Footy Footy Everywhere – A Discussion in Two Parts

Do you like footed ball?  Boy howdy, then does I ever gots GOOD NEWS for you!

(I mean, other than the lack of our beloved Early Bird Special this week.  That kinda blows goats.)

USA choo-choo-chooses Villa/Cherries for the 10:00 broadcast.  Are the Villans becoming a media darling?  Oy yes, they are.  Will this eventually grate on Hippo’s nerves?  Oh yes, it will.  But whatever deflects from the Redshite filth is fine and dandy.  If you are a sick fuck, stream City of Men disemboweling Sham Town (Peacock).  Light window overall.

Litre and Hippo can has Spotlight Clubhouse Derby??  Yes indeed, as Everton welcomes Handsome Marco Silva (ie, the One Who Got Away) to Goodison Park, one last time (12:30, NBC).  It’s about time that somebody finally exploits the Toffees back line (PHRASING), and Alex Iwobi seems the man to do it.

Must be “weird-ass Daylight Savings divergence” weekend, as there are 3 Sunday fixtures at 10:00 – highlighted by Men Untied away to Fronk’s Hammers (Peacock).  Loser finally gets to sack their manager?  BET TEH DRAW.  USA is annoyingly showing Bonesaws/Chelski instead.  GROSS.

To the JV Thunderdome!

Nebraska (+25.5) at THEEEEEEE (yada yada) – Noon (Fox)

Cornfuckers thought they were people for a second, then Indiana reality kicked them in the bollocks for 60 minutes.  Their reward for not folding the program?  A trip to Columbus to get penetrated unlubed, all over again.

Washington (+6.5) at Indiana – Noon (BTN)

This is a very interesting contest that should have a better timeslot and non-BTN coverage.  But Hippo is here FOAR it.  Trap game for the Hoosiers, 100%.  Let’s see how they handle matters.

Steerfuckers North (+20) at Ole Miss – Noon (ESPN)

Boomer Sooner ain’t liking their new membership in The South, that’s fer sure.  Brent Venables is going to get fired, and right soon.  Johnny Reb needs to win out if’n it wants to make the playoffs, no room for further mulligans.

Illinois (+21.5) at Oregon – 3:30 (CBS)

It is so strange to see this as (i) a conference fixture; and (ii) CBS’ game of the week.  Can the Illini grind Quackers into their pace of play?  Probably not, but I am MOAR interested than I likely should be here.

Missouri (+16.5) at Alabama – 3:30 (ABC)

Nobody believes in the Tigers, and rightly so.  But they just keep on ekeing out wins.  Now, they go to Tuscaloosa – with Roll Damn Tide having their backs squarely against the wall.  This oughtta be good, and the stakes are high for both.

Steerfuckers South (-18.5) at Vanderbilt – 4:15 (SECN)

No way, it couldn’t happen again.  COULD IT????  God, I would die laughing.