Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.

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This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:

Reach for the moon. If you miss, at least you’ll be among the stars [in bed].
Norman Vincent Peale

Think this guy had a wet dream or two. Or wrote some erotic fan-fiction before it was even a thing. Or both.

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As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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THIS ARSENAL ATTACK I CALL IT ‘KYIV’, BECAUSE IT’S NOT WELL THOUGHT OUT AND IS DESTROYING THEIR REPUTATION!
Horatio Cornblower

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This was great! You should do this for Blair Witch Project next. [from jjfozz’s Defending The Witch (NOTE: Not My Mother-In-Law) post]
LemonJello

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The bankshot 3, the top weapon in the arsenal of every ficticious basketball player.
Don T

A running joke across several different pickup leagues I played in was that if someone hit that shot, someone else would call out, “Doesn’t count-you didn’t call it!”.
scotchnaut

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If “Commies” catches on in DC, that would be almost as good as Snyder going to jail.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

If Snyder does go to jail, he’ll be sentenced to 6 months of folding napkins in minimum security. He’ll outsource that to a fellow inmate for the promise of free upper deck seats when that dude gets out.

/He will renege on the agreement
scotchnaut

His prison sentence should be having to commute from the Vienna, VA to FedEx Field using only public transportation, sit under the broken sewage pipes for three hours, then return to Vienna, VA on repeat for five years.
WCS

I just want Snyder to sell the team or die so I can use this.

Redshirt

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WCS

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Getting ready to watch some NFL network, eat chicken & rice (a-roni), and go to bed. I can only do all three at the same time if the wife is not around. Something about “crumbs” and “bugs” and “I will shove that chicken leg up your ass!” I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention really.
TheRevanchist

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Avoiding shooting myself in the dick is why I wear Kevlar brand briefs. Most men simply do not pay close attention to their foundation garments.
2Pack

-Plaxico Burress
Senor Weaselo

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Found a funny;

Detective: cause of death
Coroner: too long in a sensory deprivation tank
Detective: that makes no sense
Coroner: i know what it does Dave
rockingdog

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I’ve always thought watching a man descend into madness would be interesting. [ Hippo’s live blog of Everton, part I ]

I am not disappointed.
ballsofsteelandfury

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One hundred years from now, American movies made in the 70’s and 80’s that feature lone individuals defeating corrupt government officials will be seen as slapstick comedy.*

*bookmarked for posterity
scotchnaut

I’m still hoping for a documentary about a lone individual assassinating Putin, preferably set in the next day or two
Doktor Zymm

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The whole concept of an implant bursting inside someone is horrifying [ from JJD’s Less than elite post], but I guess if saline implants got cold enough to freeze and burst you probably would be dead already, or at least be more worried about the severe tit frostbite
Doktor Zymm

I saw Severe Tit Frostbite play at Lilith Fair once.
Dunstan

Probably one of the best one tit wonder bands out there, tbh.
scotchnaut

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So….GoFundMe to raise the $50k for maestro to drink this [tomato juice and a pickled sheep eye hangover cure]?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Gumbygirl

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The only way I’d watch the Master’s was if they were filming ‘The Walking Dead’ on it.

As a documentary.
Horatio Cornblower

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Hooray for the newest Supreme Court Justice!

SHE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME, AND THAT’S PROGRESS!!!
SonOfSpam

Joker voice: “You send a hundred white men to the Supreme Court, Republicans don’t bat an eye because it’s all part of the plan. But if one, one black woman makes the cut, well than everyone just loses their minds!”
Redshirt

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DFO Rules

1) No Pants
2) No Math
Sharkbait

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(gets home from work; turns TV on)

Baseball Announcer: “I spend about 7 hours in a bathroom with Joey Votto.”

I don’t know whether to turn the TV off or turn the volume up.
Redshirt

Dim the lights and get some hand lotion.
SonOfSpam

That’s your answer to everything!
Redshirt

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I actually thought the name of the drink was “It’s In The Hole”.[ from the Master’s themed Cocktail of the week post]

What would such a drink contain? Hmmm…..
ballsofsteelandfury

If you’re making it for Tiger, a crushed percocet rim would be apt.
BeefReeferLives

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Found a funny;

The woke left strikes again

rockingdog

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Heh heh, “Mr. Pinkeye” was Eli’s nickname at summer camp.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

His long and arduous journey towards using bathroom tissue properly should not be ridiculed. Can’t believe you went there.
scotchnaut

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Just once I’d like for these dumb movies to have a superstar actor make a cameo out of nowhere…

Cheerleader: “This is crap! I’m going to see the guidance counselor!”

Secretary: “You can’t just bust into the Guidance Counselor’s office!”

Cheerleader: [busts into Guidance Counselor’s office] “I did a thing!”

Guidance Counselor: [it’s Daniel Day-Lewis] “I’m Going To Drink Your Milkshake!”

Cheerleader: [calls the police]

Director: CUT, CUT “Uh, anyone know who that guy was?”

Ray Liotta: “I have no idea.”
scotchnaut

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Greetings from Mlini, Croatia! I will be here for almost 24 hours, and will spend tomorrow walking around even if it is raining, as I brought a rainproof jacket.
Doktor Zymm

If you could somehow undermine the national soccer team while you’re there (Canada is in the same group for the World Cup) I could see myself buying you a sled dog ride.*

*hell, I’ll throw in a bag of ketchup chips
scotchnaut

And a Big Turk!!!
litre_cola

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/actual conversation with wifey this morning

Wifey: “I was thinking about driving to Sudbury and visiting with Deanna today.”

Me: “You’ve been working so hard and helping close family member with her health problems for so long, it’s about time you did something for yourself.”

Wifey: [reaches for my hand, squeezes it] “That’s such a sweet thing to say. I think I’ll go.”

Me: “A Popeyes fried chicken franchise recently opened on Notre Dame Avenue, could you pick some up on your way back home?” [ still want to know if she brought you home any]

Wifey: [tosses my hand away, laughs] “You’re such a dick!”
scotchnaut

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MIKE TOMLIN: Trubisky must be absolutely infuriated by what happened to Dwayne. Every pass I’ve seen him throw in the last half hour has hit a different car in the parking lot. It’s like he’s out for revenge or something.

STEELERS QB COACH: Um…we actually haven’t told him the news yet.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Where the hell is Rocking Dog for this performance [some lessor footy game]???
litre_cola

Must be out for a walk. Maybe a ride in the car if he’s been good.
WCS

Licking his…you know.
scotchnaut

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There are more bottom battles this week in the Prem than a long weekend at Buddy’s!
litre_cola

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Word up, fellow degenerates…

Whelp, it’s 3:30 AM out here in the PNW, so I guess that might just give you a clue about where my mind is at…

SO, I’m thinking that:

1) Genome analysis could be run on genetically similar psilocybin producing vs non-psilocybin producing mushrooms to determine what strand(s) of dna are responsible for producing silly-cybin

2) Use CRISPR-Cas9 editing to snip those strands, and then
3) Insert them into beer yeast as done previously – https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31280424/

So, a viable beer yeast that would also produce psilocybin. — WOO

(I suppose, for Hiippo, we might be able to do the same with the morphine and thebiane producing snippets of the poppy.. who knows)

Instead of taking the honor of the new variation on the strain, I would suggest it be
called p.spicoli

WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY, PEOPLE!!!

(very aware this might be the rantings of a madman, but hey..)
BeefReeferLives

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Barbecue chicken pizza, jalapeño poppers, and (free!) breadsticks ordered, and on their way. Fresh pot of coffee brewed. New pack of smokes on the table. Jim Nantz already irritating me.

It’s Sunday at Augusta!

/falls asleep seven minutes later
WCS

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Vegan cheese is an abomination to the Lord! Cast it out!

Gumbygirl

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Karma Points Update:

Wifey puts the ashes from the fireplace into a thick plastic barrel. Doesn’t make sense to me but she’s way smarter as to day-to-day things.[shrugs shoulders] Well, the embers re-ignited and burned thru the barrel so the house now smells like burnt plastic. When she gets back from her overnighter there will be questions.

/karma-wise, this day is gonna be a wash
scotchnaut

I can’t think of a specific instance but I know more than once the Dr. Mrs. has made some very questionable decisions from a fire-control perspective.

/this is coming from a guy who once managed to set a toilet on fire
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

this is coming from a guy who once managed to set a toilet on fire

Look, all of us have been featured on Hot Ones, it’s not a big deal.
scotchnaut

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Anybody want to hear a frying pan story? Okay here goes. When you marry someone from another culture, you end up seeing yours from a pretty unique perspective. My wife is the product of ’60’s -‘ 70’s modern post war Italy. The frying pans in those kitchens were light weight aluminum Teflon coated. So she never quite understood why the irate wives in America she saw in cartoons and TV shows chased hubby around with a frying pan. Why not some other more lethal kitchen implement, a knife or heavy water pitcher? Well a few years back I decided to get a good ole Lodge cast iron old school pan. This blog may have triggered that, can’t recall for sure. Anyway once she heafted that puppy… you could just see the understanding of her deep seated childhood questions being revealed. She literally blurted out “oh now I get it”. Not sure if that works for my long term good or not…
2Pack

Rolling pin is the #1 kitchen implement for husband correctin’
Don T

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Well… we can’t win ,em all. I have been wanting to give a black bean burger a try, so thanks for the heads up. I wonder if the store brought frozen ones are any better?
2Pack

They’re not. Anything pretending to be something it’s not is horrible.

That’s a life lesson right there.
ballsofsteelandfury

Looking at you Cauliflower.
litre_cola

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Pacific FC 2nd kit this year to raise money for indigenous folk on Vancouver island.

litre_cola

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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