Wakey, Wakey-It’s Your Sunday Afternoon NFL Open Thread

We’ve got a nice selection of games in this window-a couple of interesting divisional tilts and of course there are a few teams that desperately need a W. [stares in Ohio]

To The Games!

Broncs/Jets:

With Garrett Wilson getting a TD last week, Rodgers for the first time ever threw a score to a wr that was drafted in the first round. The Packers front office could be just as passive-aggressive as Rodgers himself. Is Denver’s running game off to a slow start? Well, rookie Bo Nix leads the team in rushing with barely over 100 yards. (107) He’s also run into the end zone twice which is good because he hasn’t thrown the ball there yet.

Vikes/Packers:

Minny has knocked off two playoff teams from last year (Texans, Niners) and never trailed. Magic Sam is off to a sizzling start but grizzled 29 year-old vet [rolls eyes] Aaron Jones has been doing his part, running at a 5.4 ypc clip. As a bonus he gets his Narrative Revenge Game! Love is back for Green Bay and Addison for the Vikes which gives the latter a wonderful problem to have-what to do with Nailor?

Saints/Falcons:

These teams have played one another 110 times and each has won 55 tilts! Kamara has drunk from the Fountain of Youth and leads the NFL in scrimmage yards just like the old days. An odd thing about Atlanta last year was that they had a stingy run D and there has been some carryover-they’ve yet to surrender a rushing touchdown.

Eagles/Bucs:

Saquon leads the league in rushing because hey, competent o-line! Some Philly wr has to fill the void now that Smith has joined Brown on the injury list, perhaps Dotson? It’s time for that insurance piece to shine although there wasn’t much faith in him last week as he had only three targets.

Bengals/Panthers:

It’s The Battle of the De-Clawed Kitties! Carolina is excited about Dalton which is the first time anyone outside his family has felt that way. Vet Thielen has a hammy so the youngster Mingo and Legette will have to fill the void.

Jax/Texans:

Josh Allen threw for 4 scores vs the Jags D and Nico already has 12 catches for 15+ yards so expect mayhem from Stroud. Girlfriend has struggled mightily and leads all QB’s in turnovers since the year he entered the league.

Steelers/Colts:

I was of the opinion that Indy had a respectful D but both Mixon and Jacobs have run for 150+ yards against them. It looks like Warren is a no-go so they’ll see Najee in their nightmares this evening, no doubt. As Richardson works through his growing pains Michael Pittman is feeling the collateral damage in his stats-he has but 88 yards receiving to date.

Rams/Bears:

Can you believe that Caleb set the Bears single game passing record of 363 in only his third outing? All these years and no Chicago QB has ever gone for 400? It’s a bit difficult to believe. Speaking of tossing, Stafford needs just 223 yards to pass Eli for 10th all-time. He’ll need help from second-teamers Robinson and Tutu to get there. Good luck with that.

See you in the comments.

 

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Redshirt

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Senor Weaselo

Remember, it’s still the Jets.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They’re fine. Green Bay has meekly handed the menu back to the waitress. There will be no order of bananacakes this afternoon.

Unsurprised

Jordan Bynum’s PUNCH-OUT!

litre_cola

Jags gunna jags.

King Hippo

DOK LIVES!!!!!

Unsurprised

Gotta give them props for the effort. That was so close to a TD.

litre_cola

Hippo haz double happy with Donks and Everton? Pillz for everyone!

Mr. Ayo

DONKS WOO!

fleshwound_NPG

yinzers, bears fans tried warning you

Unsurprised

Saints aren’t supposed to be the ones needing miracles.

Unsurprised

In a rarity for Dixie, Cousins couldn’t seal the deal.

King Hippo

God, the Saints are so stupid

fleshwound_NPG

wait, did they start another Crusades or what

fleshwound_NPG

game-ending STAFFORDCEPTION

Unsurprised

That’s the Fatt Mtafford we know and love.

Unsurprised

“Time becoming the enemy of the Texans.”

Evergreen comment.

Unsurprised

Atlanta with Elite, Reid-like time management.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Green Bay asking the waitress for the desert menu; appears to be contemplating ordering some bananacakes.

Redshirt

(A. Reid has entered the chat)

Unsurprised

I hate how many head coaches look like they’re as roided up as their players now. Gimme fatties!

Gatoraids

Ozembic and draft kings ruining the league

Unsurprised

Literally

Redshirt

Trey Hendrickson is ded.

Doktor Zymm

C’mon Imaginaries, don’t lose me survivor!

Redshirt

Cincinnati Bengals: Allergic to Success

King Hippo

They’re gonna play hardball, insist on steak-umm.

Doktor Zymm

Throw in a side of sweet potato fries and he’s gone at the bye

clint greasewood

jar of gardenia get the deal done.

Redshirt

Wow.

IMG_0276.jpeg
King Hippo

Like Magic Johnson. But fatter. And without Original Recipe AIDS.

King Hippo

I am confused. I am sleepy. I am high as fuck-fuckistan.

litre_cola

FLACCODOWN!

fleshwound_NPG

ELITEDOWN

Senor Weaselo

This is turning into a vintage Jets game.

King Hippo

Red Rocket, thanking Satan after that TD. BOLD!!

King Hippo

Hay-soos? I like him very much. But he no help with halftime deficit.

Unsurprised

Azalea Banks?

fleshwound_NPG

bears…offense…again!?!?!?!?

Unsurprised

Bears: I am an offender! I WILL OFFEND AGAIN!