Feeling Hot, Hot! HAWT – Offseason Sunday Open Thread

On January 2, 1994, the Houston Oilers were leading the Jets 14-0 near the end of the first half. Houston QB Cody Carlson “fumbled at his own 18-yard line with 24 seconds on the clock.” So, obviously, Oiler defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan punched Oiler offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride.

I stand by the “obviously”. Yeah… It’s the only fight* among coaches I’ve seen in the NFL, but this was Buddy Ryan.

* fight = 1 or more punches thrown. Smith vs. Rock at the Oscars, not a fight. No punches means it’s a spat, not a fight. Nothing against spats; they can be savoUry and are delicious when heated–like Harbaugh vs Schwartz:

Getting back to Buddy Ryan: he is most deffo a finalist in the Hall of Fame of Folks Who Did Not Give a Fuck. When Buddy Ryan was Defensive Coordinator, no head coach could control him. Buddy also went against his natural enemy several days a week: his own team’s offensive coordinator who, in Buddy’s eyes, was intent on jerking around his defensive players in practice. Worse still, in the case of Kevin Gilbride: he called a lot “chuck and duck” passes during games that produced a lot of 3 & outs that gave very little breathers to Ryan’s defense. So he punched Gilbride, which is how you maintain a full-on bunker mentality.

Here’s an irresponsible generalization. Aside from success on the field, you can maintain a team’s bunker mentality when you have two things: really caring about your players and being a damn hothead. You need both to form and maintain a tight unit. When you inject reason and prudence (say, don’t cheap shot your own team’s offensive players and coaches), you lose blind loyalty. And selective loyalty is not loyalty, just business and nothing else. And! That’s where being a hothead works. A hothead passes over all self-interest to do the “right” thing through action—rash, self-righteous angry action. Another example:

That is a text from tWBS [pours 2^nd coffee, RIP man], regarding, uh… I don’t remember the details, but it had to be something that was beyond the pale even for this aberrant website.

tWBS was definitely a hothead, but he was also a hella smart guy with an immense heart, and his generosity is unmatched. Him reaching out at folks that were having problems was characteristic. If you asked tWBS for help, you got it. And I don’t know if tWBS coined “The Karen Carpenter”, but he certainly was its most dedicated practitioner.

tWBS stepped up every time a fresh post was needed for kommenters to: vent about their jobs, ridicule the NFL (league, teams AND fans), publish jet engines pics, bring it with memes or gifs, detail the sex lives of little people in New England lockers, dish obscurely, provide updates of the Yinzer Incursion into European monarchies–you know, usual DFO banter. tWBS wrote and posted whenever it was needed, but I also admired his impatience.

When dealing with another person, anybody, ask yourself:

Would you prefer that person to be honest OR be courteous towards you?

tWBS was honest. If he believed something was the right thing, he often just did it–regardless of the consequences. When inaction was the worst outcome for tWBS, he didn’t care about hurting anybody’s feelings. When something got into tWBS’s craw, it was futile to plead for reason. Or just asking him to step back FOR A GOD DAMN MINUTE ONLY JESUS CHRIST TAKE IT EASY!1!1!

In fairness, nobody here is a saint or an ascetic. (Praise Jeebus, imho.) But tWBS was the most impulsive. And that’s something I have learned to appreciate a hell of a lot. Inaction has never been my bag and hotheads consistently spur action.

Hotheads stir shit up to get something done, or cause the exact opposite to be done (which is super fun for spiteful types). Everyone values intelligence, duh. And yet, overthinking water downs or drowns action. Meanwhile, courtesy can maintain a respectful atmosphere, especially among folks who are NAWT total wackos. But when action is required, it’s fair to trust that your peers have a thick skin to confront opposing views. That’s how hotheads operate, on gut feeling to do SOMETHING–and unless that summin’ ain’t criminal, I can respect it.

Of course, when a hothead stumps for something and gets pushback or (Gamblor forbid), or gets silence or no reaction,

.

Yes, the storming out. The storming out interlocks all of a hothead’s qualities, which come together in a Voltron of “Fuck. YOU”. These qualities are:

acting up,

dejection,

door slamming,

exaggeration,

I don’t wanna hear it,

ingrate! imputations,

loudness,

past slights (fuzzy AND imaginary),

self-importance and -aggrandizing

[Reads back list] Um… At least according to erm, a monograph I read… Which was later adapted into the film Tron (1982). Always source another’s material, folks!

NFL NEWS

-Jim Brown died last Friday. The House Organ has a retrospective. The clips of his highlights show the best athlete on the field by a wide margin.Cleveland.com also references Brown’s domestic violence allegations. The article notes that a jury found Brown guilty of misdemeanor vandalism, for destroying his wife’s car with a shovel. The sentence was one year of domestic violence counseling and community service. Brown skipped both. As a result, the judge gave him 6 months in jail. Brown served four months.

-In 2022, the Bills drafted San Diego Sate punter Matt Araiza. The Bills released him in August of that year because he was facing allegations of rape. From what I remember, recent news said the incident was at a house party–but Araiza had an alibi. No criminal charges were filed. SD State also investigated,  and “concluded… there are no findings” against Araiza. A civil suit remains.

-In items unrelated to violence against women, the Steelers gave a three-year contract to Mitch Trubisky,

?!

SPROTS TONITE

All times Central

NBA Eastern Conference Finals

Celtics (0-2) @ Heat – 7:30

Las Mayores

Guardianes (Bieber) @ Mets (Verlander) – 6:00

TOP FLIGHT FÚTBOL

Any Petroleros playing tonight? Let’s find out!

Argentina

River Plate hosts Platense – 6:30

Colombia

Boyacá Chico hosts América de Cali – 6:00

Costa Rica

Saprissa hosts Alajuelense – 7:00

Ecuador

Guayaquil City hosts El Nacional – 6:00

Bolivia

Atlético Palmaflor hosts Independiente Petrolero- 6:30

Guatemala

Comunicaciones hosts Antigua – 8:00

Secsi Mexi

América hosts Guadalajara – 9:00

FINALLY,

tWBS stormed out plenty of times from here, but he never burned bridges. I don’t think he could have. tWBS gave too much, of his time and his best qualities. Plus he was hella, HELL… AAAAH funny. To put it in context, tWBS burning bridges with DFO would have to involve, mmm… Courting the sister of some folks here. Not mine, mind. In my case,

maybe after my sister dumped him and then tWBS pesters her with closure! texts for over a week. But tWBS wasn’t the burning bridges kind, not even with alleged Nazi exes.*

The only thing I’m sure tWBS would burn, on purpose, would be the telemarketing industry. Correction: from the stories he told about treating telemarketers, tWBS would have preferred napalm bombing a call center and then Agent Orange the shit out of the ashes. He was, above all, a tender soul.

*According to the scuttlebutt. Just kidding JK DON’T HAUNT ME AND PULL MY FEET AT NIGHT.