There’s only two tilts today but thankfully the scheduling wizards didn’t have them going at it at the same time. I like small victories.
To The Games!
Chefs/Saints:
-Coach Allen maintains that most starters (minus Michael Thomas, natch) will make an appearance so that’s nice.
-So many folks slag on Derek Carr but his career 217/99 TD/INT number isn’t that bad. Sure it’s just one stat but he seems to be like Cousins in that folks always talk about what he can’t do as opposed to what he can. Look, there are merely competent qb’s out there and fans should realize that not having your team experience a qb carousel over a period of years is actually a good thing.
-Mahomes will be starting as well and fantasy goobers will try to determine who his fave wr is over the course of one quarter. You can see the folly in that.
-Speaking of, UDFA Justyn Ross has excelled in camp but he’s just practice squad material.
-Evergreen comment: Kadarius Toney is injured.
Niners/Raiders:
-L.V. held 13 players out of practice on Friday which seems like quite a bit.
-I had a brain fart and had to look and see who the Raiders qb is. Ahh, it’s Jimmy G. (note: “brain fart” is actually creeping dementia, I’m sure)
-Receiver Adams went down with a shin ouchie so I took a gander at the rest of the unit and the words “cromulent” and “thin” came to mind. Meyers was the ‘big’ signing and he has all of 8 TD’s to show for the last four years, 80% of them coming in the previous season. UGH!
-Much like everyone outside the Niners organization, I’ve seen very little of Trey Lance. Unlike others, I don’t have an opinion about his game or prospects.
-Looking for that McCaffrey handcuff? Tyrion Davis-Price has improved his stock the most in camp.
I read the first sentence as “there’s only two tits today” and I was thinking, “isn’t that usually the case for married guys?”
Speaking of married guys and tits
The Webb Telescope found a thing that doesn’t know what it is
Just The Riddler Galaxy.
Enhanced image:
https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/38187886/mlb-looking-social-media-posts-involving-rays-wander-franco
Rays gave away a Franco hat to fans 14 and under today, and I can’t improve upon that.
“It really doesn’t seem like Wander Franco’s time in the minors resulted in any kind of positive growth…as there’s a drive into deep left field, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4–0 ballgame.”
Obviously, that was Castellanos hitting.
8th grader, to be more exact. Per Tik Tok.
Matt Gaetz is torn: no problem with the age, but Franco is an immigrant…
He’s taking his job!
Been applying for jobs and wow there are a lot of companies out there that I have never heard of and I’m still not sure what they do after looking at their website
Go for a big company, like Meta.
Tik Tok is hiring a lot right now and I’m kind of torn because they have a horrible reputation for being high stress, but they also pay a metric shitton.
and you can learn China’s kewlest secrets!!
I’ve done that “Any 80 hours a week you want,” thing, no thanks.
HyperCompuGlobalMegaNet is on the cusp of quantum fiber paradigms.
What do you know about knives?
Chelski have a dude named “Malo Gusto” – tell me that doesn’t sound like espanol slang for a cabbage fart
I think it means he really likes Mallo cups.
Who doesn’t?
Aight. Just fired off the Jaguras preview to the Right Reverend.
DDDDUUUUUUVVVVVAAAALLLLLL y’all
Okay, so it wasn’t my plan to hit the bottle hard today, but…that may end up being what happens*. Pray for Rikki.
*not for any negative reasons other than me being a degenerate who doesn’t know when to stop.
Did you see the way that bottle was dressed? It was asking to be hit. It’s not your fault.
That’s a perfectly cromulent reason
when in doubt…inebriate
Other Hippo would comment, but he’s passed out in the bathroom stall.
that do sound like his ass ,, chuh chuh
Pretty sure I have an ulcer or pancreatitis again. Damn it.
Damn, dude. That sucks.
You can probably fix it yourself with a steak knife and a YouTube video. Unless you’s some kind of PUSSY
Neither of those options sound pleasant, hope you feel better
Is there a 3rd option?
Don’t know. Based off of black stool for 2 days in a row and an upset tummy, has to be an ulcer. Pancreatitis is a possibility from history.
I made one of those meals where I broke out all of my techniques and cook memory and produced something extraordinary.
This baby was incredible.
You’ll see it here in two weeks.
I’m just so damn worn out after last week that I didn’t go back for seconds and that’s just not like me. At all.
You’ve got lunch lined up.
Alas, it was most definitely NOT vegetarian so TAJ gets the leftovers.
I’ll probably grab another couple of bites in a bit.
Mail me what doesn’t get consumed.
Yeah Right’s latest creation (artist’s conception):
Is this called a Maestro?
That does seem like a good name for it, doesn’t it?
Martini time!
I bet a dime.
So I was watching a youtube video where Danny DeVito breaks down his roles and apparently Martini was a veteran whose bomber had been shot down and was sinking, and that’s why he’s always perched on stuff, especially as the tension rises, because he’s reacting to his perception of rising water.
In the Ken Kesey book, when they steal the fishing boat and one of the patients drives it, they bring it back to the dock with the police and doctors waiting and the patient executed a perfect docking. The other fishermen compliment his seamanship skills, and he tells them he was a PT boat skipper during the war.
THANK YOU
I haven’t read it in probably two decades; I could NAWT recall the specifics.
That was a great read.
I talk about what Cousins CAN do, he CAN blow prime time games in spectacular fashion!
Hey, they heard you like playoffs, so they put a playoff in your FedEx playoffs
Moar like CantPlay
Cities that spell it “Los” walk like this, while cities that spell it “Las” walk like this.
…well, it killed at the Apollo.
– Joe Burrow, Herndon Hooker
A bit more about the difference between synthetic opiates and all-natural Taliban poppy opiates:
Synthetic opiates come with a ten page warning sheet detailing all the potential mental & physical side effects. Natural opiates have a one sentence warning: don’t take too much.
…oh ffs.
Where’s Rikki? Washing and ironing his RAIDERS NATION bandana(s)?
I just had a proscuitto and arugula and cheese sandwich and washed it down with a glass of sauvignon blanc. This is fresh after having attended a piano concert last night. I’m at peak classiness for the year.
Classy motherfucker, no doubt!
You’re at Peak Bay Area
Oh, so it’s the formal bandana tonight.
This O’Connell kid may be fucking legit for the Raiders. Couple of really nice drives.
THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!
[slaps O’Connell on the ass, hard, then gives him a liter of cola]
Oh wow. Doppelganger!
Enough to make me want to get a “RAMROD” jersey if he makes the team.
He doesn’t want a “large O’Connell,” he wants a goddamned “litre O’Connell.
Just got home, turned on the game and had totally forgotten about…
…damn, our boy is gonna look good in silver and black. (More good, anyway.)
Glad to see yinz!
Thank’ee, kind sir! Glad to be back here with all of you.
GO NYNURZ *drinks*
Also: That black stadium is going to have some hellacious A/C bills. Not that Marky Mark cares, of course
Yay, Petronel is here!
Hey, when did that Re…uh, special young man, Touch of Downs move to San Francisco?
I was just wondering about that too.
Eli?
No, Hey Darnold!
Ah, our goddess SHANK’LHOR makes her preseason presence known in Mark Davis’ bounce house.
They showed that kicker’s stats from college. I was not impressed by that. Probably should have kept those stats to themselves.
“His 40 time is the only stat I care about!”
-muffled response emanating from Al Davis’s mausoleum
HI I’M MARK DAVIS AND WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE?
Interviewer: “Christopher, have you ever prayed?”
Hitchens: “Just once, for a hard-on.”
My Chief takeaway from this game? Even the third team of (eventual) KC castoffs can outscore you.
My take: KC looks good. And we had two Fresno State QBs on the Saints side and one receiver on the KC side. The first preseason game I enjoyed.
Why do I think that Bijan Robinson will lead the league in rushing next year? Because Arthur Smith. At Tennessee he was the one that finally got King Henry going. At Atlanta last year the rookie Allgeier was a 5th rounder that did very little before week 9. Afterwards his yards per carry increased to 5.64 and he ended up rushing for 1,035 yards. Smith is going to run the ball no matter what.
So he’ll comfortably lead the league in rushing until the last month of the season or so and lose it to New England’s RB1?
48 hours after moving my kid into his apartment, it would seem that my lower back is just a mass of squirrels that have just ingested copious amounts of Red Bull.
scotchy’s back has wiiiiiiings!
Ouch, I’ve found aspirine, beer and some mild exercises help with those. Also, I guess you learned your lesson on why that saying (“no good deed…”) is a thing 😛
I have told my kids…look y’all have friends. Use them. If you need to come to me for cash to slip/beer them, that is totally ok. But my body is all out of house moves. The one out of my “divorce house” to where I now live (and will die) took the very last drop out of me.
Hit the Motrin for a couple, three days.
Take a Motrin and walk it off. aka the Marine’s guide to anything short of a 105mm shell to the face 😀
And add “change your socks” in the case of a 105 to the face.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXnM6BRl-s8&ab_channel=BryantWong
Yes, yes Army, not Marines. Message is the same.
Some Maalox to wash the Motrin down!
If the NSAIDs ain’t cutting it, go to the doc tomorrow and get a scrip for some cyclobenzaprine or similar muscle relaxer.
If the aspirin\ibuprofen\acetaminophen ain’t cutting it, maybe go to the doc and get a scrip for some cyclobenzaprine or similar muscle relaxer.
(earlier attempt to post this got flagged, 2nd try)
Here’s a fun fact about me: I am allergic to aspirin and NSAIDS. If Tylenol ever stops working, I am totally screwed.
Not at all! Welcome to opiates.
Also, never settle for synthetic, like Gabapentin. Insist on real Taliban-poppy opiates.
I think I’d better stick to weed. I tend to go all in.
ok, 3rd time trying to post this.
If the aspirinibuprofenacetaminophen ain’t cutting it, maybe go to the doc and get a scrip for a muscle relaxer tomorrow.
hmm. looks like wordpress didn’t like the particular muscle relaxer (that has worked for me when I have fucked up my back) that i named in earlier attempts to post.
c y c l o b e n z a p r i n e
There. Yea. Take that, wordpress, ya prude!!
– how the Lahaina fires *really* started
You know what’s good for that? WEED.
It can never be a truly worthless day when the Redshite filth drop points.
Though they could’ve gone the extra mile and actually lost to Chelski.
True, that was the silver lining to the cloud. Not that I particularly favoUr Chelski joy, neither. But I like Pochettino ok, I guess.
So this weekend is the 50th anniversary of the birth of hip-hop. So in honor of that…
https://youtu.be/zhUnEg0he4A
a reminder to all honkies to diversify our booooonnnds
WTF is with WordPress lately? Second time I tried to make a simple one letter edit, and when I press save I get this, slow down you are posting chit too quickly… message… Over… And over… Even after waiting a minute or so.
Anybody else getting that?
Everybody is getting that. It’s annoying.
Let’s all just resolve to put up with each others misspelled chit… shall we?
Football! I fucking love football!
How do I love it? Let me count the ways (Elizabeth Barrett Browning) It hath charms to soothe the savage breast (William Congreve) it restoreth my soul (Psalm 23) It’s hawt (Paris Hilton). It makes me feel like dancing ( Leo Sayers)
There are more, but I’m busy watching football!
Ms. Browning is still vying for the Burrow backup jerb, too!