Welcome back to the Beat! We forge ahead with the Shempions portion of our program with a second helping. This week’s bounty to be hunted, or what they’re calling the gatekeeper, is Lock-Jaw.

In terms of the history of combat robotics, Donald Hutson’s name would be littered across the book. Tazbot, the rotating lifting axe bot looked cool and was pretty successful, being in my mind one of the three best heavyweight robots to not win a Giant Nut in the Comedy Central era. (The others BTW would be Voltarc/Voltronic and OverKill.) His heavyweight, Karcas 2, swept through the 2004 NPC Charity Open, a BattleBots event. It’s not a Giant Nut but it’s a championship all the same. Root Canal followed that up 5 years later by finishing second in the 2009 Pro Championship to Paul Ventimiglia’s Brutality (aka the current Perfect Phoenix). And I’ve of course left out his best-known robot, the two-time super heavyweight champion Diesector. Combined with all the non-competition and rumble Nuts won, the man’s had a decorated trophy case. Lock-Jaw hasn’t had quite the same vaunted highs as those bots, but it’s been a strong competitor in its own right, making the Season 3 semifinals in part springboarded by victory in the inaugural Desperado Tournament and the Giant Bolt that came with it. A Season 4 quarterfinal appearance only validated it further, as did winning last year’s bounty over Beta, a bounty that you could have argued should have been Lock-Jaw’s from the get-go.

So, about the octet of bots angling to take down the legend, onto the fights!

Double Jeopardy vs. Ribbot
Double Jeopardy: Did not compete in 2021, last appearance 2019 (1-2, did not qualify for tournament)
Ribbot: 3-0, #2 seed; lost to Hydra in round of 32

Well, here’s your 1-8 matchup in this bracket. Double Jeopardy didn’t appear in the regular season, and didn’t appear last year. But they’ve been working hard to make the lone cannonier in the field actually semi-viable. Like, multiple shots, and a camera to act as their scope. The multiple shots are a 5 lb. slug with two 2.5 lb. ball bearings.

Meanwhile, Ribbot was the 2 seed this season, going 3-0 and winning all three fights by KO. Which is how you get the #2 seed. It got upset by Hydra, which is still, you know, a brand name. For this fight the frog’s got the undercutter on since it offers more armor against that cannon.

Double Jeopardy didn’t immediately fire, as Ribbot waited to charge, each forcing the other to make the first move. Ribbot slowly covered the distance, head on, so the cannon had no choice. Double Jeopardy fired and took off the whole foam frog. Which looked awesome, but it was the foam frog. Not the metal armor parts. So then Ribbot mauled the front wedge. And then the side armor. And the other side armor. And the wheels through the side armor.

And waited to see if the count was over. It wasn’t, so one more hit from Ribbot sealed it and took off I don’t even know what.

Ribbot wins by KO in 1:18.

Slammo! vs. Malice
Slammo!: 1-2, did not qualify
Malice: 1-2, lost to Skorpios in 32-seed play-in

The big question in this fight is, will either and/or both bots be able to overcome their usual technical gremlins? For Malice, it’s been the weapon. It’s powerful, yes, but unreliable, normally dying after a couple hits—the only one where it stayed working throughout the full three minutes was the fight against Blacksmith, which was enough to vault Malice into the play-ins, though with an absolutely awful matchup which went as expected. For Slammo!, it seems that the ol’ Danby curse popped back up this year, though not to the extent as in years past, as the robot moved this year. It is the same bot as SlamMow! from last year, just sans Mowbot sponsorship.

Slammo! had its less massive claws up top, probably for a heavier plow, and a larger rear wheel, for mobility. Malice had the red bar—not its disk, and not Rolling Blackout, which is the black bar. Not sure the name of this one.

It wasn’t a true box rush, but Slammo! used its wedge to flip Malice over, and then again to get M on the wall. But the wedge had issues coming down (the chain was slipping according to Craig Danby). This meant Malice could get under the plow and snipe a wheel.

Eventually the wedge came back down and Malice plowed into Slammo!’s plow and ALMOST DID THE THING AGAIN. You know the thing, where Malice ended up on its back twice last season. But the tail did its job, barely, as Malice flipped back over. Somehow Slammo! on one wheel was still mobile, still feeding its plow to M as it somehow drove straight enough to count as mobile.

Malice went up the wedge and Slammo! took it for a ride, but the wedge once again was not coming down as the chain kept slipping. That led to Craig Danby trying to spin the bot around for defensive maneuvers, buuuut right into Malice’s weapon to take out the other wheel. Props to Craig Danby for being able to drive on one wheel. But driving with no wheels? Fight over.

Malice wins by KO in 2:34. They get to fight Ribbot next.

Pain Train vs. Shatter!
Pain Train: 0-2, did not qualify
Shatter!: 2-0, #12 seed, lost to Riptide in round of 32

It’s the battle of the Verrazzano! Staten Island’s Team Shreddit’s done great in the beetleweights, but the heavyweight’s had, among things, major traction issues in its two seasons. Meanwhile, Shatter! had a solid 2-0 regular season, and the Mary Special did its thing when we saw it against Blacksmith, but they ran into the surprising Riptide in the first round.

Pain Train actually had traction and was getting pops on the ablative armor and wedgelets on Shatter! early on. Until the drum died, and then Shatter! could fire the hammer, over and over again.

Pain Train was still moving to try and push, as the top armor was game now, unlike what we had seen against Yeti when it got picked apart. Not that there weren’t still marks and sparks, as the pulverizer came down for double hammering. Much of the latter two-thirds of the fight was this, as Shatter! climbed on top in the final seconds, which is why this fight went to the buzzer and the judges. But hey, Pain Train lasted the full three minutes.

Damage: Weapon going out is more than wedgelet, so 3-2 Shatter!
Aggression: I’ll go 2-1 Shatter!
Control: Once Shatter! survived the opening 20, it was all Shatter! 3-0

To the surprise of absolutely no one, it’s Shatter! by unanimous decision. That’s it for Pain Train. Evan Arias and crew are planning on a 250 lb. version of their prized beetleweight, Shreddit Bro, a two-wheeled eggbeater, for next year.

Deep Six vs. HUGE
Deep Six: 1-2, did not qualify
HUGE: 2-1, #28 seed, lost to Uppercut in round of 32

Let the big boys fight!

Deep Six is the reason why weapon weights are reduced to 80 lbs.. Meanwhile, HUGE is the original meta-breaker that Mammoth and Deep Six have striven to overtake. But HUGE is the one who’s made the tournament this year, even if there haven’t been any deep runs. (Okay, Mammoth was an alternate.) They definitely have the mobility advantage, but Deep Six is just Uppercut but more so, as Jonathan Schultz put it.

The bots spun their weapons up and Deep Six got the first hit to send HUGE spinning. Deep Six tried to go towards the wheels, and for a time, Deep Six actually got stuck in HUGE’s Tegris wheels as they kept popping HUGE up. It might have worked as HUGE was spinning in a circle more than forward. Meanwhile a chain or something was missing from somewhere, whether one of H’s rubber bits or a weapon belt.

Deep Six was able to push into HUGE around and to the pulverizer. It looks like that was a weapon belt, and probably HUGE’s, as it wasn’t spinning. As opposed to the wheels, which were only spinning and not in the good way.

After all of it, it went to the judges as it was a good fight but we definitely were missing things from it, apart from the one hit that send HUGE high in the air. It seemed like a letdown, and that one hit was basically all we got.

Deep Six wins by unanimous decision. They fight Shatter! next.

Malice vs. Ribbot

Malice returned with its standard horizontal disk, Big Red. Ribbot with its vertical configuration to try and counter.

There was no real box rush, but Ribbot was definitely the aggressor, quickly flipping and bouncing Malice around. And from that initial push, Malice’s drive was a little gassed and the weapon also wasn’t spinning as fast as it finally stopped, as Ribbot continued to try and push Malice around from the back. Or was Ribbot’s weapon also not spinning as well, and that’s why it was pushing? Whatever it was, the frog was doing the lion’s share of the work either way, pushing Malice around.

Ribbot continued to have Malice in the short corner throughout as Ribbot’s weapon came back to life in the dying seconds. David Jin, captain of Ribbot, confirmed post-fight that the weapon was fine, but as that initial push and Malice’s weapon dying pretty much assured they had this one, they turned off the weapon to save it. After all, two fights down now, but still two to go—the winner of Deep Six and Shatter!, plus Lock-Jaw.

Ribbot by unanimous decision. Fun fact, this does end Ribbot’s KO streak—they had never won a fight by decision before this one.

Deep Six vs. Shatter!

IMO Deep Six’s biggest problem has been bots that have mobility. We saw what happened against Minotaur as the bull charged in and pretty much ended the fight before it began. Shatter! doesn’t have the same pure speed as Minotaur, but they have plenty of mobility with the omniwheels, though, so this could be a challenge.

There was frame damage to Deep Six to repair after the HUGE fight, and more importantly very little top armor. This could also be a problem for Deep Six, but it has one punch power. Which is why, I assume, no Mary Special on Shatter!. They went with their standard hammer.

The bots moved in to engage, and Shatter! just missed its target, Deep Six’s armor. This was a problem as instead they were hitting weapon to weapon, and a hammer arm is not going to win that exchange. To the point where Shatter! was doing aerial flips and getting air combo’d by Deep Six. Not quite wombo combo’d.

And then finally crazy physics ensued as both bots kept spinning. Deep Six kept gyroing and Shatter! hit it mid-gyro again on the weapon, sending both bots to opposing corners. (Honestly at that point, was that the plan? I can’t believe that that would have been the plan.)

Shatter! believed they were stuck on the floor, but that would still be a count out. They tried to hammer away to release themselves from whatever they might have been high-centered on, but to no avail. I mean, I would have thought their slow movement counted regardless, but apparently not. Deep Six was willing to hit it more if need be and do more interesting physics equations.

Eric Wrigley was not happy about the count though it would have probably delayed the inevitable as the weapon arm was bent and the hammer head somehow hanging on (which Adam Wrigley was very proud of), but Deep Six gets the upset and wins by KO in 2:29, in the on-paper upset of the night. They get Ribbot in the final.

Deep Six vs. Ribbot

One of these bots was heavily favored to be here. The other, maybe a bit of a wild card. Deep Six has that big punch power and it’s worked so far with a decision win over HUGE and KO over Shatter!. Ribbot hadn’t really had to work too hard in wins against Double Jeopardy and Malice, and went with the undercutter to try and get under the gyroscoping movement of Deep Six.

Deep Six spun up as Ribbot tried to flank, nearly gyroing the big vert over. Deep Six came forward enough to take the foam frog off and prevent Ribbot coming to the side, as there was one-wheel driving. Ribbot doubled back, looking for an opening as Deep Six used the wall as a defender against the flank, but Ribbot eventually got around and got their big hit in, though they lost a wheel in the process. But what’s a wheel when Deep Six was in the screws? And Ribbot was able to follow up and take off one of Deep Six’s wheels as a result. Ribbot’s a four-wheeled bot, Deep Six has two, so wheel for a wheel goes to the frog.

Deep Six gyroed around some more to try and have forward movement and Ribbot remained on guard, looking for an opening but not engaging, expecting a count-out. It was worth it because Deep Six couldn’t quite move, having one wheel and all.

Ribbot wins by KO in 2:49 and goes on to face Lock-Jaw. Props to Deep Six, they beat a pair of tournament bots, and if this is the curtain call for now, whatever Dustin Esswein does next should have something to live up to.

Oh, yeah, Deep Six was apparently rejected for Season 7 due, I’d wager, to continuously fucking up the BattleBox. I mean, this robot is already the source of a weight limitation to the weapon, so its legacy will live on forever regardless. But with a run like this we’d otherwise be excited to see the massive vert’s follow-up. Rats.

Golden Bolt Qualifier
Ribbot vs. Lock-Jaw
Lock-Jaw: 0-3, did not qualify

David Jin is 23. Donald Hutson has been competing for 25 years, since 1996. So there’s your youth vs. experience for ya.

The undercutter returns for Ribbot to try and take out Lock-Jaw’s lifting forks and tires. Lock-Jaw will have the plow in the back along with the front forks, to take down both options.

Lock-Jaw came in plow first as it’s done against so many powerful spinners, though looking at it the plow seemed smaller than usual. Maybe because of that smaller plow, Ribbot could get to the front and flip Lock-Jaw over and start slashing at the tires.

And believe it or not, that was it. In almost no time at all, Lock-Jaw had multiple flats. Possibly even four flats.

Ribbot wins by KO in 1:02 and moves onto the Golden Bolt Tournament. For Lock-Jaw, it’s a surprising 0-4 season, even if against high-tier competition. I mean, Copperhead, tourney bot, round of 16. HyperShock, we just saw what they could do last week. Blip, quarterfinalist. Ribbot, 2 seed. Lock-Jaw’s still a good bot, and the guy behind the sticks is still with the best of them. I’d expect some tweaks next year to maybe slightly overclock the motors less because they kept going up in smoke, and maybe some changed to the tire compounds to prevent what just happened?

That does it for this week. Next week’s crop of wannabe champions get to fight to take on one of the three Miami slam machines, Rotator. See you then!