It’s week 2 of the Long Winter known as the off-season, and as I write this not only is it cold and dark out, (not cold enough to snow, however, because that would be fun), but I have a) lost my battle with a cold, which is now in full control of my sinuses, and b) have to be in court tomorrow to explain to a judge why my two clients, (one of whom is definitely in South America and the other of whom might as well be), shouldn’t face consequences for various, well, um….

All of this has combined to put me in a less-than-great mood.  Which makes me want to punch something.  A face, perhaps.  Which means it is finally time for the much anticipated “punchable faces” mock draft.

I believe that several people have recommended some variation of this topic.  RTD was the most recent, so he gets the first pick.  The rules are simple:  Is it a face?  Do you want to punch it?  If you can answer yes to both of these questions, you’ve got a qualified pick!

As always, wait ten picks or one half hour between picks.  Your commissioner is the one, the only Ivan Drago!

Careful, because whatever he hits, he destroys.

Rikki has already given me his pick.  It’s a fantastic pick.

Martin Shkreli truly does have the kind of face that even a mother would want to take a swing at.

With the second pick I’ll take long-time DFO metaphorical punching bag

Matt Gaetz, and select him to become a literal punching bag.  Oh I can already tell I’m going to display very poor form and totally telegraph the punch as I’ll be starting it from my heels.  Can’t be helped.

The person you select MUST be real.  Fictional face-punching is too broad, and also I might get stuck for a topic and want to use it later.  Also please do not actually go out and punch one of your draft selections for realsies.  That’s illegal, even if they really, really, really have it coming.

The rest of you are on the clock!