We’ve finally arrived at Week 1 of the regular season! Buckle up with a few Molsons and a bag of all-dressed chips and make yourself comfy for the summer and fall of 2023, folks.
In league news this week:
- The CFL announced a partnership this week with Pro Football Focus to help create advanced analytics, including player productivity and grading system, for the league very first time. This is incredibly exciting news – PFF has been a revolutionary source of data for the NFL and college football, and with the advent of this partnership – not to mention that their models and techniques are being adapted to work within the context of unique Canadian rules – I think this is an absolutely awesome development.
- Final cuts dropped over the weekend, and there’s always a few prominent names that raise some eyebrows whenever these lists get released. A quick sample of guys who are likely to find a new home includes the following:
- OL Derek Dennis, CGY
- WR Papi White, HAM
- WR De’Michael Harris, OTT
- K Marc Liegghio, WPG
- DB Brad Muhammad, CGY
- LB Matthew Thomas, EDM
- WR Sammie Coates, EDM
- BC traded Canadian DL Jonathan Kongbo to Hamilton in exchange for a fourth-round pick in next year’s draft. Apparently Kongbo wasn’t a “room fit”, as he apparently called out a number of BC vets for not working hard enough during training camp. Kongbo is a respected vet who’s spent time in some NFL camps, and the Lions very much wanted to make this hometown fit possible, so this is all quite curious to happen just a month into his tenure.
- BC signed Canadian RB Kienan LaFrance, who was cut by Saskatchewan at the end of training camp. They also signed QB Chase Brice, who was Trevor Lawrence’s backup at Clemson in 2020 before transferring to Appalachian State for his remaining two years of eligibility.
- Saskatchewan signed OL Colin Kelly, who spent his winter and spring playing in the XFL for the
- The Ottawa REDBLACKS signed their best receiver, Jaelon Acklin, to a one-year extension, which will keep him with the team through the 2024 season. He’ll make $245K CAD in the next year of his deal, which is a big jump from the $180K he’ll earn in 2023; at any rate, even with the big pay hike, this is still a bargain for the REDBLACKS, who have desperately needed his services as a clear-cut #1 receiver in the CFL.
- The Blue Bombers have suspended star receiver Kenny Lawler as he deals with an immigration/work visa issue stemming from his arrest for a DUI in 2021; he pled guilty to the charges and received a $1500 fine, and is not expected to be deported for this infraction. That said, this may hold up his work permit for several weeks as immigration officials deal with the requisite paperwork.
- The cool season kickoff concerts continue for CFL teams; the BC Lions announced that LL Cool J will play before the team’s home opener on June 17th, while the Montreal Alouettes have booked rockers Our Lady Peace to open their season at home on June 10th.
And with this info out of the way, onto the games!
WEEK 1 PREVIEWS
BC vs. Calgary, Thursday, June 8th, 9:00 PM EDT (TSN, CBSSN, CFL+): Bryan Burnham may have retired this past offseason, but the LioUns probably still have the best receiving trio in the league in Lucky Whitehead, Dominique Rhymes and Keon Hatcher, not to mention the likely emergence of Jevon Cottoy this year. Vernon Adams, despite having a down start in early 2022 which caused him to lose his starting job in Montreal to Trevor Harris, has a great line, a ton of weapons to throw to, and a ton of ability to improvise in the pocket – minus Nathan Rourke, he might just the ideal fit at QB for BC this year. For the home side, Ka’Deem Carey led the league in rushing despite missing a few games, and he’ll be looking to repeat that feat again this year. If the Stamps can stay healthy, they’re going to have another title chance, even in such a deep division. This is a great way to kick off the 2023 season.
PICK: Calgary
Hamilton vs. Winnipeg, Friday, June 9th, 8:30 PM EDT (TSN, CFL+): It’s a rematch of the 2019 and 2021 Grey Cup games, and it’s our first look at Bo Levi Mitchell in black and gold after a long, successful time in Calgary. Winnipeg didn’t win the Grey Cup last year, but any team that comes into IG Field is going to have a very difficult task ahead of them in trying to beat the Bombers at home. With an 8-1 record at home, not to mention a 15-3 overall record last year, the Blue Bombers remain the class of the league. I think Hamilton has done a great job of remaking their roster in a bold way, particularly after two Grey Cup defeats and an East final defeat, so an early loss this season, particularly against such a skilled Winnipeg team, should not be a black mark on their overall stature as a team.
PICK: Winnipeg
Ottawa vs. Montreal, Saturday, June 10th, 7:00 PM EDT (TSN, CBSSN, CFL+): After facing some tough starts to the year in 2021 and 2022, the REDBLACKS have arguably the ideal opponent to kick off their 2023 season. Montreal is not expected by pundits to do well this year following an offseason of many free-agent departures and ownership kerfuffles that impacted their ability to attract free agents this year, and with a new head coach in Jason Maas and new QB in Cody Fajardo, it may be a little while before the team chemistry really starts to develop. Ottawa is hopeful that Jeremiah Masoli returns to form after missing most of 2022 with a leg injury, and he’s been taking it easy through the pre-season – Nick Arbuckle is going to start for at least the first two games of the year – but they truly, desperately, wildly need their offence to be better this year. After some absolutely historic ineptitude over the last three years when the team has had the ball, fans are clamouring for improvement. A new head coach in Bob Dyce and new OC in Khari Jones are an excellent start for a team that’s looking to show it’s serious about trying to get back into the playoffs for the first time since 2018. Only one other negative note for the REDBLACKS – they’ll be missing their top LB Jovan Santos-Knox for at least the first two weeks.
PICK: Ottawa
Saskatchewan vs. Edmonton, Saturday, June 10th, 7:00 PM EDT (TSN, CFL+): What would be better for the Elks than for them to snap their 17-game home losing streak that dates back to 2019? Fans have really been through the lowest of lows over these past few years, but with such ruthless roster overhauls by GM/HC Chris Jones, it has to feel a little bit like there’s some hope on the horizon for the first time in a long time. With the defence overhauled and with a number of new receivers in town, including elite passcatcher Eugene Lewis, who left Montreal, hopefully the Elks will be able to hang closer in games than last year. Saskatchewan is similarly looking to re-establish an identity after a disastrous 2022 year where they started 4-1 but went on to finish 6-12, and with a new QB in Trevor Harris and new OC in Kelly Jeffrey, it’s a start. If the O-line can get their work cleaned up, the Riders should be well in the playoff hunt. But how deep they’ll go depends on how much they’ve actually changed – if the rot goes all the way to the top of the organization, then GM Jeremy O’Day and HC Craig Dickenson may be out of a job at the end of this season if we see similar results to last year. The Rider Nation fanbase is extreme. If you lived in Saskatchewan, you probably would be too.
PICK: Edmonton
BYE: Toronto
WEEK 1 PICKS
Reminder that this is your last chance to join the Pick ‘Em Pool before the season begins… click the link below to sign up and join! Remember, for added convenience this year, you can also install PoolTracker’s web app to your phone or desktop – it’s free and available here.
https://www.pooltracker.com/join.asp?poolid=221760
Enjoy the games, everyone. Without any further ado, let’s get to it!
THIS RECENTLY CUT TICAT WIDE RECEIVER I CALL HIM MEGHAN MCCAIN BECAUSE HE’S A WHITE HAM WHOSE NUMBER ONE COVERSATION TOPIC IS PAPI!
https://www.espn.com/college-sports/story/_/id/37821073/big-12-mexico-launches-basketball-games-bowl-plans
íPrimos hijos de puta al sur de la frontera!
didnt build the wall high enough imo
Today in Los Angeles history: So this guy was apparently quite the lothario, living with 3+ women simultaneously, and also a serious suspect in the Black Dahlia murder and one or two others. Also a high-profile incest accusation, and that moustache is not doing him any favors whatsoever. One of his sons has spent most of his life trying to prove he’s a murderer, so along with the incest bit probably not father of the year.
Ladykiller: Figuratively or Literally?
yes
O AN HE SEXXY
Found a funny:
The Indians on a remote reservation in Oklahoma asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked. “Is the coming winter going to be cold?”
“It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold.” The meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. “Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?”
“Yes.” The man at National Weather Service again replied. “It’s going to be a very cold winter.”
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. “Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”
“Absolutely.” The man replied. “It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.”
“How can you be so sure?” The chief asked.
The weatherman replied. “The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood”
Mike McCarthy gave a press conference where he said that he had no interest in being know as some kind of offensive guru.
He did, however, strongly hint that he’d like to be Blue Bunny Ice Cream’s spokesperson.
Was surfin’ through the interwebs when this caught my eye. Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words…
Wish our resident golf pro would turn up and give his opinion on this one.
Well Ackshually…IIRC, the PGA that has club pros as members is not the same organization as the PGA Tour.
This. The Saudis couldn’t compete so they just bought out the competition. I think Ratto said it best on the Distraction pod this morning, They didn’t buy a golf league, they bought access to NBC/Golf Channel, CBS, and ESPN to make their sportwashing more accessible.
Mike Pence is campaigning at a “Pizza Ranch” in Iowa and there are 71 of those restaurants in Iowa and none in California and now I’m checking real estate prices in Iowa.
You’re acting like there’s no place where you can get halfway decent pizza in Orange County.
[there is no place where you can get halfway decent pizza in Orange County]
Not true!
http://www.tonyslittleitaly.com/
I have no opinion on Pizza Ranch, but one of my fellow WoW guild members swore that it was the best pizza joint on the planet.
That is pretty awesome that you are online friends with Hunter Renfrow
/laughs at all of you in Connecticutese.
There are many ways of laughing in Connecticutese. The most prominent one is best interpreted as meaning “you’ll be hearing from my attorney.”
Unregardless, it’s a very white laugh.
I lived in Iowa and there are hundreds of better pizza places in the state.
Pfft. I’m not even sure there are hundreds of *people* in Iowa.
I have a friend who is from Whiting, Iowa. The claim to fame is that it’s where the original Children of the Corn was filmed. There were 11 kids in his graduating class. Can you imagine how badly they hated each other?
The valedictorian was the kid who could spell Iowa.
Ha, I’m pretty sure Jim was the valedictorian! He joined the Navy and got the hell out of there after graduation.
“Right, right, Jim, you’re going to join the ‘Navy’ and serve on something called a ‘boat’ that floats on ‘the ocean’. Have fun, kiddo.” – his fellow townspeople, shaking their heads at Jim’s fateful belief in fairy tales
Submarine that floats UNDER the ocean. I’m sure they thought he was insane, and were happy to be rid of him.
I don’t have an opinion on whether the pizza is good, it’s just that “Pizza Ranch” sounds magical like “Burger Brothel” or “Taco Tower”
(rushes to patent Burger Brothel)
Oh trust me, I had high hopes.
Yes, the word “high” does seem like it would often be associated with the attitude of the patrons of a Pizza Ranch.
There is a kick ass pizza place called Happy Joes if that helps.
I wonder if the Ottawa Montreal game will happen with the smokes and fires and such
The hat
The hat
The hat is on fiiiiiire
We don’t need no water, eh?
If they had only raked their forests, like the stable genius said…
What effect will this have on the poutine harvest?
new chef’s special:
Smoked poutine
we’re just sending the smoke to the basement, with the thinking that it will calm y’all down, like they do with bees
Don’t think anyone saw this coming…
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/supreme-court-voting-rights-win
Kavanaugh is a secret librul???
He was just hungover from last night.
He’s a real dickbag, but seems to have some common sense.
Kavanaugh is far from the worst Justice on the current Court, in terms of judicial outlook and philosophy, although that is a pretty low bar.
Now, when it comes to being a liar with a likely history of alcohol and sexual abuse, well, that’s a different story.
You forgot “gambling problem”.
I’ve never heard that associated with Brett, but a rich white guy with a drinking issue also having a gambling issue wouldn’t exactly be surprising.
– from some drunken weekend away with the beer bros
What a douche.
During his confirmation hearing he was also asked (by Kamala Harris, I think) whether he’d participated in D.C. area underground poker games. I doubt they would have asked if there were nothing there – I distinctly remember him saying “I’m all in” during his final screaming session.
Well, I can say for sure that he didn’t participate in most of the Maryland games during the years 2003-2008
Clarence Thomas might be a lot of horrible things, but at least he does his sexual abuse while sober at work
Like a gentleman!
Yes, pubes on a Coke can is very fancy.
Clarence is not like those plebes who put them on the store brand cola, how fucking gauche is that?
Just trying to keep the pitchforks and torches at bay.
There probably is something to that. The Court is a dumpster fire, and while Alito and Thomas plainly don’t give a shit I think Robertson does, and Kavanaugh is young enough to not want to get shot by some lunatic exercising the 2nd Amendment rights that Thomas won’t take away from anyone, no matter how openly dangerous they might be.
Meanwhile Amy Coney Barrett has to straddle the line between “jurisprudence” and “getting burned alive as a witch by her own supporters”.
She’s done well to survive so far with so many GREATEST WITCH HUNTS OF ALL TIME going on
Pat Robertson passed away. I hope he’s somewhere nice and warm.
I’m sure he’s looking up at us right now, wondering where it all went wrong.
Say hi to Hitler, Pat, you piece of shit.
At least he inspired this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8
Good. Fuck that false prophet.
Although I think religion is a sham, there’s a part of me that wants it all to be true so hypocritical fuckheads like Pat are burning in the lake o’ fire for perverting the word of Jesu.
PRIDE MONTH KILLED HIM, YAY RAINBOWS AND TARGET!!!
Thank you, @SonOfSpam, this is going to make me smile all day.
I’m rooting for Papi White…