Per Usual: Images and links are from Lexicanum or the Warhammer 40k wiki
I thought I would give you a quick introduction to the Dark Eldar tonight (quick because I am way behind and like the Devil I am willing to make a deal) plus a good video for learning more about the different chapters of the Space Marines.
So, the Dark Eldar or Drukhari are basically the really evil versions of the Eldar (Space Elves), kinda like the Drow from DnD, but their pursuit of the ultimate in pleasure and pain gave birth to Slannesh, ended the Eldar’s immortality, and caused the death of billions of their own race.
The Eldar are a race created and nurtured by the Old Ones for the war against the Necrons. The Eldar eventually defeated the Necrons, sent them to hide and hibernate within their tomb worlds, and went out to basically rule the galaxy. As immortals they lived forever, even if their bodies were destroyed their souls would survive and allow them to be reborn in a new body. Cool huh? Well after several million years or so, eternity was getting a bit boring so some of the Eldar started experimenting with pain and pleasure, always trying to get that ultimate high or move on to a new plane of existence. Whelp, they went a little too far, at one of these little soirees – you know the scene – chips, dips, chains and whips. The monumental feedback of all this pleasure/pain fed into the warp and birth Slannesh, and like all births there was some pain and blood, mainly the pain and blood of over half the Eldar race as they died and their souls sucked out to feed the newborn god. Baby godlings gotta eat and Gerber don’t make no baby ambrosia with a side of souls sticks.
This cataclysm basically caused the Eldar to split into two groups, one being the Eldar who decided to move towards a more nature oriented lifestyle and the other the Drukhari who basically said fuck this, let’s party and fuck some shit up. After this split, the Drukhari were no longer able to subsist on granola and yogurt, nope, they needed to feed on the horror, despair, pain, and agony of some unlucky bastard (or a lot of them). And they have found ways to prolong these emotions for as long as possible. Torturers are their artists and chefs at the same time. The good ones may torture one person for weeks, drawing out every last bit of pain and suffering while keeping the victim alive and sane. These “feasts” are held in great coliseums in their city of Commoragh hidden in a pocket dimension of the webway.
Both Eldar and Drukhari still have prolonged lives and can even be reborn in new bodies. The Eldar use soulstones to capture their souls on their death, and if the soulstones are returned to the Eldar, the individual can be reborn. Drukhari are a bit different. The are reborn by the arts of the flesh artists, the Haemonculi who use the flesh of their captives to create monstrosities to do their bidding, they are the ones who regenerate the bodies of slain Drukhari – as long as enough of the body is returned to them. Slaneesh still feeds on the souls of both, either eating Eldar soul stones like popcorn or breathing in the soul of a slain Drukhari and both races fear the god. The Haemonculi form the various covens, each coven has it’s own view of reality and their place in it. We will cover those later, as well as some of the Drukhari weapons, like the Agonizer, the Amputator, the Macro-Scalpel, the Flesh Gauntlet, and the Punisher. Fun, fun, fun.
Also, there is a really good introduction to the Space Marine Chapters: You will have to click the link as they age restrict it for some reason.
And for those who loved the Assassins of Warhammer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQv1HuPdKAI
Welp, looks like it’s gonna come down to the usual suspects in terms of keeping me entertained this spring… *checks notes*
…The Knicks.
Ugh I’m still irrationally angry
It just occurred to me that the Dark Eldar are basically the Cenobites from Hellraiser.
Me, anytime the “auto off” feature on my television tells me it will be activated in thirty seconds (artist’s conception):
Second only to the Netflix “Are you still watching this?” popup.
My TV does that by itself. I get it every Sunday when I’m watching RedZone.
https://youtu.be/vhe3vSe-mmw
They better re-create this picture tomorrow
Sorry Horatio. I need the Vichy Whalers to beat the Devils next round.
Go Seattle.
I was looking forward to the Wolfpack vs. Whalers to piss him off jokes for Wumbo Wednesday.
On the plus side, I won’t have to try and persuade Mrs. Sharkbait to let me watch the Final while we’re on vacation in the Caribbean
KRAKEN!!!
Tonights view.
Here to get away for Mrs GTD’s birthday tomorrow
Taking her to the Tony Orlando show?
Nope but crazy the tours coming to the casino, some huge names
There was a little hot sauce shop in the mall tunnel maze that sold the single hottest thing I’ve ever experienced. I honestly cannot recall it’s name (probably due to some kind of mental cope mechanism), but it was definitely a verde.
Also, always chip the extra dollar or whatever for the Bonus Queens if you’re at the blackjack tables.
Good to know. Going to the casino tomorrow
My extra buck turned into over $650.
..and now we’ve got a clusterfuck in the Swamps of Joisey.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxvC-pwqdcw&ab_channel=diwrancid
How do you shoot 58% from the field, only miss a single free throw, and LOSE?
Fucking Celtics, like I wasn’t already in a shitty enough mood after spending half an hour dealing with Spectrum and getting absolutely nothing accomplished.
Plus the whole hangover thing
Yeah, that’s definitely not helping.
I have customer service hell scheduled for tomorrow. Our mortgage got sold, so it’s up to US to find our insurance info, homeowners and earthquake, and give the account numbers to the new mortgage company. Bitch, you sold the mortgage, you do the fucking work! Won’t happen, but it’s nice to dream. Then, fun with American Express. We got charged for two nights at a hotel in Orlando, while we were actually in Vegas. That’s going to be the old it’s Expedia’s fault, it’s the hotels fault pass the buck game. My blood pressure is through the roof just typing this. Fuck me. I hate being a grownup.
Hang in there Babe…
Yup, I’ve got a similar pass-the-buck game scheduled for tomorrow too. Spectrum said “call your bank” and I just know Chase is going to (rightly) say “this payment hasn’t processed yet and you set it up on *their* website; why are you calling us?”
Ice Jets with the most dangerous lead
Movie Draft: Weekend @ Bernies
Because I know no one will draft this:
Los Caballeros De La Cama Redonda:
If there’s no one dressed as a bumblebee, I haven’t seen it.
I presume that’s the gordo from El Gordo y la flaca
Close. He’s the Original Gordo!
¿Y el nuevo es quién? ¿Su hijo, nieto, cómo se dice Android en español?
¡Excelente!
Shaquil Barrett has suffered an unimaginable loss. ESPN, in the last paragraph of the story details the salient aspects of his career because, hey, it’s important!
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/36330417/lb-shaquil-barrett-2-year-old-daughter-drowns-pool
Jesus.
Next pick: Waiting
Likeable Dane Cook, Ryan Reynolds was still just Van Wilder, and before Roxy became Frank’s best hoor.
Gordon Lightfoot dead, hold your Gerry Rafferty’s close tonight.
Oh no!
THESE NEW YORK RANGERS, I CALL THEM SBEMAIL #50 BECAUSE THIS DOES NOT LOOK GOOD FOR HOMESTAR RUNNER.
https://youtu.be/7rrZ-sA4FQc
Hard-in is really making up for the loss of M. Bede.
/as a Lakers fan, not sure about any other hoopsball
My draft continues.
Clerks
Hey, get back here!
“You think it’s a joke but that advice is really hard to follow when someone waves a can of Campbell’s tomato soup at you.”
-J. Tomsula
Me too. La Risas En Vacaciones. A true classic.
Those are GREAT!
The only reason I watched these movies.
This pick’s not even supposed to be here today!
Drill, Baby, Drill against Leafs, eh? would make a fine Ice Owl
Don’t even joke about such things.
Noooooooooooolooolooooooooooooooooooo
Deep breath
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
another bbreath
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I love that David Attenbrough narration, quality
Well, shit. Gordon Lightfoot just died.
Glad I can’t read his mind at this moment.
since his songs were the only ones I knew by heart, I sang his songs instead of lullabies to the kids when I put them to bed.
Made me think of the boy, still sober, in GA and is now a manager of an Applebees
“Fellas, it’s been good to know ya.”
-G.L, to the folks surrounding his deathbed
/he didn’t look very well the last two years or so
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sSmv38nClGo&pp=ygUYZ29yZG9uIGxpZ2h0Zm9vdCBzdW5kb3du
I saw that the first time it aired. I am so fucking old.
Revenge of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Advantage: Joisey
The edible I had was insisting that was actually Josey, and I was wondering what advantage Steely Dan had.
My brain hurts. It also thinks I’m a cunt, and it has a point there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrCTNeuvmqA
Your brain is wrong. Bad brain!
Gumby just told me, and I 100% agree, that our cat is making us dumber.
Ooooh, this is interesting. How so?
Kruger and Noodles posit they just make me MOAR AWARE of how dum I be.
I picked a beautiful rose from my yard, put it in a bud vase, and the cat started eating it. I yelled at him, moved it, and he started eating it again. I can’t find a place to put it that he can’t get at it, or knock it over. He wins every damn time!
Toxoplasmosis. You’ve seen those ants that get infected with a fungus and climb up trees so birds can come eat them? It works like that with cats. You get too close to cats and pretty soon you’re keeping boxes full of shit in your house.
It’s usually a proximity effect with cats. With a kitty around, even a Noble laureate in literature will makes sentences like “KITTY TUM TUM NOSE GO BOOP FUZZZZZZZY….OMG TOE BEANS!!”
Truth.
I spend a good portion of my day on r/chonkers.
And now we’re back to the Celtics not taking this game seriously enough and blowing their lead.
Just feel like I’ve been here before, so:
This is the most intelligent basketball I’ve seen the Celtics play all season.
WICKED SMAHHT NO ONE DENIES THIS
Game 7!
Next pick:
Hocakes? well ho’s gotta eat too.
I’m still making picks in today’s draft:
I love this movie. We gotta Piper downn!
All time classic! The Hartman cameo in Alcatraz is worth it just by itself.