12 Nov 2023 Mandatorium Session #3 NFL Thread

Just 7 MOAR hours to go.  Come on y’all, we GOT THIS!! (unrelated Silversun Pickups song follows)

Falcons (-2.5) at Qards (4:05, CBS)

Oh my, the ARTHUR SMITH Falcons giving points on the road?  I almost don’t even care that it’s the Qards they’re playing.  Wee Kyler is back, even!  I mean, it’s not like they will give their Top Ten pick Bijan Robinson 20+ touches or anything.  That would just be catering to the NEEERRRRRDDDDDSS who play fantasy.

Lions (-3) at Chargers (4:05, CBS)

Now THIS one, I get.  Baby Buster pseudo-revenge game?  Against the city of angels, I guess.  We need these Lions to FUCK HARD, kill any Spanoi-to-the-playoffs momentum in the crib.  I worry Detroit is due a stinker, though.

Vertically Enhanced Persons (+17.5) at Non-Gendered Cowpersons (4:25, Fox)

The line that won’t stop growing and you STILL wouldn’t touch it with a stolen dick.  I’m not saying you have a substitute today because Scotchy pre-drank himself into a coma to avoid watching this one.  I’m just not NOT saying it.  Horatio can probably do “chores” with Lowratio today, instead.

Commies (+6) at SeaTruthers (4:25, Fox)

Rise FOAR Anthem, fellows of the Comintern!  Rebecca Malone will throw you the ball regardless of uniform coloUr.  Coach Carroll is just asking questions, y’all – and this is the kind of game he fucks up.  I’m just saying…