And God Said “Hi.”

There is nothing that can make me leave this house ever again, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

“What? Who’s coming to town”?

“Laurie Anderson?”

“No way! Here?”

“Orpheum Theater downtown Los Angeles.”

 DAMN FINE SHOT

“I haven’t been outside this house in five years but just that name alone changes all thought processes. A chance to see God, live (live not live) again?

A spark, a light, I can’t explain it but I can feel it, everything has changed. Going to let this fantasy come to fruition I am. Is that a horse?

Off to the Weirdo A Go-Go I wiggle.

Now I haven’t been to a show since the Slayer farewell tour at the Forum in LA, November 2019 and now you feel safe giving my sensitive foundation a tug do you?

Trying to tell me I’m ready to jump back into the overcrowded concert scene? Just think of all the strangers you’ll be mingling with.

This is something that I must, no, have? Lame.

Imperative? Jesus, you really are already dead.

I’m not dead, I’ll show you, it’s time to rise and drink the blood of victory as my foretold glorious reward.

Dear lord give him a tissue and perhaps a tampon.

She will only be doing 5 shows for this leg of the tour, strange no?

She blessed my city with a date. Which began conversations about tickets. Discussion of her age and her infrequent live appearances came about. Getting closer to the real meaning that this might be the last time we may ever have a chance to see her perform.

As the stench of my own near coffin wafts through the air.

We have a directive from above, (guy upstairs told us about the show) to seek out this most holy of events.Tickets for the balcony were 80 bucks each. Want to sit in the orchestra pit? 350 per will come out of the boodle!

What would you do? Let me tell you what I did.

Fourth row orchestra pit for us it shall be, upon further review a rather brilliant maneuver.

Another bright spot for the evening is to be no drunk driving which means a couple of rides in an Uber, damn it. Yet another chance to get squishy and personal (in their car) with another total outlander, swell. Nothing matters, this is going to happen. I’ve smoked A LOT of weed and it’s been about an hour since the 40 milligrams of edible that I’ve ingested making me fully prepared for most anything.

My soul has been cast to float towards downtown Los Angeles where this irrational, intentional madness is to take place, let the absurdity of chance have it’s way.

Super nice driver “Daphny,” entertained safely and got us there in perfect time to enjoy all of the alchemy.

Not to brag but that might be the best photo I’ve ever seen, no really I mean it!

First though, “Where’s The Fucking Bar John?” Roger Waters said that but you knew that already.

Nice place, don’t you think?

SPIN UNTIL DIZZY

THE COLORS ARE TRYING TO EAT MY MIND

Crushed an ice cold PBR 24 oz then grabbed another for the show and into the gates of heaven I did float, thaumaturgy filled the very air. I could feel the voodoo in my breaths, the divination in my eyes. My heart felt alive for the first time in years. Blood pounding, pulse jerking back and forth. I was plugged into an unknown high power circuit and I thrummed with electricity. The lights flickered once, then twice. Something big is coming, the lights go out, suddenly the balloon behind my eyes popped filling my chemistry with over perception.

What color is it that marks the passage of time

No cameras allowed – all shot on my Iphone.

GOD HERSELF WILL BE GRACING THAT STAGE IN JUST MERE MOMENTS

There she stood, proud, beautiful in complete control. You could feel the power vibrate from her very being, then the music started and I went with the sound to wherever it was that I was meant to be.

She played two songs from her first album (Big Science) then walked to the front of the stage where the applause roared. She took a moment to acknowledge the audience thanking everyone then she paused for just a moment , took a breath and said just one simple word, “Hi.” The crowd was in rapture, no one stirred, no one spoke so I took this silent moment to mean that I was supposed to respond back, So I say  “Hi Laurie”

Then God smiled turned right to me and said “Hi.”

My heart is still missing every 16th beat and will continue to do so until the light fades from my life’s candle.

She asked us all to do the Yoko Ono scream therapy, that’s where you scream for 10 seconds nonstop. She said, “Scream if you’re happy, scream if you’re sad.” We all stood as one and screamed in unison, In a way I’m still screaming.

When the show was over the crowd was out of its collective mind and refused to leave without hearing at least one more song. She comes out to a massive cacophony saying “Thank you and I would like each of you that can, to please stand and join me.”

Again rising as one to listen to her every word, she says “I want each of you to do as I do, as I am going to teach you some basic Tai chi movements.”

She extended her left hand and the audience like a congregation as one did likewise, “Now your right hand out to your right side” she requested all the while turning slowly at the hip.

“Now take one, just one slow step to your right.”

I was so taken, it was as if I was stupefied, so instead of trying to follow her motions I turned instead and looked at the crowd. I was astounded to see 2500 people all moving as one following her every move as if smoke.

Now I’ve been to a lot of (third time I’ve seen Laurie) shows but I have never seen a Tai chi lesson being taught!  And to see the crowd sway and move as one? The feeling of wonder? I was being thrown through the motions of being reborn.

SAYING GOOD NIGHT

Now another Uber back to the wastelands of home. This guy was cool enough but he got on the wrong freeway so he made a couple of suspect moves to try and force his way to going the right way in a rather shocking display of silly driving. Thankfully he made up for it by driving terrifyingly fast on the 110 south bound.

Having just had the Lord of All Things speak to me? Even if it was the smallest of greeting, I felt liquid. I felt demented with magic. You ever do acid? It’s like that. The next day you always feel like your brain was? I don’t know? Cleaned? The sound has become richer, the sky vaster and I can still feel that change to this day.

Changed forever by musical notes.

In my lifetime there has never been anything that moved like music. The first time I heard Pavarotti? I felt the love and beauty of what life really could mean. To still enjoy that perfect bewitchment of music performed live? Music is my one true life blessing!

Well that and beer.

DJ Lar 03/27/2024

I did not shoot during the show, we were asked not too. All shots were taken during the encore, well maybe not that one. As always I did this to myself please do not blame others as I deserved this one.

In the last four months I have gotten on airplane and flown to (story is in the works) Maine, now I’ve gone to concert and next month off to Oklahoma.

Hold on, wait just a moment.

I know Oklahoma?

I will make you a sordid promise that I will be ass to face with a bacon cheese Whataburger! I’ll do it for you, not for me. I’ll take some bawdy photos.

Someone said up next a trip too Ireland?

Me? Get the fook out of here with that!

I feel sort of certain that it’s time for me to put this whole awful Covid thing in a box and store some place safe for future disenchantment.