Oh my cats, so much to watch this weekend. America settles into its ample couches/recliners, booze and/or drugs in hand. Life is temporarily good.
The only Friday JV fixture worth watching is a 10:30p kick…but the best Lesser match of the day is an early bird, King’s Afrikan Water Pistols welcoming in the equally shit-hot Trashbirds of Brighton (7:30, USA). Truly worthy of one’s alarm clock.
TV treatment follows for the Hippo/yeah right Derby (10:00, USA), from a tense Goodison Park. Litre and I discussed this, but I don’t believe we are quite in “must win” territory yet. But Very Disappointing Everton really need to manage a point, or things will get kind of testy. Mighty Whitey away to Ipswich is an interesting streaming alternative (Peacock).
Spotlight Dance interferes with JV action, with Fronk’s Mighty Hammers taking on (in?) City of Men (12:30, NBC). Thank fuck for multiple screens, but I suspect Pep’s merry band win this pretty easily. With apologies to Fronk, of course. Just think of it as J-E-S-T! practice.
I don’t care about any of Sunday’s fixtures, but feel free to look ’em up.
JV Week One (which started Thursday night, though we shan’t discuss the Wolven Sort’s performance) continues apace:
Clemson (+12) v. Georgia @ Megatron’s Butthole (Noon, ABC)
A fine opener, indeed. Not that I expect Jawja to stumble, but 12 is an awful lot of FITBAW POINTS against a legitimate foe with a capable defense. I don’t really expect much of a shootout here, and it should be a fun watch.
Paedo State (-8) at West By God Virginia (Noon, Fox)
Yeah, we all gon’ join WCS in supporting Keep it in the Family this week. Trendy upset pick here, so the Paedos will likely roll. But let’s certainly hope not.
Virginia Tech (-13.5) at Vanderbilt (Noon, ESPN)
Now see, this is kind of a fun matchup. The Castrated Turkeys are also getting lots of offseason buzz, and they start on the road against the most beatable Power Two foe. But it’s still a decent/reasonable challenge for Week One, and I suspect it will entertain. Always good to have that third viewing option, too.
Miami-FL (-2.5) at Florida (3:30, ABC)
There is some ass-flavoUred ass (that even Ballsy couldn’t love) on the other networks, but this is solid. “Win or you’re fired” is awfully mean for Week One, but Billy Napier (whose name I had to look up, FUCK am I rusty/brain dead) had best come out of the gates flying. Losing to a middle-of-the-pack ACC squadron – at HOME – would get the execution scheduled, if not quite yet carried out.
North Dakota (+28.5) at Iowa State (3:30, FS1)
By far and away the best flipping option. Want to have some GAMBLOR fun? Put five dimes on the Dakotans to cover, and drop $20 on the moneyline for a straight-up upset. You’ll make 30 bucks with a puncher’s chance of JACKPOT.
Back for MOAR tonight, plan your naps/shits accordingly.
Thread el dos estamos up
That means 2!
Sim.
Bring Me the JV Flow!
/that NW temp stadium on the lake really is kewl
(JV Flow promptly tosses game-ending pickerception, #FamilyTradition)
Paedos did indeed hit 34 exactly, whilst Keep It In the Family got exactly half of 24. I think we give WCS at least a B+ for that clairvoyance.
Oh and I got my first draft of my patent printed at the UPS Store on my way to the airport. So I’m HUSTLING*!
*Peacefully Reading
A combination dildo and cherry pitter, why didnt I think of that?
Cherry Pitter isn’t a half bad dildo name when you think about it.
Just remember when you get your first response from the USPTO and they say “fuck yo claims” it’s not that big a deal, it’s pretty common. You’ll revise and resubmit.
And they’ll pass it the second time after they see the way I lay waste to the initial incorrect office.
I got to the airport and had half a tank. The girl was clearly loaded up with cars in return (I’m sure Sat midday is big turnover for her and Budget don’t staff) and probably doesn’t even have a working refill station on site. She goes, “I’ll say it’s full. Don’t tell anyone.”
So I got my bag out the back, got my paper, and slipped her a bill for being cool. I’m so proud of this generation replacing the Beach Boy Boomers around HAWAII HER3. Like, girl, if you’re going to learn to buck at your corporate employer (correctly), I’ll kick in the premium for your positive reinforcement.
The next car was two old sunburnt white women who looked to have many bags and few baggage handling assets. I bet they were cool.
This was the nap window, and I skipped it. I made a huge mistake.
Just woke up from my nap. Nailed it!
Even in competence and foresight…such a Bastard Man!
Good Grief! Akron is trying to get their QB Completely Ded instead of Mostly Ded.
Anyone taking Hawaii AT THE BIG HALE +14.5 v the UCLA Br10ns?
Hawaii’s OC system, I read, is operated by a man named Chang. So that could be funny.
I note in tonight’s writeup the theoretical possibility of a #BlaxSighting
Blaxīting is the rush women feel when they ‘go’ with me.
I hope you remind Mrs. Blax just what a lucky lady she is, inshallah
when you realize you made it to footbaw season
many will be soon confused by the nfl’s new kickoff rules
but not as confused as me hearing the famous sec on cbs theme…for a B1G game
There is a headline on ESPN: “#1 Sinner dodges upset bug” which I believe is stolen from the Westboro Baptist Church
Now that football is back, let us all remember that there is no “i” in team, but there is “eat me”