Well, two down and one more to go.
To The Game!
Ravens/Bengals:
-According to Schefter, that strategy that never, ever works may be employed by the Ravens. Yes, we’re talking about shuffling two qb’s in and out of the lineup. I guess the thinking has always been that it keeps a defense off-balance but it seems to prevent the offense from ever finding a rhythm.
-After shredding the Ravens D last year (partially resulting in the firing of Wink Martindale) Burrow has been kept relatively in check this year, throwing for under 400 yards combined in the regular season.
-Which begs the question, ‘what wrinkles will Ravens DC Mike McDonald and Cincy OC Brian Callahan unveil in this do-or-die game?’.
-Huntley called himself a game-timer earlier in the week (though he put in a full practice on Friday) leading to some Ravens fans going all-in for Anthony Brown, noting that he’s not afraid of going for the deep shot here and there which could loosen up the Bengals D. The egregious turnovers have been summarily ignored.
-Scoring Drought: It’s hard to believe (or easy, given Lamar’s status) but the Ravens haven’t scored more than one TD in any game since week 12. Thank bejeezuz they have Justin Tucker-they’ve leaned on him even more than usual lately.
-The loss of right guard Alex Cappa (he’s replaced by Max Scharping) may impact Cincy’s run game. He was their best lineman.
-Getting Dobbins touches will be essential for the Ravens-in the four games since his return from a knee injury he’s gained 397 yards.
Do your thing.
Ah yes, Collinsworth’s favorite play, the one where they force it in.
If the Bengals win, we play the Jags. So, that is who I am rooting for.
THAT PLAY I CALL IT MOTEL 6 SHEETS BECAUSE IT HAS A VERY QUESTIONABLE SPOT
SHUT.UP. COLLINSWORTH.
Evergreen comment.
Which one?
Wait, never mind, applies the same.
Might wanna cover #89 there Bengals.
BLEERGH giveth and BLEERGH taketh away.
Ok, made it just in time to watch the last half of the 4th quarter, woo!
Which ones of y’all should I be looking for in Bengals uni, and shame on you for missing your blocking assignnment right there!
Not me. I at least hold them and give the team another chance.
PRAISE BLEERGH
“Talking about a game of inches….”
Deanna Favre has entered the chat.
I shouldn’t find this funny, but I do
Crying Jordan memes are never not funny
I know right?
The foobawl team must repay karma for the past sins of actual Vikings, so it’s going to be a while longer.
AFTER NEW YORK BUZZED IN AND YELLED “INCOMPLETE YOU ASSHOLE” IN MY YEAR, IT’S 4TH DOWN
You made my father laugh out loud. Well done.
Stadium DJ with some Rage Against the Machine just now!
We go live to the home of one JJ Fozz for a reaction to the Jackson fumble:
See? That 69% win expectation was right on! Might even be a bit pessimistic.
Nice.
When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong
THE SUDDENEST OF CHANGES!
That might be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen happen on a football field, and by God they should get Melissa Stark down there right now to ask John Harbaugh his thoughts on the matter.
Well, that’s…different
Thats so Ravens
Sudden change?
Sudden
Dramatic
Reversal
This is a 14-point replay
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Fatmandown?
What’s with the Bengals and 2nd string QBs?
The fuck?!
Lamar: “Hey, coach! I think I’ll be ready for next week.”
Harbs: “New phone, who dis?”
Bridesmaid in that Amazon ad has GREAT shoulders. Rikki, can you hook a Hippo up?
How does Cincinnati have a 69% chance to win? We’re treading water at best.
Nice.
The only loser is you when you put any stock or broth in those dumb win probabilities
Goddammit Collinsworth, Peters isn’t the only one playing “playoff football.” They all are!
Just say he’s getting away with penalties because the refs don’t want a bad playoff grade and no other player has the balls to challenge them.
THIS GUY ELI APPLE I CALL HIM “THE APPLE FRITTER” BECAUSE HE IS CONSTANTLY GETTING FRIED.
We’re going to Extra Time. I can feel it.*
*may or may not be a stroke
Today is the birthday of my wife (and niece). I made the wife a filet mignon, shrimp, and a pork roast for dinner. I’ve been working all day to make it special for her. She said this is one of the best birthday’s she has had.
However, I am tired. And I’m the only one that needs to work tomorrow.
And I’m drunk and ready for bed.
tell teh boss man he a RAYCESS CRACKA
I’m not sure, and I guess I’m due for a rewatch, but McNulty seemed to have a drinking problem.
For chrissakes, read the room Jesus!
Has Eli Apple ever not been trash?
In season, the Eli Apple is great. Out of season, they are best to avoid.
Out of season for the Eli Apple, of course, being September to February.
He’s a Craps Table throw.
QB Controversy in Baltimore!
– MMQB
Give y’all three guesses who the corner was there.
(hint for the really drunk)
I seriously want to go to that Sign Museum.
I appreciate Tirico clarifying that the Sign Museum is a museum of signs.
I was totally baffled before that.
Burrow had his Zoolander Blue Steel looking going on in that picture that NBC showed after that conversion.
I like that this next generation of star QBs all seem more relatable than…the ones from my own age bracket.
Apparently it’s this bad because they’re building a monorail for the Olympics. An hour from gate to just getting in a Lyft with no luggage. That’s longer than the flight.
“Mono…”
Next time just fly into Burbank and I’ll come pick you up.
Apple: Our new iWatch tracks when you ovulate. This is not at all creepy and is a reason you should buy it!
“Wait until you hear what the iIUD allows us to do!”
If they really wanted to make money they’d have it report boners and masterbation sessions per day with a leaderboard.
“Just when you thought middle school couldn’t get more awkward…”
The Apple Watch: Because what every gal really wants is some douchy tech bro telling her when she should be having sex!
furiously taking notes – Elon M., Palo Alto, CA
And there’s no way that southern state legislators would attempt to exploit such a feature as part of an anti-abortion crusade.
Can we start a GoFundMe to cut Collinsworth’s mic?
I’m in for a 2nd $20 if we upgrade to “sever vocal cords” package
Stretch goal.
That’s why I listen to radio and live with the delay.
my Dad always did that, but it breaks my brain (even broken-er)
This is the point where I’d explain (hopefully not too man-splainy) to my ex-wife that nobody really has “quality OL depth” – just varying degrees of panic.
Looking forward to critiquing Redshirt’s pass blocking!
I’m not Carmen but I’m creeping up the draft chart.
I’ve read enough Team WKRP internet to know y’all would be more comfortable rolling Cartman out there instead.
I feel like a London child during the Blitz set away into the country and tryin to find the parents that match the luggage tag strapped around my neck
That might have been the most well-acted Sunny episode. So, so good.
BAH GAWD THAT’S STONE COLD’S THEME