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Your Completely Homework-less Preseason Football Open Thread

scotchnaut

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, ,

I’ma make this short and sweet just like my last high school girlfriend. Hell, we’ll be seeing scrubs all day and night long so I’ll save my trenchant insights (HA!) for later on.

This is what we have on offer this afternoon/evening.

 

You Bet!/Purple Toe Suckers-

Gosh Bay/Brownies-

Desantis Insanity/Skyline Chili-

High Rent/Kingless Titans-

Kadarius Sucks/Jerktown-

Fish Tossers/Cheatin’ Harbaughs-

Boudin Suckers/Playstations-

There’s a rumour in the air that there’s international games shenanigans afoot. Watch at your own peril.

 

 

 

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Dunstan

Huh, so the same media that thought John Podesta’s risotto tips were relevant news in 2016 is suddenly too principled to print hacked Trump emails?

2
SonOfSpam

Amazing how liberal the liberal media isn’t.

3
WCS

Sean Hannity said he wouldn’t rest until Seth Rich was avenged.

Jesse Watters believes tan suits and hugging one’s spouse are signs of weakness to our allies and enemies globally, but supporting a convicted criminal stands for law and order.

Lauren Boehbert took time during her son’s trial hearing to tweet that Kamala Harris supports crime.

Steve Bannon said he was a political prisoner, and would serve time or cave to the woke, globalist deep state.

Ray Curto was working with the FBI most for the series.

One of these things is not like the other.

Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
2
BeefReeferLives

/NYT Pitchbot has entered the chat

0
rockingdog

Finally found the Steph Curry highlights from that Gold Medal final game! 🇺🇸 🥇 🏀

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xf-zV1uTkW0

It’s Rocking!!!

4
rockingdog

Found a funny:

taking benadryl with red bull so i can sleepwalk real far

4
rockingdog

Apparently Trumps campaign got hacked! 🖥️
Hahahaha!

3
WCS

HAXXXORED N00BS

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve noticed a pretty intense focus by the media to get the conversation focused back on his campaign (“Trump called Harris a bitch – isn’t he outrageous?”) and I honestly could give a tin shit about his campaign being hacked other than it indicates their security procedures are atrocious. If there evidence of any kind of crime it should be sent over to the DOJ, but otherwise I’m more interested in the sweat on my dirty asshole than I am about any of their middle school drama running that clown show of a campaign.

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
5
Unsurprised

Is football really back if it’s a preseason Saints-Cards game?

0
Unsurprised

It’s not even sponsored by a casino. Just Seatgeek.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You could make the same argument for a regular season Saints-Cards game.

2
DJ TAJ

HEY, the SAINTS are the only team that matter in this whole stupid league and you damn well better know it!!

1
SonOfSpam

Just changed one of my FFL team names from Super Bowl Cut (with Mark Davis as avatar) to Unnecessary Duffness. Yes, I am home alone.

4
yeah right

This is going to sound weird for the non bakers in the crowd but I wish every one of you could see my sponge right now.

We gonna muffin up this bitch!

11
WCS

Olympic distance sprinting lays somewhere between masochism and cartoon-ish supervillainism.

Am I off about this, Dok?

2
blaxabbath

That’s what makes it great.

0
SonOfSpam

So the Algerian boxer lady (that right wing assholes were calling a man) won the gold, and announced her intention to look into lawsuits against internet people. That would rule.

9
ThePirateSloth

I seen enough Seahawks football today.

/pencils Super Bowl date

4
SonOfSpam

MAYBE if they can get past the Rams in the NFC title game.

Irrational preseason optimism is so fucking fun.

5
ThePirateSloth

I kid

But if this new Seahawks regime actually shows up for the first half of every game instead of playing “OH SHIT WE GOTTA CATCH UP” second half ball, I’ll be happy with this season even with an early playoffs exit or missing the playoffs.

Basically my bar is low after these last few just exhausting Pete seasons.

3
Bogdanski

SEA-TAC vs Bob Hope actually ain’t that bad

1
fleshwound_NPG

me watching caleb williams highlights

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHRBkptxh2g

0
fleshwound_NPG

me: *sweating* manage expectations. manage your expectations. and breathe.

https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1eoybz8/highlight_caleb_williams_makes_unorthodox_screen/

0
fleshwound_NPG

no youtube vid embed but a broken embed for a reddit post link?

caleb is already breaking my internet

1
King Hippo

Hey, the backup Tits placement man is a Wolven Sort rookie. Straight down the gooch!

1
WCS

I just want to put this out there: I’m stoopid in love with a princess.
I always have been with her, from the minute I saw her I was smitten. She played hard to get for years, we went separate paths, and somehow found our way back to each other. Now, we have an incredible son together.
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I’ve had a strange few years, but genuine thanks for everyone here for keeping my morale up during some tough times. Love yinz too, but not that kind.
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Alright, enough sappy shit…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwXHKALCgbM

13
King Hippo

GIT SUM, WCS!!!

1
yeah right

Fuck are you doing?

Don’t you have a call coming in?

2
WCS

Just reported. Now yinz are stuck with me.

5
SonOfSpam

Super awesome to know some royalty, and happy that you’re happy.

5
Bogdanski

Seems like I’m finally seeing events that I’ve been hearing about for two weeks bit not seeing because Fubo now. The climbing, the breaking, the table tennis is awesome. I am definitely getting Peacock or Trumpvision or whatever it will be in 2028… Who’m I kidding, if we end up with TrumpVision there sure as shit won’t be anymore Olympics. Or maybe LA will be able to form its own “shit hole country” and still host somehow. Truly, we are at a crossroad

4
ballsofsteelandfury

LA shithole countries:

People’s Republic of Venice
Independent Republic of Santa Monica
South Central
Inland Empire
El Reinado de San Fernando
Hipster’s Paradise of Silver Lake

2
SonOfSpam

San Fernando’s really gone downhill since all the porn left town for the internet.

2
yeah right

Don’t get me started on Lancaster.

2
Bogdanski

I have a feeling Republicans will have some conflicting feelings on gun control when it comes to South Central

0
SonOfSpam

President Harris will be hanging out at the LA Olympics and it will be glorious.

Trump will be in prison or deceased. (Natural causes – ragestroke)

4
yeah right

And hopefully I’ll be hoisting a beer by your side when that happens.

1
SonOfSpam

Sure, if you can catch a reasonable flight from Porto.

2
yeah right

Gotta be offseason but I’ll make it work.

0
Bogdanski

Ugh, until now when they stop showing the men’s gold medal volleyball final to show their regular Sunday News program. Oh, well…

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am debating renting out our house here in LA and getting a place somewhere not too hot and just watching nothing but Olympics for the entire time.

0
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7JRvwfHFwo

I LOVE THIS COUNTRY

even with all our inane and insane bullshit, we can still kick your asses at exercise.

3
SonOfSpam

Fuck yeah.

1
rockingdog

Finally watched the highlights from the USA vs France men’s basketball game.
USA won gold!!! 🇺🇸 🏀

That was Rocking!!!

6
rockingdog

Curry shot over that Double-Team was LEGIT! 🏀💪

https://vimeo.com/997188313

2
Bogdanski

Hey Poochy, Pads won in extra innings! What is that?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

IT’S A GOLDEN DAGGER!

0
Senor Weaselo

That deserves a Breen “BANG!”

Maybe not quite a double bang, unless it was to take the lead.

1
Mr. Ayo

OMG, Mini Kiss is performing at a local casino. Why didn’t you give me a heads up Horatio?

9
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh. Someone should put together a K-pop version called “bbobbo” (뽀뽀).

3
ArmedandHammered

He was afraid Lowratio would hear about it and demand to go.

3
King Hippo

Thicc Punter is on the Tomsulas. No word yet whether he will dance in the Tenderloin District midweek.

0
blaxabbath

One thing I like about the French people and their country:

They’re way the hell over there.

1
SonOfSpam

I spent a grand total of about 3 days there. And in my super-limited experience, the people that the French locals were rude to, totally deserved the treatment.

But of course I’m willing to learn to hate anyone, even Frogs.

5
blaxabbath

Two things can be true.

0
ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOO SEAHAWKS FOOSBALL

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6
Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!

1
SonOfSpam

I think you, me, and nine other randos from this site could at least stay even with the Chargers.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apparently they’re looking at stripping Jordan Chiles of her bronze medal cause of some scoring shenanigans. I think if they ask her to give it back she should be like “Oh, yeah, I can’t find it, I must have lost it. I’ll be sure to give you guys a call if it turns up, really sorry about that.”

2
Doktor Zymm

Someone is appealing her appeal on the difficulty qualifier

0
BugEyedBoo

What I just heard was that the appeal from the US was made four seconds too late.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

US gymastics coaches (artist’s conception):

comment image

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Did they fax it in?

0
SonOfSpam

Agree totally. “Gosh, if it turns up I’ll totally send it back”

1
Redshirt

Okay, Touchdown. Sit down Burrow, please.

0
ArmedandHammered

Went and saw the new movie, Trap, not bad, little slow in places but would recommend but not at full price. And I am so stoked for Aliens: Romulus, the trailer looked good.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aliens: Romulus looks like Friday the 13th but instead of Jason it’s a xenomorph.

1
ArmedandHammered

And, that’s bad?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For me, yes. But I’m not one to judge others’ taste; if that’s something you’d enjoy then you should be in for a treat!

1
Unsurprised

That was not the surprise I was expecting

0
King Hippo

Methinks DonT’s previously magnificent Tits will be almost as bad as Hippo’s Donks this season.

2
Redshirt

Oh, good. The rookie is starting at RT. This will certainly end well.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You have selected ‘regicide’…”

https://vimeo.com/997173203

4
BugEyedBoo

I hope you guys in the Northeast don’t get shafted by the remains of Debby.

2939c1c5526f72f870e57c6a252cc62a2d60e574c4fe41691291866e2f102420.jpg
11
SonOfSpam

Probably just a few spurts.

3
Redshirt

Based on that map and my knowledge on anatomy, Newfoundland will be getting a lot more than a few spurts.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It depends on how many hurricanes there have already been this month.

2
Unsurprised

Oh cool. Football.

1
Gatoraids

Only thing missing from this win was a constant corner cam of Tatum

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

More like Steph CARRY amirite?

2
yeah right

Steph FUCKING Curry if you please.

2
herodotus450

Deep cut for fans of the small-market Edmonton Oilers, but the horn in this basket ball game sounds just like the Oilers goal horn

1
scotchnaut

“Canada’s Phil Wizard wins Gold Breaking in the Olympics” doesn’t make any kind of sense but is true.

1
Dunstan

“short and sweet just like [I did with] my last high school girlfriend”

Fixed that for you

1
herodotus450

The one and done format of this Olympic basket ball tournament is patently unfair for France’s Evan Fournier, he much more excels in a Series.

5
Doktor Zymm

I’m confident he can Transform himself

6
Unsurprised

Damn it

2
Senor Weaselo

And once again, Frank Ntilikina is trash.

0
yeah right

The NFL network blacked out the Raiders Vikings game because obviously LA is in the Las Vegas market.

You dense motherfuckers.

2
91
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