Monday Morning Mock Drafts: Plant It!

Good morning.  Whoever had “Week 4” (is it 5?  Maybe it’s 5), in the “When Will Horatio Forget To Have The Mock Draft Ready To Go First Thing In The Morning?” please go to the window and collect your winnings.

I meant to get this done last night, but Mrs. Horatio had some ideas about other things she wanted to get done and, well, that took precedence.  And I’m happy to report that the new paint job in the kitchen looks very nice, and blends well with the new cabinetry.

I have two topics to consider today, one from RTD and one from BFC. Because this is a rush job I am going with Rikki’s; BFC’s is very good, but I need to put some thought into my pick and I don’t have enough time to both think and get this thing posted ahead of my 10:00 am conference calls.

Rikki suggested “Plants”, which is both a solid topic and one where I can make my first pick with ease.  Rikki gave me the topic and some examples, but didn’t say which he would pick first, so I’ll be making the first pick.

The humble tomato.  Tastes good, and it’s the only thing I’m consistently able to grow in what I laughingly call a garden each summer.  At least high enough to the point that the groundhogs can get to them early each morning and eat them right off the vine.  Last year, (drought year in CT), I actually had better luck with peppers, but that’s the first year I had any success with them, so tomatoes it is.

The rest of you are on the clock.  The rules are 1) is it a plant? and 2) do you like it?  It does not have to be edible.  Many of you are thinking of the same plant right now, and I almost took it first just to avoid the rush, but I don’t use that plant and therefore thought it would be too mean.  First come, first served.

No commissioner this week as I’m down to 3 minutes left.

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scotchnaut

Rice, Rice, Baby. I’ve heard that a large segment of the world’s population eats that stuff up. For the sticklers, I’ll take Biryani.

WCS

Jimmy G to Rikki’s Raiders.

3 years, $67.5 million, $34 guaranteed

Don’t know if this warrants a run through the Clubhouse with a Raiders’ bandana…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Woo hoo! Handsome Jimmy in the (That’s My Raiders! shared) house!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d681GuMZj6Y

Gumbygirl

Purple Haze. It lights up my brain. Excuse me, while I kiss this guy.

Game Time Decision

Apple tree, since HC is being all power crazy I’ll go with a Gala

scotchnaut

My boys love the most expensive ones-Honeycrisp and Fuji. Wonderful.

LemonJello

4th pick: Meyer Lemon

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ballsofsteelandfury

Very on-brand!

BeefReeferLives

The humble onion. It’s in everything, and makes (almost) everything better. Raw, cooked, caramelized…

Damn fine satirical newspaper as well.

https://www.theonion.com/

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone’s been watching Top Chef…

SonOfSpam

Robert.

Mostly for his work with Zeppelin, but his solo stuff is fine too.

SonOfSpam

Springfield Nuclear Power is still on the board.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, we can draft people? Awesome! I need a bunch to pick my cotton! I’ll start with Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III.

LemonJello

He’ll do it whether you pick catnip or not. Cats are assholes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

4. Cotton. Can’t go many places without clothing, so while you poor saps are running around without any pants on I’ll…wait…NO!

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scotchnaut

Not to get all sappy but I’ll take the Crimson Maple because it reminds me of my aunt.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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2Pack

Red bell peppers

BeefReeferLives

I will go with the Lime tree/plant. Delicious, with many uses. I’ll trade with LemonJello for some of his blue agave.

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LemonJello

Deal.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Aloe.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

IS IT MEEEEEEE YOU’RE LOOKING FOR?

scotchnaut

I mean, he was on a rudimentary tree at one point but I don’t think that should be a legit pick.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, that was BFC. What, do all Jews look alike to you?

Game Time Decision

3. Orchids, specially the one that gives you the vanilla bean. Flowering and has flavoUr, score!

LemonJello

3rd pick: Blue Agave

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scotchnaut

I asked my wife about this mock draft and I’ve got a list longer than my arm. I’ll also take rhubarb. Grows everywhere and a childhood treat was dipping the end in white sugar. (have I mentioned that I grew poor?, yet again)

Game Time Decision

The leaves are good for your other hobby, just not a quick

Doktor Zymm

Rhubarb salsa is sooo good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You and Yeah Right should work out a trade agreement.

Gumbygirl

I am a plant killer. Black thumb of death. But I love me some fleurs. Since we are approaching le printemps, let me have all of the daffodils!

scotchnaut

My wife said that’s fine as long as she can have her trilliums.

Gumbygirl

I don’t know what they are, so sure!

Doktor Zymm

Seriously? No one has taken coffee? YOINK

Edit: okay, apparently this was picked while I was checking previous picks, so fine, I like tea better anyway!

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

Dinner is about to show up, so for later picks just give me whatever giant trees are still around, baobab, redwood, that sort of thing. Or maybe fancy woods like ebony or mahogany.

Doktor Zymm

In that case, sticking to tea but green tea specifically

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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BeefReeferLives

I’ll go with the producer of (almost) everyone’s favorite alkaloid stimulant: The coffee plant.

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BeefReeferLives

Juan tells me that only Arabica will do.
(& his donkey says “Buenos Dias”)

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Last edited 1 year ago by BeefReeferLives
Game Time Decision

No Kopi Luwak?

2Pack

A true hero

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BUTT-HEAD: Uh…you have a masturbation helmet?

BEAVIS: I mean it’s a football helmet. But, you know…safety first!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

3. Cacao Tree. If there’s a single thing I’ve learned in my 45+ years on this planet it’s that women love chocolate and would push their own mother in front of a bus just to get some. And if I control the chocolate supply, they will love me, too. Or at least pretend to like. They will talk to me, at the absolute minimum, which is already a big step up.

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BeefReeferLives

I eagerly await the day CRISPR tech allows humanity to produce a plant / yeast strain that produces ALL TH’ DRUGS.

Doktor Zymm

As long as there is still non-chocolate cocaine around so it’s not ruined for those of us who aren’t huge chocolate fans, like Ben and Jerrys got ruined

Doktor Zymm

I wish! Nah, it’s all just chocolate and child labor

Gumbygirl

Silly, silly man. Wrong, of course. Women don’t ” love” chocolate. Women “need” chocolate. For many scientific reasons that your poor dumb brain can’t possibly comprehend, so I’ll use simple words. It keeps us from killing you.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Here’s your chocolate, ma’am. Now if you wouldn’t mind releasing the gentle pressure you’re applying to my jugular vein with a straight razor…

scotchnaut

I’ll take watermelons. Easy peasy and they grow like crazy.

2Pack

Eggplant. Often overlooked versatile veggie.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m trying to grow eggplant right now but none of the seeds are germinating.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sometime I’ll do the rough equivalent – stir the ground back up. It doesn’t usually help, though – if they’re duds, they’re duds.

2Pack

When I retire I’ll give growing from seed a try. For now I buy small plants at this super garden center near us. A 6 plant flat of eggplant costs under 3 euro and yields a good 20-30 euros worth of eggplant from August until early October.

Doktor Zymm

How are you germinating them? The wet paper towel method has always worked best for me

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just put them in the ground. I don’t think they’re viable; I got them from a guy who took some stuff off my hands via Craigslist and they were a bit of a bonus, so I’m not expecting too much.

I’ve done the paper towel thing with cannabis and it has always served me very well also.

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
BugEyedBoo

Cantaloupe. Biddybiddybop. Nothing better if you catch them at peak ripeness.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A few years ago we rediscovered the joy of cold canteloupe on a hot day. It’s so good.

2Pack

With smoked ham it’s sensational in season. Procutto Melone is a summer stand by. Whoever figured out that salty-sweet combo was pure genius.

Doktor Zymm

Yes, delicious! These sorts of simple small plates are the best

BeefReeferLives

I will go with the closest known relative to Cannabis, the humble hop vine.

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BeefReeferLives

East Kent Goldings. YUM.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I do not care for this development. It’s like if the NFL allowed teams to clone players (which they most certainly will, once the quick-grow technology becomes available).

BeefReeferLives

Same with reefer? If so, I want DJ Blueberry short.

yeah right

Blue Dream please.

yeah right

Marijuana. That’s a serious cash crop. I can’t just LEAVE it there.

Game Time Decision

Going to take the humble potato.

/Steal of the draft?

SonOfSpam

found the mick

Game Time Decision

baked, mashed, for fried for a start.
Can be used to make alcohol
what’s not to like?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, but can you build a house out of it?

“Sure can!” – Eli Manning, hurriedly building a structure using his french fries before Olivia gets back from the powder room and yells at him for playing with his food.

Game Time Decision

and if needed to be specific, I’ll take the Russet

SonOfSpam

The versatile rose can say “Let’s have some sex” or even “Sorry about what I said, let’s have some sex”

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King Hippo

Opium poppies today. Opium poppies ta-marr-uh. Opium poppies FOAREVER

SonOfSpam

Good for putting Dorothy to sleep in the movies or in real life!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also they’re kinda pretty:

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BeefReeferLives

Gotta admit I was tempted…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2. Oak Tree. You want to make casks for your Chardonnay? Fuck you, pay me. You wanna build some furniture, or put in some hardwood floors? Fuck you, pay me. You want a bunch of acorns so you can huck them at your kid brother? Fuck you, Eli. Pay me.

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BeefReeferLives

I’ll go with the playful peyote.

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BeefReeferLives

Was thinking of my personal favorite, Psilocybe cubensis, but mushrooms aren’t plants.

LemonJello

2nd pick: Crepe Myrtle

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wish I could find that image of the Pasadena women that Sarah Sprague used to use for her posts.

Gumbygirl

I had a bright purple one in my yard in Birmingham, love them!

2Pack

Rosemary. It’s the herbs and spices folks. Grow those in a planter if you have to. They add extra yardage to any meal.

Last edited 1 year ago by 2Pack
LemonJello

Fun fact: Andy Reid measures meals in cubic yardage.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll take Sugar Cane, on the same logic as Horatio’s coca pick

Game Time Decision

It’s a reach but fuck it, The maple tree. Specifically the sugar maple so I can have Maple Syrup.

Gumbygirl

Found the hoser.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I presume that comes with the entire nation of Canada so it’s not really a reach at all.

Sharkbait

Banana peppers for second pick. I grew them one summer and want to grow them again.

yeah right

Grapes. Now I can make wine.

LongtimeLionsLoser

2nd pick: Okra.

Bryant McKinnie’s “running through the okra patch” comment was the highlight of the Vikings’ Love Boat drama.

Also, okra is great lightly fried with some red pepper.

LongtimeLionsLoser

Classic

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2Pack

Zucchini. They grow well for me consistently every year.

Sharkbait

Basil to start. It’s easy and super fresh basil the the best.

2Pack

Cannot beat it with your fresh tomatoes

2Pack

Day or two old bread, top with chopped tomatoes, basil, olive oil, salt – toast in the oven for 3 minutes = everyones favor side with nearly any/every meal. Bruschetta

Last edited 1 year ago by 2Pack
Game Time Decision

I’ll take green beans. Have actually grown a few.

Dunstan

Barley.

Oh, sure, it’s fine in a soup, and you can make risotto with it, but let’s be honest, this is all about beer and whisky.

LemonJello

1st pick: White Flowering Dogwood

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Gumbygirl

Stinky.

Gumbygirl

I’m so wrong! I apologize, stately Dogwood. It’s the stanky Bradford Pear I meant. The white flowers threw me off.

yeah right

Strawberries. Easy to grow and incredible in smoothies.

2Pack

I put those in planters wherever I have room. Good by us from May to September.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1. CORN!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This gets me a necessary ingredient for tacos (as well as a necessary ingredient to feed the livestock that also have an important role in the creation of tacos) as well as a potential distillate. This is a blue-chip pick that will serve as the foundation of my franchise for years to come.

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Dunstan

Solid pick. Like taking a good offensive lineman — doesn’t wow the casual fan, but makes your entire offense better for years.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And I’ll take wheat.

https://youtu.be/ONPkddQFtTE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tomatoes are gross from a texture perspective.

I think we can assume this will be Rikki’s first pick:

https://youtu.be/NfthYLvxVwk

LongtimeLionsLoser

I’ll get things started with an unlikely first pick: The cucumber plant.

The why: because you can always tell your kid to go look for more sprouts in whatever other plants that they’ve wound through, so parents get a 20- minute break from their 4-year olds.