Reasonably OK Evening Slate Open Thread

Universe apparently thinks we’ve suffered enough.  But not Hippo – fuck that guy, he’ll watch his team lose to Duke (8:00 on ACCN if interested – and you ain’t) and learn to LIKE IT.

Ballsy: Losing to Duke is not good. However, beating Duke in the 1990 NCAA National Championship by a record margin is SO SWEET!

Kansas State (+1.5) at Texas Tech (7:00, FS1)

Guns Up! again.  But it’s West Texas, do they ever really go DOWN?  Though one is supposed to call one’s doctor after 4 hours.  Assuming one is some kind of PUSSY.

Ballsy: Any excuse to post this picture. I really like this outfit:

Arizona (+8) at Washington State (7:00, PAC-12)

How massive a let down will Bear Down FOAR Midterms have after letting the Troi Boiz off the hook last Saturday?  Apparently not much, says Vegas.  Hippo says bet the absolute monkeyfuck out of Wazzu here.  The Pacific NW might have the three most prolific (or at least fun) passing attacks in Oregon, Washington, and Wazzu.

Ballsy: I agree on betting Wazzu. Zona is going to get rolled. Also, WHERE MY COUGETTES AT??

Auburn (+11) at LSU (7:00, ESPN)

Yeah, it’s his first season On the Plains – but I don’t think it’s ever safe/wise to go 0-3 in SEC play.  Not in that state full of lunatics.  Brian Kelly would also gladly kill your kid (on a scissorlift or otherwise) to get a win here, too.

Ballsy: Am I the only one that remembers when Auburn was good at football? Bo Jackson is rolling over in his proverbial grave. He’s still alive, right?

Wyoming (+10.5) at Air Force (7:00, CBSSN)

What does Brokeback’s alma mater have to do to get a little RESPEK?  Beating Guns Up! and Fresno won’t do, apparently.  They need to travel east and fuck up the Zoomies.  Which they’ll do tonight (bet it and don’t forget to tip your waitstaff).

Ballsy: Wyoming is indeed sneaky good. Take the points.

Southern Cal (+3) at Notre Dame (7:30, NBC)

Troi Boiz – again – ain’t got no defense.  The as-always-overrated Potato Famine Krew ain’t got no offense to speak of.  Sommet’s gotta give.  Watch it end like 15-13.

Ballsy: For teh Hippo:

UC-Los Angeles (+3.5) at Oregon State (8:00, Fox)

Do not adjust your dial, this matchup truly is worthy of Fox primetime.  It’s basically the inverse of UW/UO, in that two nasty, physical defenses will pound the shit out of one another for 3 hours.  I have to think that DJ Ukelele and the Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice Beaver home crowd make the difference in a close one.  Because Chip Kelly can get right fucked.  And put on a manzierre already, there are kids watching FFS.

Ballsy: I am still pissed that UCLA did not admit my niece. Go Beavs!!

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

If the best thing you can say about your boxing is “that guy sure can take a punch” you probably shouldn’t be boxing.

And as I type that the ref stops the fight because the guy who can take a punch is blocking way too many of them with his face.

Horatio Cornblower

/flips away from Pete Davidson’s opener on SNL
//finds boxing on ESPN
///sees boxer come out in green, red, and white
////is extremely knowledgable about boxing

“That guy’s a Mexican”

/////there is no one else in the room

Horatio Cornblower

It turns out I know nothing about flags, and a Kazakh is fighting a German in something called Rosenberg, Texas.

Horatio Cornblower

Pete Davidson’s stand-up could best be described as painful.

Brick Meathook

I have no idea why this guy is on television.

TheRevanchist

Now fuck off, Miami! Go overpay your dumbass coach. Hell, give him a bonus for being a big fuck up, you piles of poo.

Gumbygirl

I am stuffed full of delicious Indian food. There’s a little hole in the wall place here in DHS that we love. Vindalooooooooo!

yeah right

When you get it served at your perfect spice level, it’s as good as it gets.

TheRevanchist

I hear Rikki likes a good hole in the wall, especially in the bathroom.

Brick Meathook

That Oregon St. dancing retard kid in the stands was pretty good. Never stop trying!