Do you like footed ball? Boy howdy, then does I ever gots GOOD NEWS for you!
(I mean, other than the lack of our beloved Early Bird Special this week. That kinda blows goats.)
USA choo-choo-chooses Villa/Cherries for the 10:00 broadcast. Are the Villans becoming a media darling? Oy yes, they are. Will this eventually grate on Hippo’s nerves? Oh yes, it will. But whatever deflects from the Redshite filth is fine and dandy. If you are a sick fuck, stream City of Men disemboweling Sham Town (Peacock). Light window overall.
Litre and Hippo can has Spotlight Clubhouse Derby?? Yes indeed, as Everton welcomes Handsome Marco Silva (ie, the One Who Got Away) to Goodison Park, one last time (12:30, NBC). It’s about time that somebody finally exploits the Toffees back line (PHRASING), and Alex Iwobi seems the man to do it.
Must be “weird-ass Daylight Savings divergence” weekend, as there are 3 Sunday fixtures at 10:00 – highlighted by Men Untied away to Fronk’s Hammers (Peacock). Loser finally gets to sack their manager? BET TEH DRAW. USA is annoyingly showing Bonesaws/Chelski instead. GROSS.
To the JV Thunderdome!
Nebraska (+25.5) at THEEEEEEE (yada yada) – Noon (Fox)
Cornfuckers thought they were people for a second, then Indiana reality kicked them in the bollocks for 60 minutes. Their reward for not folding the program? A trip to Columbus to get penetrated unlubed, all over again.
Washington (+6.5) at Indiana – Noon (BTN)
This is a very interesting contest that should have a better timeslot and non-BTN coverage. But Hippo is here FOAR it. Trap game for the Hoosiers, 100%. Let’s see how they handle matters.
Steerfuckers North (+20) at Ole Miss – Noon (ESPN)
Boomer Sooner ain’t liking their new membership in The South, that’s fer sure. Brent Venables is going to get fired, and right soon. Johnny Reb needs to win out if’n it wants to make the playoffs, no room for further mulligans.
Illinois (+21.5) at Oregon – 3:30 (CBS)
It is so strange to see this as (i) a conference fixture; and (ii) CBS’ game of the week. Can the Illini grind Quackers into their pace of play? Probably not, but I am MOAR interested than I likely should be here.
Missouri (+16.5) at Alabama – 3:30 (ABC)
Nobody believes in the Tigers, and rightly so. But they just keep on ekeing out wins. Now, they go to Tuscaloosa – with Roll Damn Tide having their backs squarely against the wall. This oughtta be good, and the stakes are high for both.
Steerfuckers South (-18.5) at Vanderbilt – 4:15 (SECN)
No way, it couldn’t happen again. COULD IT???? God, I would die laughing.
I want to do a word for word, shot for shot remake of this (or close to it) but featuring Randy Rainbow instead. I feel like having a 120 lbs. theater major prancing around saying “Ooh look at me, I’m driving a big truck! Here I am, drinking a glass of water! Oh no, a steep set of stairs, better find someone’s hand to hold!” would do a far better job of shredding Trump’s fake masculinity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGxwn_N9DtE
THIS is what should be running as a paid ad, nonstop everywhere
Maybe replace the bits of Bautista flipping tires with Randy playing golf:
[shanks shot]
“Oh, no, it went in the water!”
[drops another ball, kicks it onto the fairway]
[whispering to the camera] “Let’s just keep this between you and me…”
It’s excellent.
I will donate several shekels to make this happen.
Let me tell you the thing about tattoos.
I hadn’t had a new tattoo in 13 years but I got the one in Dublin where that poor girl just destroyed my shoulder. It needed a desperate touch up after it healed so I did some research.
Next Sunday I’m getting it redone by a badass artist to fix it proper.
When I showed her the picture of the tattoo without me describing anything she said “Somebody overworked the skin and the color dropped out.”
That’s EXACTLY what happened.
So now I’m driving to Gardena next Sunday to get my tattoo completely remade and paying the same price that I paid for the original.
Also, I dig the placement and am thinking about getting something that will kind of match on the other shoulder.
That’s how they get you!
It never stops!
Other shoulder tat ideas:
1) Gothic script “Kiss the cook”
2) Ernie Banks
3) “https://www.doorfliesopen.com”
4) Trump getting a golden shower from Putin
5) pic of Malcolm X with “FUCK DA POLICE” under it
6) Massive veiny cock with a Prince Albert
7) Bugs Bunny slicing Elmer Fudd’s throat
I have more, hit me up.
Watching Guns Up!!/Bloodeyes, because I like Tim Brando on the play-by-play.
Seriously considering Fightin’ Horatios as flip option.
Guns Up!! now up 3 scores. CBSSN for self-hatred watch it is!!
/still better than el beisbol
Fightin’s are gonna finish 8-4 and then lose a ton of money going to the CarQuest Bowl or some shit.
Man, that epic Rice/UConn showdown must be breaking the Nielsen ratings.
3-nil to the grain, at the 2-minute non-warning…
Per UConn Twitter most of the students bailed and headed for the tailgating at the half.
Solid decision, if you ask me.
Spending two solid hours doing kitchen work ain’t as easy as it used to be.
The results will be more than worth it.
Spent an hour emptying out the basement freezer and got rid of all the frost.
That’s more challenging than it sounds.