Your Five(!) Game Afternoon Slate of NFL Football Open Thread

Heavens be! It’s nice to have a choice in America these days, isn’t it? (I’ve said too much)

To The Games!

Falcons/Rams:

If Stafford and Co. don’t bounce back in a big way vs Atlanta the football (as opposed to pearl) clutchers will be out in full force. But they’ve too much talent for that to happen, right? I really can’t see the Falcons doing anything more than rolling over and exposing their big, fat, white bellies though.

Seahawks/Niners:

Seattle is 1-0, that oughtta melt your steel beams for sure. We’ll actually get to see what sort of team San Fran actually is-that game in the slop last week was an indicator of nothing. They’ll not be at full strength yet because The Brittle One is still out.

Bengals/Cowboys:

Them durn Jones Boys (courtesy of their own incompetence) have sponsored a limited run of the Hanging With Mr. Cooper show! I’m actually curious to see how each of these teams deal with last week’s unfortunate events. The guess here is that Cincy gets the W because the Cowboys O will be out of sorts, having to adjust to Rush’s limitations.

Texans/Broncos:

Here’s hoping that Hackett hired an End Game Strategery Coach first thing last Monday morning. Coaching not to lose is what it felt and looked like to me. Houston isn’t expected to win much but last week they found that sweet spot in that they didn’t lose. It’s a start.

Cards/Raiders:

What to make of these two teams after last week? Not much. Both squadoos have tons of talent on both sides of the ball but couldn’t get it together. Try to figure this out-Arizona has lost 6 of their last seven games and yet is 12-5 on the road over the last two seasons. Davante was targeted 17 times last week, nice knowing ya, Cards cb’s.

Push some buttons.

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Gatoraids

Kingsbury was the one that hacked the GTA6 leak so he could let Murray play it

blaxabbath

Give Kliff Kingsbury ANOTHER extension.

King Hippo

A “call stands” to Draw, a “call stands” to win. WOW

King Hippo

Almost a full DeSean Jackson. ALMOST.

Redshirt

Way too close for comfort.

Downfield Matriculator

Watching these teams try to hand each other the game for the last hour has been interesting — Raiders just wanted it less!

Gatoraids

Raiders part of the revamped Las Vegas tourism campaign to prove that Vegas doesn’t always win.

Last edited 1 year ago by Gatoraids
King Hippo

Does Renfrow also have Uncle Jack hands?

Redshirt

That’s one way to lose the game.

Mr. Ayo

That’s his Raiders!

King Hippo

Good God. I can’t even imagine how that one must have felt.

blaxabbath

The safeties, for the record, were supposed to be Arizona’s best defensive unit.

King Hippo

Christ and Sonny Jeebus, what entropy.

blaxabbath

Fumbling bumbling Raiders WOOOOO

fleshwound_NPG
blaxabbath

Should have lead with the helmet.

Redshirt

That’s not a catch?

fleshwound_NPG

hollywood brown got megatron’d

King Hippo

Hollywoo Brown, still can’t catch.

blaxabbath

They will drop the ball in in Post effects editing.

LemonJello

After that shot to the ribs, he probably can’t catch his breath right now.

blaxabbath

– Guy next to the cop who shot killed noted traitor Ashlii Babbit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Raiders won’t see the ball again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean, like, they’ll *see* it, but it will be flying past them on its way into a Cardinals receiver’s hands as they casually drive down the field for a touchdown.

fleshwound_NPG

neither one of these coaches should ever see a ball again