CFL Beat: Week 7

After today, I have just one more day of summer band camp left to direct. I’m so close to freedom, I can almost taste it. Lady Maestro is away camping having her bachelorette weekend, and I fully intend to catch every spare second of sports I can from the peace and quiet of my basement couch. I cannot wait to lounge this summer. I deserve to pamper myself.

In league news this week:

  • The Saskatchewan Roughriders announced shortly after last week’s game that starting QB Trevor Harris is out long-term due to a fractured tibial plateau in his knee; he’ll have surgery in Regina to repair the damage. With an average recovery time of 6-12 months, it feels fairly safe to say that Harris is totally done for the year, and that’s a huge loss for a Saskatchewan team already in a dogfight for the final playoff spot in the West.
  • With both Bo Levi Mitchell and Matt Shiltz now on the six-game injured list, the Hamilton Tiger-Cats announced the signing of QB Antonio Pipkin, who was most recently with the BC Lions last year, before he became a free agent this past off-season. Pipkin’s played 27 career CFL games in Montreal, Edmonton, Toronto, and BC, and he’ll dress as the #3 behind rookie Taylor Powell and sophomore Kai Locksley.
  • Kenny Lawler will make his season debut for Winnipeg this week against Edmonton, having finally resolved his immigration issues stemming from a DUI charge from the 2021 season. While Winnipeg already has an absolutely elite receiving corps, Lawler will still improve it even more. Having led the league in receiving yards two years ago, he’s still 29 and should have several more productive years ahead of him.
  • Apparently the CFL has had some excellent Canadian TV ratings this season – according to 3DownNation, average English-language ratings are up 46% from Week 1 to Week 6, and it’s been the highest-rated slate of games since Week 2 of the 2021 season. Even more remarkable was the Calgary-Saskatchewan game, which actually outdrew the Toronto Blue Jays for the first time in a very long time. TV ratings are a stupid, fickle metric of course, as they really do a terrible job of factoring in streaming viewers – but I hope that the league will find a way to capitalize on these recent positive trends. I’m not holding my breath, however.

Onto the games!

WEEK 6 RECAPS

Hamilton 37 vs. Edmonton 29: Another home game, another loss for the Elks, who are now the owners of the highly auspicious North American pro sports record of 20 consecutive home losses, dating back to October 2019. Hamilton came alive in the second half of this game and scored 24 unanswered points to put them ahead in the third quarter. Taylor Cornelius was yanked in favour of Jarret Doege in the second half, after giving up an absolutely egregiously bad pick-six to Ti-Cats DB Stavros Katsantonis. While Hamilton battled back extremely well, it was a big blow to lose Matt Shiltz late in the third quarter, and he heads to the six-game IL, leaving the Tabbies with few remaining QB options. Edmonton now drops to a dreadful 0-6.

PICK: Hamilton

RESULT: Hamilton

Toronto 35 vs. Montreal 27: Another win, and the Argonauts are 4-0 to start the season for the first time in 40 years. Chad Kelly threw 3 TDs and ran for another while tossing just one interception, and receiver Damonte Coxie made an absolutely incredible one-handed grab in the endzone to launch himself to the top of the SportsCentre highlight reels. For Montreal, Cody Fajardo found some excellent chemistry with receiver Tyler Snead, who caught all three of his touchdown passes on the day – but up against some strong pressure from the Argos’ D, also threw two interceptions. To Montreal’s credit, they battled extremely hard against Toronto, tying up the game multiple times in the second half, but Kelly’s toss to David Ungerer in the end zone with less than two minutes remaining gave Toronto the hard-fought road win.

PICK: Toronto

RESULT: Toronto

Winnipeg 28 vs. Ottawa 31 (OT): Ottawa has, at times, been lousy. But at this point, they’re Crummy. And fans are absolutely thrilled. After a slow start, the REDBLACKS fought back valiantly, with fourth-string QB Dustin Crum, now thrust into the starter’s role, leading the charge in the second half. Down 16 late in the game, Ottawa DB Brandin Dandridge snagged a Zach Collaros pass and returned in 25 yards for the pick-six, and with a successful two-point conversion, the REDBLACKS were now just eight points back with little time remaining. After forcing a Winnipeg punt, Ottawa got the ball back and had one final opportunity to try and tie the game. Cue the Crumback, folks. With no open receivers, Crum called his own number and ran the ball in from 12 yards out, then found Nate Behar in the end zone for the two-point conversion… and with nine seconds left, we had a tie ball game. In overtime, the Bombers opened with possession and kicked a field goal after Zach Collaros was sacked and lost 11 yards, but Ottawa managed to pull off the miraculous comeback when Dustin Crum again called his own number and scampered 29 yards for the winning score of the game. What a crazy game. We’ll be remembering that one for years to come no matter what Crum turns out to be in the CFL.

PICK: Winnipeg

RESULT: Ottawa

Calgary 33 vs. Saskatchewan 31: What a bummer of a game for the Riders – truly a worst-case scenario. Trevor Harris suffered his broken leg after getting rolled on by Stamps OL Derek Dennis, and while Mason Fine performed admirably in relief of him, the Stamps avenged their Week 3 loss to Saskatchewan with a walk-off 50-yard field goal by Rene Paredes to seal the deal. Saskatchewan was lucky to get two amazing return TDs from Mario Alford, who showed yet again why he’s one of the league’s elite kick returners – but with Harris in the game, the offence had difficulty moving the ball. They also had a late Hail Mary TD from Mason Fine to Tevin Jones that had the home fans convinced they’d eked out another win – right up until Paredes split the upright for the Stamps, that is.

PICK: Saskatchewan

RESULT: Calgary

BYE: BC (4-0)

WEEK 7 PREVIEWS

Edmonton (0-6) vs. Winnipeg (4-2), Thursday, July 20th, 8:30 PM EDT (TSN, CFL+): Boy, the Elks are screwed. I think I’ve said that consistently over the last several weeks, but it really is remarkable to see how much of a hole they’re in just a third of a way into the season. Did Tre Ford kick Chris Jones’ dog? Is that the reason why the coach is so reluctant to start him at QB? Or is that Canadian passport more of a reason why? I don’t think it’s the latter, but I’m struggling to think of any other possible reasons. Guaranteed second year or not, Taylor Cornelius is clearly not it for Edmonton. Something’s gotta give. Going into Winnipeg is probably not what this team needs right now. With the way the Bombers collapsed so unexpectedly last week, it seems pretty likely that they’re not taking Edmonton lightly this week, no matter how atrocious they are.

PICK: Winnipeg

Toronto (4-0) vs. Hamilton (2-3), Friday, July 21st, 7:30 PM EDT (TSN, CFL+): In another fortunate stroke of luck for the Argos, the Tiger-Cats will be forced to start rookie QB Taylor Powell for this game, as both Bo Levi Mitchell and Matt Shiltz are on the six-game injured list right now. That’s a tough blow for a Tabbies team that hasn’t had good luck with injuries this year. With the Argos continuing their run as the league’s only unbeaten team, I don’t really see this Hamilton team, particularly in their current state, breaking this streak any time soon. The Double Blue truly are humming on all cylinders right now, especially QB Chad Kelly, who posted the highest single-game player efficiency rating of the entire CFL season, as measured by PFF – he finished the game with a 93.4, not to mention a passer rating of 141.7.

PICK: Toronto

Saskatchewan (3-2) vs. BC (4-1), Saturday, July 22nd, 7:00 PM EDT (TSN, CBSSN, CFL+): With QB Trevor Harris almost certainly done for the year, this is the first we’ll see of Mason Fine under centre for the Roughriders this season. Saskatchewan may be in a playoff spot right now, but up against a tough Lions team, and with Calgary nipping at their heels (not to mention fewer injuries right now), their fortunes could soon well change. The Lions looked like their old selves against Montreal before their bye week this past week, and with their strong performances at home, I see no reason to pick against them in this situation. So long as Vernon Adams, Jr. doesn’t go full Mr. Hyde, I guess.

PICK: BC

Ottawa (2-3) vs. Calgary (2-3), Sunday, July 23rd, 7:00 PM EDT (TSN, CBSSN, CFL+): Back in Week 2, the Stamps claimed victory over the REDBLACKS in part due to an atrocious game at QB by Nick Arbuckle. With Dustin Crum the starter for the time being moving forward, I think we’re going to see a much different Ottawa team against these Stampeders than we did back in June. It’s true that Calgary remains effective at running the ball, so even with a strong Ottawa run defence, they’ll have their hands full. Ultimately, the team that wins the turnover battle is probably going to walk away as the victor in this one. Dustin Crum sure has had some magic to him these last couple weeks – I’d really love to see if he’s for real or simply just a flash in the pan. I really, truly am rooting for him, though.

PICK: Calgary

BYE: Montreal (2-3)

STANDINGS AND STATS

East Division Standings

Team Games Wins Losses Points For Points Against
Toronto 4 4 0 155 96
Montreal 5 2 3 106 111
Hamilton 5 2 3 115 164
Ottawa 5 2 3 97 101

West Division Standings

Team Games Wins Losses Points For Points Against
BC 5 4 1 136 85
Winnipeg 6 4 2 162 133
Saskatchewan 5 3 2 116 128
Calgary 5 2 3 111 124
Edmonton 6 0 6 91 157

Passing Yards

  1. Collaros, WPG – 1615
  2. Adams, Jr., BC – 1540
  3. Fajardo, MTL – 1401

Passing TDs

  1. Collaros, WPG – 11
  2. Adams, Jr., BC – 9
  3. Harris, SSK – 6

Rushing Yards

  1. Oliveira, WPG – 416
  2. Butler, HAM – 329
  3. Morrow, SSK – 322

Receiving Yards

  1. Mack, MTL – 458
  2. Schoen, WPG – 431
  3. Julien-Grant, MTL – 415

Defensive Tackles

  1. Awe, CGY – 46
  2. Dean, SSK – 37
  3. Morgan, EDM – 36

Sacks

  1. Betts, BC – 9
  2. Jefferson, WPG – 7
  3. Vaughters, CGY – 5

Interceptions

  1. Houston, WPG – 4
  2. Evans, MTL – 3
  3. Daniel, TOR – 3

Field Goals

  1. Ward, OTT – 15
  2. Whyte, BC – 13
  3. Castillo, WPG – 13

PICK POOL

This has really turned into a race for second place. BC Dick is just absolutely crushing the field after this week. We’ve got some serious work to do here. Not a perfect score to be seen this past week.

Remember to submit your picks here! https://www.pooltracker.com/join.asp?poolid=221760

Rank Total Points Weekly Score Win Percentage
BC Dick 20 3-1 86.96%
The Maestro 15 2-2 65.22%
blaxabbath 15 3-1 78.95%
Ballsofsteelandfury 15 2-2 65.22%
WCS 15 0-4 65.22%
SonOfSpam 14 2-2 60.87%
Mr. Ayo 14 1-3 60.87%
Game Time Decision 14 2-2 60.87%
Litre_cola 14 2-2 60.87%
BugEyedBoo 13 1-2 56.52%
Gumbygirl 12 1-3 52.17%
Tank Bricklayer 5 0-4 26.32%
The Revanchist 2 0-4 8.70%

Enjoy the games, everyone.

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The Maestro
The Maestro is a mystical Canadian internet user and New England Patriots fan; when the weather is cooperative and the TV signal at his igloo is strong enough, he enjoys watching the NFL, the Ottawa Senators & REDBLACKS, and yelling into the abyss on Twitter. He is somehow allowed to teach music to high school students when he isn't in a blind rage about sports, and is also a known connoisseur of cheap beers across the Great White North.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/author/the-maestro/
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TheRevanchist

So far, these WWC games have been competitive.

WCS
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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SonOfSpam

What’s interesting is that now I really do want Jim Caviziel crucified.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not that I disagree, but that’s Willem Dafoe.

SonOfSpam

Oh I know. He’s cool.

blaxabbath

Great. Now Snyder can hire that Wagner guy from Russia….

BeefReeferLives

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“Iraqi protesters angered by the burning of copies of the Quran in Sweden stormed the Swedish embassy in central Baghdad, scaling the walls of the compound and setting it on fire.”

“We are mobilised today to denounce the burning of the Quran, which is all about love and faith,” protester Hassan Ahmed told the French news agency AFP at the embassy.”

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/7/20/protesters-storm-swedish-embassy-in-baghdad-over-quran-burning?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

WCS

If humanity is the pinnacle of evolution, I’m asking for a refund.

Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

Cats are the pinnacle of evolution!

BeefReeferLives

Of course they are! (Just ask any cat)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is there any religion that is objectively less “fun” than Islam?

Doktor Zymm

That sect of Hinduism where you can’t swat mosquitos. But most Islam is actually plenty of fun, if we’re going to compare just the extremists then I would say it’s pretty close between Islam and US Evangelicals.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Perhaps I am misinformed about Islam but most of the things I thought I knew about it don’t sound like very much fun at all.

BeefReeferLives

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BugEyedBoo

Evangelical Christianity is making up ground while coming down the stretch!

WCS

Calvinism is known for how much “fun” they have.

BeefReeferLives

“Calvinball” is great fun!!

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BeefReeferLives

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Last edited 9 months ago by BeefReeferLives
Brick Meathook

I’m going to nominate The People’s Temple of Jonestown as being the least fun religious sect of them all.

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WCS

Branch Davidians knew how to host a barbeque.

Senor Weaselo

I like this “radical Islam” better!
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Gumbygirl

How the actual fuck am I behind BugEyedBoo in this stupid, stupid pool? He didn’t even pick one of the games last week!

BugEyedBoo

lol I saw that. WTF? Am I too lazy to push a button?

(Actually, I think I forgot and didn’t get to it until Thursday evening.)

SonOfSpam

THIS PICKS POOL I CALL IT A BUNCH OF GAY CAVEMEN BECAUSE WE’RE ALL CHASING BC DICK.

BC Dick

I’ve had that dream before. It’s not my favourite

BeefReeferLives

“NO ZUG ZUG!!!”
-BC Dick

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2Pack

I’m questioning my continued support and interest in Montreal. But I trust this bye week will get them back on track.

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blaxabbath

“”Surgery in the Regina sounds like the Michael Sam Special amiriteguyz?”
– Jon Gruden”

– Sill Bimmons

Game Time Decision

maybe
-Peter K.

BeefReeferLives

Whelp, a fairly tasty burger IIRC, but I’ve had my last from In n’ Out.
Not letting an employee protect themselves (or a sick loved one)??

Fuck them and their high handed, corporate bullshit.

https://www.npr.org/2023/07/19/1188706519/in-n-out-burger-bans-employees-from-wearing-masks

Last edited 9 months ago by BeefReeferLives
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, I was pretty miffed at that, too. Like, they’re not allowed to protect themselves and their customers? It’d probably help them avoid getting as much grease on their faces and the associated skin problems. Smells like the work of BIG CLEARASIL.

blaxabbath

Californians are always in the bag with BIGOXY.

King Hippo

Hippo’s ears perk up

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought that BIGOXY was what West Virginia residents called the woman who works in their local pharmacy.

blaxabbath

Unemployment is low and it’s a seller’s labor market. Ain’t no reason these workers don’t have other options and, personally, I think the nation has enough burger flippers. I’m glad In N Out is making it policy — gives everyone clarity. I always hate hearing about the, “well the corporate rule was X but managers made it clear that X would not be practiced.” And then the business is like, “we had to break or own policy bc otherwise people wouldn’t come in!”

Also In n Out is quite overrated. It’s an icon for the sake being an icon. Especially now that FOODIECULTURE has brought a market for better fast casual burgers. In case you all wondered what blaxabbath thought about the debate the other day….

ballsofsteelandfury

Maybe overrated but it’s still half the price of the FOODIECULTURE burgers at comparable quality.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah I think pound for pound (ed. note: those are the limey version of “dollars”) it’s the best quality/value ratio you’ll find for a chain restaurant burger.

BugEyedBoo

I beg to differ.

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King Hippo

all aboard the SWAGwagon!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think I might have gotten on a stop early.

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BugEyedBoo

Shiba!

BugEyedBoo

Speaking of little shits, our shiba caught another baby rabbit (little bigger this time) yesterday for me to put out of its misery. Poor thing was disemboweled.

Doktor Zymm

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I presume you already know about this site, but if not…

https://morbotron.com/

ballsofsteelandfury

I searched “bender hot tub” and not one of the results featured bender in the hot tub with robot floozies

ballsofsteelandfury

Google, on the other hand, returns this as the first result:

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s not how Morbotron works. It works the same as Frinkiac, you have to type in a relevant quote.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ah!! I learn something every day!

ballsofsteelandfury

Okay, I tried “Cheese it!” from the episode where Bender goes to college and I didn’t get it.

Maybe it doesn’t like me…

Last edited 9 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s there, just not the very first result. It was a catchphrase for a while so it’ll show up a lot.

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Doktor Zymm

New Futurama starts next week apparently!

ballsofsteelandfury

BC Dick must be banging a CFL cheerleader or something. He HAS to have inside info the rest of us don’t…

Game Time Decision

BC Dick is bowling with a CFL cheerleader.

King Hippo

of Jamaican ancestry

BC Dick

We can do both