Summer Reading – Offseason Sunday Open Thread

[Opens book]

The village of Carrasco de la Virgen settled by the banks of the river Torrente as if preordained by an indifferent god. It fell on a valley brimming with all kinds of animal life and vegetation.

 

Ooh… Angry leopards maybe?

 

Humble olive trees overwhelmed in number but there were all kinds of fruit trees. Exotic mangoes from India, tomatoes from Perú

 

[scratches neck]

 

And rows of eucalyptus trees bordered like guards an old mansion that appeared abandoned if not for a flickering light inside and a sign that read “Private Property.”

 

Alright, people, characters. Good.

 

 

Towards the horizon from the “Private Property” sign there was an old pier facing the river, which overlooked the towns of Narciso de la Sierra and the old church were services were made every Sunday with a silent solemnity.

 

[runs hand through thinning hair]

 

 

Crossing through Carrasco de la Virgen’s center through its main street, turning on each block first left then right again until you reach the estuary,

 

Like in Metroid, go on.

 

 

which takes you to Cumpiano de los Pastores.

 

[picks up phone to write names of places in notes]

 

 

Cumpiano de Los Pastores was lush in vegetation, filled with bougainvilleas of all colors: twilight orange, moon white,

 

[puts phone down]

 

 

sun yellow, mumu purple. The Mayor’s office overlooked

 

 

 Does anything happen in this fucking… [snort]

 

 [starts to flip pages]

 

 Let’s see. Parliamentary assembly [flips] confessionary [flips] symposium [flips] feline—WAIT

 

 

The wind coursed through the streets of Venancio de los Tedios like housecats looking to nip the master’s heels with feline stealth

 

 

I ask for so little in books. Entertaining dialogue. Getting to know characters through their actions, or how other characters perceive those actions. Did I say action? Shit gotta happen. Events.

 

 And also, hey. Simple settings; no Hyrule shit. A complex public transit system that doubles as an allegory of decaying lives traversing preordained roles with automatism and never opportunely—uh huh, uh huh, yeah. I’ll read the review. Don’t ask my brain to visualize spatial stuff. Chances are I will be struggling to keep memorized character names by page 35; page 20 if the writer was born from the Pyrenees mountains to the Bering Cis-Het. Notable exception: Italians by page 35, of course. They Latin OGs, you know.

 

 

NFL NEWS

 

 -Voting? On July 20, the NFL owners could vote on the Commanders’ sale. It’s a “Source:” item from espen, but mentions a memo circulated to the owners “to discuss the sale”. 24 votes are required, but the vote may not happen on that date. In any event, Green Bay’s vote will be by proxy, adopting the result of the July 19 WRJN (Kenosha) call-in poll. Voters will need proof of stock ownership or photo evidence of burning Favre Viking jersey(s).

 

 -Extended: The Buffalo Bills renewed the contracts of GM Billy Beane and HC Ron Howard, until 2027. In NFL years, 2027 = one Owl appearance by February ’25, or

 

 

 

Yes, I am 86 years old. Only emotionally [shifts muscularly in chair]. Aaahhh.

 

-Dropped: The assault charges against Davante Adams for shoving a cameraman after the MNF where the Chiefs came back 30-29. The, 😑,  “credentialed media worker’s” civil suit remains pending.

 

 To clarify: my disdain was at the phrase used to describe the cameraman. I would never sully that touchstone of justice, oracle of truth, and promoter of virtue that is the personal injury civil court. I expect the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come,

 

Amén.

 

 

SPROTS TOMKITE

 

 All times Central.

 

 Grandes Ligas

 

Fokin Astros (Brown) @ Doyers (Gonsolin) – 6:00

 

 

GOLD CUP FÚTBOL

 

México v Honduras – 7:00 (Houston)

 

 

TOP FLIGHT FÚTBOL

 

Argentina

 

Sarmiento (Junín) hosts Atlético Tucumán – 6:30

 

 

Bolivia

 

Jorge Wistermann hosts Oriente Petrolero – 6:30

 

 

FINALLY,

 

I’m a bad reader, of books. A long article, a magazine, something that does not demand more than a coupla hours to finish—I’m there. But grabbing a book and dropping it to pick it up later is

 

 

 It’s too much commitment, dammit. If the book doesn’t keep my attention enough to forgo most obligations and all chores, bye. It’s a higher bar than for people. I am not a psycho tyvm

 

Reading is parsing words. The medium matters.  Movies and film is the best. Yeah. Stop kidding yourselves, all 17 of your left in world.

 

An image can summon a story and a movie can tell it without words. You add music and then it’s cookin’. As long as I live, I would rather watch poorly acted, dreck story movies over any book going pages and pages and pages on setting, atmosphere, expository dialogue, not-that-obvious imagery, and OK maybe that’s on dumb me but fuck you anyway Faulkner graverobber. I read Cervantes you fuck. Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra you goddamn boor! And I looooooved it. HE’s a genius. Cabrón.

 

In short, Filmia is the hermaphrodite overlord of the Muses. And stories gotta have events. Though I could watch movies that are talk-a-thons. But more stuff has gots to happen than in The Breakfast Club. That’s my Equator for movie action. Off topic revisionist history: Bender’s dad was showing tough love.

 

 

Hey, good art takes you places.

 

I like plays and see folks perform live, so I got nothing against talkathons—except in books. I could swing a story of a tense conversation (let’s say… 30 pages of paperback). But it’s gotta be a hella funny or interesting conversation. If it doesn’t have humor, it better be about history, clever drama, otherworldly passion… Or Tom Coghlin’s crimes against NFL players and mirth. Now THAT could be the “Maus” of the XXIst Century. We can develop storyboards #JustSayin

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Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
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WCS

Duke WCS was Baptized today, and my vehicle broke down on the way home.

How the fuck’s it goin, boys and girls?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For some reason I can’t handle Salman Rushdie. I get maybe thirty pages into his books (I’ve tried The Satanic Verses and Midnight’s Children) and just completely check out.

Dunstan

Had a successful day of grilling. My attempt at yeah right’s homemade hamburger buns was respectable. I was the second-drunkest guy in attendance, which is the right spot to be.

As to books, I usually have one fiction and one non-fiction going, that’s sort of my limit. I don’t do as much long-form reading as I should; I’m too easily distracted. But I am ruthless about giving up on books that aren’t doing it for me. In my late 20s I embarked on a campaign of reading the Great Books, and I soon realized that you have to be willing to say that something isn’t for you no matter how acclaimed it is. Sorry, Herman Melville.

King Hippo

Moby Dick is just torture put to paper.

BugEyedBoo

I tried some of that in high school. I couldn’t finish:

  • David Copperfield
  • The Red and the Black (I’m still not sure what that book was even about)
  • Ulysses
  • Moby Dick (lost me at the 100 pages describing whales)

At the opposite of Great Books, I stopped about 200 or so pages into Battlefield: Earth. Man, that book sucked.

As for series’, I stopped reading Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series after book six. I got tired of everyone being stupid all the time, and failing to learn jack shit for four of those six books.

Dunstan

I managed to finish Wheel of Time, but it really felt like a chore for a bit. The ones that Brandon Sanderson finished up were an improvement but I would hesitate to recommend the series to anyone.

The Amazon adaptation is ok so far.

herodotus450

Buncha HEATHENS in the clubhouse it seems, discussing bookS when there’s really only ONE book, the GOOD book, the bible. Now, as to which translation, now that can be a real pickle, cause you want one that lets you stone the gays but also one that lets you marry whomever you want…

ballsofsteelandfury

So true about the ONE book:

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King Hippo

TWO is more than enough smgdh

BugEyedBoo

KJV or GTFO.

King Hippo

Sometimes, I wish I was a better person. Then, I remember how much work that is. Fuck dat noise.

2Pack

I like to read, but I’m with you on having an interest grabbed threshold. Mine is 100 pages, Im tough – but fair.

blaxabbath

Would someone please comment well enough to take the banner?

Horatio Cornblower

Banner this man!

Mr. Ayo

THIS BLAX I CALL HIM A TEENAGER BECAUSE HE’S EMBARRASSED ABOUT EVERYONE KNOWING ABOUT HIS STIFF SOCKS

ballsofsteelandfury

Done!

ballsofsteelandfury
Horatio Cornblower

Absolutely hilarious.

King Hippo

Pour one out for VLTR – as I recall, he recommended bothy “War Day” and “A Canticle For Liebowitz.”

Both absolutely life-changing good. That muthafucka could go pound for pound with me on bleakness.

yeah right

Canticle for Liebowitz was a great read.

I’ll join you in the pour.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll absolutely raise a glass to VLTR.

I mean, I was going to anyway, but he seemed like a hell of a guy.

Brick Meathook

He recommended The Prize to me, about Rockefeller and the birth of the petroleum industry. Fantastic book.

Horatio Cornblower

I always finish a book. I have no idea why, because everyone saying otherwise is right and there’s really no reason to waste time on a book that isn’t getting it done, but I still feel compelled to. It may take quite a while and be interrupted by other books, (ask me about my war with ‘Gravity’s Rainbow’), but I will get them done.

The closest I came to giving up completely was ‘Lincoln at Gettysburg,’ which I think had won a Pulitzer but which didn’t do much for me. I eventually got it done on the third try, unlike Grant at Cold Harbor.

Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have the same problem. I’m a completionist, and I’ll never stop.

BeefReeferLives

Oh, so Capt. Cheatie McOnenut is NOW all concerned with “fairness in sport”? Oh just fuck all the way off…

https://www.tmz.com/2023/06/25/lance-armstrong-backlash-transgender-sports-debate-tweet/

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, I mean I’ve seen some tone deaf tweets before but Lance Fucking Armstrong talking about someone having an unfair advantage in a competitive endeavor is the apotheosis of being tone deaf.

I would like the second the suggestion that he fuck all the way off. Does the motion carry?

ballsofsteelandfury

Carried

Brick Meathook

Here’s me driving through the “Downtown Four-Level” this morning.

This historic interchange was built in 1901, seven years before the introduction of the Ford Model-T. There were no connecting roads whatsoever until 1949, and for over 50 years it was used as a multi-level horse stable and then as a brewery, although during World War II the upper levels were antiaircraft gun platforms and armories, while the lower levels were used as open-air brothels for GIs shipping out to war. It is otherwise unchanged since it was built and now functions flawlessly as an essential traffic artery.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Traffic artery and homeless shelter.

Brick Meathook

Actually, actually look at it it: it’s clean as a whistle. I think they were all vacuumed up one night and shipped to Palmdale or Riverside County.

BeefReeferLives
yeah right

There are many books that I didn’t enjoy but a very small handful that I didn’t finish and only one that I threw aggressively in the trash.

I research the hell out of books before I commit to them which helps.

The recommendations that I’ve got from this brilliant collection of humans has been incredible.

Yes Scotchy, Perdido Street Station was one. I loved all three of the trilogy.

scotchnaut

Books that stopped me in my tracks. (by that I mean that I couldn’t pick up another book for more than a few days) The list is not in order of importance.

V. by Pynchon

Perdido Street Station by China M.

1984

The Snowman by Nesbo.

Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino

A book of essays by W.S. Burroughs (can’t remember the title)

Blood Meridian.

The Force That Through The Green Fuse Drives the Flower by Dylan Thomas (if you’re not a poetry dude you won’t understand, I get it)

Marat/Sade by Peter Weiss

Brick Meathook

My favorite book of all time is Catch-22, although I didn’t read Treasure Island or Adventures of Huckleberry Finn until I was in my thirties and they are both great and classics for a reason.

The longest book I ever read was From Here to Eternity (900+ pages) and it is also great

Books that are real “page turners,” where I picked them up and by halfway through the first page I couldn’t put them down: The Stand by Stephen King and The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown. Say what you will about Dan Brown but the man can tell a story. I just had to keep reading to see what fantastic thing would happen next. “What could possibly go wrong?” I kept asking my dog.

yeah right

I’ve read Catch 22 at least 4 times. Right at the top of my favorite list.

King Hippo

Didn’t read Huck Finn?? Did you place out of high school or sommet?

Brick Meathook

I faked my way through it, because there were TV versions of it at the time. I never actually read the book. I did read One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn in high school (jeez what a complainer) so I didn’t exactly skate through, although in fact I did.

Horatio Cornblower

I think Huck Finn should be required reading for everyone. It’s such a great novel on so many levels. I just reread it last summer.

I do, however, think that getting a version where Jim is called Jim, and only Jim, is probably necessary. And I don’t say that lightly because I hate the idea of tampering with an author’s original intent, (OK, maybe not so much with ‘Mein Kampf’), but asking Black kids in high school to get through the original, however great the book is, just seems a couple of steps too far.

yeah right

Yeah. It’s a little problematic but a great read. Yes, I read Treasure Island too. Actually it was within the last 10 years when I reread it.

Brick Meathook

Everybody should read Huck Finn, but not until they’re 30.

Conversely, keep Jim’s name the same but change Huck to a Black kid, and then everything’s okay.

Horatio Cornblower

The Stand, especially the unedited version, is fantastic, and might be one of the few books Kings was able to bring to a decent finish. He did manage to do that with ‘It’ as well, bit kind of ruined it by having 6 pre-teen(ish) males run train on one pre-teen(ish) female because that was the only way they could find their way out of the sewers.

Talk about needing an editor.

ballsofsteelandfury

I completely agree on the books. If the author hasn’t grabbed me in the first 20 pages, I’m done.

I also cannot do the putting the book down and then picking it up a week later. I will read for hours straight until I finish. At worst, I’ll go to sleep and then finish when I wake up.

Either my attention span is too poor or my life is too busy to remember shit from a week ago.

blaxabbath

No idea how people read multiple books concurrently.

Last edited 1 year ago by blaxabbath
King Hippo

I never did this until like age 45. Now I can’t not NOT do it. One by the bed, one in the terlet, one downstairs for when I’m eating or cooking.

ballsofsteelandfury

This is why you don’t like anal sex…

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll do it every now and again, but they have to be completely different types of books, and one of them is usually some heavy-lift intellectual type thing that I’m only pretending to understand, and the second one is a comic book, which I am also only pretending to understand.

ballsofsteelandfury

This is why you have a sex dwarf…

ArmedandHammered

I do it all the time as I what I read depends on my mood (over 30 books ongoing, multiple Royal Road stories, as well as all my Korean and Chinese web novels) I keep track of them as a mental exercise.

blaxabbath

I had a HEAVY rum and coke by pool just now. Sodas are a treat for me so i didn’t feel bad loading it up with DON Q CRYSTAL (the only PR rum for blaxabbath.

I’m, i think, under 90 mins to RIBS. It’s gonna RULE.

blaxabbath

God damn that was a fulfilling dinnee.

Just can’t get meat like that ordered out. Everything is so buttery or sweet.

BeefReeferLives

So, in summation: Egghead does not necessarily love his booky-wook.

Last edited 1 year ago by BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

I’m pickin’ up on what yer puttin’ down.

Life’s too short to read boring books.

BeefReeferLives

(& not trying to insult your intellectual bent, just referencing:

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Last edited 1 year ago by BeefReeferLives
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which of you recommended Leaving the Atocha Station? That was a great read.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(consider this a sub tweet of DonT’s position on books)