I hope the early fixtures amused and/or delighted you. Here’s a 2nd helping, getting up limbered up for tomorrow’s MANDATORY 14 hours of NFL glory.
Ballsy: I’m back! I do not guarantee attendance at tomorrow’s mandatory Footy. I will do my best, Mr. Hippo, but I needs my beauty sleep!
Kenfucky (+14.5) at Georgia (7:00, ESPN)
Prove It week again for the Blue Moons, between the hedges against a vulnerable Jawja squad. Kenfucky never, ever capitalizes on circumstances like this. But this seems like waaaayyyyy too many points, and I feel like UGA just might see its luck run out this week. Thanks in advance for the Cats making me look like a dumbass.
Ballsy: I always read Hippo’s “Jawja” as “Jawa” and that gets me thinking of Jabba The Hut and that gets me thinking of this:
Which leads to
And then I forget what we were talking about.
Michigan (-19.5) at Minnesota (7:30, NBC)
Really hope for something, ANYTHING to shake things up in the B1G. But one suspects we will be waiting for 2024 on that front (all the new “middle class” teams).
Ballsy: USC is going to come visit you in North Carolina and take away your pills if you call them middle class again. Go ahead, USC DARES YOU!
Fresno State (-6) at Wyoming (8:00, Fox)
This is Wyoming’s SECOND network TV, primetime showcase. They beat Guns Up! in a CBS-aired thriller, now they get a chance to ruin Fresno’s Cinderella run. Looking forward to a tough, physical battle.
Ballsy: Our local Fresno State fan will let us know if the Bulldogs will cover. These Bulldogs are much cooler than the Jabba The Hut kind, but are their cheerleaders hotter? You decide!!
Texas Tech (-1.5) at Baylor (8:00, ESPN2)
Sometimes, you just need to highlight a fun, shootout-type game. This is one of those nights (plus the cheerleaders).
Ballsy: You said cheerleaders? Also, FUCK YEAH cowboy boots!
Oregon State (-9.5) at Cal (10:00, PAC-12)
Again with the PAC-12 network bullshit. The only even slightly watchable Tweaker Fixture, no less. Cal is a tougher out than usual, and Niiiiiiiice Beaver could use a “no drama” road win.
Ballsy: I guess the Beavs are trying to drive up the value of the PAC 12 Network before it becomes their and Washington State’s property? Good luck with that!
/ checks box on “post armpit fetish pic” row
// closes “DFOTODO list.xlsx”
That was a crazy ending
Dang USC! OT2? I had the sound down!
This wouldn’t happen if I was there. Just saying.
I’ve got a weather board down below (assembled in Photoshop) that I don’t see enough likes. Just sayin . . .
If you could slide a little Seattle tile in there, that might help.
It ain’t SoCal but I’ll see what I can do
I gave a +1!
I know! Thanks!
My posts have the most effort behind them but get the the least likes.
Try clicking the “like” button once in a while. I know you’re out there.
My content is all free, mostly tests, lots of man hours, I just want a Neilson score.
https://vimeo.com/715267604?share=copy
Just post up some Achwood strips. Those are always a big hit around these parts.
Honestly, what is your deal with Achewood? If you don’t like it just ignore it. You act like it sexually assaulted you.
I’m just trying to get your +1s ups. I’m here to help, man.
We’re going to meet one day, Ayo. And I’ve got a present for you, because I’m a cool guy like that. I’m either going to give you an Achewood book or else a decent manual on engine lubrication principles and practices.
Can’t wait!
Betcha can’t! Now go down the line here and let’s see some +1s
You got it buddy!
Hey, I +1ed the weather board!
Found a funny:
Okay folks, one last look at the DFO SoCal Weather Board!
Well now, who’s chillin’ and who’s illin’?
Glendale, Pasadena, and Anaheim have finally achieved beach weather. The Inland Empire just can’t let go of that heat, but Peedro looks quite nice.
And Playa is practically Stalingrad right now. Dammit I’m wearing shorts!
Thanks for playing and remember to drink heavily for a better life. See ya!
I need to go outside now. It’s hot inside the house!
Needs more Stephen Miller as Salacious B. Crumb.
And Steve Bannon as this guy.
OMG that’s so good!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=h0VO5KujUq_GJ–4&v=_MCJBr0t_qk&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKCucBUWx5o
You don’t smell like a peasant, you don’t dress like a peasant, and you’re certainly not on fire like a peasant!
For those who didn’t see the end of MIA/GT:
1) Miami ran the ball, with GT out of timeouts, up 20-17. GT was out of timeouts, it was NOT 4th down.
2) GT strips the ball out at their own 25-ish, recovering with 26 seconds to play. Runner was close to down, but they let it stand. Maybe because Cristobol’s stupidity deserves punishment?
3) GT gets the ball spiked at MIA 45, 10 seconds left.
4) QB rolls out right, sees a deep WR wide fucking open behind the defense, it’s complete and he can walk into the end zone.
5) For some moronic reason, WR starts to half-ass baseball slide as he goes into the end zone.
6) They DO replay the slide element, but call stands again. There is more chucklefuckery, but I am tired of typing. Da U loses at home.
https://twitter.com/LoganABrown/status/1710862466526392646
I feel like there’s a “When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong” thing here.
7) Miami crowd immediately throws trash on the field
That…. is not an accurate headline
The meeee-djia is always shocked when ND trips over its dick like this. Even though they do it roughly 19 out of every 20 years. AT LEAST once.
Happy Notre Dame Schadenfreude Day!
I’d like to also point out that the real Fightin’ Irish won 36-14 today.
Nice showing, you mangy Scot gits.
LOLCanes
A truly incredible choke job
Troi Boiz will graduate
tobeyond the middle class of the B1G….when they stop pulling shit like THISFat Guy INT!
Not even close to a TD. You expect that man to run 50 yards!?
time his 40 with a sundial, but surprisingly nice hands to seal the win. GOOD JERB, Hippo’s muthaland!!!
Sundial my ass, you need a calendar to time that man’s 40.
And I love him for it.
Made some chicken tinga enchiladas today.
Little beans on the side.
Living Pedro life, Holmes
I can’t close this one out
THIS NOTRE DAME I CALL HAMAS BECAUSE THEY ARE RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST THAT…
there’s a blowing/blowing up pun to be made, I just can’t quite articulate it neither
With this loss Notre Dame moves up to #8
Somebody didn’t say their prayers before the game.
oh Lord, how I love reading angry Domers comments after a really bad loss
I love when defenders are angry with themselves for dropping fourth-down interceptions which would have actually dealt their team *worse* field position if they had caught it.
Touchdown Notre Dame!
“A correctly called penalty against Notre Dame that negates a big play? Oh, that referee is going to wake up with a coathanger in his bed tomorrow morning…” – a very angry Amy Coney Barrett
So I walk into the basement today.
My 15 year old is sitting with his friends.
It’s 1 pm.
“Why is there an open beer on the table?”
“Oh, that’s from last night.”
I pick up the beer. It’s ice cold.
I’m doomed.
Did you teach them a lesson by shotgunning it?
I have to hand it to him, he is an expert in shotgunning.
As punishment you should make him watch two full episodes of Emily In Paris. And of course to ensure he actually watches them you’re going to have to chaperone.
Mrs sharkbait is deep into that now. Its…something
Maybe tell your kid that if he gets drunk in your house at 15 and one of his friends gets hurt as a result he has financially fucked his entire family, because I promise you that not only do you do not have insurance that covers underage drinking in your house but that I’ve handled cases with injuries resulting from that underage drinking that you do not want to know about, that will get through to him.
I covered that, extensively, and loudly with him. I know that post sounded like it was being treated lightly, but I was fucking pissed.
I know people on Facebook, and I would block them, but they’re such assholes that I enjoy seeing their posts.
My knees shouldn’t hurt this bad at my age. Fuck.
You should make a deal with the universe that if your knees feel better tomorrow, you promise to watch an episode of Emily in Paris and write it up for DFO.
I said it before and I’ll say it again.
Some people want to watch the world burn and others want to vacuum it.
Good God – I can only go so far.
It could be a classic, like Balls hate-watching Love, Actually and blogging it.
If you need knee advice I’m right here.
Right where You’re kneeded
Ha ha, I knee what you mean!
It’s been chronic my whole life. I had Osgood-Schlatter disease when I was 13, add in sports, drunken falls, and nasty ass genetics, and you gotta deal with it.
Plus, there’s always bourbon and heroin
I knew a kid with the last name Osgood when I was a kid. One time he was riding on someone’s back bike pegs and slipped off and landed crotch-first on the spinning tire and tore his sac. He had to go to the emergency room and everything. They sewed him back up and he was okay, though.
Man, I don’t want to have to get up at 4 a.m. to watch rugby tomorrow, but that’s the only interesting game (Argentina vs. Japan, basically a playoff game).
Arrival was excellent, but you know Amy Adams could have shown a little more skin…
For Don_T or “Stagger Lee if you will…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m463sDOYxPY
Vaccination ad campaign airing ads on SECN. That’s pretty galdurn brave!
Hey Washington State
nods in Hippo thought
/glad I napped
Bruins’ defense is legit. WATCH OUT 2024 RUTGERS!
I’ve got one thumb, two turntables, and a microphone.
Where I’m at!
Hippo claps his haaaaaaands
Bottles AND cans!
Pills come in bottles! And I can go grab a can of ginger beer!
I was flipping through the channels and I blew past my Blazers because they were wearing weird uni’s!
And Lillard’s gone to Milwaukee.
Not those Blazers.