This wacky season continues unabated. Double doinks, questionable decisions made by coaching and medical staffs, ex-players showing their wares during swim time-this season has it all and there’s certainly more to come!
Fallout:
-Your guy Javonte Williams is done. Were you sneaky enough to get his (Gordon) handcuff? [raises hand] I sure hope his work split with Mike Boone comes in around 70-30 but who the hell knows with Nate Hackett?
-Cordarrelle had a knee thingy done first thing Monday and was put on IR. I believe that puts him out for 4 weeks minimum so I’m thinking it was a scope maybe? The team is being hush-hush on that front. Kudos to you if you took a flyer on rook Tyler Allgeier-he’s been averaging 5.9 yards per touch. Beware of a certain Caleb Huntley though. He was signed off the practice squad and split carries with Tyler.
-It was super unlikely at the start of the season but Detroit has to be that team that you don’t cheer for but that you want to see play because you know you’ll see fireworks. They’ve scored the most points in the league so far-their 141 outpaces the Chiefs (129) by a significant margin. So step up and take a bow, guy I’ve never heard of before, (Ben Johnson) you’ll no doubt be mentioned as a hot commodity once the year-end firings are announced.
-Why are the Broncos, (-0.29) Bengals (-0.29) and Bucs (-0.33) struggling? Are “B” teams cursed? No, that number beside their names are their respective Expected Points Added per run play. They can’t run so they can’t set up play action so the O is struggling.
To The Game!
Rams/Niners:
-LA has lost 6 straight regular season tilts to their NFC West opponents.
-Them Rams running game is struggling (so is Akers) to the tune of 72.3 yards a game. Yes, this is a passing league but some semblance of balance is necessary in order to score points.
-Keep An Eye Out: He’s not gonna set the world on fire but Ben Skowroneck-a wr at 6’3″, 220 pounds-played fullback in certain situations last week and told media more plays have been put in this week. Highlights show him leaking out of the backfield uncovered a few times-should be interesting to watch.
-Cupp has not done well vs the Niners, averaging a mere 4.7 catches and 51 yards during the regular season.
-Goff’s 2nd favorite pass catcher this year? It’s Tyler Higbee-he has one less target than Robinson and Skowronek combined.
Enjoy the tilt.
Can you tell I’m not watching the game?
https://twitter.com/ashleyfeinberg/status/1577096239341936640?t=kmYT-L1QpPCHkatgKm3Chg&s=19
Manning Bros should have Antonio Brown on.
https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1576187447607697409
His staff hates him
https://twitter.com/RonFilipkowski/status/1577097128391847936?s=20&t=JDSU2tzsgmONbCJi-kDLPQ
Spur beat me to it something something Blair witch something something
No good when you tear ALL the Ls
https://twitter.com/thedailybeast/status/1577074034289758208?s=20&t=JDSU2tzsgmONbCJi-kDLPQ
Of all the reasons Herschel Walker won’t be elected, that is not one
https://twitter.com/iamgabesanchez/status/1577111234511413250?s=20&t=JDSU2tzsgmONbCJi-kDLPQ
“But her shemales!”
-H. Walker
Please don’t start new talking points for them
Somebody make Boomer(s) retire, ffs
Folks
This is my first time having uncured pork jowl bacon and I’m on the fence about it. It is VERY salty, and the smoked flavor is also maybe a bit stronger than I would prefer. But also, it is bacon.
The Matron Saint is looking pretty frisky tonight.
Her texts are spicier than usual too.
https://twitter.com/PFTCommenter/status/1577108608847708161?t=W00byKRWhazFIifpJGaiVA&s=19
Nothing better than watching an idiot on the field get blown up.
Kinda mean calling Tua an idiot, but technically that’s probably true now.
I thought the politically correct term was “imbecile”?
https://twitter.com/BarstoolBigCat/status/1577109157203017728?s=20&t=JDSU2tzsgmONbCJi-kDLPQ
These gender revels are getting out of hand
Flipped on Kevin Harlan for the streaker call. Pretty good!
Bobby Wagner has had enough of your protester crap
Wow, they fucked that dude up!
Someone give Stafford a twinkie, he clearly isn’t fat enough to play well
Played in a money game today. Hit the ball like shit and I was down $20 through fifteen holes. Ended up winning $20 by birdieing three straight to close the round after doubling the bet.
It’s bourble time!
You mean Whack Fuck?
https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/otihn6/a_game_of_wackfuck/
That’s what the first fifteen holes were. Couldn’t hit water if I fell out of a fuckin’ boat today.
“Deebo is my favorite player in the league now.” (except for every single player on the Cowboys)
-T. Aikman
No Manningcast for you?
I switch back and forth.
Deebo typed in IDDQD before that snap.
Deebodown!
/thanks to some atrocious tackling by the Rams
I need 15 points between Kupp and Akers. I can’t let our resident Russian beat me.
A
Name me a bigger, funnier dork than Eli! I bet you can’t!
Love the manningface when they are analyzing plays, reminds me of looking at the deadlights.
Just remembered I need to cook a whole bunch of bacon tonight. However, I am hungry now and bacon takes a while so I will also have some microwave popcorn.
An ancient ancestor of this:
You have the pork and snack foods from the bottom of the food pyramid, now you just need entries from the alcohol and dessert food groups to finish it off (and yes, I am aware I am mashing together 50 years of dietary messaging)
That’s good hustle!
.
Eli manning’s unrelenting roasting of his brother will never not be funny.
Also this
Those pants sure are turquoise! I see I have missed 10 points worth of scoring, so not much
Pizza has been ordered. Time to focus on drinking.
I ordered too, but hey, I made a salad! I am completely baked, that’s really all I can do. This preroll is the stuff.
Lookit all that disrespect with all these jerseys untucked. How. Dare. They.
Everyone’s running stairs after the game.
“Wait, we’re allowed to run up the stairs now?” – Eli Manning, excited about the prospect of violating one of the household’s most sacred rules
“Put the scissors down first” — Olivia
Paul Tagliabue is fumbling in his grave.
Correction:Paul Tagliabue is still alive, but I’m sure he’s upset.
Hillary Swank chose to make that show rather than cameo on cobra kai.
My win probability jumped up 2%!
Elis room needs portable kid railings to keep him at bottom of stairs
Who says that women aren’t well-represented in important positions in the NFL? Every time there’s a timeout I see at least one female run out onto the field with a water bottle, offering life-giving liquid to the warriors on the pitch.
I know it’s a broken record but I’ll never understand espn win probability. I was at 1% when the rams had the ball now it’s jumped up to 12%. Like… huh?
Win probability is a stat that works better after the fact than live, like Leonard Little’s BAC
Kudos for not reaching for the easy Britt Reid reference there and bringing historical NFL player inebriation into it. I look forward to your next Art Donovan joke!
It’d be a pain in the ass, but I think it’s complete trash and would love to run the numbers out to prove it. Pretty much any game in the NFL is a coin toss until at least halftime, and one-score games are basically 50/50 until the final whistle.
I wish It was just the usual games. I’m describing the fantasy app. I’m clinging to a four point lead and I’m going against 2 starters
I was going to say Aaron Judge was the all-time single-season biracial home run leader but it turns Mark McGwire was 15% Ugandan.
So went to a wedding yesterday. Really low key affair, but they had a taco bar.
They had steak tacos, chicken tacos, beef tacos and shrimp tacos.
I stopped counting how many I ate when I just started pouring the rice over all of them.
My stomach is still upset, but it was worth jt
Much better than the mid chicken or fish option at alot of weddings. Might put the dance floor in danger, More wedding should go buffet or self serve
made 4.5 lbs of shredded steak for my weeks taco needs.
My god. You know a party is legit when the flat top grille comes out. Those folks did it right.
I attended an outsider art play lampooning “The Song of the South” with the NFL and the main character was Jimmy Sharecroppalo
How many black quarterbacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all use renewable energy according to preeminent USC sociologist Dr. Todd Boyd.
Christ almighty my fantasy lead ain’t gonna last one drive.
I said the same thing when I kidnapped Pam Grier
You’ll never guess which type of device in the Deadly household just wore out.
Solar powered Coffee cup
Maybe just bring it into the shop? Sounds like it just needs an oil change.
Something in this neighborhood?
I didn’t know binge drinking and Tim Russert’s Ghost was a device
Lemon Zester? I told you you should have bought an extra when they were on sale!
Ha ha, fooled you. It was the vibrating anal beads I use to cheat at chess and poker.
Electronic straw, why suck when technology can do it for me.
Like an iron lung
The mighty vibe?
Waffle iron because no one has the patience to actually use those things?
There has been a change of the guard in Pittsburgh. The only time his entourage blocks the bathroom is when Mitch has to take an I.C. Light shit
Uncle Ed used to say that he missed the halcyon days of the Rama with Sam Bradford and Jeff Fisher. He’d also say that he didn’t know what halcyon meant.
Not sure the commentariat wants to hear this but there’s another Mandatory! London tilt this Sunday again.
But its a long weekend
49ers 20 – 17
Goddess Queen Empress Suzy picks Rams 27-21.
She can smote me where I stand but that score seems high.
I’m just glad to see a Pacific Islander get their brain scrambled and not end up at 924 North 25th Street
Good Tupperware coulda kept it fresh for weeks!
Had to look it up to be sure.
It’s a joke for the esoterica lovers
What’s the difference Buddy Cole and Tua?
I’ve only gotten brain damage from a cougar sitting on top
If it’s any consolation to Tua I don’t remember most Thursday night games either
Not Goff. It’s Fatthew! But I’m sure Goff would like Higbee too. I know I do!
Grrr. I’ll leave my stupid mistake in there.
Leave it, that way I can be sure you’re not just another computer in my simulated world.
What about PeyPey
The Peybot 6000? He’s almost like real.