It’s been a delightful day in the Scotchverse-youngest went out to kill more partridges, wife had a good mid-day snooze and I saw Sillycuse get to double digit wins in December for the first time in quite a while. More alarming is the fact that there are two open areas of water on our lake at this time of year. This is insane but my brain should have connected the dots given the fact I went for a swim on the last day of September.
To The Game!
Lions/Cowboys:
-Coach and potential jaw cancer victim Dan Campbell (he loves the chaw) gets all the credit for turning this moribund franchise completely around in three years. The scarred kneecaps? Medial collateral ligament damage.
-You’d think it would be Dallas (#5) but it’s actually Detroit (#3) that has the better overall offense. (total yards gained)
-Beware relatively new Lions safety [squints at bio] Ifeatu Melifonwu. Against the Vikes in just his third start he had a pick, two sacks, five tackles and two pass breakups.
-CeeDee only needs three catches to knock Mikey Irvin off the leaderboard for most catches in a season. Irvin still holds the record for most lines of coke snorted off the thigh of a comatose hooker in a one star motel. (not gonna lie, that’s an awfully specific stat)
-The Plugger and The Darter: Montgomery and Gibbs sound like a pair of Confederate generals that scurried back to their plantations as soon as things went south. (HA!) But they’re actually the one-two punch responsible for the third-best rushing attack in the league. Given that Dallas gave up 266 yards on the ground a few weeks ago to Buffalo, well, this is the path to victory.
-Detroit lost 24-6 to the Cowboys last year-since then they’ve gone 19-7.
-Even if Dallas extends its home winning streak they still need Philly to lose to the Giants next week. Good luck with that.
See you in the comments.
Hiya folks!
Got a late start because I recorded the game and fuck commercials but this has been fun so far.
I watched “Maestro” on Netflix and it was very good.
A little disappointed that neither of our Maestros were on screen though.
As an intelleckshual, I should wanna watch Maestro, but I do not.
Enjoying this season of Fargo immensely however.
Also, really really enjoyed Barbie. It’s wild how mad some (assholes) got at it.
Dot fucking rules.
A for real tiger.
And how adorable is her (new) husband?
Also love Jennifer Jason Leigh, but that’s predictable.
The only thing I don’t like about Fargo is having to wait a week between episodes. Jon Hamm’s character is fucking loathsome but man he’s doing a hell of a job with it.
Yeah, he’s great at playing an asshole.
(remembers Don Draper)
I guess that’s not a surprise.
It’s well worth watching. You’re gonna probably want to slap me after the first hour but it more than pays off.
Recommend.
(adds note to calendar to slap Yeah Right next time I see him)
Thanks for the rec!
You’re wasting your time, start with Emily in Paris. Everyone knows this.
Just stop running the ball, McCarthy.
Or, you know, don’t.
You DARE question the best head coach in
the NFLDallas?I mean, Dan Campbell is probably a better coach, and he’s also in Dallas right now.
Looks like Williams outran at least one of his hamstrings on that play.
lions in the red zone looking like mike mccarthy at a vegan restaurant
someone should tell Bluebunny that “black is slimming” has its limits
Dude talked so much smack after that catch, it made his helmet pop off.
BABY BUSTER!!!!
I would take Mike McDaniel as the head coach of the Cowboys in a cocaine heartbeat.
if mike mcdaniel dressed like that in miami he would be a god
He does and is.
If you serve Popeye’s wings at your party, the law says you must have at least four functioning toilets available for your guests.
five if its kfc
dan campbell dips THEN chews gum
hope he brushed his teeth and mouthwashed at halftime
Based on the close-up we just got I’m not sure his lower teeth have ever seen or tasted fluoride.
I thought the same for a second
Turns out the gum is bright yellow.
I don’t even know what variety that it, juicy fruit isn’t that vibrant
The gum contains potassium benzoate!!
A short amount of research into yellow gum reveals the fact that the past was super racist
D3-2.png (1392×922) (antiqueadvertising.com)
This has been a remarkably BLEERGH free game, but I guess this was inevitable.
LAMB IS THE GREATEST IN THE UNIVERSE!
Then drops two passes
Fuck you Dallas
DeeDee lamb of God giveth, lamb of God taketh away
Mutton dressed up as Lamb
Dak’s had a decent game, but those were not two of his better passes.
how ’bout they/them Cowpersons!!
/seriously, I been napping (cold kicking my arse), how have things gone?
Defensively, great. Offensively, eh, not so much.
Would both squadrons be wise to settle for a point here? Because HIPPO WANT
Dallas needs a win, but they’re playing like they don’t.
The scenario where they lose to the MRSA Men in the wild card is looking more and more likely
inshallah, MRSA Men no longer look an easy out
Not going to lie, if Tampa breaks out the Bucco Bruce Creamsicles for the play-off game I will be conflicted.
That would be awesome, unfortunately the no fun league doesn’t allow for alternates during the playoffs
Aidan Hutchinson’s Mom
Aidan hutchinson’s dad?
I don’t care HOW Karen she might be, that’s a YES, GOD YES from everyone…
Kinda like Debbie Harry, but admitted to the country club.
I would never be a member of any club that didn’t admit Debby Harry.
*grumblegrumblewhenisheafreeagentgrumblegrumble*
Eh
Mike McCarthy, down 3 and with Cee Dee Lamb on the roster, decide that now is the drive to establish the run.
Well, yeah.
You save that double-reverse, rollout/RPO tight end throw from shoutgun for 4th and 2 on the nine-yard nine with 28 seconds left down five.
Duh.
I think the Punjab Kings should change their name to the Punjab Super DOOPER Kings
RUGBY SCRUM!!!
10-7 into the 3rd quarter? Who scheduled this bowl game?!
TD Montyyyyy!
That’s ROCKINGGG!!!!
There is a cricket team called the Mumbai Indians
Wait until you hear about the Vancouver Canucks.
Do they do the tomahawk chop? Cuz that would be funny,not gonna lie!
There’s supposed to be an NFL team in Houston, but ehh.
If they call them the Aeros…
Why would Detroit do anything but run the ball? Dallas isn’t keeping them from 10 yards in 3 downs.
Yeah, there’s really no need to make a token attempt to ‘establish the pass’ in this case
The Lions keep blowing blocks. The Cowboys are attacking upfield and the Lions are trying to do the Shanahan shit with kickouts and traps and whams but their receivers and La Porta aren’t as physical as the 49ers.
That one in the 1Q where La Porta is in motion and has to block Lawrence off the motion, but instead of continuing to move he plants his feet, and then when Lawrence moves to go around him instead of through him, La Porta just falls on his face… that play was so bad and it keeps repeating itself in less brutal ways.
2nd worst dropped pass in cowboys history?
https://youtu.be/-6aIOnsSCyc?si=fPdAr7ubdqeeVUns&t=10
That was the best one, you are confuse.
Aibohphobia is the fear of palindromes
Lame word science people should have made it a palindrome.
This televised ceremony was a great opportunity for Charles Haley to pull out his cock and swing it around.
or take a giant dump on the 50 yard line
Or both!
These are the postgame celebrations, so just relax.
On the topic of haley..
I guess I never realized how flipping MASSIVE he is
Make your jokes
and now I loathe the Dallas Cowboys even more
actually woulda got some respect for asshole jerrah if that ring unveiling had not “jimmy johnson 1989-1993” but instead “lol still get bent asshole”
You die. You die and go straight to Hell.
“Jimmy how many times have I looked at you, and you ignored the fact that my pupils are those of a lizard?”
“Jimmy how many times have I looked at you, and then had to pay you $300,000 or more for you to ignore the dismembered remains of a call girl in my office suite?”
Ok halftime FFL question. in the finals of my longtime league, no PPR, so TDs are a little more important than most leagues. I have 3 choices for my Flex player:
Achane at BAL
Higgins at KC
D. Adams at IND
My really tentative ranking has them in that order, but I can be talked out of it since I am weak.
I’d move Higgines ahead of Achane just because of the opposing defenses, but I am also not particularly good at FF.
I legit don’t want to give an opinion because of my curse
Gimme your opinion, can just do the opposite.
Be sure to ….
not your teeth daily?
Ooh, him card read good!
God damn it I can’t even give sarcastic advice correctly!
KC has been good against WRs especially #1…but Chase might play tomorrow.
And I’m thinking Achane gets more work with Waddle out.
BUT I DON’T KNOW DAMMIT
Higgins
that wasnt flattering to jimmy there
Well, that’s because Jerry Jones likely had something to do with it.
He’s doing this because he has to, not because he wants to.
Randy White does not have time for the crowd.
I hope Jimmy Johnson takes the ring and jacket and then cock punches Jones.
I don’t know if you could get me to join a ring of honor, I couldn’t make the yearly trip
I was having a conversation the other day about alternative uses for waffle irons, and a question arose; Can you make a sort of waffle cookie by putting that cookie dough that comes in tubes into a waffle maker?
I could use the internet to find out, but it would be way more fun if someone I know decided to give it a try and shared the results
Where the hell is Yeah Right?
Daydreaming about Portugal, probably.
As he ought.
My son got a cookbook for xmas and there was a recipe for hash browns cooked with a waffle iron. I’m drooling
Given the density of the dough, I think it would end up crispier than you’d like or uncooked-in-the-middle-er than you’d like.
Now all I can think about is Waffle Stomp
That Detroit O-Line tonight:
THIS DETROIT OFFENSIVE LINE I CALL IT SASHA GREY, BECAUSE IT’S BLOWING EVERYTHING!!!!
Also allowing multiple guys penetrating at the same time.
And bending over and just taking it.
Hate to get all “inside football” on you guys, but Lawrence and Parsons are good.
Hey, check out the big brain on Spam!
Well, I took algebra in high school.
Me too. Twice!
https://twitter.com/VinceMancini/status/1741284496891412599
My nephew just turned 21. Checks out.
I’m… proud? That I don’t know the origin of that name?
I’d rather not, to be honest
lol mccarthy not knowing how to count
They should have just run the ball 4 times
With Montyyyyyy
That would have been rocking!
Joe Buck, Pollard’s numbers are down because Dallas’s offense revolves around Dak and Cee Dee, as it should.
an entertaining but kinda derpy game
Field goals don’t cut the deficit by 1 Troy. That’s one of the most basic rules of football.
To say nothing of basic math.
Math is hard.
The funny thing is that *I’m* the one who is going to be baking some cookies later. Only two cookies, though, and they’re both for me.
How long before the NFL crams a camera into the football?
I like Dan Campbell, but that was a dumb call.
“EAT ALL THE ASS!”
— Dan C., Detroit, MI
“Nice move in the hole.”
I’m giggling.
Fake punts are the best punts!
Fake punt!
River boat jawless?!?!?!