At 2:55 on the dot, I walked out of the room and headed towards the pool. I like to be right on time. Not early. Not late. Right on time. If I show up exactly as Mickey’s hand hits the right spot, even better.

I’d called the front desk earlier and asked for a late checkout. The girl didn’t seem to care, so I got it without her trying to charge me extra. That felt like a good sign.

As I passed the now empty cabana, I wondered how often the hotel staff cleaned it. Well, really more like disinfected. I’m sure it was “cleaned” by housekeeping but there are some things you just can’t take away with a feather duster or a dry rag.

I looked at my watch. Mickey told me personnel were approaching from the right. Almost showtime.

Rölf was sitting in the exact same chair as before except this time he wasn’t coated in suntan oil. He had on a crisp white guayabera with matching white linen pants and flip flops.

“Good afternoon! How goes it?”

He looked up and smiled. “Hopefully good after I hear your good news!”

I hadn’t told him the news was good. Just that it was news. I sat down.

“About that. Let’s get a drink first.”

I snapped my fingers and George magically appeared. I’ve never understood submissives but hey, if it works for them, who am I to deprive them of their pleasure?

I looked at Rölf’s outfit and got inspired.

“George, can you please bring two mojitos? Actually, make that a mojito and a caipirinha. I trust your bartender knows the difference.”

George gave me a look that told me he didn’t appreciate that last remark. I wondered if he himself made the drinks. As he walked away, I made a mental note to ask him when he returned. Depending on the quality of the drinks, that might merit an extra tip.

“So what’s the news?”

“Relax, Rölf! We’ve got plenty of time. I’m not in a hurry. Are you?”

“No, but you said it was big.”

“Actually, wasn’t it Claudia that said that?”

“WHAT?”

He looked at me with wide eyes and a look of slight surprise. The smile quickly evaporated.

“Dude, you told me you hated avocado toast! I’m so disappointed.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Claudia. She likes avocado toast. She told me in México.”

“What were you doing in México? And who’s Claudia?”

“Really Rölf? Is that how you are going to handle this?”

Rölf had gone from a smile to a surprise to a frown.

“What is this?”

“This is you and me and a friend of mine making a deal that is a win win win. Interested?”

“Who is your friend?”

I grabbed my phone and hit SEND.

“Oh Rölfie, you know him quite well.”

Mark walked up from behind Rölf, grabbed a chair from a nearby table, and sat down between us. Rölf’s expression now drifted into fear territory.

“Rölfie, here’s the deal. You only get one crack at this, so don’t fuck this up. Remember you told me about a tape and that you thought it was related to Lara’s disappearance? Well, you were right. The only problem is that you didn’t tell me everything about that tape. You’ve been a naughty boy. Not about what’s on the tape. I actually liked that part and I say kudos to your performance. Seriously, nice job. You should do that professionally. I know a guy in the Valley. “

“Am I supposed to say thank you?”

“Not necessarily. Anyhoo, your co-stars in the tape, Claudia and Lara, were also excellent. Claudia followed me to México, presumably on your orders or by your request. Based on what I’ve seen, I’m assuming you’re her Master so maybe orders is right?”

George arrived with the drinks. I took a sip of the caipirinha. It was excellent.

“George, do you make these yourself?”

“Yes, sir.”

“This is excellent! Please bring a”

I looked at Mark.

“Root Beer”

“for my friend and get me a second caipirinha. Thank you. Chop chop.”

George walked away with a smile on his face. Rölf had not moved but was looking around nervously trying to figure out an exit strategy.

“Rölfie! You haven’t even heard my deal yet! Besides, my good friend is carrying, so you’re not going anywhere. Take a sip of your delicious mojito. George really is great, by the way. “

Rölf took a sip. Either the alcohol relaxed him or he realized he couldn’t escape, so he leaned back on his chair.

“Ok. Wanna tell me more? I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Whatever you say, Shaggy. Where was I? Oh right. Claudia. She wanted to know if I had learned anything. I hadn’t, so she left and came back here for some of that good German dick. Again, kudos.”

Rölf allowed himself a slight smile.

“What you and she didn’t know is that we (I pointed at Mark) know each other and ended up at the same shitty dive bar where Lara had a weekly appointment. The weekly appointment you knew about because you had Lara negotiating the deal to blackmail the Special Guest Star on the tape.”

“This is crazy! You must be drunk!”

“Not yet, but I probably will be later. I came back last night and saw you and Claudia going at it while watching the tape. Now here is the part where we get to the deal. Well, not quite. First I have to tell you that I know that Lara is not dead and that you hired me to find her so you could convince her not to betray you and Claudia. Not sure at what point there was a fight between all y’all but I do know there was a falling out. That poor girl the PSPD found must have given a hell of a Trump for the right price.”

“Huh?”

“Bear with me. We’re getting down to the nitty gritty now. In exchange for you taking care of my hotel bill, giving my friend any copies of the tape that may exist, oh and he already has one copy in his hands thanks to you helpfully leaving it in the machine. Were you in a hurry to go clean up in your room? Geez! Anyway, in exchange for that and paying me my fee plus a bonus of… let’s call it $6900 for shits and giggles for figuring this all out, we will let you and Claudia continue to enjoy this gorgeous desert paradise as if nothing happened.”

“And if I don’t take this deal?”

“Trust me, you want to take this deal. It works for everyone. Oh, and if you think you can hold on to a single copy of the tape and try your blackmail scheme again, or even worse release the tape, your beautiful world you’ve built up here will implode and it will all disappear.”

“You’re bluffing. You’ve got no proof of anything. If anything, you’re trying to blackmail me. What kind of private detective are you?”

“The kind that’s got friends in both high and low places. I’ll let you think about it while you finish your mojito. In case you doubt us, though, here’s a little something for you to consider.”

Mark opened up his coat to reveal the copy from the cabana that I’d retrieved in the middle of the night. Behind it was his service revolver on his shoulder holster.

“We’ve already got one copy. We just need you to give us any other copies, in whatever type of media they exist, plus the original. And again, we’re willing to look the other way and pretend this never happened so you can continue to enjoy this luxurious lifestyle and keep banging Claudia to your heart’s content.”

Rölf took a long pull from the glass. He was still trying to figure out if I was full of shit or if I really did have the means to follow through on my threats. He performed a thorough risk assessment and finally said, “Alright, you win. Nothing happens to harm my business and you stay out of my way?”

“Rölfie baby, I don’t know what business you’re taking about. But seriously, if you want I can call my friend and get you and Claudia on a set tomorrow.”

Rölf looked at Mark, “And your friend?”

“As long as you don’t do anything stupid like continue to look for Lara or try to blackmail anyone we know, everything’s kosher. We’re in Stanley Cup overtime. The whistles have been put away. “

Rölf snapped his fingers. George arrived in less than 30 seconds. He spoke with him quietly. We all sipped our drinks in silence until George returned with a tray upon which was a plate with a silver cover.

With a dramatic flourish, he opened the cover to reveal three flash drives, one SD card, two CDs, and a stack of hundreds. Mark and I split up the goodies.

“Are we done here?”

“I think so, Rölf. Are we good? Do we understand each other?”

“Yes. There’s always another stupid pervert out there.”

“There you go! That’s a way to be positive! Just don’t involve us, okay?”

“But what about Lara?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty suntanned head about her. I presume you’ll take care of her if she comes to you. We’ll take care of her if she comes to us. I doubt she will though. She wanted to disappear and she’s done a pretty good job of it.”

We all got up and shook hands. Mark and I walked out together to the parking lot.

“You good?”

“Yeah. We’ll keep an eye on him, of course, but I think he’s cutting his losses and will move on.”

“Me too. For his sake, I hope so.”

“Where are you headed?”

“Back home I suppose. I haven’t done laundry in forever.”

“Nice and boring. Enjoy!”

“Later!”

I waved goodbye to Mark, got in my car, and headed towards the highway. Once I got on the 10, I dialed the number.

“Bueno.”

“Buenas tardes. Es el güerito del otro día.”

“¿Quien?”

So much for making a first impression.

“Olvídelo. Por favor dígale a la Larita que no tiene por qué preocuparse pero que sería mejor que no regresara al desierto y que destruya el video. “

“No sé de qué estás hablando.”

I smiled.

“Éso es lo mismo que me dice mi novia. Adiós.”