INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The regular one this time?
Yes, the regular one.
Not, like some new one down the hall that we’ve never heard of before.
No, would you please stop interrupting. Sometimes it feels like you’re just in love with the sound of your own voice.
Well, this is a radio show. A golden voice is pretty critical.
Yeah, but nobody reading this can hear…you know what? No. I’m not getting sucked into this. We’ve got a show to do.
INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The PRODUCER sits at his desk, sipping from a cup of coffee. DJ 3000 is propped against the wall, in sleep mode. The producer pulls out his cellphone and manipulates the touchscreen.
— [facetime flies open] —
DR. ZYMM: Ah, ze boys at DFO Radio. To what do I owe ze pleasure?
PRODUCER: Hey, it’s just me. DJ 3000 is in sleep mode at the moment.
DR. ZYMM: Sleep mode? At…vait, vhat time is it there?
PRODUCER: Eleven a.m. Why, what time it where you are?
DR. ZYMM: Vun in the morning. I’m in Ziam.
PRODUCER: Siam…you mean Thailand?
DR. ZYMM: Ach, ja.
DR. ZYMM pans the camera so the PRODUCER can see her surroundings.
PRODUCER: What are you doing in Thailand?
DR. ZYMM: I am looking into zome…opportunities here.
PRODUCER: Ah, sorry about waking you up.
DR. ZYMM: It’s fine. As I vas saying, to what do I owe ze pleasure? Zomething to do with your sleeping companion?
PRODUCER: Let’s, uh, please not refer to him as my “sleeping companion” in the future, but yes, that’s right. He’s in sleep mode at 11 a.m. because he was out late last night. You know why he was out late last night? Because he went to a musical.
DR. ZYMM: As in…a Broadway show? Vit singing und danzing? How would one zuch as him attend zuch a thing?
PRODUCER: Some kind of telnet protocol, I don’t know the details. But it’s weird, right?
DR. ZYMM: Possibly. Vhich show did he zee?
PRODUCER: Funny Girl.
DR. ZYMM: Ja, zis is very strange. How long has he been been exhibiting zuch behavior?
PRODUCER: Ever since you helped him and the rest of the crew escape from the time loop bubble. It’s baffling. He claims to remember things that didn’t happen, and he doesn’t remember things that did. Like that Jon Lovitz show The Critic. He says he’s never even heard of it!
DR. ZYMM: Most unsettling. He has suffered from segmentation faults in the past, have you run diagnostics?
PRODUCER: Of course.
DR. ZYMM: And it’s not psychological?
PRODUCER: I don’t think so. We had him do a session with Dr. Xavier during the week and it went smoothly enough.
DR. ZYMM: Vell vhat did the doctor say?
PRODUCER: Oh, you know Dr. Xavier. He never betrays what he thinks. Unless it’s about the Raiders’ draft prospects, or which trim shop owner is least likely to snitch on you. But I was just thinking…if he’s not crazy, and if it’s not a hardware error…could it have something to do with the time bubble business?
DR. ZYMM: Zis is a gud question. I vill give it zome thought.
PRODUCER: That’s all I ask. Actually…I do have one more thing to ask – can you supply a topic for request line?
DR. ZYMM: Sure. How about “zongs that are zung by characters”?
PRODUCER: I’m not sure I understand.
DR. ZYMM: I’ll give you an example. This song is performed by a man who sees the whole world as a board game…
PRODUCER: You mean Mark Davis?
DR. ZYMM: …ze board game is chess, so…yes, as it happens, very much like Mark Davis. But play ze song, I vill explain, you vill see.
Today’s theme is “character concerns”. We’re looking for songs that are sung by – or from the point of view of – a character. Mostly this will mean songs from musical or rock operas, but don’t be shy about requesting something a bit different that you think still fits the theme. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?dR.X4v!3r and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Last week’s puzzle answer of “Where Is My Mind” by The Pixes was ably detected by BeefReeferLives. Punch your clocks and let’s get started!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-45xNr-udU
Many, many characters in these folks’ songs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPAr7kL-mmg
If Rikki doesn’t do a Simpsons frame with McBain yelling, “CARDOSOOOO!” I will have lost all faith in humanity.
I hope the Wolf Ladies have some depth…
Lady Samsquanch from Brasil is a problem and a half.
I was just thinking, “gotta get her in foul trouble”.
yeah, the zebras been pretty clear that ain’t happening
Keep it within 10 at half time is the key
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Not when she’s hurt
Halftime is for Lady Toradol
Jesus Christ! This is so perfect coming from Hippo I almost peed my pants laughing.
Cruel mistress she is. Like a siren of the knees.
Here’s the old classic of a rambler trying to get back to his lady. Hipsters love this tune.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NFWgG4_6NI&ab_channel=KatieSunshine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gX1EP6mG-E
I have the same lightweight quasi-fleece that Wes Moore is wearing!
Lots of characters in this one
https://youtu.be/agdoeRpTfHg?si=yOn1FBnhgYzxflNY
Nice! Yeah, Bob Dylan’s very good for characters.
From the perspective of a sailor:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLoS8bGr0uo
/watching NC State/SC
I’m so old I think this trend of wearing one-legged sheaths is the most contrived fashion bullshit ever.
I’ll join you shortly, we gotta walk the dog first.
BATTLE OF THE CAROLINAS
Never spent much time in SC actually, although I hear Charleston is nice
It is, but the humidity is other-worldly.
Very nice. That’s the first place Gumby and I lived after we got married.
Our bitches hanging in so far!
/the wolf is canine, so this ain’t sexist no ofence
Wolfpack sweep?
Purdue matchup is a killer. Plus ain’t nobody beating the penis-laden UConn crew.
THIS. IS. MARCH.
C’mon TWBS!
“Penis-laden?” – Lowratio, nervously checking the backpack that was handed to him this morning
It’s pretty cool that the prospect of a sweep is still alive for not one but TWO schools.
The Huskie sweep is way more likely, but both are still pretty long shots.
The men play better when they have lady role models to aspire to
Mr. Short On-Cash is having a bad day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDf0IwXoOmY&ab_channel=GeorgeThorogood-Topic
Puzzle answer:
PRODUCER: Oh, you know Dr. Xavier. He never betrays what he thinks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTytEjcROMI
I guessed that below, you Witch of Blair.
I saw, apologies for missing that and also for mucking up the additional clue.
Cranky appliance delivery guys have opinions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTP2RUD_cL0&pp=ygUSbW9uZXkgZm9yIG5vdGhpbmcg
The album starts with this guy running late, then he gets fired for being late but picks up a tip on the horses. Bets his last paycheck and wins, at which point he goes to the pub with his mates (this song). He then proceeds to try and get laid, almost gets in a fight, and then is hung over the next morning. Fantastic album and all the songs are classics.
https://youtu.be/vTyujG2s3J4?feature=shared
A guy being questioned by the police about a dead chick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j0dPbZe1lM&pp=ygUaamVubnkgd2FzIGEgZnJpZW5kIG9mIG1pbmU%3D
I think it’s absolutely fantastic (and I hope it was intentional) that the protagonist is all “I KNOW MY RIGHTS” and then meekly backs off immediately “…so let me know if it’s alright…”
Stay with me: He’s a time traveler that has abandoned his family and gone to the future and then wants to warn his kid in the medium of song that there’s some ‘event’ coming. Did I get that right? Why didn’t he warn his wife? Was she way far away down in the basement? So many unanswered questions…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i17mgRK3GX8&ab_channel=Mike%2BTheMechanics
Whelp, this is the last one from me: The Chairman of the Board singing in the character of Kermit the Frog.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLJocgU8xAs
Thanks as always for the fun, RTD!!!
I always liked (when my kids were young) to sing as:
It’s not easy bein’ Black
The White man NEVAR cuts you any slack
It’s a wonder I didn’t get more calls from the school
It’s not easy bein white
I just can’t seem to jump to any height
Sung from the point of view of a British monarch allegedly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFNoDsOmluA&pp=ygUXaSdtIGhlbnJ5IHRoZSA4dGggaSBhbSA%3D
Second verse, same as the first!
Just so you know, I’ve given Balls all kinds of time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGuCgDikMB4&ab_channel=ClassicMoodExperience
Puzzle song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcR1W9zCjCM
Or perhaps this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqPlb5PLBvg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=953PkxFNiko
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN1IPBK5mro
Just a peak into Gord Downie’s genius: “Locked in the Trunk of a Car” is about the murder of a government official that was found in the trunk of a car but is from the murderer’s perspective and how he has to live with what he’s done for the rest of his life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6yD92BLKt0&ab_channel=TheTragicallyHip
Can tell this one really speaks to you
Oh, you! [puts hands on hips, cocks head to the side]
Is the Black Dog within a character? I’d say so.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REfPPpGIzDI
[nods in agreement]
-Churchill
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_l6A7krjrQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHxfOZH8cew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtN8UPjN5WU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKlSVNxLB-A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K63CD2pwjD0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3LFML_pxlY
Phil Collins is playing a character in this, um, pretty racist song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqQv3qef21A&pp=ygUVaWxsZWdhbCBhbGllbiBnZW5lc2lz
/this is soooo bad
Record Producer: “Ugh, this is horrible. No one will play this.”
Collins: “But the hook is great and ‘fun’ rhymes with ‘alien’…kinda.”
RP: “Can you at least do it without an accent in the bridge part?”
Collins: “Nah mate, that’s the best part!”
RP: [throws up hands, leaves stu-stu-studio]
All good, especially stu stu studio
Morrissey’s reaction to the song (artist’s conception):
From the point of view of a modern major general
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXf0o2d-W5w&ab_channel=LukeCollins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo
“I think we need to give terrorists equal air time”-said no one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTTC_fD598A&ab_channel=LeonardCohenVEVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvcaSBN82ns
“Do you have anything from the point of view of the vampire?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlJQdpOpAnc&ab_channel=EnricoGhiani
“Would you care for a double shot of that?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3SsYyTUu50
A robot can be a character. At least Dennis DeYoung thought so.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc6f_2nPSX8&pp=ygUJbXIgcm9ib3Rv
Sure, it’s on the nose, but whatta show.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhinPd5RRJw&pp=ygUTaGFtaWx0b24gc291bmR0cmFjaw%3D%3D
Better than Funny Girl. Ee-yuck. Kinda felt like a predecessor to Twilight.
“Don’t Rain On My Parade” is great, but the movie was annoying.
Puzzle song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8KJnn41j3E&pp=ygUIc2xpcCBraWQ%3D
Unless it’s this one, but I don’t think this is the first Quadrophenia song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoUwIcU9Ke0&ab_channel=hvh823iow
Oh, shit, you got it. Apologies, I forgot about the instrumental.
Real life serial killer POV = great rock and/or roll
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkwD5rQ-_d4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myqSETD5_bs
From the POV of Bill Cosby:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qb89fBLWhEg
Oh god you are going to hell, and I will be waiting to greet you there for having laughed at this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT3ZTurQyt0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AHCfZTRGiI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VZuA7iJY4Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeZRYhLDLeU
I’m Mister Egregious Oversight and I’d like to tell you, you need to give this Sue guy his due.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOHPuY88Ry4&ab_channel=JohnnyCashVEVO
One more
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bifZBxG0Gg
Feel free to panty punch me for this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBB26xe01XM
Here’s your weekly Overkill performing a cover better than the original!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYE4TNJqKVY