Request Line: Sports! (and March Madness open thread)

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The recording studio is calm and quiet.  The PRODUCER is sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair with his feet up, watching college basketball on a computer monitor.  DJ 3000 remains pushed up against the wall.  The PRODUCER claps his hands as he reacts to something that happens in the game he’s watching, then picks up a printed bracket and a red sharpie.  As he begins writing a thick red “X”…

— [ZOOM CALL FLIES OPEN] —

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: Good morning, buddy! Holding down the fort?

The PRODUCER scrambles to hit the “boss button”.

PRODUCER: Sure thing, just, uh, punching some of the station budget numbers into this spreadsheet.

DTZM: [smiles knowingly] Right, right. So what do the overhead numbers look like for February?

PRODUCER: [pretends to peer at “spreadsheet”] They look, uh, good.

DTZM: Glad to hear it.  How much did we spend specifically on amortized costs?

PRODUCER: Um, sorry, didn’t quite catch that, there seems to be some audio interference. Say again?

DTZM: Oh, that’s just the wind – the convertible top is down.  We’re on our way back from the tennis tournament in Palm Springs. And you don’t have to bullshit me – your workstation monitoring software shows me what you’re actually doing.

PRODUCER: Listen, it’s just that I went to school at VCU, so…

DTZM: Relax, relax, we’re not monsters…

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [off-screen, driving] Speak for yourself!

DTZM: …we like sports too.  But while we’re on the subject of financials, is there any way you can insert some kind of financial instrument – I don’t know, a savings bond or something – into DJ 3000’s time loop and repeatedly compound the interest?

PRODUCER: I don’t think it works that way.

DTZM: Okay, but if you can figure it out, we’ll cut you in for ten percent of the profits.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [off-screen, driving] Five percent!

DTZM: Speaking of profits, we’ve got advertisers to service, so have you got today’s edition of Request Line taken care of yet?

PRODUCER: Well…no.  Frankly, with DJ 3000 stuck in that time loop we don’t have any guest booked.  Plus, with March Madness underway I thought our listeners would be more interested in talking about the games.

DTZM: Trying to move in on Jimmy and the Animal’s territory, eh? But you’re probably right.  Tell you what, let’s run a hybrid episode.  We’ll do one of the weaker topics and open things up for sports opinion stuff. Got any topics that have a decently thin field?

PRODUCER: How about songs about sports?

DTZM: Oh, good call.  There’s so little there.  Better open it up to album titles and band names, too.

PRODUCER: Will do.

DTZM: Get us started with something that will work as driving music too?

PRODUCER: I’ve got just the thing.

Today’s theme is: Sports.  We’re looking for songs that relate to any kind of sport, even weird ones like cricket and badminton (if you can find them).  Band and album names are fair game.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uTF!3Ld_aM0rr!5oN” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  The answer to last week’s puzzle song was “Digging in the Dirt” by Peter Gabriel which was posted by Yeah Right but once again the credit was stolen by BeefRiverLives.  Have at it, and feel welcome to comment on the NCAA games as well. 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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scotchnaut

FDU hanging with Mr. Cooper. Uh, Purdue.

Downfield Matriculator

https://youtu.be/MEO6gYCFbr0

It is too a sport!

scotchnaut

To be fair, “Ride Like The Wind” could also be a sailing song.

King Hippo

Mark Few is turning into Tony Dungy.

Horatio Cornblower

Hope he doesn’t hang around as long.

King Hippo

How on earth did they build a college in the Grand Canyon?

Downfield Matriculator

Same way they built University of Phoenix . . . government backed student loans without regard to employability (or, in some cases, accreditation).

Gumbygirl

She runs and plays with Fluffy. SPORTS!
https://youtu.be/oJ2ndH84JOs

Last edited 1 year ago by Gumbygirl
scotchnaut

In another timeline Fairleigh Dickinson was an accomplished 19th century poet that wrote about life on the Saskatchewan frontier.

scotchnaut

Her last wish was to have all her writings thrown into a fire but the last of the 8 children she bore didn’t obey her wishes.

scotchnaut

He understood the value of her work intuitively.

scotchnaut

He somehow heard of the Shakespeare and Company bookstore in Paris and approached Sylvia Beach with the journal.

scotchnaut

She consulted with Gertrude Stein and James Joyce-they both agreed that these poems were of an exceptional quality.

scotchnaut

A contract was signed whereby the son would get 5% of the sales and Beach, Stein and Joyce would get all the rest.

scotchnaut

The son took them to court and the judge laughed at him for being so stupid. (Beach, Stein and Joyce had bribed him)

scotchnaut

The son eventually committed suicide. No one attended his funeral.

/FIN

Horatio Cornblower

/Rikki starts frantically vacuuming

DJ TAJ
yeah right
DJ TAJ
King Hippo

New Clubhouse teams to the forefront

Horatio Cornblower

Mad at myself for forgetting this absolute gem from Warren Zevon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCpdkbo-_co

DJ TAJ

Beautiful

Gumbygirl

Sentimental Hygiene is a fantastic record. I need to dig it out and listen to it.

Horatio Cornblower

Beats me. I’ve never known the fight song.

blaxabbath

Jeez. Bunch of grown men outside football season and you’re going to waste a month watching amateur basketball.

Man, you guys need to get your priorities in order….

scotchnaut

Can’t tell you how many times I heard this tune when I was uni.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgPlZHz2Nqw&ab_channel=TateThompson

scotchnaut

There’s no reason for anyone to know this but at Carleton university there are miles and miles of underground tunnels that connect all the buildings on campus and every year each floor of the residences are asked to paint a mural on those tunnels. Our floor decided to do a Forgotten Rebels/Silver Surfer mashup. That mural didn’t last 5 days before “The Man” spraypainted over it.

Horatio Cornblower

Full disclosure I went to the gym during the Fightin’ Horatios game. Saw them make two stupid turnovers, give up an Ole lay-up and a 3-point bomb and figured I could either work on myself or work on cleaning up a shattered TV.

scotchnaut

Double Shot! Knopfler was so amazing thru the 80’s and the early 90’s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcwl-Q7pAtY&ab_channel=DireStraitsVEVO

Last edited 1 year ago by scotchnaut
yeah right

Well played. I’ve heard your affinity for Mark Knopfler before and it’s well deserved. No pyrotechnics just a great guitarist.

King Hippo

Are Montana State the Fightin’ Ayos?

scotchnaut

Vodka Ayo’s?

Mr. Ayo

GO CATS!

King Hippo

But that is BOTH SIDES??

Mr. Ayo

BOB > WILD

GO CATS GO!

WCS

There are 24 brackets left intact out of over 20 million at TWWL dot com.

Horatio Cornblower

Seems high

DJ TAJ

I am

scotchnaut

Twas-he’s been shown a few times. Apparently his son is an assistant coach for one of the teams that played.

Horatio Cornblower

Luke Murray is an assistant at UConn. Some rumors about him getting a lower level head coach job next season. Not sure how reliable those are; he seems young.

WCS

comment image

scotchnaut

Old Man Rant: I just can’t get enough of white kids at the end of the bench making weird gestures after their team gets a bucket.

King Hippo

LMFAO, NC State is one of I think about 10 schools with multiple natties – and Useless Dipshit Keatts thinks this was a GREAT season. 6th place in the worst ACC in living memory, undeserved NCAAT bid, immediate and limp ejection.

But the administration has no ambition whatsoever.

scotchnaut

This was sitting there, being so frickin’ obvious. This is a fantastic arrangement, btw.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkxrCttCcHg&ab_channel=luchettodj94

scotchnaut

The only way this game could be more frenetic is if the kids snorted lines at halftime.

King Hippo

IF??? – Patrick Ewing and teammates, in unison

King Hippo

I assume that each and every Cornpone State player has explosive diarrhea today? At least the ones on scholarship?

WCS

After watching both of these squadrons at various times of the season, I can attest they play hoopsball like people pass kidney stones.

King Hippo

oh man, is that ever a PTSD thought (they had to cut mine out after 7 days of agony – though the upside was losing over 20 pounds that week)

WCS

comment image

King Hippo

You know it’s been a bad week when you are giddy to have dick surgery.

scotchnaut

What are the odds that a Uconn squadoo has a big white galoof playing center?

Horatio Cornblower

7’4″ Donovan Clingan. He’s probably good for one more year before going to the NBA. Unless the entire State comes together with one hell of an NIL deal.

scotchnaut

[resists the very strong urge to cheerleader-shame Iona]

scotchnaut

Danny Hurley with the very obvious, “Bullshit!”.

King Hippo

Can’t believe I forgot this until my 3rd rounder. But FUCK OFF, I win!

(this is the “and Fuck Tom Brady” version)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUNgHDC7r44

scotchnaut

Love the pace and intensity of I Own ‘Er/UKEon

SonOfSpam

They. Just. Know.

King Hippo

Losing this phenomenon is worth the debt and lack of sex (each until I die, but I watch fuckever I wants)

SonOfSpam

I also get food preparation, so I’m still in.

No idea what she gets out of the deal.

King Hippo

pretty sure I “won” the last 5-6 years of my shitty marriage because I was excellent about doing the family laundry

WCS

While a fantastic idea, this is also a fatal one.

yeah right

I compare marriage to buying a Buick.
I’m glad I never have to go through that shit again in this lifetime.

/ never actually owned a Buick

Gumbygirl

Don’t make her go full Dyson on your ass!

SonOfSpam
scotchnaut
King Hippo

Fundamental to all sportsball (and the guitarist is wearing a Horny Fourny shirt IIRC):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr-ahiFDkts

SonOfSpam

That’s a really good song, and yes I’m an old white guy thanks for asking

scotchnaut

But you were a young white guy when you first heard it. So there’s that.

yeah right

I saw him perform this live on this exact tour. Great song.

SonOfSpam
scotchnaut

Anyone remember Jeff Ruland, Steve Burtt and Gary Springer from those early ’80’s Iona teams? Just me? I was that kid that tried to memorize the entire Street and Smith college basketball preview magazine.

SonOfSpam

Ruland ended up coaching there a few years back

King Hippo

Coached by one James T. Valvano. Ruland was all kinds of pissed off when V took the Wolven Sort job.

King Hippo

Keylor Navas has to be like 50 years old by now

Gumbygirl

Top o’ the mornin’ to ya. I’m Stumpy O’Knuckles

facebook_1679084694371_7042591649939695815_5944944244501.jpg
WCS

Buddy knows another person named Stumpy O’Knuckles.

Gumbygirl

It’s the LAST letter of your first name, Lea Michele!

Gumbygirl

Well then, Erin Go Bragh!

BC Dick

Oh boy. Bunyan McDoodles it is.

Gumbygirl

I was born a McDoodles, but I married O’Knuckles.

Gumbygirl

My new across the street neighbor, who is either a very sweet, kind of nervous woman, or a dangerous meth head, just brought us a loaf of hot, delicious banana bread. I’m leaning towards sweet and nervous!

WCS

Check back with us in 36 hours after the bread has worn off.

Gumbygirl

How will I know? I’m high all the time anyway.

King Hippo

Not much fight in these Fightin’ White Liberals. MOAR LIEK Soy Boy Betacucks imogodbless