HAWT STOVE ACTION!: Tuesday Open Thread

It’s all coming together, bitches.

Self-delusion isn’t a mental illness in the NFL- it’s a core value and bona fide occupational qualification. (Most) players and coaches intellectually know that the NFL is a closed system, a zero-sum game. All teams have real talent, all teams do a great deal of prep, all teams (save possibly the Eagles) have a strategy that can win games.

But absent the dreaded Tie, only half the league can win every week. When both teams do their little pregame prayer circle, Jeebus is still only going to smile down on one of you. And your team is likely to face down an objectively better team several times a season.

But you can’t just hit “simulate game” in that situation, no matter how much the Jags would like to. So coaches and players delude themselves into thinking they have a chance, that if they Believe Hard Enough they can overcome anything.

And that’s bullshit. Because both teams are out there Giving 110% or whatever, so it comes out in the wash. But I understand the necessity. How else are you going to motivate 53 guys to put their health and safety on the line when they are 1-14?

Still, kudos to those clear-thinking teams who know themselves. A GM’s job is to be clear-eyed and ruthless assassin 8in self-examination. The trade deadline (Election Day!) is still three weeks away, but a couple teams have decided to start stocking up for next year.

-Joe Douglas apparently decided to keep his job for a few more weeks, trading a conditional third rounder to the Raiders for Davante Adams in a last-ditch effort to resuscitate the Aaron Rodgers Experiment.

The Jets will pay more than $11 million in salary this season for Adams.

Both teams are 2-4, and both teams are going to need to draft quarterbacks next year. The difference is that Raiders GM Tom Telesco (new to the job this year) still has rope left, while Joe Douglas has a remaining shelf life in the milk/eggs range. Additionally, while wouldn’t want to place any bets on a Mark Davis vs. Johnson Brothers think-off, Davis at least has some concept of allowing professionals (other than barbers) to Do Their Jobs. Antonio Pierce and Co. appear resigned to taking their lumps this year behind Aiden O’Connell, while the Walking Deadmen in New Jersey know that there is no happy ending for them barring literal divine intervention. Kudos to the Raiders for finally recognizing reality.

-Someone may want to check on Dee and Jimmy Haslam, because it looks like someone else’s hand is finally on the wheel in Cleveland. In what I assume was a palace coup by Andrew Berry, the 1-5 Browns made a Really Good Trade, sending Amari Cooper to The Most Glorious Buffalo Bills in exchange for (essentially) a late third round pick.

It’s a win-win for the Bills and Cooper. Cooper was the only WR1 the Bills could afford (less than a million dollars in cap hit), and Cooper gets to bail on the biggest disaster on the Great Lakes not involving Gordon Lightfoot. And Cleveland?

–Never change, Jets…

-Sirianni, you poor dumb bastard. Engaging with Eagles fans was a bad idea, but once you are in the cage, you cannot under any circumstances look away or show weakness.