Last Full JV Night Thread

Man, am I ever going to miss this feeling.  Of having the multitudes for FITBAW sustenance.  But for every season, yada yada.  As Sir Anthony Hopkins (as CS Lewis) said in Shadowlands, the sorrow now is part of the joy then.  That was a really good moviefilm.

Ballsy: It will not surprise you to know that I’ve never seen this film. If it’s not a comedy or if it doesn’t have gratuitous nudity, I’m not interested.

Florida State (-6.5) at Florida (7:00, ESPN)

The Florida Men are a hot mess, with meth mouth.  Semenholes lost their starting QB/talisman of their turnaround last weekend.  Sommet’s got to give, and I am not sure what.  Gators could quit after blowing that late lead after Mizzou, or respond angrily.

Ballsy: Florida girls are hot.

West By God Virginia (-8.5) at Baylor (7:00, FS1)

A fine renaissance year for Fuckers du Cousins concludes in Waco, where they are Just Asking Questions funny how u have a problem with that regarding Dave Aranda’s shittastrophe of a 2023 season.  I wonder if maybe that jerb comes open after all.

Clemson (-7) at South Cakalaky (7:30, SECN)

Remember what I said earlier about underdogs with bowl qualification on the line?  Well, that’s South Cakalaky.  And they’re at home.  And Clemson already feels like maybe they climbed out of their hole beating Blue Carolina last week (7th win, also ensured .500 in ACC play).  And YES, that is what they call U*NC in the state of South Cakalaky.  My folks lived outside of Charleston for several years, and were quite amused by this.  Also by the reaction when they first showed up to vote and asked for Demmycratic primary ballots.  You could hear the collective ‘BUT YOU’RE WHITE???” gasp.

Ballsy: That Clemson paw is EVERYWHERE!

Iowa State (+10) at Kansas State (8:00, Fox)

Who would have expected THIS to plausibly have Big 12 title implications?  But there you go.  Once you get past the very top layer of the sport, 2023 has been a great year FOAR chaos.

Ballsy: Green-eyed blondes for-EVA!

U*NC-Chapel Hole (-2.5) at NC State (8:00, ACCN)

Being favoUred would have scared me to death, and I prefer the insult of “unranked team playing away to the ranked team but favoUred somehow.”  We LIVE for such insults, especially when these rancid motherfuckers are involved.  I will try not to watch, and fail.  I NEED THIS.

Ballsy: No, what you need is THIS:

California (+9.5) at Westwood Klavern (10:30, ESPN)

Fatty McGoo saved his fatass jerb with an arse-kicking of the Troi Boiz last week.  They now have fuckshit to play for, while Cal’s Justin Wilcox maybe saves HIS OWN jerb with a win (and bowl qualification) here.  Disproprtional motivation is the key to predicting Nov/Dec JV NFL.  Hippo smells upset, though it’s probably just gas.

Ballsy: Yeah, it’s gas. I can smell it from here.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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WCS

Pens beat the Leafs earlier, but I’m sure our Nourthern Countingent already knew that after the Canadian Emergency Alert took over their phones across the country to let everyone know.

SonOfSpam

The Bruins seem to have shot their wad last week against fUSC.

I’m okay with that, but losing to Berkeley still sucks.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am so full right now, I couldn’t even have a wafer thin mint.

Mr. Ayo

Nice try, Terri Shiavo

Gumbygirl

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yABFvIJ-w-8&ab_channel=JAYKOOL

Rape U really shouldn’t have worn those uniforms tonight to let WVU squeeze out a late burst to finish.

SonOfSpam

They were asking for it.

Brocky
Redshirt

Iyo Sky: “Can I smash the group while they are holding a trash can?”
Triple H: “That’s overkill! How would four people hold a trash can? Its implausible. Do you get what I’m saying?”
Iyo Sky: “No problem, boss. I know exactly what you mean.”

Horatio Cornblower

Why do the four women in the ring not simply move out of the way?

Horatio Cornblower

(this is not a serious question; I understand this is choreographed)

Brocky

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WCS

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Brocky

Redshirt, you see that?

Redshirt

Yeah, I know. Its an amazing sight. I figured she’s a family friend or else her husband…

Wait, what are you talking about?

Brocky

Let’s just say I will go to my grave regretting not going to tonight’s event

Redshirt

Yeah, I saw the ending. It was nice and the setup was perfect. When WWE hits, they hit.

SonOfSpam

If Redshirt is still bummed about tOSU , he can take solace in the Cincinnati MLS team doing something nice. It’s pretty much the same.

Redshirt

At this point, success and happiness makes me fearful and paranoid.

SonOfSpam

ONE OF US
ONE OF US

WCS

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TheRevanchist

After that with the Burrow injury, I’m not sure we shouldn’t call to get a wellness check for the poor lad.

Redshirt

Its okay, I no longer have any feelings inside.

Redshirt

Hell is Real Derby III: The Search for a Championship!

Redshirt

Sorry, I meant to say Cup.

SonOfSpam

Ok last Pac-12 regular season game EVAR about to kickoff in the Rose Bowl.

I will try not to shed a tear, but no guarantees.

Brick Meathook

I still have no idea how or why all this happened (well except for money)

SonOfSpam

Also, it was money.

Redshirt

Yeah, who would’ve guessed the Big Ten being the conference to stab the Pac-12 in the back.

If anything, I would’ve bet on the Big Ten and SEC cannibalizing the ACC and the Pac-12 absorbing what was left of the Big 12. But once the Big Ten stole USC and UCLA, the Pac-12 was the walking dead.

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, but now we get hilarious 2PAC

SonOfSpam

2PAC: STILL ALIVE

ArmedandHammered

Is that the UCLA cheerleading squad or the FTWC (Future Trophy Wives Club)? Because gotdam…

SonOfSpam

The top recruit trophy wives go to USC obvs

Horatio Cornblower

Bit of a spot of weather in the Iowa State-K. State game I guess.

scotchnaut

There was so much ice. There was so much tea. There was so much alcoholic ice tea. Time for snoozies…

Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

Rebuttal: There’s a Star Wars burlesque show, so I’m guessing the Imperial March gets played at some point in that.

Game Time Decision

Hokey Pokey
Wheels on the bus
Bird dance

Brick Meathook

Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Benny Hill Chase Music
Chopsticks

Gumbygirl

Whee Doggies!

Mr. Ayo

A win is a win? Penix looks not ideal lately

SonOfSpam

Wife just asked what we should have for dinner.

I said I’ve already filled up on bananacakes all day.

She is making an account on J-Date. (she is not Jewish but I can’t argue with the decision)

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

For once a Clemson paw on an ass that isn’t a precursor to incest

scotchnaut

Alcoholic Iced Tea Beverages Update:

I’m drunk as hell and I think my teeth are going to fall out of my mouth. See you on the other side.

TheRevanchist

Pubes don’t brush themselves.