To The Games!
Steelers/Bills:
Not sure if this is true but a sports talkin’ guy said that Pitt hasn’t been a 14 point dog in a game since 1968. Pitt’s O is ranked 30th overall so I doubt they’ll be able to keep up to Josh & Co.
Chargers/Browns:
Does Herbert like playing on the road? Today he’ll be trying for his 8th straight 300 yarder on foreign soil. He’ll likely get there as Cleveland is giving up an average of almost 8 yards a play in the 4th quarter. Makes it a bit hard to close out games, that.
Texans/Jags:
“From Worst to First: The Story of the 2-2 Jacktown Jaguars” doesn’t really have a good ring to it, I don’t know what to call this three hour-long documentary I made. My oh-so ‘sneaky’ fantasy pick of Davis Mills should give you some idea of what a dumb putz I can be, given the right conditions.
Bears/Vikings:
Minny is a quiet 3-1 currently. “Quiet”, for me in that when I think of good teams in the NFC the Vikes don’t come to mind. Perhaps when they get to 4-1 I’ll have to revisit my thinking. Poor Justin Fields-he’s getting sacked on almost 25% of his dropbacks.
Lions/Pats:
This doesn’t seem like a high-scoring game but Detroit will make it happen somehow. More correctly, their cornerbacks will make it happen. Zappe gets his first start and I’m actually pulling for his unprepared ass.
Seahawks/Saints:
C’mon Geno, you can do it again! Maybe he’s just a good player whose career got derailed? He was a 2nd round pick that blew out his knee. There, I’m convinced.
Fins/Jets:
Zach was lousy for 3 quarters last weekend and then put it together in the 4th, going 10-12 for 128 yardos. He’s the one that made that unlikely upset happen.
Falcons/Bucs:
Welcome to the big leagues, Tyler Allgeier-another rook gets his first start. He’ll be helped by an o-line that is surprisingly ranked 2nd overall in runblocking by the nerds at PFF.
Titans/Commies:
Outside of Puerto Rico and Tennessee, is there anyone watching this snore-fest?
Enjoy the games.
/Everton stream is off
//I TOLD ME SO
Disappointing Everton is legit lucky United needs 10000 chances to score goals otherwise this would be 5-1 now
VelveetaDOWN
Ah, NFL announcers. The folks who always insist on saying “National Football League” instead of “NFL,” yet are now fond of saying “RPO” every chance they get.
whenever vikes fans do that chant
Men Untied absofuckinglutely dogwalking us now. Gruesome.
Halftime of the Bills game: Josh Allen is projected to throw for [whips out abacus] [squints at number] 696 yards.
niiiiiiiice
With his arm he could probably do that with fewer than 10 more completions.
Kenny Pickett… yes he can… Kenny Pickett… yes he can
Ronaldo passing the ball to his fellow-countryman makes me think that the Portuguese are…(whips off sunglasses)…on a roll.
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
we might be living in a time where all three yinzer sports teams are bad and/or fail to make the playoffs
Given that he’s getting open so easily, Shakir’s hips do lie.
Does his pay taxes? Because hers were (allegedly) lying about that at least.
Again, the hot should NOT HAVE TO PAY TAXES
Cunty McCunterson on for Men Untied, will he score a brace or full hattrick?
Elon’s hot takes on twitter, in regards to international relations and various wars makes me wonder if this isn’t a distraction from his original dumb ass hot take of offering $44 billion for twitter and he needs to discretely liquidate large amounts of his net worth without causing investors to short his various over valued companies.
Thank you for joining my TedTalk.
it is
Since 2016 he’s learned that manipulating idiots is much less work than inventing (or, being adjacent to the inventors, at least) rockets and electric cars.
SHAKIRADOWN
/Scotchy almost always rite
The CBS broadcast listing off the Hispanics of Football including a pic Aaron Hernandez seems a bit…questionable.
Say what you will about the Patriots, (and I have and will continue to do so), but they have the second-best throwbacks in the NFL, right behind Tampa Bay’s Gay Bruce.
liked them much better too cuz then they were bad and starting guys named Grogan
I had a Steve Grogan jersey when I was a kid. Fortunately my aunt had given me a Leroy Jordan Cowboys jersey first. If it was the other way around I’d have been one of those obnoxious Patriots fans. Instead I’m a fan of America’s Team, the Dallas Cowboys.
We’re quite popular and everybody loves us.
With that foam roll on his neck!
My dog was playing with my son the other day and hurt his paw landing on it wrong after jumping for a toy. He’s still limping today, and I find myself trying to explain to a fellow middle-aged male that when we get hurt these days it is best to take the extra day off.
I also made grilled salmon for lunch and let him split the skin with the cat in the hope that the fish oil would help his arthritis.
I had to carry my 60+ lb lab home from the park, uphill for about 4 blocks, when he sprained his doggy wrist playing with a tennis ball. After that, he would pretend limp when he wanted attention!
Oh my God! You are trooper. I had to carry my 17 lb dog about the same distance after she got a beesting on her paw and I didn’t get up from the couch for three days.
It was a hot and humid Birmingham summer day. I don’t know that I’ve ever been sweatier in my life. But Bear was a good boy, and he was hurting.
I turn on the DFO Derby between United and Everton and the Reds are already losing? What the fuck?
Onana made Casemiro his bitch, Wobes converted on the break
aaaannnnnnddddd sound back on RedZone. FUCKING EVERTON
Fucking disappointing Everton.
FTFY.
Is there a Red Zone channel for Lesser Footy? Seems like a lot of time to fill.
“Well, it’s been 30 minutes since we last had a scoring chance in one of the 10 games we’re watching, but I’m sure another one will be along any second now….”
Oh look, a Philistine on the sidewalk.
/locks Clubhouse door
//properly attributes joke
/Ghost of tWBS unlocks Clubhouse door
For the group stages of Shempions, CBSSN has a very similar “Golazo Show” product (since 6 games at once).
“WHY AIN’TT TOMBLIN MAKIN KENNY PLAY DEFEANSE FIRE HIM AND SLEEPY JOE KENNY/TRUMP”
Yinzer rallying cry from Westermoreland County tomorrow
I grew up in Westmoreland County, can confirm.
All dolphin QBs to end up as cenobites., its the pain we deserve in Miami
What the hell?! I take the first hour off to get lunch and Bridgewater gets Tua’d?!
WOBES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck, the boomer medical commercials on CBS are starting to be in my age range.
Lol! As if anyone is expecting the US to even make it out of group.
Its Qatar. We are going to see the world’s greatest athletes competitively heat stroking in front of tiny, sober audiences.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Ghana won this shit show.
Tiny audiences? What happened, was there not enough slave labor available to build stadiums with sufficient capacity?
TeamIran!!!
They’ve got a good shot. Wales is meh, England is tactically shit, and Iran might be geo-politically distracted.
They’re going to get to the elimination rounds or the 5th Fleet is going to start revving up off of Bahrain.
Checking in from work. I see the nice trade pickup I made in Jaylen Waddle has been negated by Miami murdering another quarterback and the Bears are making Dingleberry look like Fran fucking Tarkenton.
Having a great time, honestly. I swear.
Gabe Davis is having himself a day.
it took 4 games, but the bears are finally embracing their tank
AND giving cousins waaaay too much confidence as a bonus
PUT DALVIN BACK IN YOU FUCKSTICKS
Belichick now going to start winning and wearing Balenciaga hoodies to pick up Gisele on the rebound
Not until his recievers start catching the balls thrown to them. She does have a thing about that.
5-nil should be insurmountable against the “I fucked Ted” LOLfins
Time for some wildcat and waddle and hill double reverses
Despite Michael Oliver’s best efforts, Arsenal overcomes the Red Shite.
Very good game.
GOD BLESS Y’ALL and WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dingleberry gonna shout “I own you, I STILL OWN YOU” but like, in Bible-speak
5 minutes of extra time with Arsenal up 1, which means 5 minutes for Jurgen Klopp’s command of English to either reappear or disappear completely.
I very much approve of other fansbases than us Bitter Blues picking up on this.
It’s one of my favorite things about the Premier. Klopp’s absolutely fluent in English but pretends he can barely speak or understand a word of it after a loss.
Just like Sammy Sosa whenever anyone mentioned…performance enhancement
WE GOT SOME HOT AND SEXY PUNTING ACTION HERE!!!
bad month continuing for Bridgewaters in Florida
the Geno Train chugs on
Josh Allen (artist’s conception):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fffK3OwHd98
THIS ARSENAL DEFENSE I CALL IT THE HOUSTON 500, BECAUSE THEY ARE PACKING THE BOX!!!
We also would have accepted “Amazon worker toiling away for slave wages”.
15 minutes left in Arsenal-Liverpool, Gunners up 3-2.
I promise you it’s more entertaining than whatever the NFL is up to at the moment.
Oh boy. it’s gonna be a beatdown in Buffalo. That town might run out of booze today
It’s windy in Buffalo and that’s just the fans.
“Jesus throws a boot at it!!” is now my favorite call ever in sports, and I frankly don’t think it’ll ever be topped.
In Houston for work.
I always forget that the Texans exist.
That’s silly, the city of Houston has a population of 2.3 million, most of whom I assume are Texans.
Texas is like California. Everyone is transplants and the ones that bitch and moan the most about people moving there have only resided in the state for less than 4 years.
I’m surprised with so many people living there – transplants or not – the city isn’t the home of a professional football team.
Yes, but if Houston got a professional team, then Chicago would want one, too.
98 yard TD for Bills, NIOCE
Please tell me Josh Allen ran for it.
GabeDavisdown for 98 yards.
Keep an eye out for Khalil Shakir for the Bills-McKenzie has been ruled out so he will have the wr slot spot. He made some waves in preseason.
Still cant believe Pete Carroll sold the Donks a lemon.
and turned geno smith into something very useful
Christ, maybe he’s right about the steel beams.
“Imagine paying money for a lemon when they simply grow on trees, and you can sneak into people’s yards before sunrise and get them for free!” – Mike Brown
No kidding, right?-Jim Tomsula, loading up his bindle with citrus to avoid scurvy during the colder months
He knew they needed the lemon after Russ cooking gave the team scurvy
Now the Cowboys have to win to keep pace with the Giants in the NFC East. HAHAHAHAHA.
I could use some last minute fantasy advice:
I have a horrible feeling mahomes is gonna lay a dud tonight against the raiders, my back up was Matt Jones who ls still out
.I could play Zack wilson against Miami, Bridgewater against thr jets, or tannehill bs the commanders, any thoughts?
If you bench Homesy for any of those other dudes your great-grandchildren will bring it up at family get-togethers decades from now.
Mahomes is not going to lay a dud against the Raiders. I don’t know why this thought ever entered your mind.
Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you?
https://www.statmuse.com/nfl/ask/patrick-mahomes-career-stats-vs-raiders
Yes. You’re insane. Keep Mahomes in.
For the record, I 100% agreed with Scotchy’s Davis Mills strategem.
It made sense but then they had to play the games.
time for another week of “the chicago bears 10 pass completions challenge”