I would rather listen to Rick Astley….
How about the OG instead?
https://youtu.be/x0bEZH6ZqG4
I always forget about this and it makes me disappointed in my brain.
I like when Julianna Hatfield does Olivia Newton-John
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrUqHFKqCg4&ab_channel=JulianaHatfield-Topic
/darkens eyeliner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHHByAEP5Zc&ab_channel=66Cigarettes
Burt Bacharach wrote this because of course he did
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVrELhxOFnM&ab_channel=ChrysalisRecords
Someone had to do it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Dude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm6qw_yeo6o
Good one!
Better Beat..English or Bronski?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03Auw4hfZSI&ab_channel=paulska67
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M
Dollar Store James Bond!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_aJbGrgH-Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTZHHQplIX8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiczyhDwuBs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwNuQulK6N0
Do I win? I fucking win, damn it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsOWNVkBhU0
DOUBLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2bzrCCKDwc
TRIPLE SHOT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsJJNJh_gGI
HAHAHAHAHAHA
https://twitter.com/root_nomad/status/1497254180108570633
In Putin’s Russia, Pornhub fucks you!
That’s really mean. I like it!
My only objection is that it should allow them to watch one and only one video: a deepfake of Putin being plowed by someone in a clown costume.
Bucket O’ cold water comin’ thru
https://twitter.com/hickory87/status/1497290129949478915?s=20&t=mkPoyh8h4hN7hC_Gm-HPdw