In real time, its been six days since I started my Taylor Swift journey. Now here we are, finishing the discography of one of the more prolific superstars of our generation. I don’t know the actual numbers on where she stacks up in terms of published content for a multiplatinum artist, but I can say from personal experience that this woman has A LOT of songs. I’ve learned so much about a person who only days ago was just a one-dimensional caricature of vapid teen girls in my mind. Now I’m fascinated by her creative depth and enchanted by her wild smile. She’s written some things that struck me in places I don’t let people strike me. Yes, some of these songs have been a swift kick to the balls and I’m not sure I could have anticipated that.

But I’m getting too mired in the moment here. It’s hard to believe that after this post, I’ll be done! ….you didn’t actually believe that, did you? I’ll see you tomorrow. This week-long series was always driving towards a Part 7 with all of you in the passenger’s seat. Let’s get started.

**Midnights (2022)**

**Lavender Haze**

Oh, are we out of the indie folk phase? That’s ok, it was nice that we got two albums of it. I wonder what she means that the haze is creeping up on her. I looked it up to make sure she was still with Joe here.

Post-wiki: She certainly was with Joe, and had posted a video about how he inspired her to write this song. She has now taken it down. Oof. I don’t know if I think Lavender Haze works for me as a way to describe the honeymoon phase of a new relationship, but I’m not a multi-platinum recording artist! All I could think about was that Lavender Haze is what happens when it’s really humid, right before a Purple Rain.

Music video: We’re in our Windows 98 era now, people. What do I mean by that? Something about the art style of the clouds, the age of the TV, the smoke everywhere, the tambor of the music, Taylor in the purple water, the set dressing/apparel, and the general psychedelic nature of the video takes me straight to learning how to type on a clicky beige keyboard in a library computer center. I get that you could also read this as 50s but this is MY review, and I say that it’s like an operating system and hardware set best known for looking like a nicotine stain.

**Maroon**

The rust that grew between telephones. I don’t know what it means but it gets the people going. Is it bad to quote Kanye in a Taylor Swift review? We’ve got a color-saturated chorus here. Given that she has a whole album called Red, I’m sure there’s plenty of color lore out there.

**Anti-Hero**

Oh, this is the I’m the problem song! Is she owning up to being an imperfect partner? That’s refreshing, I know we’ve gotten pieces of it but to have a hit that focuses on it is, in my eyes, a sign of her being comfortable within herself. Lol, the idea of Taylor’s daughter-in-law killing her for money is psychotic and pretty funny. The way she said everybody agrees was chilling.

Post-wiki: “I just struggle with the idea of not feeling like a person.” I think this is a statement that many people would identify with, especially those of us whose identities are built upon what value we generate for others. I’m a very insecure person, and the need for external validation drives my creativity. If I ever reached a point where just waking up in the morning was enough to draw effusive praise, that engine would break down and I’d lose my entire sense of self. I don’t know if this is true for Taylor, but her art helped me talk about it, and for that I’m grateful. Anti-Hero is a great song for a lot of reasons, but this one is mine.

Music video: I’m sorry but when she cut into that egg I wanted to punch my monitor. The concept here of Bad Taylor educating Good Taylor to pick up all these bad habits is great. I also like that her blood is purple and sparkly, it really fits the theme of the album. Beach house —> Cat Sanctuary! This sketch is brilliant. Say what you will but I’d listen to Growing Up Swiftly. It has the Knives Out vibes. I like this song more after the video. I don’t have time to talk about Giant Taylor right now.

**Snow on the Beach (feat. Lana Del Rey)**

Who is Lana Del Ray? She has a name that makes me envision an expensive restaurant where I probably can’t get a table. I’ve seen snow on a beach, it is absolutely weird and beautiful. If this album is like snow on the beach, I’m going to be very happy with it. Oh we’re still doing color, and I also just realized we’re very clearly doing weather as well. If she gets in a car, we’re going to need to scramble the jets.

Post-wiki: Taylor is getting weirder. This is a good thing. Comparing two people simultaneously falling in love with snow on the beach is a stretch, and all I can say is keep stretching because you work best when you’re limber. Cool that Taylor got to work with another musician that she loves!

**You’re on Your Own, Kid**

Sprinkler splashes –> fireplace ashes. I think I don’t enjoy this song. It’s a little bland, but I liked that line. If there was something meaningful here, I missed it. Apparently track 5s are important so I feel like I’m missing something.

Post-wiki: I’m sorry, this is where the friendship bracelet thing comes from? It’s this obscure and buried in a non-single? OK, I see that it’s a track 5 and y’all do your thing or whatever but wow, Swifties are something else. Very cool. In BNL fandom, there’s a tradition that when they sing If I Had A Million Dollars, when they say “we wouldn’t have to eat kraft dinner” (mac and cheese), you through boxes of kraft mac and cheese onto the stage. This has led to a number of injuries. Moral of the story, don’t throw things. Just generally. Also, no hitting.

**Midnight Rain**

Whatever this sound is, give me a whole bunch. These lyrics are dope. I broke his heart ’cause he was nice. You’re awful. What an atmospheric jam. This album really has a specific vibe, huh?

**Question…?**

We’ve got some city pop creeping in here. Yes I know what that is. I’ve lived. I’ve seen pictures and videos in music videos of Taylor in Japan. I bet she likes the weird pop that came out of Japan in the 80s. I have been kissed in a crowded room and had people clap, and what I did after that was go and take the heaviest nap of my life because my new wife and I were EXHAUSTED. I did not, in fact, leave her house in the middle of the night. We were not property owners. There was a nugget in that chorus that ties back to the middle of the night theme of this album, I know I got distracted but I am in fact listening.

**Vigilante Shit**

This is not the first song about being a vigilante that I’ve heard from Taylor. I don’t remember where the other one was. When someone says they’re bumping some music, I picture something that sounds like this. Brrt. Bwumwum, chkchkchkchk. He was doing lines? That shit will explode your heart and we will not be able to help you. Dressing for revenge is some Kill Bill energy and I’m all about it.

**Bejeweled (Music Video)**

OK, so Swifties in the game thread say that Travis Kelce lets Taylor bejeweled. I FINALLY get it. She gets to go out and wear the stuff and be seen. Good for her. Good for them. I hope they work out, it would be a lot of fun to see her cheering him on for the rest of his career. He’s going to retire in a year or two, so we wouldn’t get a lot, but it would be fun while it lasted. This song is almost chiptune-y, which is an easy way to get me to like it. I’m a child of the SNES. This album has been pretty varied with it’s sound, which I appreciate because I’m getting oversaturated with the standard Swiftian melody. At the same time, these songs seem a little shorter than usual which also helps.

Music video: Yes, mommy. Having learned that Taylor directs her own music videos these days, I can tell her film will have a clear vision. A lot can go wrong in such a large project but I’m looking forward to her visual storytelling in a longer runtime. “Nice!” Those interjections in these songs, like “Go! Fight! Win!” Are my favorite thing about the whole discography and I have no idea why. It instantly makes a song one of my favorites. I like how she’s integrating these mid-century aesthetics with the hyper modern synth sounds in the music. It’s a surprisingly slick combo. Yeah, this music video was excellent.

**Labyrinth**

Ooh, I like a song that says oh no when she’s falling in love. It gives it urgency and mystery. It helps that we’ve got some mystery music playing. We’re in our Scooby Doo era, where’s the lover in this Labyrinth. Sorry, that last joke went a little overboard. This track sounds a little like those songs from Big Red Mystery Machi—jinkies, I’ve got Scoob on the brain. Was that low voice hers, using a pitch changer?

**Karma**

Karma is my boyfriend, too, Taylor, and we’re breaking up cuz clearly you vibe with him better. Well hold on now she’s dating Spider-Man. Haha, I can’t believe she wrote “aren’t you envious that for you it’s not?” To her point though, she got through a bullshit viral Anti-Taylor movement and came out the other side an even bigger mega-star, so go off girl. Karma is a relaxing thought for her, and that’s gotta feel good. I’m convinced this song is about Kanye’s downhill slide though, which has been kind of sad to watch at the human level. He’s not well.

**Sweet Nothing**

The picture she’s painting here is very pleasant. And the clavicle—what is that thing called? Hold on.

Clavichord! This isn’t a clavichord. It’s some kind of keyboard synth instrument that made me feel like ice skating. I know music words but I use them wrong. You’ve read this far, you surely know that about me. Speaking of which, I love the rhythmatics of her vocalism here. It’s something she does more often in these later albums and I find it really fun to listen to, fitting a lot of words into a small space. I feel like this song is about Joe and it makes me sad. It sounds like they were comfortable.

**Mastermind**

Oh my, we’re going to space. Hey she said planets! Haha, well the intro sound got it across. C’mon Taylor, make it weird. I’m a rocket man, I can handle it. If Taylor told me she was a mastermind and that she captured me like a bug in a net, I’d ask her to humanize me a little more and suggest that maybe a relationship doesn’t have to becomposed of a hunter and a hunted. I feel like she wrote a song about that, named after the guy who voices Bob’s Burgers.

**The Great War**

This is about surviving a fight in a relationship. Yes, I know I’ve gotten quite good at plucking the meaning from these tunes. No other observations.

**Bigger Than the Whole Sky**

Atmospheric is the word of the album. Echoes of an acoustic guitar, played through a sepia-tone barn window. I like it. Do I love it? Maybe not, it’s a little static, but at this point I’m convinced we’re getting another 20 albums from this woman in the next 10 years so if she wants to do one that feels like this, I’m just gonna pay her the money.

**Paris**

This is a song written by Celebrity Taylor. Ooh la la, or something. I actually like when she plays at doing the celeb schtick. Did you see the photos? No, but thanks. Oh, so the story is about sitting in an alley drinking cheap champagne and pretending you’re in Paris. Sometimes she likes to build a moment and then pull back the curtain and it’s fun.

**High Infidelity**

Everybody say welcome back to the beeps and boops music. It’s a fun way to layer a song, makes it feel light without sacrificing dimension. Ok, I’ll bite. Where was she April 29th? I’m going to bet that this song is about Scarf Guy and she got stood up on April 29th at that party. It makes sense, she’s saying he killed her by not loving her enough and now he regrets meeting her because she’s written songs about him. Well, Scarf Guy, you signed that work order for your own damn self. What was he keeping count of?

**Glitch**

Blood moonlit glitch, she’s clearly singing about Castlevania speedruns. 2,190 days since what? I’m not gonna be able to guess that one, unless it’s also referring to April 29th. Man, I thought I’d get more out of this song but it played it safe.

**Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve**

People have mentioned this track to me in anticipation. Oh Christ, is this about Scarf Guy again? Grown man, encouraged developing a relationship but treated her like a paint splatter? She’s 19, yeah this is Scarf Guy or John Mayer. Actually, I’m sure it’s John Mayer cuz dancing with the devil fits much more. She had big feelings for the Scarf Guy, but this is just regretting being with a bad person, which is John Mayer. “Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.” :O That was a grenade of a lyric. And the next song is called Dear Reader instead of Dear John. I pick up what you’re putting down, you clever, clever girl.

**Dear Reader**

I feel obligated to say that burning all your files is not only against the retention policy, but could land us in pretty deep water with regulatory authorities. When you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss? Yeah I don’t think you missed Taylor, that line about giving back your girlhood was an absolute strike. I can’t believe we’re dealing with this stuff all the way in 2022. Good that we are, but I’m surprised it wasn’t in Lover. Maybe it just wasn’t time yet.

**Hits Different**

OK, I hate to admit it but the visual of leaving a club and throwing up on the street takes me back to College a little bit, and it indeed hits different nowadays. Hey, asshole outlaw! I saw that in the ‘say two words, guess the song’ thread the other day. If I was aiming to write a thesis about all this, I’d line up her outlaw references and her vigilante references and draw some conclusions between any shared context or meaning in the songs. That’s free analysis bait for anybody that wants it. Antithetical dream girl gives Alternative Girlfriend vibes and I’m here for it.

**Snow on the Beach (feat. More Lana Del Rey)**

I can get behind a pluckier version of Snow on the Beach, sure! Lana Del Ray searching “aurora borealis green” like a mid-40s power mom picking out paint samples for the she-shed vision board. You deserve your own dedicated space, queen. What does it mean to be for someone like Janet?

**Karma (feat. Ice Spice))**

Grah! That’s the sound I make when I go to drink something but there’s spice on the ice. Who put fucking cardamom on top of my damn julep. I think this song is the most ‘painting fingernails emoji’ song on the album. Is she saying she’s draggin that wagon because she has an XL booty?

Music video: GRAH. Mary Tyler Moore. That’s who reincarnated as Taylor Swift. Yes, I know MTM only died a few years ago. Still, though. If Taylor ‘retires’ from her release schedule in the future, she’d be a slam dunk for a once weekly night show. I have no idea what I’m talking about, by the way. Whoever this lady is from the music video hanging out with Taylor has the wagon!

**You’re Losing Me**

The vocal effects here are glitzy. Feels like Lover. “I know my pain is such an imposition.” That feels. Hmm, there was another song where Taylor sang about how a guy was losing her.

**Final Thoughts on Midnights:**

I like the sound. It isn’t going to make my top 3 for her albums, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. I almost feel like this one should be a vacation album. I could imagine myself in an alternate future, listening to this while waiting for traffic to clear in some history-rich middle-European city, as I head to a spot I’ve heard about that has the good bread. Do other people come up with dumb fantasies like this? Sometimes I feel like I have an illness. Favorite songs were Karma, Bejeweled, Question, and antihero. I feel bad putting the hits on here but they were what I liked.

**Non-Album Songs**

**The Alcott (The National feat. Taylor Swift)**

Barn me, music video. Thank you, I’m ready to start now. The lead singer of The National has resting muppet face and it makes me want to hug him. Look it up, I’ll be over here sharpening my next confusingly accurate pseudo-complement. Man, I love this song. I hope people like it. “Read my sentence out loud, cuz I love this curse on our house.” Can Taylor write my eulogy? I have terminal vibe poisoning and it feels like a warm blanket choking me out, slowly, gently.

**Anti-Hero (feat. Bleachers)**

The intended head bob frequency is actually double the BPM. Give that a try, but sit down because I got dizzy when I did it. Man, that line about a famous baby and 90s guilt is just a string of hyper-meaningful nonsense. I don’t know how it echoes through my millennial soul, but it sure does. Hey there’s some saxophone! They snuck it in like a clever metaphor into a music review.

**Three Sad Virgins**

Please Don’t Destroy is a cool name. Hey, isn’t that Pete Davidson? How does he always look like he just woke up after passing out in the gutter? He looks like he smells like used chap stick. Oh fuck, Ben’s dea–oh no actually he’s fine. One question, where’s Taylor? Oh, there she is, lol. What if I told you this whole bit would’ve been better if you just had Taylor do Pete Davidson’s part?

**Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)**

IDK you guys, a careless man’s careful daughter? Did you see how she drove that lambo in the rep music video? She wasn’t even looking at the road, like, at all. “Alex, this is Teen Taylor, she doesn’t even have a license yet.” Well, we need to make sure she respects her learner’s permit because once she graduates from passenger to driver, shit could go sideways. One of the benefits of doing the Taylor’s Versions separately is that I get to experience the album for a second time within the confines of the experiment, and after having listened to her full narrative arc up to the current release. Knowing what I know today, this album is absolutely freckled with lore seeds, just waiting to be sprinkled with life water and tucked into some time soil. Country Taylor is also a lot easier to vibe with now that I know it’s not all she’s got. Actually, that’s a bigger point than I made it out to be. The fact she’s hopped through four distinct genres now (at minimum) completely changes how I listen to this: “Here she is, Taylor with the cowboy hat on, boy isn’t she just cute as a button? Did you see her rhinestone cowboy boots? Did you see her curly hair?” Yeah, I did! And I’m having fun with *this* Taylor. And later, I’m going to have fun with this *other* Taylor, you should come see her, too.

**Electric Touch (feat. Fall Out Boy)**

Eyes emoji? Is this alt rock? Well, not exactly. She flirted with it but it still sounds like Speak Now. That’s the point, I know, it’s a vault track on this album. But to have Fall Out Boy lean into her sound, instead of her lean into theirs, is a waste. Hey, at least the chorus gets going a little. It is kind of funny listening to Pete Wentz sing some very Taylor lyrics. Can I request a Bullet for my Valentine collab at some point?

**When Emma Falls in Love**

I have a niece named Emma. She’s eleven. I think. I wonder if she’s enchanted by Taylor Swift music. This song is cute and carries that classic sound from this era. “If Cleopatra grew up in a small town.” I almost wanted to tease about the smaller population sizes in ancient times, but did you know AT LEAST 400,000 people lived in Alexandria when Cleopatra was alive? Bonkers. The mouth of the river Nile is a hell of a drug. Good song, good contept, not anything exciting though. Next!

**I Can See You**

I just said the last song wasn’t exciting, but this one might be. It’s trying some things that sound unique. Minor key maybe? I’m not good at diagnosing that. Would it be weird to say this sounds like rep, but played through Speak Now equipment? Yeah actually I’m standing by it. This song has the rep voice and attitude, but the instrumentation of Speak Now! This is great! The bridge borrows melodies from You Belong With Me and Love Story almost verbatim, which is sneaky. I can hear the melody of “he’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers” and also “the one you’re looking for has been here the whole time,” with startling clarity.

Music video: Is this Mission Impossible or Mr. Robot? I feel like I recognize these women but I couldn’t tell you who they are. OK hold up I recognize that werewolf! How cool that they are on good terms. Are they stealing her album art? HAH. I’m going to be selfish and root for Taylor to have a fight scene in her movie whenever it happens. She’s had some great ones in music videos.

**Castles Crumbling (feat. Hayley Williams)**

Castles crumbling is a phrase we’ve heard probably four or five times from Ms. Taylor Swift. I’m not about to break down what she means by it at large, but I’ll take a quick stab at it – castles are a romantic, fantastical structure that fit her whimsical imagination at this age. They’re a perceived sturdy thing, so when they’re crumbling it can be very frightening and make you question yourself. Also, in real life, castles are constantly trying to fall down. The reason they’re so expensive is because upkeep is unbelievably burdensome.

**Foolish One**

This song is friends with tolerate it and other songs about Taylor, or her character, being in love with someone who just…doesn’t care. Does anyone else think about how Taylor either 1. gets shot or stabbed, or 2. is preparing to get shot or stabbed in a lot of songs? Not a majority of them anyway, but I’d guess it happens in as much as 7% of her songs, which at this volume is quite a lot. As standard as this song is, it’s still kind of catchy.

**Timeless**

We’re going hard into the story right away, this is a great sign. Taylor’s describing herself finding some antique photos of a couple, and seeing herself and her lover in them. This is very on brand for our girl, especially in this era. She sees something romantic and imagines what it would be like for her. Instead of stopping there though, we’re continuing the story, broadening the scope. Now we’re on to a romance book. Once upon a time, these two concepts would be two separate songs. But now Taylor’s stacking blocks higher. If you were looking for it, this is it in my opinion – her best country song.

**1989 (Taylor’s Version)**

This is it. We’ve reached the most recent release. I can’t believe this came out right before I started this process. I’ve been excited about this one the whole time because it’s the album art I’ve been seeing since the start. My wife and I remarked that Taylor’s hair never looks like anybody did anything to it, and how it lets her stay looking like a normal, relatable girl still. That was true in the eras movie, and it’s true on this album cover. She lets her hair be messy and I appreciate it. If I remember correctly, there was even a whole thing about how Voldemort tried to get her to straighten her hair, and while she’s definitely altered her hair in interesting ways for certain projects, it feels like her normal hair is kind of a statement. IDK, you tell me.

So I thought Welcome To New York was a slightly-less-boring sitcom opening credits song before. I like it a little better on the second pass. It still has no complexity to it but it’s exciting. Blank Space is that song that I always forget about and then when I hear it I’m like, oh yeah this one is really good. It’s one that’s starting to sound like rep, but still has the bright sound of pre-rep. Call me crazy but I think if she put Blank Space (remix) on reputation (Taylor’s Version) as a vault track, with a facelift and maybe an extra bridge, it would do numbers.

Alright, alright. I’m starting to think 1989 was already heading toward the reputation sound before all the stuff happened. Style also has that city grime synth and the more dangerous smile that her rep songs have, she just hasn’t followed it to the conclusion yet. This relisten has me thinking that 1989 is one of my top 3 albums. Oh crap, yeah it is. I love the music, I love what she’s doing with the smokier voice, I love the stories she’s telling. I’m looking down this tracklist and thinking, yep yep yep that one’s a winner, that one, that one, ooh definitely that one…This is the album where I don’t get to a track and think, nah I’d skip this one if it was allowed. There’s something really special about realizing these things in real time with you, by pushing them through my keyboard. It’s different than listening with someone next to you. It’s like writing letters. It lets me feel what I’m feeling, then feel the excitement and anticipation of seeing your reaction later on. What a fun accident this whole thing ended up being. Kismet.

I have a spotify account that acts like a mausoleum for my old music, and I’ve added 1989 TV, Folklore, Evermore, Lover, and reputation to it. That’s my Mount Rushmore for this adventure. You’ll have to wait for the final ranking order for the albums. And the tracks. And the lyrics. MY EX MAN BROUGHT HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND–

Apple Music was throwing a fit so I switched to the lyric video for I Wish You Would. If you haven’t seen it, and you’re a car lore-ist, go check it out. Man, I haven’t been meh about a single song on this album.

**“Slut!”**

I’ve been looking forward to this song because I’ve seen promo art or something for it, and I was like, I be that’ll be a fun song. Turns out, it’s more of a mellow thinker of a track instead of a song to dance to. She’s saying that even if it makes the media slander her, she thinks it’s worth it for the guy. And if she’s going to be drunk to deal with all the noise of the world, she might as well do it while in love. Sad. Cool.

**Say Don’t Go**

These vault tracks have been methodical so far. I probably shouldn’t be expecting an anthem or anything upbeat. The back half of this album is more reserved to begin with. Well, it picked up! My mistake. Trust is hard.

**Now That We Don’t Talk**

This album is better than all of the other ones. Have you heard this song? Have you heard this album? She just can’t MISS.

**Suburban Legends**

I’m a suburban legend too. Look:

My friends all have cool nicknames – they call me on a landline

they all want to chase their fame

I just want to hang your picture frames

I don’t want to fan their flames – the burbs are where I choose spend my time, with you

I’m embarrassed to post that but it’s what came into my head while I was listening to it so I’m obligated. Roasts go down below. Did she just say tick tock on the clock?? “I broke my own heart because you were too polite to do it” yeah alright I’ll leave the songwriting to her I think.

**Is It Over Now?**

Red blood, white snow, blue dress on a boat. Color lore crumbs are gonna have to stay lying there, I just don’t have the energy to collect and connect them. Man, these vault tracks are totally processing how she feels about hiding from the media while the people she sang about don’t, and the toll it’s taking on her mental health. And they’re all bangers.

**Bad Blood (feat. Kendrick Lamar)**

I hear that Kendrick Lamar is very important and good, but when Bad Blood started and he started going “UHH! UHH!” I wigged out a little bit. His verse was good, and the new bass line for this chorus is adding a really cool dimension. STOP GOING UHH! He’s good with his word economy, a lot of what he wrote carried meaning without wasting anything. That’s kind of the opposite of my thing. I build meaning by tripling the recipe and then adding extra spice to balance it, back and forth until it the last bite tastes right. Amateur cook vs professional chef I think.

**Non-album songs:**

**Sweeter Than Fiction**

Taylor looks think as hell on this album art, but I love her outfit. Your eyes wider than distance? What in the world do you mean? Is she describing Anya Taylor-Joy? HAHAHA oof that was mean. She’s very talented and beautiful. And you could park a double wide trailer between her eyes. SORRY. I haven’t heard of the movie this is from, but the song is fine. It’s a standard-issue Taylor piece.

Well, folks, that brings us to the end of Taylor’s discography. Did you read it all? Did you listen to any of it along with me, while I tried to ruin it for you? We heard a lot of stuff, and I said a lot of things. Taylor became something, then something else, than a third thing, and she just kept trying on new outfits. She looked good in pretty much every single one. I feel you panicking that I’m about to wrap up, but we have things to do so strap in one last time and let’s review….

**The Eras Tour Movie Film For Theaters**

Welcome to my blog you guys! Today I went to the M O V I E S. With my wife! As a teen, a few of my friends worked at the local movie theater so I would go almost every day. I’m talking five, six times a week. I’d see everything that was showing multiple times, even if it was total garbage. I’d hit matinees after school, pay for a single ticket, and hop theaters like a fucking delinquent, but nobody bothered me because I bought concessions between movies. They were getting their money. Don’t feel sympathy for the Cinemark corporation, it’s a bad look.

I’ve done basically everything you can do in a movie theater, except for the things Lauren Boebert does. I’ve snuck in pizzas through the faulty emergency exit, enough for the small group of people watching Fury Road in nowhere Kansas at 3pm on a Tuesday, and left a tip for the teenagers who’d have to clean it up. I’ve done my homework by the light of a Nokia flip phone in the back row. I’ve danced in the aisles, held a girl’s hand, held my wife’s hand, laughed, cried, nearly peed my pants trying to hold it until the end, had a panic attack, tripped, fallen, laid down, and fallen asleep. Today, I paid $40 dollars to go to the scariest looking AMC I’ve ever pulled up to.

We were the only ones in the theater. It was 4pm in rural Virginia, for a movie that was exiting theaters in two days, and it’s what I wanted because I was going to be taking notes on my phone the whole time, so it worked out great. I haven’t been in a theater since 2019 and if you told me that my return would be for a Taylor Swift concert film…honestly I’d believe you, I’ll see anything. The trailers played for a couple pixar nothings, a follow-up to Mean Girls, a prequel for Willy Wonka, another Hunger Games thing, and some other event movie. Hollywood is truly alive with creative energy.

This performance is at SoFi in L.A.! This stadium was a big deal when it was being built, they couldn’t stop talking about it on football broadcasts. It delivered, the place is amazing and I hope to be there in person in a few years for the Olympics, one of the only things in life that I care more about than football or breathing.

I’m going to hit my highlights and give you my overall impression:

The opening of this set was so overwhelming that I’m not kidding that I didn’t write down what the first song was and I don’t remember anything about it. I was just experience the come-up of the sensory overload and being generally dazzled. I’m sure it was great.

Cruel Summer was super fun, and I was reflecting on the outrageous story of Swifties collectively deciding it would hit #1 to give her the seven consecutive that she deserves. I know she pushed it forward with promo, but it would never have happened without this crazy mass of loving and devoted fans she’s accumulated.

It flowed into The Man, which was almost as fun. I really enjoyed watching her posture shift into the masculine character, and seeing her hang out on America’s most professional looking fire escape.

We ran straight into You Need to Calm Down, and I saw the dollhouse from one of her music videos appear on the enormous screens. Every time Taylor goes for a walk down the stage with a group behind her, it looks so badass. I also love that each dress she wears has a matching pouch for the mic box. I picture her crew pulling that box and plopping it into the next pouch as she has clothes running on and off of her. As a theater person, this was fun to think about. There’s nothing quite like the energy of keeping a performance on track and the physical work that flies by. It’s the same energy as a football game or playing a concert. I love game day.

It was about at this point that I stopped taking notes. Sorry, the movie was good and I was bad. We’ll see how my memory does for us. I think we’ll be fine.

I got the chance for the first time in my life to sing along with my wife to the hits from Fearless. It helped that there were no other people in there. I caught myself giving her commentary on the backgrounds for each song, telling her the things I learned from the wiki and the comments of my blurbs. I recalled the favorite lines I’d written to her, and she patiently reminded me each time that she had, in fact, read them. This commentary thing would run the entire 2.5 hours of the movie, and my wife deserves a mountain of credit for letting me tell her so many things.

When Willow hit, I felt like someone had stolen my dog and dyed it key lime green. The witchy atmosphere, the sheer October of it, was breathtaking. It also helps that Willow is an absolute gem. Marjorie followed it, and right before it began they showed a close up of Taylor. I’m going to assume it was sweat, but she had a single bead of something running down her cheek. I’m sure it wasn’t a tear, there’s no way she wouldn’t stop to compose herself if it were. I don’t know if her grandmother is still alive.

A lot of time was spent in the Evermore material, which is totally understandable given that it hadn’t gotten a tour. I expected the same from Lover. I’d lie if I said I wasn’t wondering if reputation would hit mid-show or close it. I figured she’d close with Midnights, and I was delighted when the lights dimmed on Evermore and the stage was overrun by that signature snake.

It wasn’t the same level of mind grenade as the rep movie, but the reputation era still delivered a hell of a set. I was saying things like, c’mon, do Don’t Blame Me! Do Look What You Made Me Do! The only one I didn’t get was This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things. My favorite thing was all the Taylors in boxes. Two of the performers had really interesting and fun interactions with her through the glass that made me laugh. This was also, I think, the portion where she stomped on the set to shatter it like glass. That was a very impressive bit of theater.

I actually sang WANEGBT out loud. A little bit. It’s not my anthem but my wife was really into it so I joined in and made her laugh. Worth it.

All Too Well came on and my wife ran to the restroom. I told her that it was probably the best time, since this was a ten minute song. Her eyes almost bugged out of her head when she heard how long it was. She got back just in time for the cabin to appear on stage.

The Folklore set was one of the best. Maybe I just love the aesthetic in general, but the cabin looked so good and the stories she told were so magnetic. Taylor was great at introducing the different songs. One of the things I’ve failed to talk about up to this point is just how happy she looked. I know she’s doing her job with specific expressions and characters she’s projecting out to the crowd, but those moments where you can tell she’s just SO, HAPPY, to be touring again, it’s so hard not to soften your heart towards her. What a girl. Folklore got what I think was the most screentime of the whole show, and while I appreciated it, I think I wanted a little more rep.

Am I crazy or is Blank Space one of the better songs with one of the worse performances during the eras tour movie? It was really simple and kind of leaned on the music video, instead of doing something new. She did that for a couple songs but this one was worse for it while the others were better for it. I think I might’ve just wanted more from it than it gave.

Shake it Off is such a slam dunk of a concert song. Everybody gets into it. Same with Bad Blood. My wife asked me if she’d be doing anything from her first album, and I told her she wouldn’t leave it out Sure enough, she hit a few of those oldies and it left my wife feeling satisfied. As I expected, Midnights rounded us out. It’s a unique mood that feels informed by, but never standing upon, her other stuff. Big Taylor destroyed some buildings. I thought of Travis Kelce letting her Bejeweled.

The whole thing felt like it was coming to a close as she controlled her dancers’ movements during Mastermind. I really like how much room she gives her dancers to play and have their personalities. They aren’t faceless people, I felt like I was getting to know them throughout the show. She closed on Karma, a song I find totally captivating and also a little sad when I think about what happened to that guy.

I left the theater with my miniature tour poster held carefully so that it could make it up on my office wall safely. Yes, it’ll go into my office as a memory of this adventurous week.

**FINAL THOUGHTS**

I’ve spent all of my Saturday writing and relistening to the discography. Not everything, of course. I have my preferences now, and I wanted to use what time I have left to enjoy those. I’m going to post this without any final thoughts, it will feel more final to have for next time.