MOAR Saturday Funsies – Early Thread

Good morning!  God’s in His heaven, MRSA Dreamboat is 3-5.  Let’s do some Sabado-ing.

Leicester and City of Men kick our day off (7:30, USA), and it is worth a viewing.  You can nap later.  Hulk SMASH! the recent “Foxy Footy competence boomlet” – at least, humanity hopes.  USA has the newly-minted “Scorned Lover” Derby (Chelsea away to Trashbirds) at 10:00, with a heaping helping of stream options.  Cherries/Spurs could be mildly interesting to the neutral, more so to Clubhouse partisans (Peacock).

HIDE YO’ WIFE HIDE YO’ KIDS, because Litre and Hippo can has a Spotlight Derby (12:30, NBC).  This iteration is at the Cottage, where I am told – repetedly, by my fellow Bitter Blues – that Everton NEVAR win.  I picked “nil-2, Mitrovic” in Prediction League.  I love being wrong, Toffees.

Don’t watch the Redshite hosting free-falling Leeds (2:45, USA), which is scheduled here because of a Jurgen Klopp bitch fit (or at least I presume).  That leaves a Sunday USA double of King’s Afrikan Water Pistols hosting Robins Hood (10:00), followed by Rum Ham and Men Untied (12:15).  Not great, but who cares when you have MANDATORY Jaguras v. Donks WOO!!!?

THEEEE Ohio State (-15.5) at Paedo State (Noon, Fox)

Ugh, I hate when the Tree Nutz wear the white hat.  But hey, good on y’all for not aiding and abetting pre-teen shower rape.  A low bar, sure.  But at least you comfortably clear it.

Notre Dame (+2.5) at SillyCuse (Noon, ABC)

What fresh hell is this?  The Irish playing an actual, honest-to-God ROAD FIXTURE?  They’s not even a favoUrite!  SPOILER ALERT – Son de Clem beats SillyCuse for the 2nd straight week, because we can’t have nice things.

TCU (-7.5) at West By God Virginia (Noon, ESPN)

Oh HAI THERE, trappiest of trap games.  Bloodeyes GODS will sadly go unsated today.

Florida (+22.5) v. Georgia (3:30, CBS)

World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party!  Gators will need all the booze just to numb the pain, though I could see them maybe keeping this close into Q3.

BDSM State (+1.5) at Kansas State (3:30, Fox)

Two Laws of Nature clash today.  This is a difficult road trip for the Discipline Daddies, coming off last week’s emotional shootout win over Steerfuckers South.  But you know the ironclad rule against backing the Unded Bill Snyders as a favoUrite.  Especially in a home showcase matchup like this, where a win puts them on a glide path to the Big Twaaaaalve Championship game.  Oy.  Good thing we ain’t GOT to bet this’un.

Cincinnati (+1.5) at Central Florida (3:30, ESPN)

Only the Hitler Mice realistically stand between JV WKRP and the New Year’s Six slot reserved for the plebian conferences.  Decent flipping option once the Cocktail Party gets out of hand.  Then again, one might also nap.