Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

Don’t have much on me mind that hasn’t already been said. Fuck Putin. Fuck Covid.

Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts. Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.  

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“I bet 1500 total. I don’t have a gambling problem.”

-Cal Ridley

Benefit of the doubt-wise you might be right but idiot-wise you’re all-in.
scotchnaut

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Found a funny;

Reasons why people don’t want to return to offices:

-unpaid travel
-packing lunch
-the bear in the conference room
-dress codes
-the bear stole my lunch
-someone help
-my boss told me to take it up with hr
-it’s eating my sandwich
-code switching
rockingdog

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So Shell was getting their oil at a discount in price, yet still charges the same crazy-ass prices for gas as everybody else.

Big Petroleum is also pretty much the most taxpayer-subsidized industry we have in this country outside of defense. But they’re still bending us over at the pump and convincing morons to blame the same government that’s giving them free money for it.

The petroleum industry isn’t a market. It’s a racket.
Col. Duke LaCross

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Nevermind the Ginger Hammer, the Liga SecsiMexi Hammer does nae fuck about.

https://www.espn.com/soccer/mexican-liga-bbva-mx/story/4612434/liga-mx-queretaro-home-fans-banned-for-1-year-barras-get-3-year-ban-owners-must-sell-club
litre_cola

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Coupla thoughts–

NFL players shouldn’t be gambling BUT THE LEAGUE SHOULDN’T BE FUCKING PROMOTING GAMBLING

Fuck Pete Carroll

Fuck Q-Aron, i hope he gets run over by a convoy trucker and they both die

Fuck the return of business travel
BrettFavresColonoscopy

And now it’s time for the DraftBuzz third down measurement of the game brought to you by Sportsbet.net, the only place where you get 3 free bets everytime you deposit 50 dollars–and oh whats this, a MyLoanShark Breaking News report straight from the Payday Loan Advance business desk to tell you that 12 players have been suspended for the season for betting on games! What a disgrace, Jim!
herodotus450

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Solid punctuation talk. I hadn’t noticed Ridley’s bet with the world.
I think emojis also work as punctuation.

😢 – period
🍆 – colon
🔪 – !
Don T

DonT texts before a first date:

Hi [X]- I just wanted to firm up our date plans 😢 We have a couple of options to start🍆 dancing or drinks😢 Can’t wait to meet you🔪
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

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Let’s eat dad!

Let’s eat, dad!

Sometimes a comma saves a life.
borisnow

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WENTZ TO THE COMMANDERS HAHAHAHAHAHA
SonOfSpam

I heard he vetoed a trade to Seattle. He didn’t want to be that close to a needle.
Sharkbait

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Oh fuck. I forgot to mention that the movie poster for Crabs! is um, very suggestive. If you miss what it’s showing, you may be dead.

jjfozz

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Gumbygirl

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I also hate to threadjack, (unless I’m in San Diego), but the local news just told me that Jerry Jones is getting sued by a 25-year-old female Congressional aide.

No, not for that reason. She claims that he’s her father, that her mother agreed to keep quiet in return for a series of payments, but that she shouldn’t be bound by this agreement.

I need to get off my ass and get my computer replaced so I can write the series begging to be written and ‘JennielferDoe-Jones, New Dallas Cowboys Owner, Sponsored by Hallmark & Lifetime’
Horatio Cornblower

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I want to be more drunk but I don’t want to pay the price of feeling shitty tomorrow.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Agreed.

pours another
Mr. Ayo

 

Would it make you, and I, feel better if someone else is going through the pain along with us?

Cheers to a kick ass Request Line.

/cracks open beer number…..
yeah right

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Found a funny;

My 11 y.o. son just discovered Tetris. Came home to him boasting about scoring 15,000 points. Cracked my knuckles and played for the first time in 25 years. Dropped 73,000 points on his head. Now he’s angrily muttering to himself and I’m doing karate kicks on the front porch.
rockingdog

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LOL

rockingdog

Wow, I’ve never seen GAMBLOR before.
Mr. Ayo

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Attention everyone! Be on the lookout for a cheese thief, on the loose, potentially in your very own kitchen! He, or she, or it(!) is known to eat all your cheese and then somehow, magic perhaps, implant the fat around your midsection! There is no known defense at this time.
herodotus450

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Colony of 100k chinstrap penguins, one of the 3 species of penguins we saw. All 3 species are freaking adorable

Doktor Zymm

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I am home and no longer stuck in Argentina! Woohoo!

Still miss the penguins though, penguins are the best
Doktor Zymm

I was starting to worry about you! I figured you were manning anti-aircraft guns in Kyiv.
Gumbygirl

I figured her more as a, “Slip poison from a pen into the champagne glass of an arch-villain”, type-person but I’m like a real sophisticated dude and somesuch.
scotchnaut

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Cornell/Princeton has turned into a real library burner!
scotchnaut

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Woke up this morning after just six hours of sleep, feeling fine, no hangover. This seems suspicious. I can only assume I will pay for it for this afternoon.
Dunstan

You can tell Dunstan never checked into the parenting hotel. JUST 6 hours????
King Hippo

The Parenting Hotel is like the Hotel California — you can never leave.
Dunstan

And it’s advertising is very, very misleading, plus they hit you with a lot of hidden fees.
ArmedandHammered

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Lambeau doesn’t care for the Oilers-Lightning game.

Beerguyrob

Lambeau is a better option in goal than whatever Edmonton rolled out there.
litre_cola

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Last funny;

holding up a nudist colony with a t-shirt gun
rockingdog

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Local hockey team continuing the “let the opposing goalie get rusty so we can score later” strategy, now outshot 31-5 through 2 periods.
herodotus450

“Outshot through two periods”? I told you the Red Wings shouldn’t have signed that female goalie!

/this is a horrible joke. You’re welcome.
scotchnaut

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Redshirt

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Too late for Sexy Friday?

Redshirt

Apparently Redshirt wants to be more than 100 yards away from that “stupid damn school with all those sexy boys”.
scotchnaut

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I can’t tell you how many times I think about flouring up my meaty bits
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Watching women’s basketball right now. Incarnate Wood vs SE Louisiana for the Southland conference championship. I’ve never heard of either team, but at least the game has been tight.
TheRevanchist

(thinking)
DON’TMAKEAJOKEABOUTASSESDON’TMAKEAJOKEABOUTASSESDON’TMAKEAJOKEABOUTASSESDON’TMAKEAJOKEABOUTASSESDON’TMAKEAJOKEABOUTASSESDON’TMAKEAJOKEABOUTASSESDON’TMAKEAJOKEABOUTASSESDON’TMAKEAJOKEABOUTASSES
Redshirt

The team is actually called Incarnate Word, but I think Wood makes it more fun.
TheRevanchist

Wood makes a lot of things more fun
Doktor Zymm

This should be the slogan for ED medication. Forget the “weird outdoor bathtubs” commercials, just have a bare-chested guy sweating and chopping wood, and then cuddling up in front of the fire with his wife, while the voiceover guy says “wood makes a lot of things more fun.”
Dunstan

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Permanent DST is the worst idea ever, the only people who support it have the luxury of sleeping in or live in the southern part of the country.
Doktor Zymm

I’d hug you, but…[waves letter from HR instructing me not to do that anymore]
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Lol, I just noticed I have the banner!
Gumbygirl

We didn’t want to tell the others.
Dunstan

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WAIT! How did I not put this together before, but yeah right ran a Sunday gravy today called the Number 12. It’s his fault Tom Brady unretired today.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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March 13, 2022 8:04 pm
Huh, I got up to grab a bottle of wine, but forgot to grab the wine and cleaned some tack instead. I’m gonna have to try that again.
Doktor Zymm

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March 13, 2022 9:13 pm
Success! Managed to get wine from the other room without getting distracted by too many other things!
Doktor Zymm

Well done. You deserve a second glass to celebrate
Sharkbait

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BWAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHHA
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/33495979/source-minnesota-vikings-qb-kirk-cousins-gets-35-million-extension

AHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

AHAHHAHAHAHHAHA….. haha, ahhh

someone better check on yeah right and Drew
WCS

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Brady just pulled the ultimate troll job on the poor sap that bought his “last” touchdown ball….

“According to a Sunday report from ESPN, the ball that represents Brady’s last touchdown pass (for now) recently sold for $518,000, per auction site Lelands. Several hours after the story was posted, Brady announced his un-retirement. That would, of course, nullify whatever historic value that touchdown ball holds”
BeefReeferLives

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

NOTE banner image from here