Your First Slate of NFL Football Games Open Thread

And a wee bit of soccer, no doubt.

To The Games!

Chargers/Falcons:

ATL has been surprising, ranking 5th in rushing (mostly without Cordarelle) and 29th in passing. When they do go long they turn to Damiere Byrd, of all people, who has racked up 142 yards and a couple of TD’s the last two weeks. Tight end Pitts has finally started to break loose from the binds of this offence, totaling 80 yards and a score last week.

Fins/Bears:

Hill and Waddle are 1st and 4th respectively in receiving and should do well vs the Bears corners. A win would make Miami 6-3 for only the second time since 2001. Tua has only lost one game against an NFC opponent.

Panthers/Bengals:

A Big Cat fight! Also, there’s a footballer by the name of Walker that isn’t a national embarrassment! P.J. beat Brady two weeks ago and did his part by getting D.J. Moore into the end zone but then the latter did a stupid thing and, oh well…

Packers/Lions:

Many thought there would be a timeshare in Green Bay’s backfield and it did start out that way. However, Jones has begun to assert himself (5.8 ypc and 142 yards vs Buffalo) as Dillon’s usage has fallen off.

Raiders/Jags:

One of these reeling teams is getting to three wins on the season today. Unless a tie is in the offing, which would be lovely. Just don’t leave any skid marks on the field, okay?

Colts/Pats:

Indy could make life difficult for Mac Jones, who was laid out 6 times last week. The Colts have nine guys that have at least one sack and a ballhawk in Stephone Gilmore.

Bills/Jets:

Call me a whack job but I think the spread is too high in this tilt. Although the Bills are a rolling juggernaut Saleh (peace be with you) will have his team ready. They won’t win but they’ll be tough.

Vikings/Commies:

Minny’s going to 7-1? Minny’s going to 7-1. A very unassuming 7-1 though.

It’s all yours.

 

 

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BugEyedBoo

Got my flu shot and my covid booster yesterday. Feeling great!

Redshirt

These Bengals Non-Touchdowns are getting annoying.

Game Time Decision

-Brocky

King Hippo

Time for The Elite One

Cecil Rhodes

My word, looks like Zach Wilson has a back injury!

Redshirt

Keep punching the turbo button, Mixon.

herodotus450

You seen what that button was wearing though?

King Hippo

Feed the Beatie

King Hippo

Them Raiders are strange, even by NFL standards

Spur

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Spur

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The Maestro

I feel this in my soul.

Spur

maybe one of the girls gets that Florence Nightingale effect

The Maestro

Happy CFL Playoffs Sunday, folks. Time to enter the damn dojo. (And pretend Iike I’m going to have a productive marking day.)

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herodotus450

What kinda keytaur you got there?

ThePirateSloth

Imma watch my 80s “older and goes to another school so you don’t know her” girlfriend, Lea Thompson, in Jaws3, then Howard The Duck instead of this morning slate of games.

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Last edited 2 years ago by ThePirateSloth
Dunstan

What’s the matter, you can’t find “Caroline in the City” on a streaming service?

(That was actually a decent show for a season or so, and then it all became about the dumb romance plot)

ThePirateSloth

Space Camp isn’t streaming either.

Redshirt

Hey, Good Bipolar Bengals Offense showed up!

Spur

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King Hippo

I worry that Brokeback has taken up eating lead paint chips like Zeke

Mr. Ayo

J-E-S-T! JEST! JEST! JEST!

Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
King Hippo

Oh, Jets

Redshirt

“Old School Carolina Panthers?” The franchise is barely 20 years old.

Gumbygirl

Almost 30. First season was 1995. We have our Jaguars Inaugural Season pennant and reprint of our tickets hanging in Gumby’s man cave.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Who would have thought Sam Ponder would have a longer NFL-related career than Christian Ponder?

Besides everyone who ever saw Christian Ponder play, I mean.

King Hippo

Bur at least the man will always be a complete sentence

Horatio Cornblower

Let me guess, he’s against it?

Spur

Really shocked me when he did the Nazi Salute

Spur

If Greenbay loses today, Rodgers is going to have the biggest hissy fit

King Hippo

Humps leaning hard into tank mode.

Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

Rookie mistake. You have to ease in to drinking blood.

Spur

Am really going to miss the non-stop political ads

King Hippo

If you want to look at the world optimistically, I guess we won’t need ever again (if this is the last time we really vote)

Redshirt

I also miss the conga line of Bengals Wild Card Losses, my father’s heart attack and the moment I realized my friendship with my first best friend was over.

Oh, sorry, I thought we were posting painfully obvious lies.

King Hippo

Jeebus, the fart grandson cat just SBD’d. Good thing he’s handsome.

Gumbygirl

San Bernardino Airported? Sucked Big Dicks? What did the cat DO!!!

King Hippo

Silent but deadly

Gumbygirl

Oh, duh!

Spur

Morning Folks

yeah right

The gentleman in the banner image is a Canadian who is at every Vikings home game. I’ve seen him there every time I’ve been. He goes by the moniker of “100% Cheese Free” and he is as friendly a person as you are ever to encounter.

ballsofsteelandfury

Looks like he’s handing out free tickets to the Gun Show.

King Hippo

he is spot-on wrt cheese!

LemonJello

Who has 2 thumbs and is currently tailgating at Little Danny’s Cesspool and fitbawl venue? This guy!

LemonJello

I’m camouflaged in burgundy but SKOL! MUTHAFUKKAS!!

yeah right

ATTA BOY!

King Hippo

give out lots of YOU LIKE THAT!s

Redshirt

.

8E935B16-E5BC-489F-8807-791C1A91A808.jpeg
yeah right

Not sure why we don’t have a London game on time change Sunday. Our asses are already up an hour earlier so you would have guaranteed ratings.

Game Time Decision

Was thinking the same thing

Dunstan

Came home last night to find an entire pizza left on my doorstep. It was ice cold, so presumably had been misdelivered hours ago. This presented me with quite the moral dilemma. Heat up a slice or eat it cold?

If any of you decided to poison me, congratulations, you succeeded. But I’m going with the assumption that it’s a gift from Gumbygirl because I’m her favorite.

Redshirt

Twist in plot: Gumbygirl had a breakdown and decided to “release Dunstan to the angels”.

Gumbygirl

Oh you sweet summer child. If I snap and go on a spree, Dunstan would not be my first victim. Not even top 100.

Gumbygirl

You are!

Fronkenshteen

Declan Rice went from burgeoning superstar to not very much of anything special at all awfully quickly. West Ham deserve to suck on this loss.

Horatio Cornblower

Just realized that Saban and Dabo lost last night, and we didn’t even need a meteor to do it!

TheRevanchist

Alabama has lost twice this season. You know the BCS is a joke if they make the college playoff.

King Hippo

The only 2-loss team with a chance is LSU. And it’s very, very remote.

Realistically, will be UGA, Tennessee, tOSU, and Michigan. Those are probably the 4 best teams, and very little stands between them and “top 4” status.

Bloodeyes would get in if they win out, but they almost surely won’t. Oregon could have a case if they win out (and they might).

Redshirt

If its a close Ohio State loss to M*ch*g*an, maybe. If not, TCU or Oregan/USC.

Redshirt

LSU had two losses and debuted at #10, even though the reporters and the coaches had them at 15 and 17. The Playoff Committee is a joke. At least the BCS formulas didn’t show bias.

Horatio Cornblower

I thought Emery was managing somewhere in France, had no idea he’d come back to the Premier.

King Hippo

He was at the Yellow Submarine (Villareal, in Spain), this is IIRC his first game back with Villa.

Horatio Cornblower

Whatever. One of them funny countries where they ain’t speak ‘merican no good.

Cecil Rhodes
Last edited 2 years ago by Cecil Rhodes
TheRevanchist

Good Wrexham game for the FA cup this morning. Oldham owner talked so much shit leading up to this game. Happy to shut that dude up.

Fronkenshteen

Looks like Paul Mullin buttoned his lip for him.

Horatio Cornblower

From what I could gather Oldham fans think he’s a clown as well.

So when I win Powerball DFO will be buying Oldham Athletic.

Gentlemen, to evil!

Horatio Cornblower

Where does Zaha play next year?

Because I doubt Crystal Palace can afford him.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, thanks to the abomination that is DST I am up early enough for the 9:00 am slate of games, but thanks to the miracle that is beer I was never going to make the 7:00 am start for the King’s Africa Water Pistols.

I have, however, already texted my father to make fun of Chelsea losing.

King Hippo

Rocket from Benrahma WOO!!

Fronkenshteen

SCREAMER by Saïd Benrahma!

King Hippo

Get the nutters into a “One Divine Hammer” chorus for HT!

Redshirt

Current Status of Cincinnati Bengals Fans:

Blazing Saddles – When? – YouTube

King Hippo

Looks like EtH’s bizarre “make Ronaldo captain” gambit has…confused his team as much as it did me?

Fronkenshteen

Got bullshitted by a bullshitter, and the squad was unthrilled, it seems. I’d have been, too. “Three weeks ago the primadonna asshole refused to play, now he’s my CAPTAIN?! Fuck him and fuck you!”

Fronkenshteen

Some of these odds looked too skewed to ignore:

FB5D0341-CF1A-4BBF-9E37-1B8C3275E265.png
King Hippo

I guess Son isn’t playing? Dunno if Richarlison is fit for Spurs, but they still have Fuckface Kane, at minimum.

Fronkenshteen

It’s not so much what Tottenham is, it’s what Liverpool (lately) ain’t.

King Hippo

Inshallah, homey. That’s my read as well.

Redshirt

Me pacing Hard Rock Casino Cincinnati waiting for them to allow Sports Gaming (Artistic Interpretation)

Eric Cartman Waiting GIF by South Park – Find & Share on GIPHY

Fronkenshteen

Villa up 2-0 after 12 minutes. Sensational.
[enormous flushing sound]

Redshirt

The Powerball Jackpot has now entered small country’s GDP territory.

King Hippo

King’s Afrikan Water Pistols, legitimate title contenders. Hippo been trying to tell all y’all.

Fronkenshteen

Reserving my confidence until I see them face the beast.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure that’s even fair. With Haaling and de Bruyne doing what they do I don’t see anyone being able to beat Man City unless they have an off game.

Realistically everyone else is playing for second, much as I’m enjoying Arsenal’s renaissance.

King Hippo

Agree with you on the BUF/NYJ spread. I get that the QB differential is…substantial. But still, Saleh can coach and will keep his lot within touching distance.

Vodka Hippo really needs ThAndre Carter to get over his trots and play today.

Fronkenshteen

I wish I could agree, but I think Belichick rolling into NJ and crushing all their momentum let all the air out of their balloon. The team and the fans. Still can’t beat even a shitty version of New England? Same old Jets. Welcome to the Meadowlands for REAL Mr. Saleh. Bills will roll. Don’t worry about that number. Lay the wood.

King Hippo

They didn’t react well to being “chased rather than chasing” – I wouldn’t read too much into it. Jets still seem very 9-8 to me, maybe 10-7.

Fronkenshteen

See? Just like I said. The Jets are a juggernaut that can’t be stopped and you all should OBVIOUSLY have taken the points like one takes candy from a baby!

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