As long as there’s games I’ll keep intro-ing.*
*not a guarantee, sometimes I feel lazy
To The Games!
Panthers/Commies:
Have I said this before? Washington reminds me of Houston last year in that their games became watchable so fast they crept up on everyone. Who’da thunk they’d have been favored by 9.5 at any point in the season? Though there are many factors involved-luck being the most prominent I think-these teams are a dramatic illustration of how ownership can affect the product on the field. As the Commies O evolves keep an eye out for Noah Brown, his targets seem to be increasing.
Raiders/Rams:
Vegas’ pass D looks surprisingly good until you see who they’ve faced-Watson, Nix and Fields don’t scare anyone with their arms. Stafford, even though his wr unit is undermanned, should have a good day. Here’s something odd according to Next Gen Stats-Raiders qb O’Connell has had 442 dropbacks in his career and has not scrambled once. It seems hard to believe that Vegas would have an old dinosaur playing the position.
Chiefs/Niners:
The stinker of the window. Kidding! Stay tuned for a massive REMATCH NARRATIVE! Purdy’s game keeps evolving-he leads the league in highest average depth of target and also somehow in highest rate of throws into tight windows. (23%) Everyone talks about Spags and the Chiefs D but right now their turnover differential is -4. As well, KC has some work to do on the other side of the field as well because they’re 29th in red zone TD conversion rate. One thing Andy doesn’t get credit for aside from parenting is that he identifies problems and slowly fixes them over the course of the season. He never seems to coach a dramatically flawed squadoo. Rookie wr Piersall should make an appearance 50 days after being shot. I don’t know what the big deal is, I was back at work the next day after getting my Covid vaccine.
Keep it going.
Raiders sponsored by the casinos as a marketing ploy to show people its possible to beat Vegas
KC treating Purdy reeel well
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLEL-Gewt6E&t=2s
Meanwhile, at Factor’s Deli on Pico:
https://ibb.co/pxsCWGH
I split this (I had the near half) and I think I’m going to die. Maybe not for a couple of years if not decades yet, but as the Hindus say “We are all dying.” I think it’s the Hindus, maybe, but then no Hindu ever ate one of these monsters. In fact, I’ll bet your average Hindu doesn’t get this many calories in a month.
What a heartbreaker
brock uglee
It’s nawt that hot in San Jose. Maybe like 80. Sure the sun can be hot, but there’s this thing called shade that you can make pretty easily with like, tarps and umbrellas and stuff
Meanwhile, there are games that will still be on for 45+ minutes.
got to be sufficiently warmed up for Jets Steelers, like icey hot in the jockstrap
Bleh, mahomes ‘senses’ pressure, runs until the collective weight of commentators fellating him somehow pushed him out of bounds
Man, how do kickers even count as real NFL players?
anthony richardson: throwing below 50.0% in a win was some experience today
brock purdy: oooo lemme try!
Need 12 more points from the Rams D so that I can lose by 5 or 6 points!
/this strikes me as pathetic but this is where we are in life
Why doesn’t the field goal qb doink count for 2 pts?!?!
That would be rockinggggg!
A 49ers just got away from throat chopping Patrick Mahomes. I’m surprised the NFL didn’t call down to the field and demand he be dragged off by his facemask.
mahomes int to lenoir
Is Whittington even in?
Boy, did I ever hit that Noah Brown prediction on the head-eight targets last week, zilcho this week.
Man these guys on Fox are why people shouldn’t overstay their time.
is this the commentators in the NFL game or the people in commercials on the news network?
FIRE DRILL FIELD GOAL!
kyle shanahan gonna get sent to the principal’s office for needlessly pulling the fire alarm
He’ll have to wait. Zachary Taylor is in there getting another “wasting your potential” speech after getting another C+ in the College Prep courses when he could easily get straight A’s in the Honors courses.
Good for you new guy!
Wifey: “We are very private people and I want others to respect that.”
Also Wifey: [opens IG account so she can (hopefully) spy on youngest son’s girlfriend]
you (mostly) do not need an account to spy on there
I do not need to know that and will not be sharing it with wifey.
google instagram web viewers
Which Niner is ded?
Aiyuk
Me: “Is it racist that whenever I hear his name I think he has an Inuit background?”
Casual Observer: “If you ask yourself the question on a regular basis? Yes.”
Jayden!!
How weird is it to see DC playing the long game and preserving the health of their franchise QB? Almost as strange as them kicking butt with defensing and a backup QB.
Thank Glod this was against Los Panteros tho
best change of medical staff since the return of Dr Crusher
At least Dr. Pulaski didn’t fall down a Jefferies Tube to write her off.
This is what happens when we root for the 49ers.
CMC flew to Germany to get slathered with stem cells for this?
Safer than any of the COVID vaccines.
why does breakfast ball logo look like a gizzy throwgasm, is sex cannon a host
I haven’t seen a Commie rout like this since the Bay of Pigs!
I thought the commies won that one…
ohhhhh, I see what you meant now..
I think Washington might cover
one tough KHunt
No emergency QB? I’m willing to give up whatever future Brock Bowers points he would get just to see a modern NFL team try to play without a QB
Does Tim Tebow count?
of course the mcdonalds thing ol trumpy went to was a closed joint and everybody rehearsed
at least slick willy jogged to a live mcdonalds to waste a days exercise for a big mac
Obviously, did you expect them to actually let Trump loose during a real service?
after the multiple assassination attempts, id be in a bunker
At least we can be sure it’s not the CIA behind the attempts because none of the chicken nuggets exploded
Would lower the hygiene rating by at least 30 to 40%.
I expect Doug Stanhope to file suit because of unauthorized infringement of the character he created called “Shitty McFat Tits”.
Non-football rant as I catch up on the Seahawks game.
Being diagnosed at the big age of 46 as very clearly ADHD (doc’s words), I’ve spent the 2 months since putting certain moments, relationships, behaviors, etc of my life over the last 30 or so years into some context. I gotta say, now that I’ve spent a week on Adderall… I want to be really fucking angry at all of the gotdamn adults during my 80s childhood and 90s teens that minimized my signs/symptoms of ADHD with stupid shit like “oh, intelligent/creative kids all have strange quirks, Einstein had odd behavior too!”, because if I had access to help and coping strategies at an early age…
I now understand why my doc put me on a mood stabilizer before starting a stimulant.
A) better late than never
B) hugs
I attended a ADHD presentation the other day at work, and while a lot of the symptoms seemed familiar, I am still confident I only have depression and anxiety because the other stuff isn’t so distracting or debilitating that if I were on Adderall it would change (That said, I have been put on it. It wasn’t for me, after all.)
Anyway, that sucks. But those two are still kicking my ass and I am still dealing with the consequences to the extent that it genuinely seems like trying to catch up with normalcy is insurmountable and logic would preclude even bothering. Which is great because I obviously never wanted friends or a relationship or …
Anyway, part two. This is, quite frankly, you experiencing grief. We seem to be in the anger stage. I get it. I am in no position to tell anyone anything, but maybe look at it that way. That also means you get four to six more stages to go before acceptance. But like Dok said, better late than never.
At least the HOX won
Eh. What can you do*?
*Get a gun.
Washington going through Carolina like Sherman is the head coach.
Pound that KHunt!
BLEERGH is working overtime to bail out KC.
(temporary) WENTZ SIGHTING
you at a Fall Out Boy concert?
Oh fun, I heard but didn’t get to see Kirk Cousins getting flattened until now, thank you Redzone!
still howling at the fact that people with higher salaries than me were unironically picking atlanta, with captain kirk, to be a good team
He must have a great agent
Second overall pick backing up a second overall pick and doing adequate!
Ladies and Gentlemen (where?), I have purchased today containers of Olde English 800, Mickey’s, Steel Reserve, and King Cobra.
I am still looking for St. Ides and Colt 45.
Soon….
sounds like your ready for an election night special
How is it that difficult to find a selection of fine malt liquors? I blame kids nowadays
Especially in L.A. It’s not like he’s in Horatio’s neighborhood.
Our Canadia conservative dude that wants the Prime Minister job posted a commercial and the last big banner thingy posted was-
STOP THE CRIME!
I have to stop following politics soon or I’m going to have an aneurysm of my soul, which doesn’t exist
I tend to visit a certain Giants fan site and dared to suggest that the next QB after Dimes might not be any good either. I’m getting buried in shit. Of course the next guy under center is going to be better!!!
Not exactly a high bar.
I mean, I’m sure you’ve seen Big Fan and thus should know better
About time the Chefs caught a break, eh Rikki??
ok, if Daniels goes into the locker room, takes a shit, then comes back? We can make the Lamar! comp.
(shitting out a broken rib sounds awful painful tho)
Shit, be okay Jayden!
Although, at least he’s allowed to get medical attention and miss plays instead of Snyder just overruling the medical staff and crippling him.
Holy Fuck is Carolina bad, I knew they were bad, I just had no idea it was triple plus ungood bad. Did Richardson know how bad Tepper would be as an owner? And that is why he sold to him?
I mean how bad do you have to be for Marcus Marriotta can run over you?
Marcus Marriotta sighing dreamily as a Fins fan right about now
Commies D putting on a show! They’re exceeding far higher expectations than I ever had!
-German High Command, outside of Stalingrad.
*(was not shared with The Big Guy at the time)
Andy Reid hasn’t been behind something coming up that short since Britt Reid’s sentence for vehicular assault was commuted.
Probably safer for Britt and the general public if he was still in lockup.
Tom Brady announcing a game in which Patrick Mahomes is QBing.
Are we not worried about a singularity event creating a black hole of smugness from which none can escape?
What is dead cannot die
somehow, worse than I even would have imagined
And it’s nawt like the Niners counteract smug, the Bay area can only multiply smug
aaaannnndddd the pre-Monday depression has already set in. Come on, meteor…
Chiefs vs. 49ers. I envy the dinosaurs.
If you have to be alive, be going to Hawai’i.
You’re tougher than me. I got the covid/flu combo yesterday, and I feel like hammered shit.
I haven’t seen a Commie run like that since Trotsky fled from Stalin!
Haven’t. Y u no edit?
I got you.
I have absolutely no idea why I have this power.
That is the way of many of those who have superpowers.
+1 Mexican icepick