Well that was a week, wasn’t it? Highs, lows, schadenfreude and genuine FOOOBAAAAAAWWWW
Stupid non-gifing gifs…
ANYWAY: no matter how you felt about the outcomes of Week 1 Madness, we can all agree on a few basics-
- Watching Deshaun Watson turn his pants a matching shade of brown was good clean fun for the whole family. I don’t normally tune in for the game recaps, but I did for the sheer sadistic enjoyment. Watson is surrounded by essentially the same cast that Weekend at Bernie’d Joe Flacco into the playoffs last year, and yet he looks like it’s been ten years instead of ten months since he threw a football in anger. I legitimately believe Andrew Berry had a hand in this latest sexual assault suit coming to court- having likely waived the Morals Clause for the other 24 suits, the Browns needed a new one to try and weasel out of paying $90+ million (in real money, if not on cap space) now that he’s a rapist who also can’t throw a football.
- The Most Glorious Buffalo Bills may not go undefeated this year, but there’s like a 95% chance. It’s just Math.
- If we could harness the hostility between Giants players and Giants fans, we could end fossil fuel dependence in the country by the bye week. Listen: Daboll’s a boob, Schoen is in over his head, and Daniel Jones is an albatross around the team’s neck, trending toward an anchor. But you lot were waiting for them to fuck up. The only thing that makes you happier than a Super Bowl is an absolute trainwreck that you can pour your venom out on.
I mean, your last championship was only 13 years ago. Its voice is still changing, it’s afraid to talk to girls, and it thinks fart jokes are the last word in comedy. Buffalo would just be sobering up from the championship parade now. Put on your Greatest City in the World panties, accept the cyclical nature of NFL football and go watch the Yankees buy an ALCS loss for $300 million.
MISCELLANY:
I need your help. Specifically, I need the collective efforts of the DFO Community to help me find the 104 individuals who will pay $9,200 (plus tax!) for this:
Of course, Breitling has put out 31 other models to showcase each team, all at the same ridiculous price.
But there is something almost dreamlike in trying to conceptualize a person who would hand over the down payment on a new car (a nice one, maybe with faux-leather seats) and say “No no, good shopkeep! I would like the Cleveland Browns edition!”
I just want to meet them. Observe their habits. Maybe take some craniometric measurements for posterity.
I’m not saying Baby Boomers are an overripened generation full of overly-emotional frauds who have no clue about the world that has passed them by while they ‘just had a little fun’ consuming 24-hour news and Facebook for the last 30 years. But these seem to be complimentary Current Events headlines on their #1 network…
just before i was about to go to bed, i see this…
*stone cold glass break*
BAH GAWD
my maga mom and dad are cc fans and…LOL. LMAO
…and Elon is in the K-Hole again. Travis must feel pretty threatened…
That’s a threat, right?
I feel this Xitt by Elmo perfectly encapsulates the Title gif of the thread.
Elon Musk.
Now there’s a guy you can trust.
Boarding passes issued.
Let’s do this motherfucker.
Kick ass
This is going to be fucking epic.
Sláinte, my darling dears! You are going to love it!
I spent the last 8 months planning and just got busy with the details and arrangements then today about noon, it hit me.
And I’ve been juiced like a spider monkey on meth ever since.
That spider monkey has perfectly groomed hair. No way he’s doing meth. Maybe pharmaceutical grade coke.
Terrified and thrilled all at once. Feels like something big is going to happen, now if I can just stop screaming.
Woo! Bon Voyage!!
safe travels
Dan Cortese
I, too, would like to meet the moron buying that watch.
What, you have a brick and some gold spray paint?
Watching events through Josh Marshall’s filter allows me not to have a Kubiak. He does the LAWD’s work, inshallah.
His alarm about debate #1 let me know sommet was seriously off the rails. His confidence tonight (while noting the election will still be close and we must keep taking the fight to the fascists every day) relieves the most crippling of my many anxieties.
I don’t think Trump was much better in debate #1 than this one, at least as far as his rambling nonsense was concerned. But Biden’s first 15 minutes or so left a lot of folks aghast. My wife literally ran out of the room. “I can’t watch this!” Harris did drive Trump off the deep end in debate #2, though.
It’s cool this country can run on autopilot.
From the reactions I’m seeing, she dogwalked that bitch.
FoxNews says it was 3 on 1. And Trump doesn’t reach people via debates anyways; he connects with undecided voters through a decade of rallies, most of which appear to be little better than the WWF house show I saw one in Reno as a kid.
Also he told her it was his turn to speak. It was the sassy #5 of the top 5 things for me to know about the debate.
Well, you can’t let that meat go to waste after you’ve made your greyhound tuxedo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9caquYqGBR8
I really like this vest
I can tell
Oh god, they’re interviewing a “focus group” of undecided voters. I’m going to want to kill someone.
One woman is talking about how the abortion issue might move her to Harris because she’s tired of men telling women what to do with their bodies. But she “wants to know more.” She wrote her own name in for 2016 and 2020. You fucking absolute clown. Roe v. Wade was overturned because mouth-breathers like you wouldn’t vote for Hillary in 2016. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Uh, but vote Harris!
This is why I can’t work in politics. My utter contempt for the average voter would shine through.
I didn’t vote for Hillary. Then again, I also live in a city that’s so blue it’s accelerating into Hell
I voted Libertarian in 2016.
Since no elections from my ballot were decided by one vote, I found the thing to be a little deflating.
Thanks everyone for the debate recap, I only made it through about five minutes
Just gotta say, if you have a righteous hate on for Trump, and you didn’t watch the debate, you should. After about a half hour into it I went from, “Damn, this is gonna suck,” to, “I’d watch a half hour of this every day!”
I might just go back and do as you suggest!
A taste of what’s in store from her: “World leaders are laughing at you!” That left a mark.
Setting him on tilt is absolutely the right way to go. Don’t try to treat talking with him like it’s civics class. GOOD JORB/JERB.
That’s how he gets you. First you’re laughing at him and next it’s “You can judge a man by his enemies, and his enemies include genuine demons like the Cheneys and McCains.”