TGIF! As we now bask in the afterglow of the Superb Owl and Galentine’s Day, it’s important to focus on the important things. That’s right, we are mere days from the glorious return of Sunday Gravy!
Survival – Personal Edition
Now that our collective Corporate Overlords are pushing for a return to office, it’s time to brush up on getting dressed. Specifically, let’s remember how to tie some ties! First, the classic Half-Windsor Knot!
- Drape that tie over your neck, fat side on the right, label towards your chest.
- Adjust the tie so the fat part is about a foot lower than the skinny side.
- Pass the fat side across the front of the skinny part, then wrap around the back so the label is facing away from your chest.
- Lift the fat side up and tuck over the tie loop at your neck. Label should still be facing away.
- Pass the fat side across the front of the skinny part, again. This time twist the fat side so the label is now facing your chest.
- Life the fat side up under the tie loop at your neck. The fat side should now be in front of your face with the label facing away.
- Tuck the fat side through the tie knot. Tug until snug. Make the skinny side is shorter than the fat side and not twisted around.
So that’s the easy one. Let’s up the ante and tie a bow tie!
- Drape the tie around your neck, left side about 2 inches lower than the right.
- Pass the left side over the right, then pull up and under the loop at your neck. Drape over your shoulder for now.
- Put your right index finger on your chin. Take the right side, and wrap around around your finger to fold in half. The fattest part should be the edge of the fold when your finger is removed.
- Take the left side that’s still draped over your shoulder, and hang it over the now doubled up right side.
- Bring up that left side, folding it over itself.
- Now, poke that folded up left side through the know behind the front loop. Be careful not to push it all the way through!
- To tighten, tug on each loop, then tug the side of the loop in the back towards the end. Repeat until tight.
There you go! You’re now ready to head back into the office looking formal. Wait, hold on! You did put on pants and a collared shirt first, right?
Click here to get to commenting
Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday! Now with more continuing education via working interactive polls!
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Loading ...
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!
Note how gracefully he falls:
The technique here is stunning:
Here is the equivalent force of being sucked into a jet engine. Let’s hope this lad is okay and walks again soon!
“The most perfect surfing ride ever!” is what they would have said if this guy hadn’t fucked up. Note how he instantly sticks to the water before being lifted and then pulverized into a fine mist.
WTF, lol.
And, of course, when I clicked the link to do so I got an error message.
Great work there Elon. Keep innovating.
Also, Elon, you can just turn it off for everyone and not lose your customers for no reason. Fucking idiot.
I get a daily email from Reddit with highlighted posts. Oddly most are not from subreddits I’ve ever visited. Oddly enough, the last few weeks include a post from /r/40KLore.
First of all, I blame [DFO] for this. Second of all, I have 20 new questions every day for that one post in my email. Third of all, who the fuck is Lion El Johnson? Just kidding, don’t answer that.
I get weird stuff from Reddit too. Recently, it decided I want to watch people powerwashing stuff, r/powerwashing porn. Turns out, I DO! It’s oddly mesmerizing.
Dammit, I wasn’t looking for new wormholes to crawl down this evening.
Well that is one fine intro Mr. Ayo.
Guess it’s time to fire up the Sunday Gravy Train.
Hey folks!
Happy motherfucking 3 day weekend.
Let’s get this offseason started!
/ I had to teach my new phone how to spell “Motherfucking” on my auto suggest option just now.
Excited for the new season. Love the passion in every post.
Thank you.
It’s carried me this many years.
Mmmmmmmm, gravy! I am excite!
Puppeh!
Snack!
Thanks for the test so early in the morning for me Mr. Ayo. It’s stimulation a guy needs.
Okay, this was unexpected. The Korean show I’m watching has a scene where the female lead has clogged a toiled and is desperately plunging it.
Apparently Korean women are much more hydrology astute then their American counterparts.
She cleared it using that trick where you cover the bowl with plastic.
Looks very suspiciously like a flush right before she presses on it
That’s how it works, you’re supposed to flush it. The extra water coming up pushes the plastic seal up, then you push down on it and *hopefully* it clear the clog and doesn’t rupture and send disgusting poo-water spraying into your face.
Either way, clean up will be terrifying.
So, you catch the poo in the plastic?
Squid Game is running out of trap ideas.
Kings’ goalie just got ejected for fighting, and I’ve never been so proud.
THIS GUY PHOENIX COPLEY I CALL HIM HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR OTTO IV CAUSE HE IS A KING WHO WAS EXCOMMUNICATED FOR FIGHTING.
C’MON NHL REFS LET THE GOALIES FIGHT
No shit. Why did the stop that? Nothing better than a goalie fight.
We saw an absolutely epic one at a Jacksonville Lizard Kings game. They went slooooooowly down the ice, shedding their equipment, and beat the living snot out of each other., The refs gave them plenty of time to duke it out. It was one of their first games, the southern crowd was stunned by the unusual amount of blood…
Jacksonville Lizard Kings? Is that real?
/Jackson DeVille unzips on stage
Jim Morrison had a very complicated will
They can do anything.
Absolutely.
Sadly defunct, but they were fun!
They are now known as the Riders on the Storm.
I did not vote in the Real or Implant thing, because if I choose not to decide, I still have made a choice (to dolphin-flog)
You chose Freewill?
Yes, but don’t rush to judgment.
Also, I live in a subdivision. Maybe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vQoMiedy08&ab_channel=JAYKOOL
This is one of those magical moments where two things you love unexpectedly meet and it’s amazing.
God bless you for posting this, had forgotten about it, just so goddamn funny.
Is that you, Tom Sawyer, or just some fly by night?
I don’t know about you, but I call him a working man.
Check back with me in 89 years.
That’s the exact same place my mind went. I hope tWBS sees this and drinks a toast with Neal Peart.
We don’t kink shame here. But that’s pretty fucked up.
I just didn’t want any of the girls to feel bad. It’s a sensitivity thing.
HI I’M MARC DAVIS!
https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/1152zw6/highlight_giannis_youre_out_here_reffing_like/
HI I’M MARC DAVIS AND UTAH DOESN’T LET ME HAVE TONIGHT GIRLFRIENDS
HI! I GOT A NEW BARBER!
HI I’M MARC DAVIS AND I’M UNDER YOUR BED
That’s what he really looks like under that fright wig he wears.
HI I’M MARC DAVIS AND PHONIX ON WORKED HOOKED ON ME
He looks a million times better bald.
STELLA!!!!!!!!!!
More smokin’ hot than Raquel Welch and in better movies too.
Also: REAL
Were there any butt implants in the pictures? Was Ayo super tricky?
That’s extra credit.
That’s MY specialty!
How much more for a plane ticket where announcements are limited to 10 seconds and only two per flight (unless there’s an emergency)?
And no cutesy shit either
I learned how to tie a bowtie from Carl and Shake.
I never watched that show. But those look like fake ones.
I knew I should’ve paid extra for the Teacher’s Edition that has the Answer Key.
Yeah, what’s happened to last week’s answers??
I never promised answers, but they were all real.
Well, they weren’t fembots, so they’re real in the sense they’re human but I cannot believe there were no implants.
I did say the answers would SHOCK you.
[femur drums are heard in the distance]
How do you KNOW they were all real?
Dude, you were there too.
I could only see the tops of their heads
The research needed to figure that out would send me to the sideline. So I will just enjoy Ayo’s presentation and draw my own conclusions. Picture by picture. After very close examination.