Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
We knew the world would not be the same. Some people laughed. A few people cried. Most people were silent [in bed].
J. Robert Oppenheimer

My snoring and farting in bed would beg to differ.

So, got out for my first round of the year. I went to a nicer place with one of my buddies that I have not seen in like six months. Was good to catch up and shoot the shite as we played. We went on a Thursday afternoon for a twilight round, so, of course, I did not get out of work on time and rushed to the course, so while I did get there before the tee time, not with any extra time. This meant that my first few holes were a warm up and I “hit” the ball poorly. [I would have been better off just throwing the ball]. The first two holes are also some of the more difficult ones on the course, so kinda of a shitty way to start the round but whatever. [makes dismissive wanking motion] After the 3rd hole I did warm up a bit and while not doing anything well, i did manage to get a string of 5 double boogies to end the front 9. The back 9 started off with another double boogie, but that’s as good as I’d do for the rest of the day. The sun went behind some clouds and the wind picked up a bit to cool me off, both on the scoreboard and physically. It was triple boogie or worse the rest of the day with a few holes that I just couldn’t do anything on and scored in double digits.

Overall, it was a fun day on the course and I did try not to get too down on myself with it being the first course with the new clubs and my first round of the year. I do need get out more to the range and practice so that I can be more consistent with my swing. I also have another round lined up for this weekend, so hopefully it goes better than my last round. I did notice that when I do make good contact with the ball, that the new clubs do hit the ball longer, but this also means I also slice that fucker 30 yards farther when I don’t. Oh well, practice GTD, practice.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: [does something ditzy] I’m so stupid, sometimes…

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The Cure. Or The Cult. Not sure, really.
BugEyedBoo

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Stealing rockingdogs bit, found a funny.

Me: I am terrified of eagles.

Therapist: Okay, take it easy.

Me: screams
Mr. Ayo

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I sold a pair of bikes to someone named Leela and refrained from making a single Futurama reference. Can we all agree that I deserve a martini?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“Pasternak rims it all the way around…”

/Balls, on a golf course in SoCal: “Strange. I feel a great disturbance in The Force, and the need to immediately watch hockey.”
Horatio Cornblower

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Guy at the Florida-Bruins game wearing a Rangers jersey.

Sir. Sir. What the fuck?
Horatio Cornblower

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Found a funny:

Doctor: You have Tom Jones Syndrome

Me: Is that common?

Doctor: It’s not unusual
rockingdog

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There’s something comforting about, with every horrible thing going in the world today, somewhere a bunch of pasty nerds are absolutely apoplectic that someone put girls in their pretend Space Empire War.

Although I will admit that if I’d devoted years to a game with a canon as extensive as Warhammer and then someone made a major change, shrugged, and said “that’s the way it’s always been, according to this stuff we just completely changed” I’b irritated too. Don’t piss in my face and tell me it’s raining, you know?
Horatio Cornblower

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A public service announcement.

May is national masturbation awareness month so let’s all get out there and do our part.
DJ TAJ

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Can you imagine having a fraction of what Trump claims to have. Fuck it — just say you’ve got $8mil in the bank. Your cheap ass is fucking around on $130K? Holy fuck — I’d have that shit in a duffel bag for that skank waiting. Have her sign whatever doc and send her with the cash I never saw and never will see.

It’s pennies, especially considering the value, and you’re gonna go accounting felony with it? You deserve to hang for being cheap, Fatso.
blaxabbath

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Not to demean anyone and their chosen profession but when a porn star is ashamed to have had sex with you, that’s so bad it’s almost impressive
Redshirt

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AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU AND YOUR HEIRS TO THE 7TH GENERATION, KARMANOS!!! FEAST ON DOG INTESTINES IN HELL!!!

Oh hey, nice game, Carolina keeper.
Horatio Cornblower

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For Mrs. RTD : https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2024/05/08/climate/direct-air-capture-plant-iceland-climate-intl
ArmedandHammered

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Well, I guess when it comes to the estimated gentlelady from the Commonwealth of Georgia, the empress has no clothes.

(mental image of Majorie Taylor Greene naked)

And now I’m gay.
Redshirt

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I just boarded a flight from LAX to Salt Lake City and Jeopardy! host Ken Jennings is sitting in front of me.
Brick Meathook

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My work e-mail is “transitioning to the cloud” Friday night, meaning I will be completely without e-mail for like 18 hrs…if everything goes WELL.

Plus then I have to install new apps for my Samsung phone and tablet…fucking eat all the shit, May 2024.
King Hippo

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“Their favorite activities are marching, sleeping, and murder.”

Congratulations. You invented cats.
Horatio Cornblower

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Look, is it my fault that high end restaurants in my city are closing down? No. Am I going to dine at them before they close? Yes.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Found a funny:

Replaced my Tesla’s horn sound with Ronnie James Dio saying “LOOK OUT!” (randomized between the one from Holy Diver and the one from Rainbow in the Dark). So far I have hit six pedestrians with my car
rockingdog

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This morning I was throwing out an empty bottle of Grand Marnier. I was also making hot chocolate. I dumped the last 5-6 drops into said hot chocolate.

This has been Cocktail of the Week with Horatio.
Horatio Cornblower

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Speaking of drinking. This weekend the Alpini (Mountain Troops and the most popular Italian military units) are holding thier annual reunion in our town. So. A medium city of 110k people… Host… A quarter of a million Alpini. It’s one big block party. These guys are popular, well behaved, and press reports point out that past reunions have generated 105 million in revenue for the host city. I had to bike into town because it’s all blocked off to protect the thousands of tapped kegs.

Good times.
2Pack

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I’ve decided that rather than grinding through a work week, that I have 7 days.

That repeat themselves.

And I know the shit I can get away with on Friday and I know the shit that I can’t on Monday.

And they most very fucking well are exclusive.

Happy Friday! Is what I’m saying over here.
yeah right

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Good evenining!

We have had contractors here all week replacing our windows and doors. I have given these 2 Russian lads coffee, pastries and Gatorade everyday. Gave them a beer today. They were incredibly thankful, so much so he fixed something on my siding gratis, and is doing the inside part the way he likes because it looks better.
Yuri “My friend, the way you pay for looks like shit, I will do it this way and just dont tell my boss.”
Konstantin is in love with litre_pug, who normally would be a happy, goofy, nuisance. “No, no my friend, he is good dog, he can work with me.”

Be nice to people. I can only imagine how others treat them with how happy they are to get treats and respect.
litre_cola

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Here’s a Covid fallout story that will explain one reason why the price of certain goods has risen tremendously

Covid Happens: Lockdown comes into effect. A large number of transport drivers that are old or have kids choose to retire or find another occupation. (bad)

Federal Gov’t: Identifies the problem of the lack of drivers, establishes all kinds of subsidy programs so that folks can get their transport (called AZ) license to fill the void. (good)

Driving Schools: Filled to overflowing. To remedy this they push thru everyone much faster than they would have pre-Covid. (bad)

Drivers: Ill-prepared for any challenges outside of what they were taught in school which wasn’t very much. A sit-ton of accidents ensue. (bad)

Insurance Companies: Quickly react. Put into place outrageous fees for drivers under 25 with less than three years experience. (bad)

Businesses: Those employing these new drivers pass on this new expense to the consumer. (expected)

Consumers: Why did my frappe with free-trade snow leopard milk triple in price? (kill yourself)

Yes, price-gouging will always happen but the cost of transportation is spiraling upwards.
scotchnaut

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I think each generation goes through the, “these kids today” phase. I have noticed that many of them write like 8 year olds. PT has gone more along the cross fit line which is generally OK but stamina suffers I think. There is no reason why a 65 year old guy should be passing 20 somethings 4 miles into a 5 mile run.
2Pack

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Found a funny:

NORTHERN LIGHTS: Take my picture! Please! I don’t look great now but the photos will be spectacular, bursts of green and pink! Take as many photos as you can!
THE MOON: Do not take my photo, if you little apes dare to photograph me I will be so tiny, I swear to god I will make myself so goddamn tiny
rockingdog

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Made it through my first day as a 9-1-1 operator without getting anyone killed or seriously injured, so there’s that. A bit different from teaching, but more exciting, and less likely to be shot on the jorb.
WCS

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Yeah Right! I made last week’s Birria recipe last night for Mother’s Day service this evening. It turned out fucking DYNAMITE! Gonna chop fresh pico de gallo today after me & the boys take my wife on a hike up to the Woodstock fire tower, which offers spectacular views of the Blue Ridge Mountains and Shenandoah Valley. Halfway through reading that recipe last week I thought, “Jennie would love this” and I was right! You made our Mother’s Day truly special and I sincerely thank you, brother.
Fronkenshteen

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Here’s an actual ad I got in my Facebook feed tonight.

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The Bruins got righteously screwed in this game, and you can make an argument that the wheels fell off after that, but you can also make an argument that if you got outshot 42-18 and your own fans are chanting “shoot the puck” at you you’ve probably not played a fantastic game.
Horatio Cornblower

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The Bruins fans are pretty disappointing: there needs to be a lot more trash on the ice right now.
Horatio Cornblower

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Admin
May 12, 2024 7:35 pm
Just got an email from a company that I made an order with earlier today telling me they ‘appreciate me’. Such fucking BS. What idiotic consultant told them they should send me this crap? Dear stupid company, I buy your stuff because it’s good quality and reasonably priced. I don’t need the brand to be ‘humanized’ and I don’t need validation from a corporate entity (DFO Corp excepted) and stuffing this crap in my email inbox is a huge turnoff. I know email is low overhead, but you still paid someone to write this crap, and even though tiny, there were resources expended to send the damn thing, so still dumb and I resent the fraction of a cent I’m paying extra to fund this nonsense.
Doktor Zymm

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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