Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable [in bed]
William Shakespeare

Isn’t that the dream, to be good to one’s lover between the sheets? Preach on Billy boy.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Obsequious.

Horatio asked Lowratio to get him a beer from the fridge. When the latter had returned Horatio ruffled his hair and said, “that’s my little obsequious fella, good boy”.
scotchnaut

THERE WAS NO REQUIREMENT THAT THESE WORDS NEEDED TO BE USED IN A SENTENCE!!!
Horatio Cornblower

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Why am I awake at 6 am?
Gumbygirl

Because you get more done before 0900 than most people do all day.

Be
All that you can
Be

Get an edge on life…
And on Guuummm. .. beeee…
2Pack

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[deleted by user]
by inTheFarSide

WCS

One of the best cartoons ever,
SonOfSpam

Up there with Midvale School for the Gifted
Sharkbait

Another classic!
SonOfSpam

Brick Meathook

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I completely agree with all 5 HOT TAEKS at the end.

Five Guys is way overpriced. As is Shake Shack. Fight me.
ballsofsteelandfury

“I could suck down Five Guys any time!”

SonOfSpam

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Well, the band that’s… at the shopping center?—is playing Stacy’s Mom. I guess I’m dad rock now.
Senor Weaselo

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Some good hiking in Greenland. Thankfully my knee has mostly stopped being a whiny little bitch and has resigned itself to climbing up rocky hills. Not too cold and if you’re looking for the dryest way through a boggy patch remember that moss holds a fuckton of water so you’re always better off stepping on slightly puddly grass than dry looking moss.

Midnight sun plus jetlag is super dsorienting.

Doktor Zymm

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He was facing a felony battery charge in connection with a beating he and his boys administered outside a Vegas night club

DFO Clubhouse: “Hey, who among us hasn’t done this?”*

*comment made on the site in late November, 2023
scotchnaut

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blaxito wants to learn to tie shoes. I’m like, “i can’t really explain it because it’s just automatic now but it’s like this.”

What’s the method for showing kids. I tried one YouTube thing and just didn’t have the 8 minutes the director demands.
blaxabbath

I think teaching by showing is the best way.

Words get in the way sometimes.
ballsofsteelandfury

It’s probably even more difficult because he never has any clean socks to wear.
SonOfSpam

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Buncha no-good jerks….
blaxabbath

-a young Blax’s mom, sorting socks into the laundry
LemonJello

– Robert Kraft, leaving a one-star review
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I have been debating giving the NFL a miss this season and articles like this definitely weigh heavily on the “miss” side.
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/37965420/the-secret-history-dan-snyder-demise-washington-commanders-owner
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Glad to see the otters haven’t gotten you yet…
BeefReeferLives

“Yet”

-The Otters
Horatio Cornblower

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I missed the US goal because Mrs. Horatio made strawberry shortcake.

On the one hand, I missed a dramatic tying goal. On the other, more important hand, strawberry shortcake!
Horatio Cornblower

Is that her pet name for Lowratio?
Mr. Ayo

No, I’m pretty sure she called it that because it involved strawberries and shortca…

Oh goddammit, now i>I’m doing it!
Horatio Cornblower

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I’m not dehydrated, I’m just drinking the exact amount of water my body needs and therefore saving myself the trouble of using the toilet
Doktor Zymm

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Got my new Library of Congress library card today, which has got to be the Mt Olympus of library cards. I can just waltz into the main reading room, pull a reference book off an alcove shelf and plop down in a desk and peruse it in the refrigerated 65ºF comfort against the tropical swelter of a D.C. summer. Tourists aren’t allowed in “researcher” areas because they are just plebes who probably can’t read anyway and would just spoil the books with their filthy unwashed hands.

Photography is not allowed in the main reading room so here’s a photo:

Brick Meathook

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“YEE HAW IF YOU CAN’T DONE KEEP ‘EM OUT OF SCHOOL YOU MIGHT AS WELL BUY ‘EM!”
https://www.yardbarker.com/nfl/articles/report_cowboys_jerry_jones_gave_supreme_court_justice_super_bowl_ring_and_other_lavish_gifts/s1_13132_39010124?utm_source=mb&utm_medium=email&mb_edition=20230713&mb_loc=left_r

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BeefReeferLives

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I got me a full offense! What now cockwallets?
https://www.tmz.com/2023/07/13/philip-rivers-wife-pregnant-10th-child/
Mr. Ayo

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BeefReeferLives

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Sorry if this is the wrong forum for beer news, but if you like (or liked, back in the day) Anchor products, might want to get some now for a last toast to a true American brewery & Fritz Maytag.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/anchor-steam-brewing-shutting-down-san-francisco/
BeefReeferLives

I’m not aware of any forum that would be the wrong one for beer news.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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On a lighter note, my mother somewhat impulsively adopted a dog.

It’s from a friend who can’t take care of it, and while I guess its objectively better than a new puppy with a bunch of energy, this thing is still hyper as hell and very codependent, so I’m not sure this will work out
Brocky

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Redshirt: I haven’t been posting a lot recently but I sadly have a good reason. My father was recently diagnosed with ALS. I’ve been helping my mom move my dad around. My dad currently can only move with a wheelchair and a walker. We have good days and bad. He is a man of faith and a fighter, but he probably only has a few years left.

I’ll be around for football games but if I’ve gone radio silent, it’s for a good reason.

Treasure your loved ones, in the good times and the bad

Sorry I didn’t see this earlier. Stay strong brother.

.I’ve been having a rough go of it myself. My grandfather passed away a few weeks ago and today we finally laid him to rest. Weirdly we had that kind of flexibility because of his advanced age (91) and because all of his acquaintance are no longer with us.

I’m fine emotionally. He was on death’s door for a while there, it was expected, he was my last remaining grandparent. It’s been hard in my mom though, and trying to be a rock for her ain’t as easy as it sounds
Brocky

Sincere condolences to the Brocky family. Again, we’re here for a cheap laugh.
WCS

Same. It gets scary as shit when you don’t have your family elders to ask for advice.
Best man.

What WCS said.

Let us know if you need us.
yeah right

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Been nothing but hot and humid here for what feels like weeks, with thunderstorms pretty much non-stop. Last night one knocked me out of bed at 3:30, kept me up ’til 4, then the cat stormed in at 7:00, and now I’m so damn tired I don’t even want a beer.

But dammit I’m going down to the basement and getting one anyway, because that’s what heroes do.

Also I have to clean Lowratio’s litter box. The ASPCA is very strict about these things.
Horatio Cornblower

…I’m so damn tired I don’t even want a beer.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Here’s BFC and Brick at the Dew Drop Inn up in NE Washington DC, which back in my day was an open-air crack market but is now very nice. That’s not a digital effect: we are both so fucked up on craft beer that our faces naturally pixelized.

Brick Meathook

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I haven’t been posting a lot recently but I sadly have a good reason. My father was recently diagnosed with ALS. I’ve been helping my mom move my dad around. My dad currently can only move with a wheelchair and a walker. We have good days and bad. He is a man of faith and a fighter, but he probably only has a few years left.

I’ll be around for football games but if I’ve gone radio silent, it’s for a good reason.

Treasure your loved ones, in the good times and the bad.
Redshirt
[as Brocky and others have said, come here for a break and to vent when you can]

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At the start of the walk there was a guy with a boom box dancing with two absolutely stunning girls. They were on roller skates.

Did I stop for a minute and dance with them?

Yes. Yes I did.
yeah right

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It’s my SIL’s 40 birthday. How do I know? She’s trumpeting the fact across every single social media account that she has. Did she show up to our house unannounced looking for attention? (she knows that her sister is on the East Coast) Yes. Did she drag her youngest daughter along on her ‘special journey’? Hell yeah. Jesus Christ. That kid is going to grow up thinking that being needy/thirsting for attention is the norm.
scotchnaut

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My nephew and his crew just finished this.
https://www.capeannrowingclub.com/race-overview-blackburn-challenge

Meanwhile I am having trouble walking because I somehow strained my calf while sleeping.
Horatio Cornblower

Apparently the calf thing is super common. [Can confirm] Stay hydrated and don’t sleep on your stomach for prevention. 

Also, hehe, ‘coxswain’
Doktor Zymm

I’m going to Five Guys right now in honor of your nephew and his crew
ballsofsteelandfury

My sister says he’s exhausted so they stopped for clam rolls.

I replied that, after rowing 20 miles, he deserved a couple of beers.

Sister: He’s 16!

Me: I said what I said.
Horatio Cornblower

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Last night eldest son and I did our swim to the middle of the lake and then threw some gas onto a pile of pallets and had us a nice bonfire.

/later

Me: “You want another beer?”

Him: “It’s getting late, I should go to bed.”

Me: “Late? What time is it, like midnight?”

Him: [incredulous] “It’s 3:15!”

Me: “Oh shit…”
scotchnaut

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The rain forecasts here are getting more and more hysterical. Up to 11″ shown in some models for the Hartford area, 6-7″ in my area, and Deanna Favre won’t stop calling.

I’ve spent the night shoving things in the shed, taking screens out and putting storm windows back in, setting up the sump pump and hoses, and covering firewood with tarps. All of which guarantees that it will be somewhat foggy tomorrow.

That said, if I stop posting here after tomorrow it’s likely I drowned. Know that my last thoughts were likely “well this sucks”
Horatio Cornblower

Is the flooding putting out the fires?
Brick Meathook

You’re thinking of Canada. I’m in Connecticut.

It’s like Canada in that everyone is very pale and into hockey and lacrosse, but unlike Canada in that we’re extremely rude.
Horatio Cornblower

“Like Canada But Rude” should be on the Connecticut license plate.
WCS

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Just got back from the pool. It’s 114⁰, the pool felt like a bathtub. Not refreshing, boo.

Gumbygirl

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Some of you may know this but back in the day (early 20 year old era) I drove a cab. TAJ did too for a bit but it got a little too weird for him. I did it for 5 years. Couple different cities.

I really should write some taxi stories.

Anyway, one of my favorite stories involved one of the many town drunks. Smart drunks call for a fucking cab.

Pinky was one of my regulars and motherfucker would drink himself blotto on a daily basis. One day I picked up Pinky at the Goldstone and he had me take him to a liquor store. He buys a pint bottle of vodka. Got it in a brown paper bag and shit. THEN, he had me drive to the courthouse where he stashed it in a bunch of bushes.

Why? You may ask?

Because the next day Pinky has a court appearance for a drunk in public charge and he wanted some fortification.

He died less than a year later but I always loved the story.
yeah right

Yes the story is horrifying. That’s the point.

Every single one of my regular drunks died and I drove them home after one of their very last drunks. That shit sticks with you for life.
yeah right

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Happy Djokovic Schadenfreude Day everybody! Champagne all around!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m going to get a COVID booster shot to celebrate
Dunstan

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One of the frustrating things about modern tennis is the constant talk about injuries. The commentators are already making excuses for Djokovic that he might have been hurt earlier in a fall, even though he hasn’t called for a trainer or anything. Nadal, of course, is always hurt, and every match or tournament he’s in that’s the constant discussion.

I don’t doubt that the tour is really hard on bodies, and that every player is always dealing with at least some nagging injury, but… well, that’s kind of the point, nobody’s ever 100%, so let’s stop acting like that’s something unusual unless there’s a clear sign of an injury seriously hampering play.
Dunstan

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THIS GUY HORATIO CORNBLOWER I CALL HIM TOM BRADY AFTER BRIDGET MOYNAHAN TOLD HIM SHE WAS PREGNANT BECAUSE HE IS EXPECTED TO SPEND THE DAY BAILING.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Looks like the Crimea bridge got hit again.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Janay Rice knows that bridge deserved it and should apologize
Mr. Ayo

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Well into the fun part of travel disruption now, where I’ve been spending my meal vouchers on overpriced beers while swapping travel stories with some Englishmen from my flight. Got to check out the various Guyanas sometime soon, but first let’s see what I can do about changing my Air Canada flight back to the US! If anyone has a secret high speed tunnel, perhaps some sort of pneumatic tube, between Copenhagen and Madrid, now is the time to tell me about it!
Doktor Zymm

Brick Meathook

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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