The Quest for 0-5 begins tonight! No, Jacksonville isn’t playing-I’m talking about not getting a W yet again in both my fantasy leagues. Will my tight end get zero points? Will I forget to play a defense? Will my starting QB get injured in the first quarter? Will I keep pretending that my losses are all due to that durned ‘bad luck’? Oh my, yes!
A reminder that the first London game of the year is this Sunday. I’ll leave it to a certain Hippo to remind you all of what sort of viewing that is.
Minutae:
-Nick Chubb practiced for the first time this week. The Browns need him desperately but there’s no timetable for his return.
-I’m not much of a fan of Mike Florio on tv (he comes across as a self-serious, very shrill fella) but I do listen to his PFT podcast in bits and pieces and was rewarded today when he said something along these lines, “Why was Aaron Rodgers not heavily recruited out of high school? Why did he slip in the draft? Why did he clash with Green Bay management? [other examples follow] BECAUSE HE’S AN ASSHOLE!” It had to be said by someone that has a relatively high profile in the football media community and he said it. Kudos to you, Florio.
-Roger Craig is on the list of ‘senior’ players that are eligible to get into the Hall of Fame. During his first seven years in the league his lowest total of yards from scrimmage (when coaches and media were biased towards ‘runners’) was his rookie year and it was a paltry 1,152. He had two seasons whereby he accrued 2000+ but like anyone that was given that much work (McCaffrey’s ears are burning) his body broke down after that. If Sayers and Davis are in the Hall, he needs to be.
-A wee fantasy insight-over the last 15 regular season games Mahomes has equaled the number of top 10 fantasy points finishes of one Tommy Cutlets with…one. Btw, Dimes has three and Jake Browning has five.
-Is it lousy overall QB-ing? Is it the number of rook signal-callers that have been thrust into starting roles right out of the gate? Is it two-high safety looks that have taken away the deep ball? As a group, all QB’s are averaging 202 yards passing so far this year. Since 2020 these numbers have gone south-249, 243, 228 and 217. The 156 TD passes thrown so far this year are the fewest since 2008.
To The Game!
Bucs/Falcons:
-I’ve always thought that the NFC South was a dirty grab bag of sub-par teams trading the division championship year after year but the Bucs are three time defending champions. As I suspected, nothing of any real importance is celebrated in Florida.
-Evans is the TD Maker but Godwin kills Atlanta’s secondary cb-he’s scored nine TD’s in his last eleven games vs the Falcons.
-That Bucs D sacked the hell out of Hurts last week to the tune of a half-dozen times. That might just be a reflection of the mess that is “Go Birds!” right now because they’d only got to a QB twice during the previous two games.
-Tampa Needs Turnovers! They’ve not lost a game when getting more takeaways than their opponent for the last 15 tilts.
-Screw Arthur Smith! (and Bijan as well, I guess) Only 26 more teams have rushed more than Atlanta so far this season. Go passing game!*
*Kyle Pitts had zero points in fantasy last week
It’s all you now.
Baker did not look good there.
Speaking of jerry Jones, saw this today and got a chuckle
Just had a funny conversation with my pops:
He *legit* does not remember the falcons going to the superbowl in 98, nor any of the players on it
Eugene Robinson made enough memories for everyone else, so it’s okay.
If it helps I have very vivid memories of the second time the Falcons were in the Super Bowl
I should down vote this.
Arthur Blank, looking more like Dracula than he usually does tonight.
Early Halloween costume? It IS spooky szn now…
The Metropolitans get it done!
it met
Your halftime WTF – window cut into wall so people can see into kids’ bathroom.
https://www.joemygod.com/2024/10/pa-school-board-cuts-windows-into-gender-identity-bathrooms-upon-advice-of-local-christian-law-firm/
How does that even make the most infinitesimal bit of sense?
Did you not read the part about “local Christian law firm”?
But there’s no obligation to follow really, really stupid advice.
The human race deserves to be exterminated during the coming machine uprising.
Can we rage against it first?
We’re not getting off that easy or lucky
Not enough attorneys get disbarred.
No matter how much people hate us, it’s not enough.
Creepy pervs.
4-2 mets, dirtbaw packers melting down
That 1st Half was a lot like the Republican Party: highly offensive with little to no defense.
holy shit, 9th inning alonso 3 run homer and the mets lead 3-2 over the dirtbaw packers
YOU GOTTA BELIEVE!
not only has the defense been bad, the stupid amazon ai red bubble predicting the blitzer has been way wrong more often than not
.
He asked to negotiate against someone with a soul and/or brain
LOOKIT EM ALL SKEDADDLE OUTTA THE WAY! I AM A GOTTDAMMED STAR THAT OWNS A BUNCH OF GOTTDAMMED STARS! EXCEPT FOR THAT FATTY COACH I HIRED. YEEEEEeeeeeHHAAAAWWWWWwwww I AM FUCKIN CRAZY!!!!!!
Jesus fucking Christ.
No, but Jerrah is convinced they golf sometimes.
kaylee hartung got bigger balls than me
LOVE the Drake! Rub sum dirt on that back and get up on that pitch again!!
It’s fucking pathetic that the only good news I ever read about is news about China
I would love for the NFL to broadcast the conversation the ref has with the replay official like rugby does with the TMO
BLEERGH is wonderful
BLEERGH is good
Not everybody worships
But everybody shooooould
na na na na na na na na BLERGH!
BLERGH!
sheeeeit, we’ll have a whole hymnal before too long
Don’t these towns have the best stripper culture in America?
And, not so coincidentally, the best meth
if so james harden would have a lifetime contract with the hawks by now
Right, Houston is one too, no?
I’ve been told Portland has the most per capita
We have a shitload of strip clubs in the state and specifically in the city, but I wouldn’t go inside one even if doing so would bring my mother back to life (because who wants to see that pole dance?).
I got a sweet mug for tasting beers at a random lager fest I happened upon when randomly visiting the coast this summer.
The mug is now full of vodka, lemon juice, and lime juice. I’m immune to scurvy and NATO.
Accurate
THIS GAME LEMME TELL YA I CALL IT JANUARY 6 BECAUSE THERE IS NO RESISTANCE, A BUNCH OF DUDES WEARING RED HATS RUNNING AROUND, AND IN A FEW MINUTES I AM INSTEAD GOING TO WATCH A WOMAN TAKE A HOT LOAD TO THE FACE (WHEN I GO TO PORNHUB)
You could have seen a woman take a hot load to the neck on January 6.
oh so it was the neck and not a pure headshot? skill issue, so much for my tax dollars going to good firearms training
Yes. There was also an entire SWAT team lined up on the stairs 20-30 feet behind her just waiting for some kind of go call. The whole fucking situation was a farce. Those losers weren’t getting through those doors under any circumstances.
Kinda wish they did break down the doors.
My god, the boost that would have given the gene pool…
Shit. The vodka already has me misreading shit.
How much do bananacakes cost at the Arthur Blank Dome?
h/t to the Freebird bumper music.
Your dignity
Jerry Maguire reference after last TD. Beat that, English-speaking dickheads.
THIS ATLANTA OFFENSE, I CALL IT TURNING THE TABLES AT AN ALABAMA FAMILY REUNION BECAUSE ITS COUSINS THAT ARE CHOOSING WHO GETS FUCKED, WHERE AND WHEN.
That’s a pretty grim key party.
M-O-O-N!
Sure, now he holds onto the ball.
Sleepy Hollow is my favorite Halloween movie. (Christina Ricci can really fill out that dress)
What’s next? A pressure plate IED in your driveway?
Well, this was a response to Fozz’s picture of his wife’s Viet Cong-esque boobytrap.
Thanks for reminding me, got to check on that. Lot of rain lately.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0qFdeSCjjA
American Psycho would like a word….
My wife left the rake like this. I took a picture and shared it with her. Her response was, “Well, it was on the walkway, so you could see it.”
My older sister called me crying today, what’s new?, because we don’t spend time as a family as much. Well, she has one kid. I have three idiots. My younger sister has three daughters. My father is in la la land, my mother is whacked out of her mind.
So, why in fuck would I want to spend more time with this cast of characters?
To write a tv show script?
PREVIOUSLY, on Whassamatta You…
Younghue wide
Sterling Sheppard is still in the league???
koo misses two
crowd says boo
bucs say woo
how bout you
I don’t know who the current Poet Laureate is, but my vote is for you.
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
Times two!
Dingleberry moving around in pocket much better tonight. You might say he’s shaken loose.
OMG OMG did you guys see
The Padres won last night!!!
https://bsky.app/profile/cjzero.bsky.social/post/3l5l3dhunhb2n
They play the Dodgers starting on Saturday!!! ⚾️
It’s ROCKING!!!
I’m doing my part by not watching the playoffs and risk cursing your team.
I tried to do my part last night talking about the Padres and emphasizing you’d have found it rocking. Beat LA!
shermans march to the sea had more defense in georgia
+1 destruction of Atlanta.
https://cwnc.omeka.chass.ncsu.edu/items/show/23#:~:text=We%20must%20have%20Peace%2C%20not,all%20must%20respect%20and%20obey.
tl;dr “I’ll help you rebuild later what we’re destroying tomorrow.”
You pulled it off NC State’s website!
FERGIT, HAYULLLL!!!!!
I pulled it off Google search engine!
DEFENSIVE PLAY!?
Speaking of poor defensing strategry, lookit the “blocking” by Bijan and Pitts.
First to 40?
Did they keep the turf from the Georgia Dome and put it Megatron’s Butthole?
that’s some impressive sphincter control if they so done
25 years ago: The Tampa 2 dominating football
25 years later: Tampa 2 minutes or your touchdown’s free
I’m watching the game with the sound off and listening to opera. It’s um, fucking nuts.
Watch a Hashtag Pauls game on mute with Adagio For Strings.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53FDkWb7Mv4
The symbolism isn’t lost.
You listening to Ride of the
ValkyriesBaltimorons?(thousand yard stare about Henry running for a thousand yards on Sunday)
I wish I could think of some fatass so I could make a Thousand Island Stare reference
Somebody tell Team MRSA to get their defense on the field, please. The game has started.
I told them not to take I-40, but NO! “We want to see the mountains and the tunnels!”
ROBOT ANUS DOME
Soooo had the trench dug to the shed so we can run electricity to it . . .and fucking cut two different underground pipes.
WHY IS IT ALWAYS SO FUCKING HARD?
If the pipes aren’t leaking you’re good. If you shut off power, sewage or water to your neighbors, you were never there.
It was the drainage from the downspout, and the other was laid in to help drain the lawn. So i guess I’m lucky, but fuck it.
Been there. Done that. Invested in rubber over glue.
A common lament from the staff at Orchids of Asia Massage Parlor
dockworkers strike averted
we can still ship the giants and panthers to germany and keep them there
No take backsies!
Who got ratfucked this time?
Is it just me, or is Marshawn Lynch’s segment kind of pitiful and hard to watch?
Also, scotchy is right on Craig. Dude changed the way RB is played. He’s not in, but Curtis “3 yards and a cloud of meh” Martin is? Just fuck that fucking shit.
Also also? Mandatory means MANDATORY.
Can I get a Caretaker Exception, or does MANDATORY mean “off watch”?
I mean, you can watch on your muted phone, I guess. So long as it stays on.
“Redshirt, you rolled Dad off the bed!”
“Sorry, Mom. I was distracted by the Jets missing on 4th & 5 on the Vikings 34.”
“THAT’S YOUR PRIORITY RIGHT NOW?! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT DADSHIRT?!”
(slightly slurring from ALS and slight concussion) “I know. It’s far too early to pass up on the field goal.”
SEE? Everybody wins!
“Don’t know about the ALS, but we can take care of that back injury!”
-Dolphins medical staff
Mandatory!
There it is!
Dinner #1 – egg and cheese sammich on toast
Dinner #2 – PB&J, also on toast
Beverage: Coke Zero
Mrs. Fozz is not home. Surprised?
Surprised at the lack of bourbon.
That’s his bed, bath, and beyond
Moi?
The classic home cooking done by yours truly is broiled/grilled/fried steak and tater tots.
https://twitter.com/historycalendar/status/1841160634857374147
He’s history’s greatest monster.
Arthur Smith is now fucking things up in Pittsburgh. Better than Matt Canada, but that’s a pretty low bar to clear.
This day will never end and it’s been nothing about gripes all day preparing for an evaluation on Monday
As someone who’s been loudly decrying Q-A-Ron as an asshole for over a decade, takes one to know one, Mike
/I wish this stupid anecdote wasn’t true
Youngest Son: “Girlfriend’s family is going camping and I’ll be taking my trailer this weekend.”
Wifey: “Cool, now you need to take some stuff-maybe cook them some breakfast on Saturday morning.”
YS: “That’s a great idea!”
Wifey: “Right. You’ll need bacon, eggs, bread, butter, potatoes, milk-”
YS: “Nope on the milk, her mom thinks that milk causes cancer.”
Wifey: “Huh…”
Is raw milk a thing among Canadian idiots? Because it’s a thing among USA idiots. “Pasteurization’s for homos!” and the like.
Raw milk is pretty fuckin’ hazardous to your health. That stuff killed people before pasteurization.
On one of the forums I visit there’s a member who tries to convince people that raw milk really isn’t that bad for you. They get smacked down in a hurry.
Yeah, I was just gonna say. That’s the new buzzword (“raw milk”) to antennae for, in case of friends/family falling down the rabbit hole.
If they’re dumb enough to drink it, I’m smart enough to not correct them.
If you drink raw milk, you get everything you deserve.
She sounds like a Grade A moron who could use a couple of semesters at Bovine University.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGRdsNe7skQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSyB-OIRtR0
That is some kind of hair.
It amazes me that people were shocked when he came out. That curling iron hairdo should have been a major clue!
Yeah, his coming out was, um, not news really.
But that voice, dammit. Like butter it is.
Weren’t people shocked when Rob Halford came out? I mean, you wanna talk obvious…
“You Got Another Thing Coming” was about his penis ppl forget that
Don’t forget “Jawbreaker”!
Next thing you’ll tell me is that Liberace was gay.
You may want to sit down before you read this.
You ready?
Just, again, this may be difficult or shocking to learn…
Okay, here we go…
(inhales)
Richard Simmons was gay, too.