Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
No quote this week, we have bidness to take care of [in bed]. So after 2.5 years of doing the comments post, I’m finally being let of out the content mine and am going on vacation. Woohooo. So, Don T and BFC have graciously agreed to take over the post whilst I’m away. Please be nice to them and they probably can be bribed with stuff to get more of you comments in the post, so start sending those care packages or money orders now.
Mrs GTD and I are going on an Alaskan cruise to celebrate our 25th anniversary, so we’re looking forward to getting away and seeing lotsa nature from the boat. Here’s the obigatory, please delete my browser history if I don’t come back. See ya’s in a few weeks.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Assembling a BBQ or furniture or somesuch. Doing it with my wife always results in harsh words being exchanged.
scotchnaut
“Want some help?”
“No thanks. Let’s stay married instead.”
SonOfSpam
“No, I insist.”
“Uh, should I start packing my bags?”
scotchnaut
I made a coffee table exactly like this. Ordered away for the hardware, got plans off the internet, bought cut and worked all the wood myself. About a two month project that’s now Wifeys pride and joy.
2Pack
I’ve
installed hard wood flooring
built a fence
installed the central vacuum
added ceiling fans and changed all sorts of lighting
installed all the appliances ( all the connections)
painted most of the house
done trim work
fixed lights and brakes on the car
assembled whatever random thingy we’ve purchased
poured concete
installed dry wall and then tape\mud the joints
repaired or replaced parts in random appliances
built a deck
pretty much anything around the house except working in the electrical panel or with gas I will try.
Game Time Decision
“Central vaccum!?!?”
-Mrs. Dr. Deadly, Esq., (Ret.), suddenly becoming very interested in this draft.
Horatio Cornblower
No, that would take away purpose.
SonOfSpam
Sir, the Existential/Meaning of Life draft is two doors down.
Horatio Cornblower
I’ve mentioned before that I can’t repair anything for shit!
I’ll just have to stick with these types of DIY talents.
yeah right
I beat metal into household things.
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
(that’s a new Prince Albert for Lowratio)
SonOfSpam
Oh like his union would ever allow that.
Horatio Cornblower
Sex Dwarf Local 618 has a good contract
SonOfSpam
Brick Meathook
My son is stranded at the Charlotte airport due to a late arriving flight. Calling to see if I’ll pick him up at 1:30 am in Hartford so he can rent a car and drive to Vermont tomorrow.
Me: “I know at least two people in North Carolina from Door Flies Op…”
Son: “No”
Horatio Cornblower
“…so anyway, I made a comment about Tom Brady being a cheating pedofile and I got SIX upvotes! Can you believe it son? Only 12 more hours until Burlington…”
herodotus450
Found a funny:
Gumbygirl
Man, who could possibly have had a worse day than m…What’s that, Mr. Butker? Well, yes, but you did that to yourself.
https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5493651/2024/05/14/chiefs-harrison-butker-pride-month-sin
Horatio Cornblower
It’s important to remind anybody who was upset by his bigotry and sexism that sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you the way that a speeding car driven by Britt Reid will.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Woke up this morning and found out that Brady will be in the booth for the Week 1 Browns/Cowboys game. It’s just a perfect storm of vomitus that almost makes me feel bad for Cowboys fans. Almost.
Doktor Zymm
Based on those Hertz ads, he’s going to be terrible. So was Joe Montana. They simply don’t know anything except how to be a quarterback.
Brick Meathook
I mean, as long as Brady doesn’t hack his ex-wife and her boyfriend to death he’ll be a vast improvement over the last football guy who did ads for Hertz.
Horatio Cornblower
Besides, you need to teach kids how to pitch a tent, otherwise they’ll be totally unprepared for multi-day music festivals when they get older
Doktor Zymm
“Oh, sure, but when I show kids how I pitch a tent, people get all dramatic about it.” — Jared Fogle
Dunstan
Found a funny:
an orca patiently sitting through a Geico commercial before it can watch a boat sinking tutorial on youtube
rockingdog
The Joys of Aging:
BeefReeferLives
This pilot knows what’s up
Doktor Zymm
I just don’t get men who continuously sexually harass women. After one, maybe two, solid no’s, you are just a fucking asshat if you do not leave the lady alone. Period. Do you really think another six or eight advances are going to change her mind. You. Fucking. Douce.
2Pack
Sharkbait
Money is like shit. If we spread it around, it functions as fertilizer, enabling incredible ideas to sprout and grow. If instead we just pile it up into mountains, it stinks and all the great stuff that could sprout and flourish is starved of nutrients.
That’s Rocking!
rockingdog
Re: Rikki’s sleepy dog
/Wifey insisted on taking one of the doggos to the vet this week because “she’s sleepy a lot of the time even though she has plenty of energy when she goes outside”.
//I imagine this is how the exchange went
Vet: “Well, Ruby is in perfect health.”
Wifey: “But she’s been sleeping more than usual!”
Vet: “How old is she?”
Wifey: “Going on twelve.”
Vet: “Well there you go.”
scotchnaut
This commercial where the guy criticizes the other because he doesn’t have his 6-week-old on skates yet is one of the most accurate depictions of hockey parents I’ve ever seen.
The most psychotic group of people this side of the Hell’s Angels, and at least the Hell’s Angels might help you change a tire.
Horatio Cornblower
I discovered the BilliardTV channel and now I’m totally into watching billiards on TV.
Brick Meathook
take a look at bawstahns playoff record against teams not named the leafs in the last decade and sit back and lol all night
fleshwound_NPG
Here was my wedding attire last year,
Can’t say I’ve ever been a fan of tunes
Brocky
Seems about right
Doktor Zymm
THESE GUYS THE DFO CREW THAT LIVES IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA I CALL THEM CHIEF BROMDEN FROM ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST BECAUSE TO THEM IT FEELS LIKE SOMEBODY TURNED ON A FOG MACHINE AND ALSO BECAUSE THEY BELONG IN THE CRAZY HOUSE.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Trees got in yesterday. Have activity on the yard again this week.
blaxabbath
France’s Hockey Coach: “Your playing is merde! You’re not shooting the puck, you’re not getting back on defense-that’s it, no Gitanes during intermission and [pauses for dramatic effect] only a blended Australian shiraz to drink!”
Player 1: “Zut Alors! We’ve got to do better.”
Player 2: [faints]
Player 3: [mimes wiping tears from face]
scotchnaut
I crossed “See Kraftwerk live,” off my bucket list last night. Not normally someone I would go see, but my sister asked me to go with her, and I said ‘yes’ before my brain kicked in. All of their songs had background videos, and all of the videos were 1980’s vintage. Lots of wireframe and lots of low-count polygon animation. It put a smile on my face, but I’m easily amused.
For me, their best songs were actually their faster ones. When they got slow and melodic I got bored. ‘Autobahn’ was maybe the third or fourth best of theirs.
I was in the back, so this isn’t my live clip.
BugEyedBoo
Don T
Look at the great view from the indoor ferris wheel!
Doktor Zymm
Brick Meathook
Disappointed, but like, come on.
Senor Weaselo
“I am sick and fucking tired of these requests. Leave a grandmother alone!”
-Eileen
scotchnaut
If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
It’s a simple game plan. Flood the zone with “outrage porn” and admit nothing, say absolutely nothing against TSF’s interests.
Don’t be surprised when Haley folds her cards, at the moment of maximum leverage. She’s smart enough to know the “2028 front runner” quasi-promises are complete BS…but she’s a Republican. They ALWAYS fall in line.
(Hippo meant to post this on TPM, better take anudder opiate)
I will always love this one (dedicated to Mr. Ayo)
https://ibb.co/s988Q19
Kaiser Permanente can suck all the herpes-riddled badger dicks.
oh God, I cackled audibly. AUDIBLY. ah sez
I am too fat of a fat shit to deserve it, but MY GOD is the Mexican Coke still an amazing afternoon treat.
plus crazy man Grandson Bronco gets a bottle cap to bat around!
*sending kitty hugs*
I have one Coca-Cola a year (really) and it was a Mexican Coke at our neighborhood fair this past Saturday!
https://ibb.co/0BTxThs
Happy 25th Anniversary! You kids have fun on your cruise, don’t get eaten by the polar bears!
https://youtu.be/knp9-GY6fHE?si=mxH4pB7XVtVhJBSF
Hippo is excite because my local pharmacy has some Vicuprofen in stock again! Less thrilled that my back spasm likely means abother oral steroid course. Fuckity fuck, aging blows.
FACKIN PAHMELAH YOU TRAITAH! THIS IS FACKIN TREASAHN! YOU AREAH NAWT ONE OF US! NO ONE DENIES THIS! TAWMMY FROM QUINZEE GONNA GIT HIS WEATHAH FROM THE ABC AHFFILIAHTE! GO BACK TO THE HOOSIEAH STATE!
half of the upcoming quotes if bawstahn blows this is just gonna be us going full tawmmy from quinzee
NO ONE DENIES THIS
Better than us going full insufferable Tawmmy from Quinzee if they win!
They saw everyone picked the Knicks, and then everyone died.
Let us know how that Alaska cruise works out. My wife and I were originally planning on taking one this summer, but she talked herself out of it, thinking that once you’ve seen one fjord and whale you’ve seen them all. You could make that argument for the beach, seeing as how this year we’re going to the Outer Banks for the eighth time, but I’m not in the mood to argue with her about it.
Will do, with a possible BOTG for it, with pics.
It’s been on Mrs. GTD bucket list for awhile, and we got a deal when booking this, like, 2 years ago, when the cruise peeps were trying to get people back on boats post Covid. Having done Caribbean cruises, this is more expensive than those, even with the deal.
I’m hoping to see the Northern lights and looking forward to seeing the glaciers. Any animals we see is a bonus.
My parents did one when my Dad got his cancer diagnosis. Really liked it, had always been on his bucket list. My mom was wary of the cold, but said it was great.
Hey, I said I would fill in, I didn’t promise to do a good job.
it will be better than the post I will be able to do
and while I have big shoes, not sure that I do can be called “good”, so have fun with it
Happy Anniversary and enjoy the cruise.