Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread

The Jets did a Jets thing and I’m such a happy puppy. It’s the little victories (in this case, losses) that count. Will a sullen and snarky Rodgers throw everyone under the bus at the post-game presser? God, I hope so.

-The Lions are that good and I’m glad they’ve got a loss out of the way.

-Once again, Tua gets so much shit but he sure handled the Raiders business.

-Hey! Shoutout to the Grey Cup, which is a thing up here that I’ve been ignoring.

To The Game!

Bengals/Chargers:

-The Bengals are sack-heavy-Hendrickson has eleven and no one on the team has more than two.

-Tee Higgins is well enough to play again after three week absence. Chase is the obvious guy for explosive plays but when Tee is healthy he’s no slouch, averaging nine targets per tilt.

-That Chargers D that took a bit of time to start rolling is ranked 6th overall but is rising. They have a +9 turnover differential. They’ll need some to counteract the Bengals firepower.

-It’ll be interesting to see what Chase Brown can do vs this sticky run D given that he’s a slippery guy himself that is gifted at finding seams.

Do you.

 

5 6 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
116 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Senor Weaselo

So this Golden Week (the bookend weekends where we celebrate our anniversary on the 10th and my birthday on the 13th) ends well, with a Mozart Requiem concert that went surprisingly smoothly and taught me how to fit three people and a bass in my car. Then pizza at our favorite place and my favorite tea (it’s an aged white tea, we estimate 15 years old).

ballsofsteelandfury
jjfozz

Oh, gummies and beer where have you been my whole life?

Redshirt

Speaking of things getting cooked, they finally reinforced that bridge that caught fire. Unlike the Bengals, it should be fixed by the end of the year.

IMG_0506.jpeg
Doktor Zymm

Oh yeah, I forgot the Chargers lost to the Jaguras in the playoffs, LOL

WCS

comment image

— L. Jello, FL (presumably)

jjfozz

Mrs. Fozz knocked it out of the park tonight. Penne pasta, meatballs, salad, vodka sauce. Yeah, she’s extended her contract for a few days.

Brick Meathook

Those bumper shots of L.A. are so real it makes me feel like I’m actually there.

Redshirt

Fake a concussion, Joe. Why risk injury?

jjfozz

Burrow got a bad case of the happy feet

Senor Weaselo

And that ain’t Falco.

ArmedandHammered

He keeps making plays like that and Harbaugh will have to Ctrl Del Alt.

Redshirt

Who the hell is #16 for the Chargers and why is he kicking the football?

Senor Weaselo

Man… what am I going to write for the Jets at the bye post?

LemonJello

This gif on endless loop?

comment image

WCS

Now that Pete Carroll’s not busy, I bet he and Qaron can have a lively discussion on how quickly burning Jet fuel *can* melt a lot more than steel.

Gatoraids

Kirk Cousins agent got him a 5 million dollar appearance fee on SNF next week

Redshirt

Zac Taylor won’t get fired (unless Joe Burrow tries a power play with the Brown family and sort-of GM Duke Tobin), but this has to get the DC fired. This has been happening the entire year.

ArmedandHammered

Holy Shit, that woman’s legs with that dress.

ballsofsteelandfury

Toronto is wiping their ass with Winnipeg.

How does that affect the Leafs’ chances this year?

WCS

To his credit, Redshirt *did* try to warn everyone about this.

Redshirt

Welp, nothing to do but go outside and ponder what could’ve been

IMG_0492.jpeg
ArmedandHammered

you must spendt a lot of time outside then.

Doktor Zymm

Doesn’t feel like it’s still the first half

Wakezilla

Oh my god, the Grey Cup is today!?!

We need to have a conversation about how poorly run and marketed the league has become

Gumbygirl

I saw part of the halftime show. I just wanted to see the score, instead I got the fucking Jonas brothers.

WCS

That’s like ordering prime rib and getting grass clippings. Yeah, they’re both “entertainment” just as both are “edible,” but that doesn’t make anywhere near the same thing.

Wakezilla

THIS BENGALS DEFENSE, I CALL OHIO BECAUSE JK DOBBINS JUST FLEW OVER THEM

Gatoraids

Defense Coordinator Custer Last Stand

jjfozz

Fuck the;
Ravens
Steelers
harbaugh
refs
hot dog vendors
every Steeler fan in the history of the world
my life

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m curious as to what the hot dog vendors did…

jjfozz

Fed Steelers fans

ArmedandHammered

and did not include arsenic?

jjfozz

I don’t know if you can kill a Steelers fan with arsenic. Clearly they are the result of a mutated gene pool.

WCS

Shallow pool keeps the poison concentrated on one end.

Col. Duke LaCross

People forget this.

ArmedandHammered

What that Charger just kept standing still and the defense didn’t notice him?

fleshwound_NPG

bengals with the “just bought flight tickets to cancun” defense

Senor Weaselo

Cancun on 3?

Wakezilla

I think the problem with the Bengals is their orange pants. It’s too much like the Browns, so they’re playing like them

clint greasewood

Safe to say Hate won.

Redshirt

The Bengals defense can’t stop shit.

ArmedandHammered

Sorry, I started them. It seems my choices as a Fantasy Football player have started to affect the actual teams, of course why *I* of all the millions of people who play FF am the one to have some influence on teams, I cannot say.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhJg1finpyU

Doktor Zymm

Gee, I wonder why some players might be upset with the Bengals defense

Gatoraids

hey now many more offenses get to play against them

fleshwound_NPG

we do not tax the rich nearly enough anymore

spending a zillion dollars building the greatest basketball arena, for the fucking clippers

Senor Weaselo

Sorry, we heard more tax breaks for the wealthy, so you got it!

ArmedandHammered

You know how most TRepublicans seem to want to regress to the 50’s? Say sure, if we can have the same 91% tax rate on the wealthy and corporations that Ike set.

Redshirt

We can call it The Trump Tax

Bogdanski

And the socialist GI Bill and interstate freeway project. Unless what they really mean is “a time when ‘those’ people knew to stay in their place”. How can we ever know?

Gatoraids

was reading an article about the triumph of the Bills 2.1 + billion stadium that has 12k less seats than the existing one, and how we should celebrate public was only on hook for 550mil plus of it not counting how many other concessions probably were made

Redshirt

That play had a lot of emotions.

litre_cola

I can’t wait to go to sleep. If I go in an hour I could get 9 hours of sleep which should be magical.

Game Time Decision

Go the fuck to sleep

litre_cola

Deci has to go down first!

ArmedandHammered

My review of strain Chem de la Chem – a bit harsh, but to be expected based on its potency. No real aftertaste. Very nice pleasant buzz, a little more paranoia than I have when sober, just mellow. Now I am stoned lvl 4and actually not worried about my shitty fantasy football team at all.

Gumbygirl

Sorry my dude!

ArmedandHammered

Mainly my own fault for not setting my line up correctly. Maybe I was not in the right frame of mind when I set that lineup.

BeefReeferLives

TFW Joey “Maga Douchebro” Bosa gets hurt, which leads to the 49’ers losing to the Seahawks:

comment image

BeefReeferLives

“Nick” Bosa, not Joey. Derp.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

6 of one, 88 of the other

BeefReeferLives

Nice. I did nazi that one coming

Doktor Zymm

Apropos of nothing, plasma cutters are awesome

Senor Weaselo

I wish I had woodworking or metallurgy skills where maybe someone would find me trustworthy with a plasma cutter to not accidentally take my own fingers off.

Gumbygirl

Drinking game! Drink until you’re blind drunk and totally pissed off when Collinsworth sez
1. Flying around
2. There’s no question
3. The average fan wouldn’t understand…

fleshwound_NPG

“Here’s a guy…”

LemonJello

My liver respectfully declines to participate in its own destruction.

Gatoraids

if only there was a way to go deaf drunk first

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh that reminds me I need to pour alcohol in my ears.

Redshirt

In the referee’s defense, it must be hard to see those Powder Blue sleeves wrapped around a white jersey.

Redshirt

…or the referees forgot their flags and are embarrassed to say something?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is Tua Tagovailoa’s brain.

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is Tua Tagovailoa’s brain on football.

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Any questions?

You there in the back, go ahead.

Yes. Well, the reason he was able to beat the Raiders so casually is because they are a terrible football team with incredibly dim prospects for getting better at any time in the near future. Anyone else?

Doktor Zymm

Tua sweetbreads look pretty tasty, I especially appreciate the chive garnish

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, I shouldn’t have posted this while I’m hungry, now I’m feeling like some kind of cannibal.

ballsofsteelandfury

Do you put ketchup on your Tua brains?

Doktor Zymm

ew no, but maybe some Cholula

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone should make a Count Cholula cereal and market it exclusively to Señor Weaselo.

Senor Weaselo

Put Count Von Count on it and we’re fucking sold.
One box! Two boxes! Three! Three boxes! Ah ah ah.

Redshirt

Damn it, Burton.

Redshirt

..uh…okay then, BLEERGH. Checks in the mail.

Doktor Zymm

She’s probably not, but I’m gonna pretend she’s part of Larry Hogan’s immediate family

467430574_10103554644370991_4135780804902871981_n.jpg
Redshirt

No reason to be an “incel”. Go to Nevada and support an entrepreneur.

Doktor Zymm

Indeed. The ‘involuntary’ part should be changed to ‘unwilling to explicitly pay for it or just stop being a shitheel’

Redshirt

Agreed. I’m also haven’t been fortunate enough to been intimate, but I don’t blame women for my circumstances and actions.

Doktor Zymm

You live in Ohio, so you probably don’t want to sleep with any of those women anyway

Senor Weaselo

Have I got a violin sonata or two for you!
/shameless plug

ballsofsteelandfury

Or Amsterdam!

ballsofsteelandfury

National hero

Redshirt

SHUT UP CRIS!

ThePirateSloth

GENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ThePirateSloth

This was the wrong week to start my thc tolerance break

comment image

WCS

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Redshirt

Everyone is picking Bengals? Why?

WCS

Your team’s the cursed one, you tell us.

Redshirt

I don’t know. I feel like we need to score 40 and even that may not be enough.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In the old days I would have made a grumble grumble joke about “scoring” and “40” but…

comment image

Doktor Zymm

It’s amazing how Belichick has turned out to be a pretty decent dude once he got away from Brady and the Pats

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wat

Doktor Zymm

Have you watched him on the Manningcast?

ballsofsteelandfury

He’s wearing Steelers colors!

Redshirt

Come on, Joe. Do it for Ohio State!

Joe Burrow Ohio State career highlights!

litre_cola

Mrs. Cola is pumped.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like to tell myself that I’m dead inside and that I feel nothing, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I felt a twinge of satisfaction seeing that the Chiefs got beat today.

litre_cola

Did it move?

LemonJello

I figured that was the “twinge of satisfaction” he mentioned.

WCS

That Raiders handkerchief is pitching a tent that could cover an aircraft carrier.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Mr. Ayo

It’s Sunday night! You know what that means? It’s time to RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!

comment image

Senor Weaselo

LGR!

Mr. Ayo

There are way too many Rangers jerseys here.

litre_cola

I for one would like Winnipeg to win Le Coupe Grey.

ballsofsteelandfury

I have to say it’s been a fun day of football all day.

Let’s keep it going, Bengals!