Hey.

We’ve wrapped up week eleven, do you know where your team is?

Let’s look at Freezer Vodka League’s standings.

Like Andy Reid’s colon after closing down Fogo de Chão, there’s not a lot of movement…This week we have Sofa Loren and Stoma Fuckers Utd sharing an 8-3 record and the top two spots on the board.  Looks like they can start making playoff plans for now. Nipping at their heels, we have a scrum of teams at 7-4 consisting of We Are Spamily, Lowratio’s Couch Fetish, AJ Hawk Tuah Tagovailoa, JD’s Chesterfield Dreams, and Musical War Propheteers, all vying to get into the playoffs with dreams of Big Turks filling their heads.  The trio of Heinous Fuckery, Original Recipe White Claws, and Big Bag of Suck orbit the Jeff Fisher Zone at 5-6 and still harboring hopes of post season glory, and fears of being sent down to the Lowratio League.  Relegation Zone inhabitants this week are Dead Hobos and Free Thursday Night Points at 4-7, Unnatural Gas at 2-9, and The Schlitzstains at 1-10.

Remember: The bottom four (4) teams in Freezer Vodka League will be relegated to Lowratio League for next season.

And now for the Lowratio League’s rankings.

Duke’s Chicago Waffles stands astride the rankings like some golden age colossus with a sterling 10-1 record. Not far behind them, though, is Gumbygirl’s Felonious Monks at 9-2, pacing the leader with an eye toward the championship. Rod Rust never sleeps is next at 8-3, confident in securing a promotion spot but wary of the teams below them. Here’s where it gets interesting with the last promotion spot in contention now between War and Peace, Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses, and the Bearsenschiesse Barons, all with 7-4 tallies and dreams of playing in Freezer Vodka League next season. Let’s not count out Shiba is for the People! with their 6-5 record and still plenty of games to be played.  Prowling around the edges of the Jeff Fisher Zone we have Casa do vinho FC and Heather’s Horrible Hikes at 5-6. Treading water and starting to make off season vacation plans are Ambiguous Aaron Rodgers, Sebastian’s Swag Team, and Gimli’s Groin Grabbers at 3-8. That leaves A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge and The Brick Experience at 2-9 and mathematically* eliminated from this season’s championship chase.

*did not do the math, so this may not be true

Remember: Top four (4) from Lowratio League get that coveted promotion to Freezer Vodka League for next season.

**BONUS** Jacksonville Jaguars At The Bye **BONUS**

How am I viewing the 2024-2025 Jaguars campaign?

That pretty much sums it up. Oh, you want a second opinion?

My pre-season prediction: 10-7 and winner of the AFC South

Current status: 2-9, last place in the AFC South

The Jaguras season is over.

Is it because of injuries? Prison Girlfriend has been out with a shoulder owie. Tank Bigsby with an ankle. Gabe Davis has nagging knee issues. Christian Kirk out for the season with a broken collarbone. But that’s not it, all teams deal with injuries.

The offense cannot score points. Of eleven games played, Jax has broken 30 points twice, 20 points thrice.

The defense cannot stop the opponents from scoring. In those eleven games, they’ve given up 20, 18, 47, 24, 34, 35, 16, 30, 28, 12 and 52 points.

The team cannot hold a lead, nor can they score late to secure the victory. They’ve lost six games by a one score margin to date.

Mac Jones is not the answer as the backup QB. I’m not sure Lawrence is the answer as the starter.  He’s regressed from their playoff run two years ago.  His line does him no favors in pass protection, combined with a tendency to hold the ball too long and, well, you see what that gets you. The square root of fuckall.

HC Doug Pederson is on the hot seat with rumors flying that he could be fired this week. Should he be? I don’t think the performance on the field is his all fault, but it also appears from my perch here in the cheap seats that he’s not making adjustments to address any of the teams shortfalls.  But who’s going to fix any of these issues at this point? Run out the games and make the decision while the playoffs run their course (Jaguars will be watching from the comforts of their living rooms).

But, hey, they’re on pace to have the 1st pick in the draft. Silver lining and all that…

Games remaining: Texans, @Titans, Jets, @Raiders, Titans, @Colts

My bye week prediction for the season: 5-12. Last in the AFC South and looking another rebuilding right in its lifeless eyes.

Obligatory:

Until Next Time!