This summer has been a whirlwind decade, has it not? But I have good news for you – if you make it to Tweaker Halftime tonight, the calendar will move to September. Unless you are some kind of g-dless heathen on PST, obvs.
Western Kenfucky (+31.5) at Alabama (7:00, ESPN)
Just highlighting that THIS…is somehow a primetime, main-ESPN broadcast. Not that I’mma kink shame snuff films, y’all know I be a mammal of tolerance (scowls at Balls in WASP).
Notre Dame (+3) at Texas A&M (7:30, ABC)
Look, the Domers play basically ONE credible opponent all season, and its the perpetual-self-dick-trippers of College Station’s Bonfire Cult. I really don’t want to watch this, or hear the insufferable fluffery. Even if the Irish get pantsed, and lose to no more than one of the other smurfs on their schedule…they’ll surely stink up the playoff bracket. JUST FUCK OFF. Enjoyed sifting through their cheerleader pics, though.
fka Westwood Klavern (-13) at Hawaii (7:30, CBS)
Thank fuck we can say “fka” because one can never unsee Fatass Chip Kelly in a hawaiian shirt. Will there be a Blax sighting??
New Mexico (+30) at Arizona (10:30, ESPN)
Honestly do not recall EVAR having two 30+ point spreads in the same preview window. What a time to be alive! Speaking of Blax, his beloved Bear Down FOAR Midterms should win easily, but Bronco Mendenhall covers, thanks to having the same Christian name as Hippo’s 2nd cat grandson. FUCK YOU, it’s as sensible as anything else my brain shits out.
Wyoming (+7) at Arizona State (10:30, FS1)
It’s nice they scheduled both desert-based tilts so as to minimize spectator deaths. For the record, this is considered our main Tweaker Fixture. GET IN SHAPE for September now, y’all. And all praise and glory to Hippo’s muthaland!
![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)

















Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.