As y’all no doubt know, the mighty Wrexham (having made it a round deeper in the FA Cup than Piss Off You’re Scaring the Children Everton) host Team Knifey today (11:00, ESPN+).  They even were kind enough to schedule it in a West Coast-friendly way.  I asked the Clubhouse’s #1 fan, The Revanchist, to write us sommet.  His excellent work is as follows….

Wrexham:  A Town, A Team, And The Tits

The Welsh have a great many things, like Welsh cakes, a language of their own, Tom Jones, a dislike of the British Crown, and a large town in Northern Wales called Wrexham AFC.

As many of you know, this team came to the spotlight when Ryan Reynolds, the guy who bangs Blake Lively, and Rob McElhenney got together and bought the rights to this non-league team.  That’s right!  Non-league.  Not even good enough to be part of the English Football League on any of the tiers.  That’s a pretty shitty team right?

The answer is yes.  The fans had basically got together and formed a trust to keep this team alive for a decade.  Previous owners badly managed this team and subsequent to that, real estate owners viewed the land as something to sell parts of to bankroll their fat pocketbooks.  The people of the town all pitching in and buying the team was the only way Wrexham AFC could survive.

To say the fans have been the backbone of this team is not a stretch.   Goatse is a stretch, which you can see if you use your work computer and Google it.  The people not only paid for the team, then they set up the trust and paid into it every month to pay the players’ salaries.  Since they didn’t have any money to pay a staff, the front office, grounds keepers, box office, and everything else was run by volunteers.  Luckily, the attendance was a few thousand per game, plus the merchandise and beer sales, helped keep the team running, as well.

So, when Rob & Ryan made a proposal to buy this team, the people of the town were skeptical at first.  However, they video conferenced with the members of the Trust (basically the entire town) during COVID, and they got the necessary percent of votes at 96%.

Mind you, this is all during COVID.

Rob & Ryan have put money into the team.  They put money into the town.   A lot of the volunteers that ran the place are are now paid workers there.  The women’s side is super competitive and keep getting better.  The repairs that have been neglected are now either fixed or underway to get fixed.

Today’s game is a fourth round game in the Emirate’s FA Cup.  Wrexham has a their star player in Super Paul Mullin.  For his team this season, he has 20 goals in regular play.  He has 6 goals in this FA Cup, to add.

Wrexham has not lost a game at home in the past nine months.  They plan to keep it that way.  They aren’t a great road team, but still pulled out a win at Coventry City for a 3rd round win a couple of weeks ago.  So, they are hopeful about their chances against Sheffield United, who can eat a fat dick and choke on a goat’s dick.

Game time is 8:30 PST.  This will be aired on ESPN+ for those who are going to watch.  We will see who wins.

Fuck Sheffield.  They can lick a baboon’s ass after it Taco Bell for 3 days straight.