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Wild Card Weekend Warmups!

King Hippo

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What tasty treats await us all – presuming one is staying inside watching TV.  God help you if you are ATTENDING the Saturday night Chefs/Fins tilt.  Your bollocks are likely to freeze plum off.  Or, I suppose, your lady bollocks (sorry, TayTay).

But first, Lesser Footy awaits.  The Prem is thankfully back, plus you have the Afrikan Euros kicking off today, with Ivory Coast/Guinea-Bisseu (3:00p, BeIn).  Well, there’s another channel I have to find.  Hat tip to DonT for finding and sharing this badass Gambia team pic, in traditional gear.  (/raises fist)

That said…very strange schedule today.  NO FIXTURES in the 10:00 window??  Only two AT ALL???  FIX YOUR SHIT.

Ooooh, as local as a Derby can get – Chelsea hosting Fulham…in Fulham, naturally (7:30, USA).  Will Litre freeze to death before he can rage at this one, and possibly wake up the Mrs?

After two hours of nothingness, you do at least get a quality matchup, Bonesaws v. City of Men (12:30, NBC).  Quite the sportsball day for NBC/Peacock.  Pep’s men need this one, to re-establish their contender/alpha dog bona fides.  I am cautiously optimistic they’ll get it/do so.

Sunday…also just two?  Everton welcome Villa (9:00, USA), followed by stream-only Men Untied/Spurs (11:30, Peacock).  The latter is notable for Andre Onana, who is jumping on a plane for the Afrikan Euros immediately after the match, in hopes to be able to play the very next day.

Macro speaking of those Afrikan Euros?  Watch out for the Black Stars of Ghana.

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Senor Weaselo

We replaced Joe Flacco with the Sex Cannon. Let’s see who notices!

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scotchnaut

/writing up the night game intro

Me: “Jesus, you take a swipe at Kadarius Toney every single time you talk about the Chiefs. It’s getting tired.”

Other Me: “I know but…Fuck That Guy.”

Me: “Okay, then.” [backs away slowly]

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Doktor Zymm

I really like eating ice cream when it’s cold out

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King Hippo

/nods in Captain BlueBunny

//help me, I am smothering in the folds

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Dunstan

One of my favorite Cheers scenes:

DIANE: I will never understand why you men will drink cold beer on a freezing winter night like this.
CLIFF: Well, you see, Diane, it’s all about creating an equilibrium between the internal and external temperatures. It’s very scientific. Much the same principles as the British drinking hot tea in India.
DIANE: But then how come I see you boys drinking cold beer on a hot summer day?
CLIFF: (shrugs) Well, what else you gonna do with it?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So we’ve been watching The Brothers Sun and they did something last night which is far too rare in stories where the protagonists are criminals: they provided a stark reminder that crime is a bad thing, and hurts people.

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Doktor Zymm

Upon further consideration, it’s probably team travel that makes the NFL cancel during a blizzard but not for dangerous cold. An entire playoff team getting in a serious bus accident would be significantly worse for the league than a few fans freezing to death or even a couple players getting frostbite

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Fronkenshteen

I think the broom might have just won whatever the mvp award is called in the premier league, because he just proved he is definitely the player who means the most to his team, and it isn’t close.

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King Hippo

He is basically an extension of Pep’s brain. Surely the most technically proficient footballer on earth, too.

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scotchnaut

I believe it’s called the ECS-Exceedingly Cherished Sportsman.

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scotchnaut

A goal and an assist in four minutes by Broom. Unbelievable.

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scotchnaut

Look at you, Manc! Announcer called the goal ‘sumptuous’ as they are inclined to do.

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Mr. Ayo

Bonesaws beaten by Bobb

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scotchnaut

What a finish, in more than one way.

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Mr. Ayo

… Broom, Bernado

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King Hippo

Sad day in Geordie Arabia. But don’t y’all fret, it will be 9/11 again before you know it!

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scotchnaut

BROOM TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ETA: his ability to tuck the ball just inside the post is something I’ve never seen any other player do on a regular basis

Last edited 2 years ago by scotchnaut
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King Hippo

Lighting that candle on your hope chest really worked!

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scotchnaut

To be fair, it is a big chest.

marika.jpg
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scotchnaut

Alvarez, you putz!

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scotchnaut

UNC: 98

SillyCuse: 67

/Them Orange fellas aren’t even remotely ready to compete with the big boys

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King Hippo

ACC is a tire fire in hoopsball, too. U*NC is a mid-teens/4 seed kind of team, and they are pistol whipping all comers in the league.

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Cecil Rhodes

Greetings from the comfortable climes of my hilltop manor in Southern Rhodesia! This stretch of frigid winter weather that most of you are experiencing in the New World is regrettable, but that’s what you get for deciding that being part of the British Empire was not good enough for you! Always remember – God is on the Empire’s side, and He can cancel winter (and climate change) if he so chooses to!

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scotchnaut

If you’re on speaking terms with the guy, can you ask him why he stubbed my toe this morning please?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Isn’t it crazy that “turf toe” sounds so benign, but it’s actually a pretty serious condition that can wreck careers?

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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scotchnaut

Very same thing with “Friendly Fire”.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“There’s no such thing as a ‘friendly fire’.” – a very grounded Eli Manning

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Doktor Zymm

I’m done with my ‘going outside’ for the day in the relatively balmy temps of 25F, which is great because the temp has already started its downward slide to a low of -1F tonight.

I gotta say, this sort of weather is way more fun when it’s voluntary and temporary and I can just go back to California whenever I get sick of it

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Gumbygirl

My nephew is in South Dakota. The current temperature, with the windchill, is -41⁰. Tomorrow is supposed to be colder. It’s MLK Day, so no classes. He has groceries and a full kitchen in his suite, he’s not going anywhere.

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Horatio Cornblower

It’s sunny and 60 here in CT, because global warming isn’t real, so it’s time to take the dog for a walk down to see how far over the road the reservoir is today, (again), before we actually start seeing some proper winter temperatures tonight.

I hate to say it, but go Bonesaws.

3
Redshirt

It’s coming. Cincinnati went from 45 yesterday to 25 today to 10 tomorrow. Enjoy the warmth.

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Horatio Cornblower

Was just scrolling through last night’s comments and decided to see what Scotchy was on about with the Fanta = Nazis and did a quick search and yep, call me Curt Schilling because I’ve ordered a T-shirt of Nazi memorabilia.

FML.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanta#:~:text=Fanta%20originated%20in%20Germany%20as,million%20cases%20sold%20in%201943.

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King Hippo

Maybe people will start whispering INSIDE WHITE POWER gossip ye can collect!

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Fronkenshteen

Ederson: ded

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King Hippo

I was just turning mah teevee box on. Now? It stays off. I should really start up episode 7 of Fargo, but probably saving for tomorrow.

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Downfield Matriculator

Agreed. Thought I suppose this could save the Stillers from a “tuck rule” call after a causing a Josh Allen fumble, which would then immediately be followed by a sidearm throw for a 45 yard touchdown.

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King Hippo

Better than moving it out of Buffalo, but I wanted to see MAXIMUM ENTROPY

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I suppose this is the responsible thing to do, but thinking about NFL fan safety (particularly for the Kansas City game) takes me to dark places that I’d rather not go.

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Redshirt

Dangerous Cold? Play on!
Deadly Pandemic? Play on!
Blizzard? Cancel everything!!!

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ArmedandHammered

They want it to be just bad enough to hide the intentional ref fuckery, but not hide the actual plays.

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Redshirt

The Fog Bowl and Peacock Paywall Bowl begs to differ.

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Horatio Cornblower

I think it’s more “a lot of fans will die trying to get to the stadium, and if they’re dead they a) can’t buy NFL stuff and b) might sue us” kind of thing.

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scotchnaut

Three days of double-headers? Thank you very much!

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Gumbygirl

Two days for me. Singleheader today because FUCK DAT PEACOCK!

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2Pack

Should go to AFN… Have Gumpy’s reup

2
Gumbygirl

They wouldn’t want him. He’s old and rickety, and he hasn’t had a haircut in four years.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m going to do something wild and wear long underwear as underwear today. Let’s hope for the best.

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King Hippo

I think Rikki is trying to tell us he done converted to Mormonism. He’s got his second skin, to protect him from teh world!

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Redshirt

I was not certain if we could top “Boo Andrew Luck after he has to retire due to breaking his body for you” but “booing a widow to tears” is worthy of debate.

Bulls fans boo late GM Jerry Krause during Ring of Honor ceremony, which brought his widow to tears – CBSSports.com

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WCS

/Steve Bartman sits in silent solidarity

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scotchnaut

“You thought booing Santa Claus was in poor taste? Hold my deep dish. FUCK YOU, DEAD GUY. BOOOOOOO!!!”

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ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, but did they throw batteries at the Ring of Honor? Pussies!

– Philly

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ArmedandHammered

Good thing it was not free battery night.

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Senor Weaselo

Man, they took The Last Dance personally.

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litre_cola

That fucking referee should be sent to the Red Sea and dressed as a boat. Jesus fucking tapdancing Christ. Want big 6 bias? Watch that fucking game.

Fuck me I am going to go punch an elderly person for breathing too loud.

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Fronkenshteen

Anyone else think the Packers/Cowboys line (DAL -7) seems WAY out of whack? I don’t think I could possibly set that line any higher than -4, and I’d probably settle at -3.5 and then take the Packers to win outright anyway. I can understand blind confidence in the Dallas metro area justifying a betting line like that, but nationally? I just don’t get it.

1
King Hippo

On one hand, the Cowpersons generally limit their pitch-shitting to away games. On the other, HAI January BlueBunny!

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2Pack

I have no idea what GB team is going to show up. The only thing I know… for sure as the sun will set… is prepare yourself for the Ice Bowl clips… You just know that juju is too strong…

1
Fronkenshteen

One thing I’ve never heard discussed about that game is if Lombardi’s contraption hadn’t frozen the field, would that Dallas team have had a speed advantage they could have exploited? I’m not suggesting foul play AT ALL, but I have always wondered that.

2
2Pack

I think there person most pissed about the field was Lombardi. That was his pride and joy and it embarased him at the critical time. I think that the teams had played recently before that and any speed advantage Dallas had was countered by other GB strengths. They were two closely matched good teams. Just to hard to tell, like they say about games like that – both teams played under the same conditions.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Dallas is huge nationally. There are Cowboys fans everywhere. It’s much like Steelers fans.

I can see how the blind confidence goes national.

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Youngest GTD’s boyfriend is a NGCP fan and I’m a GB fan. While I don’t think GB will win, he’ll get all moody when they lose, prob next round

2
WCS

First time in 29 years both the FUCK Loins and The Pauls are in the Playoffs at the same time.

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Don T

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Could have been even better if Geno Smith hadn’t stopped opening his mail last year.

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Fronkenshteen

[peruses Black Stars roster]

Are Ghana the favorites in the African Cup of Nations tourney?

[checks current odds]

[collects eyeballs off floor]

[places modest wager on Ghana +1400 to win on FanDuel]

No. No they are not.

5
King Hippo

If I can’t get at least 10 or 12 to 1, what fun is it? You may wonder how it is I lost so much to GAMBLOR, given that unassailable logic.

0
Fronkenshteen

Hey! That guy Chukwuemeka is back for Chelsea. Cool. He got hurt about 2 minutes after this goddamn thunder strike against my hammers, and I felt bad when I heard it was a long term injury.
https://youtu.be/DwgOOh8mxAg?si=GXLi2rsZoFEujqnZ

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King Hippo

He got knocked down, but he got up again?

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Fronkenshteen

now i’m desperately trying to find a ween song or something that’ll knock this one OUT of my head.

1
King Hippo

Here you go!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpnAJ-zvHj8

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Don T

I already stepped out of a social thang today for playoff NFL (wooooo!), as one must do this time of year. Next weekend there’s a yooge four-day street festival, but I’m feeling my reclusin’ oats plenty.

2
King Hippo

Someone who arranges (spits on ground) SOCIAL activity during the two best PLAYOFF FITBAW weekends should really be summarily executed.

Or, you know, deleted from your LinkedIn contacts.

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litre_cola

I just put my shift at the restaurant up for grabs

2
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKRN4R64rVs

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Fronkenshteen

oof. hope litre is sleeping in. what a dive by sterling.

2
ArmedandHammered

Depending on how much Malort he consumed last night, he may be in too much pain to get out of bed.

1
Fronkenshteen

oh christ, that’s right!

1
ArmedandHammered

For some reason, I imagine a Malort hangover as being one of the worst you can have, sort of like Salmonella poisoning vs. Indigestion.

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King Hippo

Or like having a baby and passing a kidney stone at the same time. Unmedicated.

5
Fronkenshteen

I drank port wine in a hot tub one night. I wanted to cut my own head off the next morning it hurt so much.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[can help with that] – Richie Incognito

1
WCS

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litre_cola

No Malort, yet. Zymm will take care of it for me.
I am doing dry January so even more murderous.

2
Gumbygirl

That was Sharky. He hasn’t been around today.

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