Sanity Check – Monday Open Thread

A handsome but kinda off figure sits at the laptop, although less pudgy than before because he’s wearing a shirt that by last Xmas fit fine until you sat down and bent forward because the buttons tightened and OK that’s enough scene setting. He types:

Complacency is the enemy inside. Overall, the insight is that, whether in top athletics, the professional market, or any competitive field…

[deep inhale]

meeting objectives, achieving goals, and receiving honors, bonuses and recognition WILL make you a big headed sack of lazybones who will be devoured, digested and ultimately excreted as so much pestilent sludge by Those Who Want It More—unless you fight! Fight! Grind! Set higher goals and feed your own ambition like it were starving wolf that grows stronger and faster mentally, plus  more libidinous and willing than ever before but in the mental sense because gimme a break this is all about a mental connection and Latino ladies are clearly wrong crying out for pumps, pills or “whatever YOU gotta do to make me scream in ecst—”

[keys are jangled, dropped, “Fuck!” heard outside, door flies open eventually]

The Host: These fucking fingers, man. Tch, I’m just built wrong.

[walks too close to door frame, rips belt sleeve]

Right Wing Devil: I sent the stuff to the accountant.

The Host: Didja tell ‘em that because of the blackouts last week and today…

Right Wing Devil: Yes yes, thousands in business losses and grocery rot…

The Host: …the filing deadline for tax statements moved to April 25…

Right Wing Devil: …which includes the loss of the refrigerator, pinot noir humidor, and a paper shredder.

The Host: Um, este… QUÉ. Ok. [Gathering himself] Please don’t tell me Jackeline Marie died. [Unhinged hand gestures, switches instinctively to Spanish] No, no, nonono, no no

Right Wing Devil: Look at her!

Fright Wing Angel: If electricity come back and she finishes the job, great. Otherwise, we gotta fight some charges for blazers and velvet g-strings. But I’m claiming the Jackie Marie broke anyway because, hey, you lose nothing claimin’ and they gotta say no yo’ woooooo! [spins in office chair]

The Host: Git!

[Right Wing Angel gets up, The Host takes the laptop]

The Host: Oh, a propósito…

Right Wing Devil: Really. Do I deserve a swarthy ‘Oh, by the way”

The Host: Is there any food, or if it’s just tuna and green beans with soda crackers plus red peppers and asparagus and whatever other thing is in the pantry.

Right Wing Devil: Sigh.

The Host: ¿?

Right Wing Devil: I wanted to make paella. We have sardines, saffron, hotdogs and rice. But Left Wing Angel, cabrón, came back with some fresh tomatoes, basil and mozz.

The Host: Was it stolen?

Right Wiung Devil: [obviously lying] What do I care? [sobs]

The Host: Go pick up my laundry. [hands him ticket]. And [checks laptop], why am I a new contact to SugarMamCEOs on LinkedIn?

Right Wing Devil: [makes huge rack / arthritis hand gesture]

The Host: You know I’m taken. Don’t, ever. When is Left Wing Angel coming back?

Right Wing Devil: [points to meal in back porch]

The Host: Bof, I’ll take it.

Right Wing Devil: 🤬

The Host: If you see Angel, tell him good atonin’ but he can’t come home just yet.

Right Wing Devil: He called you a sellout. You want him home?

The Host: Good “pizza”. Get his bed ready after April.

[types]

NFL NEWS

Yeah, it’s dire.

SPROTS TONITE

All times Central. Summarized well before the blackout. As such, please excuse as the screen must act as lighting device for keyboard.

/sees if call for commiseration worked

//tumbleweed gif unavailable for cellphone

Whatever.

[puts on flip flops and takes 5 minute walk in the dark to the beach, hits POST

NHL

Winnipeg @ Montréal – 6:00

BEISBOL DE GRANDES LIGAS

Azulejos (Manoah) @ Y*nk*s (Taillon) – 6:05

Nacionales (Undecided) @ Bravos (Ynoa) – 6:20

Marineros (Flexen) @ Mellizos (Bundy) – 6:40

Marlins (Hernández) @ Angelinos (Lorenzen) – 8:38

Padres (Martínez) @ Gigantes (Wood) – 8:45

TOP FLIGHT FÚTBOL

Just the A List tonight. Completists and fans of animal pitch invasions can give espen a click:

Argentina (Copa Liga Profesional)

Lanús hosts Aldosivi – 7:30

Brasil (Serie A)

Juventude hosts Red Bull Bragantino – 6:00

Colombia

Deportivo Pasto hosts Deportivo Pereira – 7:40

Costa Rica

Sporting San José hosts Santos – 8:00

Ecuador

Aucas hosts Macará – 7:00

México

Pachuca hosts Tijuana – 9:00

Uruguay

Montevideo City Torque hosts Rentistas – 7:15

Women’s International Friendly

Canada hosts Nigeria – 9:30 (Starlight Stadium – Langford, BC)

~0~

I hate life. Lemme be the first to say “for now”. Have a good one.